Agent Mulder slammed his office door heavily behind him.  He
pulled his trench coat off and threw it over the back of his chair.
Mulder sat down heavily in the chair and began a rather colourful
description of that morning's commute.
 
 He was sick and tired of fighting half the city in order to get
to work every morning and this morning had been worse than most.  Between
the jerk who had cut him off on the freeway so that he missed his exit
and had to double back ten blocks, and the accident down town that had
caused a traffic jam that had him moving at a speed of around one mile an
hour, Agent Mulder was royally pissed off.
 
 It wasn't until he was finished complaining and Scully hadn't
said anything that he realized he was alone.  Mulder looked up and
scanned the office.  Where was she?  Scully always, always arrived before
him.
 
 Suddenly the phone rang and Mulder jumped.  He hit his knee on
the underside of his desk.  Mulder scowled at the offending piece of
furniture and cursed loudly.  He snatched the phone off the hook and
brought it to his ear.

 "Mulder," he snapped gruffly.
 
 "Agent Mulder," came the stiff reply.
 
 Mulder winced.  Opps, he had just snapped at the Assistant
Director's secretary, this wasn't going to be good.
 
 "Agent Mulder," she began again when he didn't reply, "the
Assistant Director would like to see you as soon as possible."

 Shit, Mulder thought, just what I need right now, a meeting with
Skinner.  And where the hell is Scully?  Oh, well, at least I have an
excuse not to go up just yet.

 "Agent Scully isn't in just yet.  As soon as she gets here we
will come up," Mulder promised in his best little boy voice.  The one
that said, I am behaving, and you have nothing on me.

 "No, Agent Mulder, the Assistant Director only wants to speak to
you.  Can I tell him you will be right up?"

 She sounded way too cheerful for her own good.  Mulder felt like
strangling someone.  His hand flexed and a pencil he hadn't even known he
was holding snapped.

 "Fine," Mulder replied.  He just barely managed to get the phone
down without slamming it.

 What the hell did Skinner want?  Mulder mentally went back over
the last few weeks in search of any sins he may have committed.  He could
come up with nothing, though.  He had been a good boy lately, as far as
he could tell.  What could this be about?

 Mulder sighed and stood up.  So far it hadn't been a very good
morning by any accounts.
 
 

 Mulder had arrived at Skinner's office not five minutes after the
phone call.  He had exchanged a few cursory words with the secretary and
she had told Skinner that he was there.  Mulder sat down to wait.  Ten
minutes later he stood up and started pacing the room.  Five minutes
after that, he was studying the paintings, that he had seen a thousand
times, on the walls.  Ten minutes after that, he was threatening to
leave.  The secratary had finished him with an icy stare and told him to
shut up and sit down.  Five minutes later the phone rang.

 "Assistant Director Skinner's office."

 "Yes, IUll tell him, thank you."

 The secretary hung up the phone and speed dialled another number.

 "Sir, Agent Scully has just phoned."

 "Yes sir, she has."

 "I'll send him right in, sir."

 She hung up and turned to Mulder, "The Assistant Director will
see you now, Agent Mulder." she said sweetly, as if he hadnUt been
waiting there for over half an hour.

 Agent Mulder was not a happy man when he entered the Assistant
Director's office.  He knew that he was glaring at Skinner, but he
couldnUt help it and really didn't care.

 "Thank you for coming, Agent Mulder," Skinner said smoothly,
"Would you please sit down?"

 Mulder continued to glare at the Assistant Director, but sat down
across from him.

 "Agent Mulder," Skinner began, "let me get straight to the
point.  Agent Scully has decided to resign from the FBI."

 "What?" Mulder cut him off before he could say any more.  Scully
had done what?  She couldn't leave him, no the FBI.  That's it, she
couldn't leave the FBI.
 
 "She has just finished cleaning her stuff out of your office,
Agent Mulder."

 What?  She had been down there while he had been up here
waiting?  How could she just sneak off without even telling him?  What
was happening?

 "You will be assigned a new partner as soon as possible, probably
within the week."  Skinner told him.

 "I don't want a new partner," Mulder snapper at his boss.

 What had he done?  He had always tried to treat Scully as an
equal.  He had thought he had done a pretty good job of that.  And
couldn't she tell him anything?  Didn't she know that?  What had he
done?  Why was she leaving him now?

 "What you want, Agent Mulder is irrelevant.  You will have a new
partner, and you will respect Agent Scully's decision on this."  Skinner
told him sternly.

 "Why is she leaving?" Mulder asked quietly, too quietly.

 "That, Agent Mulder, is personal."
 
 "Tell me." Mulder demanded.

 "Agent Scully requested that I not tell you, Agent Mulder.  I
can't say that I agree with her decision on this, but I will respect it."
Skinner told him.

