On this site you can savor a sampling of the quintessential Jokebox sense of humor. The selection represents Jokebox's treasury of anecdotes, one-liners, puns and other witticisms amassed from twenty years of speaking and writing experiences in Toastmasters clubs and assorted publications. There will be regular uploads of gags, one-liners, puns, and just about everything to adorn your face with that refreshing smile.
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Up in the hills, a census taker stops by a house and asks the woman how many people live there.
"Well, let's see," she says. "There's me and Pa. There's Billy, Bob, Susie, the twins, Ricky and Micky, and there's Tommy and..."
"Hold on," interrupts the census taker. "I don't need names - just numbers."
"Oh, we don't use numbers; we haven't run out of names yet."
Job Applicant
When Joe applied for his first job delivering newspapers, he was told, "You'll
be earning three dollars an hour. And next year you'll be earning five dollars
an hour."
"Sounds great," Joe answered. "I'll come back next year."
Swimming Lesson
I learned to swim at a very early age. When I was three my parents used to row me
out to sea in a little boat until they got about a mile or so away from the shore--then I
had to swim back. I quite liked the swim; it was getting out of the sack that was
difficult.
Little Knowledge
A little boy and a little girl were walking home from school.
"Guess what I found behind the radiator in our class?" asked the little
boy.
"What?" inquired the little girl.
"I found a contraceptive behind the radiator!"
"What's a radiator?"
How's That Again?
A man called up a motel to inquire about its room rates. The motel clerk told
him, "It depends on the size of the room and the number of people checking
in."
"Do you take children too?" the man asked.
"Sorry, no Sir," said the clerk. "We only accept cash or credit
cards."
Cruel Punishment
A couple appeared before a judge in a divorce proceeding. "What's the
ground?" the judge asked.
"Cruel and inhuman punishment," the woman said. "He tied me to
the bed, then forced me to sing the national anthem while he peed on me."
"That's terrible," the judge said.
"Yeah," the woman replied. "He knows how much I hate to sing."
Endless Love
Q. What's the definition of endless love?
A. Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles playing tennis.
Dental Braces
You have to feel sorry for kids who wear braces. My daughter has so much metal
in her mouth, when we want her for dinner, we don't call her. We just hold up a
magnet.
Smoke Signal
Two Apaches were in New York. They kept staring at the Edison plant's cluster of
smokestacks belching smoke. The first Indian asked his friend, "What
smoke signal saying?"
"Hard to understand," grunted the other Apache. "Everybody talking at
the same time."
Navajo Tracker
A tourist was walking in the Colorado countryside when he spotted a Navajo Indian
lying beside the road. The Indian had his ear to the ground and began
speaking. "White man! Drive Eldorado Cadillac. Smoke big
cigar. Blonde woman sit beside him, smoke cigarette, drink firewater!"
"That's fantastic!" said the impressed tourist. "You can tell all
that just by listening with your ear to the ground?"
"No," said the Indian. "That car run over me."
