On this site you can savor a sampling of the quintessential Jokebox sense of humor. The selection represents Jokebox's treasury of anecdotes, one-liners, puns and other witticisms amassed from twenty years of speaking and writing experiences in Toastmasters clubs and assorted publications. There will be regular uploads of gags, one-liners, puns, and just about everything to adorn your face with that refreshing smile.
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who share Jokebox's idea of sharing a few good laughs across cyberspace.
Seeing Stars
A visitor from Holland was chatting with his American friend and was jokingly explaining about the red, white and blue in the Netherlands flag. "Our flag symbolizes our taxes," he said. "We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bill, and blue after we pay them."
"That's the same with us," the American said, "only we see stars, too."
From Susan de la Cruz, Iloilo, Philippines
Lawyers' Secret
A man went to his lawyer and told him, "My neighbour owes me $500 and he doesn't want to pay up. What should I do?"
"Do you have any proof," asked the lawyer.
"Nope," replied the man.
"Okay, then write him a letter asking him for the $1000 he owed you," said the lawyer.
"But it's only $500!" replied the man.
"Precisely, that's what he will reply and we will have the proof we need," said the lawyer.
From Calixto Fabrero, Iligan, Philippines
Alphabet Lesson
Teacher: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".
Ellen: I is...
Teacher: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."
Ellen: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
From Joy Lim, Cebu, Philippines
The Atheist
An atheist, bored hearing about an hour of religious preaching, challenged the preacher whether he really believed in the story of Jonah and the whale. The preacher answered, "I don't know, but when one day I get to heaven, I'll have a chance to ask Jonah."
"And if he is not in heaven?" the atheist insisted.
"Then you ask him," the preacher replied.
From Rene Tio, Cagayan de Oro, Philippines
Old Folks
Three elderly ladies were discussing the travails of getting older. One said, "Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand in front of the refrigerator and can't remember whether I need to put it away, or start making a sandwich."
The second lady chimed in, "Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can't remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down."
The third one responded, "Well, I'm glad I don't have that problem; knock on wood." As she rapped her knuckles on the table, she told them, "That must be the door, I'll get it!"
From Joe Macmang, Los Angeles, Calif., U.S.A.:
Pinocchio
Pinocchio had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about splinters whenever they had sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper wherever indicated and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened.
A couple of weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?"
Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?
From Larry Sy, Burnham, Ill., U.S.A.:
Billy Bob's Obituary
A woman into the local newspaper office to have the obituary for her recently-deceased husband written. The obit editor informed her that the fee for an obituary is 50 cents per word.
She paused, reflected, and said, "Well, then, let it read, 'Billy Bob died'."
Amused at the woman's thrift, the editor said, "Sorry ma'am there is a 7 word minimum on all obituaries".
A little flustered, she thought things over and, in a few seconds said, "In that case, let it read 'Billy Bob died - 1983 Pick-up for sale.'"
From Ernesto Yu, Buffalo, New York, U.S.A.:
True Love A fellow in a bar notices a woman, always alone, come in on a fairly regular basis. After the second week, he made his move.
"No, thank you." she said politely. "This may sound rather odd in this day and age, but I'm keeping myself pure until I meet the man I love."
"That must be rather difficult." the man replied.
"Oh, I don't mind too much." she said. "But it has my husband pretty upset."
From Mario de los Reyes, Cebu, Philippines
Lumber
A couple of blond men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the blond men walked in the office and said, "We need some four-by-twos."
The clerk said, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?" The man said, "I'll go check," and went back to the truck.
He returned a minute later and said, "Yeah, I meant two-by-fours."
"Alright. How long do you need them?" The customer paused for a minute and said, "Uh... I'd better go check."
After awhile, the blond returned to the office and said, "A long time. We're gonna build a house.
