I used to enjoy political jokes ... until they got elected.

As a politician, he believes in the two-party system:  stag party and cocktail party.

The advantage of being a politician is that he does not have to fool the people all the time. Only the majority.

The humor of the month seems to be when Congressmen make a joke, it's the law. And when they make a law, it's a joke.

While campaigning, he asked the people to vote for the honest. They did and he lost.

"Daddy, do all fairy tales begin with once upon a time?"

"No, some begin with if I get elected."

Politics is just like religion. Except in politics, it's your opponent who confesses your sins.

The reason why prostitutes don't vote in a election is because they don't care who gets in.

Overheard on the campaign trail"I was never corrupt and never committed graft in office," said the fledgling politician before a crowd. "All I want from you is a chance!"

A couple of opposing candidates for county office happened to be sitting next to each other in the local diner. "I always tip waitresses really well and then ask them to vote for me," said one.