 "Fine"S Mulder said flatly and stood up.  He was mad.  No, more
than mad.  He was furious.  What had he done to drive her away?  And why
had she felt it necessary to sneak off behind his back?

 "Is that all?" he asked.  His back was already turned to the
Assistant Director.

 When Skinner said yes, Mulder stalked out and slammed the door
behind him.  This was definitely turning into an awful day.
 
 

 Mulder pushed the call button for the elevator.  He waited for
about ten seconds, and then pressed it again, and again, and again.
Mulder gave up in irritation and headed for the stairs.

 He ran up the stairs two at a time.  He reached the landing and
burst through the door into the hallway.  Mulder reached the apartment
door he wanted and pounded none too gently on the wood.

 Mulder waited for almost a minute.  There was no answer, and he
tried again.  When he still received no answer, Mulder dug around in his
pocket and came up with his keys.  He unlocked the door with the spare
key he had been given, and let himself inside.

 "Scully?" Mulder called as he stepped inside.

 His heart fell when he saw the inside of ScullyUs apartment.
Everything was gone.  Furniture, pictures, dog, everything.  All that was
left was a piece of paper stuck to the far wall with a piece of tape.

 Mulder strode over and took the paper down.  It was a note from
Scully to him.  She knew him so well, that she had been sure he would
come here looking for her.  His heart constricted again.  Why had she
left?  What on earth was going on that she felt she couldnUt trust him
enough to tell him?

 He almost forgot about the note in the overwhelming wave of loss
that had hit him.  When he realized he was still holding the piece of
paper, he looked down at it.  He stood in the middle of what had once
been Dana Scully's apartment and read the note, which was all that he had
left of her.

 Mulder,
     I'm sorry I had to leave the way I did.  Know that my
decision was personal and had nothing to do with you.  Please don't try
to find me.  It just isn't safe right now.  Keep safe for me, and try to
be good.  I'll contact you as soon as I can.
       Scully.

 Mulder wanted to crumple the note up and throw it away.  He
couldn't, though, it was his last link to Scully.  Instead, he folded it
up carefully and placed it into his pocket.

 Mulder took one last look around at the empty apartment, then
turned and walked out.

*****

Dana Scully woke up slowly.  She was sleeping on a couch, but it
wasn't her couch, and this wasn't her apartment.  For a few seconds she
was disorientated, and then she realized that she was at her mother's.
This was her mother's house, and that was her mother's ceiling and she
was going to be okay.  Well, relatively so at least.

 She slowly became aware of the music playing in the background.
She had fallen asleep to Bach, but this was something else.  It sounded
New Agish.  Probably something that Missy had given their mom at some
point.  Mom must have left it in the C.D. player, and Dana hadn't noticed
it when she put her Bach on.  The music ended and a new song began.

In a dream you will see, darkness calls your name.
All alone you are lost in a perilous game.

There are times in your life, you must face a choice.
You will find what you need, listen to the voice.

In the dark you can run from the shadows of the night.
In the end you will find that you are standing in the light.

When you cry from the pain, tears will set you free.
Search inside for the voice, you will find the key.

If you run from yourself, you will only lose.
When you find you are lost, seek the Stone of Truth.

In your blood is the fire, let them cry your name.
You will not be alone, in your worlds of flame.

You are free, you can be, you can live the fantasy.
All the dreams in your heart, you will always be.

 Dana almost cried.  She couldn't believe how much the song was
about her life.  The perilous game was the X-Files.  She had been lost
somewhere in there for almost three years now.  And what was she doing
now besides running, most especially from herself?  She swallowed hard
and managed to hold the tears at bay.

 She had to pull herself together.  She had to be strong, to get
her life back on track here.  And the last thing she needed was to start
crying right now, besides it would only worry her mother, who was all
ready frantic for her daughter.  Most of all she had to figure out what
she wanted to do now.

 "Dana, honey, come and eat some lunch," Margaret Scully said
softly as she came into the living room.

 "I'm not hungry, Mom," Dana replied and closed her eyes.  She
just didn't think she could eat right now.  Her stomach was a knot and
she had no appetite anyhow.

 "Dana, you have to eat.  You didn't eat breakfast, and I won't
have you skipping two meals in a row, it just isn't good for the baby.
You are the doctor, you should know that better than anyone." Margaret
Scully's voice was still soft and gentle, but Dana knew that her mother
meant business.  Dana had a funny feeling that if she didn't go eat, her
mother would bring the food out there and feed Dana herself.

 And the baby, the baby was why she had left.  There was no way
that Dana Scully should be pregnant.  The last time she had actually had
sex was so long ago that she could barely even remember it, or so it
seemed sometimes.  It wasn't possible, and she would have been the first
one to say so herself, if she hadn't personally seen the ultrasounds.

