Sunday, June 29, 1997 -- An old friend |
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Still don't know what's wrong with mom This journal was avoidably detained...as I catch up, you will be enlightened. |
I drove to AJ's on Friday, and got lost. We have a joke, between us, AJ and I. We never get lost, because we don't really care where we are. It might sound stupid, but really, we were just happy hanging out, or in ourselves. Ginger and I used to get lost on purpose..just to find things, or see new things, or "Excercise your hypothalamus," as Ginger would say. She told me that the hypothalamus is the part of your mind that likes new things, or is responsible for location sensing...something like that. I'm no brain expert. I'll stick to physics and chemistry, and let the biologists theorize. Either way, it's a neat idea. AJ is also the worlds worst giver of directions. She once gave us a landmark, of some 'blue rocks' which were leftovers from some construction. To her defense, I bet they'd been there a long time. They were gone by the time we got there. I got lost because 54 has more than two exits off of I-40. And I missed the first one. That flipped over the directons (left<->right, etc..) and changed a 'twenty mile' drive to a '2 mile drive'. Of course, I assumed it was AJ's directions that were bad, and drove around Chappel Hill for half an hour. I eventually realized my mistake and found her place. We stayed up late, talking about their ex-roomates and old friends. We tried to tell each other about our new friends, most of whom we'd both met, but had trouble remembering. The big story with them was about their ex-loser roommate. He seems to succeed for awhile and then royally screw up, going through these cycles. He also likes to buy new things..."He has a magpie syndrome," AJ's roomate/boyfriend said. I had to think, the only real differences between me and that guy are I'm learning to moderate my spending, I've never screwed over my friends, or when I have accidently done it, I've fixed it ASAP, and my parents haven't given up on me yet. I pondered my good fortune, and thought about him, and hoped I could avoid the trap. The next day, AJ and I were off to Raleigh to visit her friends. I also planned to tell her my secret, once we were away from Chris. As we sat at the flea market, waiting for it to open, I asked her about Keith. Keith was my best friend in high school. For the most part, he was there for me, and I for him. He moved, but not far, and we stayed in contact. Eventually, I convinced him to move out of his parent's house, and room with me in Greensboro. I was living with Jordan, a woman whom I'd probably like now, but who I thought was nuts then. As I write this I wonder if it's because I've been corrupted or my minds been opened. Probably a little bit of both. So, since I thought she was nuts, I moved in with Keith. It went ok for awhile, but we had some basic problems, caused at least a little, by the fact that we didn't talk about the important stuff. [The kitchen is a mess, and it's your turn to clean it.] Of course, Keith didn't like Heather, either. In some ways he was right...in others wrong. The real kicker was, I discovered I was bi while I lived with Keith. Keith is scared to death of homosexuals, or at least with anyone thinking he's gay. Personally, I think he's repressing something, but it's not my business anymore. Keith is the person I got alot of my ideas about sex from, and some of that fear imprinted on me. Only college saved my life. Keith didn't go, I did. I changed...a lot. Eventually, I had to move out of there, too. That christmas was the first time I wanted to tell AJ. Some odd things happened with her there, and Keith was around, so...I tabled it. Every Christmas since, Keith was there, and I tabled it. So I used him as the exuse why I hadn't told her so far. Me: Well, you see, Keith is fairly homophobic, and I'm bi, and that's why i couldn't tell you. AJ: Oh. ok. I think your right about Keith. No reaction. None. At least right then. We went into the Flea Market and went to the Cosmic Lemniscate. It's a wiccan/indian/medieval store that sells wiccan books and altars, and tarot cards and crystals and chain mail and stuff like that. It was fun. I bought the Tolkein deck, and the Dragon Deck. They are beautiful, wonderful art and symbology. No, I don't think they have any fortune telling powers. They might open up some intuition, but I bought them because they were beautiful. For those of you who, like me, don't know what a lemniscate is, it's an infinity symbol. Flash from The Tick: It's the mystic lemniscate ball... Naah, it'd never work... AJ's friends that run the shop are intelligent and open minded. The man who runs it used to be a computer consultant, but now works in construction. He says he's happy now. On one level, I really understand that. Evidently the one big secret AJ was going to tell me by introducing me to these people is that she's wiccan. I knew that. I wonder if she knew about me being bi. If she did she never let on. That night we watched tapes and tapes of Ranma 1/2 a funny sit-com/anime show. I had trouble with it until I realized it was a sitcom. [Ranma has a curse, whenever he get's doused with cold water, he becomes female, and the only cure? Hot water. This of course leads to all sorts of misunderstanding and confusion...] The next morning, Sunday, AJ and I chatted as we watched more Ranma. She looked at me and said, "So was the fact that you are bi the big secret?" I looked at her and said, "yes". She cocked her head and smiled and said "So what, I'm heterosexual and your bisexual, what does it matter?" And that was that. We talked about it for awhile, and i told some jokes. [Her: Well it increases your chance for a date, right? Me: No it just means i'm not sleeping with twice as many people.] I also told her all about Marie. It was my favorite topic of conversation. AJ just noded winked, and grinned knowingly at me. I promised to call after my trip to TN and let her know how things went. I got home late Sunday night, and went to bed.
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