An agent arranged an audition with tv producer for his client, a talking dog who told jokes and sang songs. The amazed producer was about to sign a contract when suddenly a much larger dog burst into the room, grabbed the talking dog pooch by the neck and bounded back out. "What happened?"

"That's the mother, she wants him to be a doctor."

 A three-year-old boy went with his dad to see a new litter of kittens. On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother, "There were two boy kittens and two girl kittens."

"How did you know that?" his mother asked.

"Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," he replied. "I think it's printed on the bottom.

 A man walks into a bar with his dog and orders two glasses of whiskey. He proposes a toast and both he and his dog empty their glasses.

The girl behind the bar is surprised and asks, "Can your dog perform other tricks?"

"But of course," the man answers. "He can even gratify a woman."

Anxious to know more the girl leads the man and the dog into a little room above the bar. She undresses and full of expectation she lies down on the bed. The dogs looks at her and does nothing. "It's always the same thing with you!" the man then shouts to the dog, "I'll show you how to do it one last time."

A woman lion tamer had the big cats under such control they took a lump of sugar from her lips on command.

"Anyone can do that!" a skeptic said.

The ringmaster came over and asked, "Would you like to try it?"

"Sure," replied the man, "but first get those crazy lions out of there."

 Dr. Cutter is the local veterinarian, known for his wry humor. He surpassed himself one summer day when a city dog was brought to him after an encounter with a porcupine.

After almost an hour of prying, pulling, cutting and stitching, he returned the dog to its owner, who asked what she owed.

"Fifteen dollars, Ma'am," he answered.

"Why that's simply outrageous!" she stormed. "That's what's wrong withyou Maine people, you're always trying to over charge summer visitors. Whatever do you do in the winter, when we're not being gypped here?"

"Raise porcupines, Ma'am."

 A farmer was helping one of his cows give birth, when he noticed his four year old son standing at the fence with wide-eyes, soaking in the whole event.

The man thought to himself, "Great... he's four years old and I'm gonna have to start explaining the birds and bees. No need to jump the gun - I guess I'll let him ask and then I'll answer."

After everything was over, the man walked over to his son and said, "Well son, do you have any questions?"

"Just one," gasped the still wide-eyed lad. "How fast was that calf going when he hit that cow?"

 There was a family who moved to Alberta and bought a ranch. The father wanted to name the ranch the Bar-J, the mother wanted to name it Susie-Q, the son wanted to name it Flying-W, and the

daughter wanted to name it Lazy-S.