 Mulder would have demanded to know who the father was.  And Dana
would have had to tell him the truth, that she really didn't know where
this child had come from.  Mulder, of course, would assume that 'they'
had done something to her, and would go off on a wild chase to find out
exactly what had happened.

 Questions, investigations, and more questions.  Accusations, and
suspicions.  Wild chases, and leads that led nowhere.  She couldn't
handle any of that right now, and that was what Mulder was going to turn
this pregnancy into for her, if she told him about it.
 
 Her mother was a whole different story, though.  She hadn't yet
asked Dana who the father was.  Dana knew that her mother trusted that
her daughter would tell her when she was ready.  Dana knew her mother
wouldn't wait forever, though, and she was worried so much about her.

 "Yes, Mom," Dana sighed and got up from the couch.

 Lunch turned out to be grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato
soup.  It was one of Dana's favorites from when she was a kid, and her
mother knew that.

 Dana smiled and sat down at the table across from her mother.
Trust her mom to try to pamper her.  Mom was still being Mom, and always
would be, no matter how old Dana got.  Dana was glad for that right now.

 "How are you feeling, dear?" Margaret asked her daughter after a
while.

 "Fine, Mom," Dana told her.

 "Are you sleeping well?"

 Dana knew that her mother had heard her tossing and turning all
night and was worried about her now.  Dana could understand her motherUs
concern, too.  The fact was that her only remaining daughter was pregnant
and wouldn't say who the father was.  And that same daughter had just
quit her job, which she absolutely loved, for reasons that she wouldn't
discuss.

 "I'm okay, Mom, really.  IUm just a little tired."

 "Of course you're tired, dear.  You're three months pregnant, and
your life is in turmoil.  I'd be more concerned if you weren't tired."
Dana's mother told her.
 
 "Fox phoned this morning, Dana," Margaret said after a few minutes.

 Dana's head snapped up.  She had known that he would phone sooner
or later.  That damn man, why couldn't he just let her do this and go on
with his life?  Why couldn't he just accept that what she had done was
for the best?

 "He wanted to know if I knew where you were."

 "What did you tell him?" Dana asked her mother carefully.  She
didn't want to sound too worried.

 "I told him that I didn't know where you were.  I don't think he
believed me, though.  He sounded so concerned, Dana.  Why are you hiding
from him?"

 "I...," Dana began and stopped.  How could she explain this to
her mother in a way that would make sense?  "It's just safer for everyone
this way.  I need to be out of the FBI and as far away from the X-Files
as possible right now."

 "Dana, is Fox...," Margaret trailed off and Dana looked up
sharply at her mom.  She saw a lot of worry in her mother's face, worry
and love.

 "What, Mom?"

 "The father, Dana?" her mother asked and then rushed on before
her daughter could say anything, "Because if he is, you have to tell
him.  It isn't fair not to, you know that don't you?"

 "Of course he isn't, Mom!  Whatever gave you that idea?"  Dana
exclaimed.  But she knew what had given her mother that idea.  Mulder and
her had one of the closest partnerships in the Bureau.  They were much
closer than most partners, and they both knew it.  And there had been
rumours going around about them for, well for ever.

 It wasn't as if Dana wasnUt attracted, either.  She just didn't
admit it to herself most of the time.  She had no idea how Mulder felt,
and it really didn't matter anyway, because it was strictly against
Bureau policy for partners to get involved.  She wasn't in the Bureau
anymore, though.

 No, Dana, she told herself, you are distancing yourself for a
reason here.  Mulder's important to you, but this child has to be more
important.  Whoever did this to you, this baby is yours now, and 'they'
are not getting it back, not now and not ever.

 And that was the thing.  That was why she had to be so far away
from Washington, and the Bureau, and 'them' as possible when she had this
baby.  And she would probably always be in hiding with this child.
Whoever, or whatever had put it inside of her was going to want it back
eventually and Dana Scully had no intention of ever giving it back, no
matter what.

 "Dana, honey, are you okay?" her mother asked her.

 Dana realized that her mother must have asked her something and
been waiting for an answer.  She had been so lost in her own thoughts
that she hadn't even heard it.

 "Yeah, Mom.  I'm sorry, what did you say?"

 "It's just....  Dana, Fox is so worried about you.  I could tell
from the tone in his voice that he just isnUt going to let this go.  Not
until he finds you, at least.  Maybe you should just phone him and let
him know that you are okay."  Margaret Scully suggested to her daughter.

 "I can't, Mom.  I just can't right now.  It's better this way, it
really is."

 "Okay, Dana, but I really don't know how long you can keep him at
a distance  like this."  Margaret told her.  Dana didn't know either.

*****

The next day at eleven Dana Scully was at the doctor's office.
It was just a routine checkup to see how her pregnancy was going.  Dr.
Steinburg was going to do an ultrasound, to make sure that the baby was
developing normally and that everything was okay.  Dana couldn't help but
be anxious about what might be found.
 
