Saturday, June 14, 1997 --But Saturday the 14th is worse |
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Note: This journal entry, and Friday's were actually uploaded on Sunday. I plead company, and leave it at that. My parent's weren't so bad and Maggie is a back.
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My complete day was not bad. Parts of it were horrible. I'm not even sure where to begin. I'll begin at the beginning then, and work from there. I woke up at 7:00am this morning, without the alarm. That's a half-hour earlier than normal, but I had some concerns. Like my parent's visiting, and my bathroom isn't clean, my kitchen's still a mess, and my den isn't *complete* yet. I went ahead and started by working a little in the kitchen, then decided instead to do some work in the den. I had some things to take out to outside storage, and just, generally, get them out of my apartment. I had put some boxes out there last week, when I was preparing for my Dawn's visit. When I opened the door, I heard a horrible, plaintive "mew?" First reaction: I thought, "Maggie?", second reaction, that wasn't from in front of me was it? It was both. Maggie was in my external storage closet. She must have gone in ther ewhen i was puttin boxes in it last week. I quickly pulled some boxes out of the closet, and reached down and petted her , just alittle. She wsa skittish, and didn't really believe I was going to let her out. I eventually got her out, and took her inside, petting/talking/apologizing. How did I feel? Like the lowest human on earth. I'd just done something unthinkable to an animal that looked to me for care, trust, and responsibility. I fed her a can of wet food, to build up her liquids and food thinking, "God she's small." She didn't stop crying except to eat. I sat down at my terminal, doing what I always do in a crisis: Find someone to tell. I'd just received email from LadyDawn telling me she was (generally) ok. I didn't empathize much in my reply, spending more time on my problems. I guess if I'd waited, I would have paid more attention. My confession done, I decided to feed Maggie another can, and gave her a bowl of water beside the dry food. I went back outside and got my keys (which I'd left in th door to the storage closet), and put the things I needed to in the closet. I went back in and started in the kitchen again. Loaded the dishwasher, started it, took the remaiing dishes and started the tap, to feel t hat. Then I went in the bathroom and started there, preoccupied with what I'd done. I picked Maggie up, and she let me pet her for awhile, not quite purring yet. I got up to get something to drink before returning to the bathroom. My kitchen was 2" deep in water from the sink overflow. *DOH*. I quickly cut it off and drained the sink. Four towels in the bathroom, drying, thrown on the floor. I used the towels to 'sop' up the water. Thank goodness I was on the ground floor. Back to the computer then, relaxing, and I've received new email from LadyDawn: I can't find you phone number what is it? I got on IRC, and there she was. We chatted, and then she called me. Maggie crawled into bed with me while I talked with LadyDawn, and let me pet her, purring now. The basic result of all this disaster was that I was laughing at myself over the water thing, and forgiving myself for the Maggie/Storage closet thing. At least, Maggie seems to have forgiven me. I'm not sure I can, yet. I also realized that my project to complete cleaning was hopeless. I shut my room off, and just decided to keep the Parents out, and clean the rest like I'd want. Not up to their standards maybe, but I was happy with it. (And they only made two comments, even though Mom offerd to 1) do the dishes and 2) vacuum my carpet.) Somewhere I reached a point of basic contentedness where I was just glad to be unpacked, and to have Maggie on my lap. My parents arrived late, bearing gifts (two more Knit shirts..yaaay!) I gave Mom her Mother's day present quilt book, and took them shopping. We ate lunch at Lupie's Cafe, where even Dad had to admit that the chili was hot. Mom, I took to a quilt store, and she was in hog heaven for awhile (although Dad was pacing). Then off to the Mall, and the Lionel store. Mom's getting her 30+ year old train repaired, and we obsessed over houses, track and so on all day. Model trains are a very geek thing, and I'd always wanted Mom's train set. Only recently have I relized how much Mom likes the set too. Maybe I'll save for an a small train set myself, instead. We got back, changed, and headed for Cajun Queen, a really quaint restaurant in an old two-story farm house. We sat in what used to be a screened-in porch (now glass) and watched it rain as a jazz band played. I tried a blackened steak, that melted in my mouth, and realized how really content I was that they had come, and that this weekend had gone so well. Then again, maybe I was just drained of all emotion after everything that had gone on. I made allusions to mom about my writing, trying to hint at the fact I don't really like programming anymore. She suggested that we 'take a look at the site' when we got back. I'm glad she forgot. Someone accused me of trying to out myself to them this weekend. And I have to think I (consciously? unconsciously?) tried to hint at it. Eventually I collapsed from the day of it all and went to bed.
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