 Gabriella Steinburg had been Dana's doctor since she was a kid.
When Dana had told her that she was pregnant, Dr. Steinburg had been
overjoyed for her.  Dana hadn't told Dr. Steinburg about any of the
unusual circumstances surrounding this pregnancy, however.

 "So, Dana, how are we feeling today?" Dr. Steinburg asked when
she entered the examination room.

 "Not bad.  I'm quite tired, though.  That's pretty normal, so
other than that I guess I'm fine."

 "Oh, I just love having doctors as patients," the older woman
said and smiled softly, "If you're feeling that tired, Dana, perhaps we
should run some blood tests just to make sure that you really are okay."

 "I'm fine Dr. Steinburg, really.  I just need some more rest."
Dana protested.

 "Well, if you feel that strongly, Dana.  Let's just get a look at
that baby, okay?"

 Dana just nodded.  She hopped onto the examination table and
pulled her clothing around to reveal her belly.  She was so small that
the baby was already beginning to show.  Dana ran her fingers over the
slight hump of her stomach possessively.  This was hers and no one was
ever going to take it away.  Dr. Steinburg had the ultrasound set up in a
few minutes.

 She ran the ultrasound around Dana's belly.  On the monitor, Dana
could see the small child, and she smiled.  Dr. Steinburg was watching as
well.

 "Hum, whatUs that?" the older doctor asked suddenly and moved the
probe back to what she had seen.  Dana didn't know much about
ultrasounds, especially those of babies, so she wasn't exactly sure what
they were looking at.

 "What's wrong?" Dana asked.  She was beginning to panic.  What if
the baby wasn't even human?  What if Dr. Steinburg found out?  What would
she do?

 "Well it may be just a shadow on the ultrasound, but I'd like to
run some tests just to make sure."  Dr. Steinburg told her.

 Dana nodded in agreement, and Dr. Steinburg filled out a lab form
requesting a blood sample from Dana and a sample of the placental fluid
from the baby.  The form was called into the lab while Dana was still
there, and an appointment was set up for the next day.

 "Now, don't you worry, Dana.  I'm sure that everything is just
fine." Dr. Steinburg told her.  Dana nodded and wished that she could be
that sure.
 
 

 Fox Mulder arrived at Margaret Scully's house just after Dana had
left for her doctor's appointment.  Margaret know who it was as soon as
he started pounding on the door when she didn't immediately answer his
ring.  Margaret smiled softly at his behaviour.  She knew that he cared
deeply for her daughter and that Dana was worrying him to no end.

 "Hello, Fox," Margaret greeted him as she answered the door.

 When she saw the man in the doorway, she was taken back.  He
looked terrible.  Oh, he was the impeccably dressed FBI man, but the dark
circles under his eyes and his tire stance gave him away instantly.
Margaret wondered when it was that he had last slept, and didn't think it
had been within the last twenty four hours.

 "Mrs. Scully, can I come in please?" Mulder asked softly.  She
could hear the weariness in his voice, and her heart went out to him.
Why her daughter was doing this to him, she wasn't sure.

 "Yes, of course, Fox," Margaret said and let the man into her
home.  She closed the door behind him and ushered him over to the couch.
He sat down and looked up at her with eyes so full of pain that she had
trouble speaking for a minute.

 "How are you holding up, Fox?"  Margaret asked him when she found
her voice.

 "You know where she is, don't you?"  Mulder asked her.  His eyes
pleaded with her to tell him yes, to tell him that Dana was safe.

 "Yes, I do, Fox.  She's okay, really she is.  I'm not sure why
she doesn't want you to find her, but I'm sure she has her reasons."
Margaret Scully really felt for Mulder.  Dana was not treating him
fairly.  He was hurting a lot.

 "Is she staying here?" he asked softly.

 "No, Fox, she isn't," Margaret lied to him.  She hated lying at
the best of times, but this was one of the worst times she could think
of.

 "Okay," Mulder said sharply and stood up.  He knew she had lied
to him, Margaret could tell that from his tone and the way her was
holding himself now.  "Please, you have to promise me that if anything,
and I mean anything, happens to her that you will phone me.  I...,  Mrs.
Scully, I'm so worried.  I realise that I've done something that she
canUt forgive me for.  I know she doesn't want to speak to me.  I...,
could you just tell her that I'm sorry, please?  I'll leave her alone if
that's what she wants, but I just have to know that she's okay."

 Margaret Scully couldn't say anything around the lump that had
gathered at the back of her throat.  She swallowed hard and bit back
tears.  She took a minute, so that she wouldn't say anything that would
betray her promise to her daughter not to tell Mulder where she was.  By
the time Margaret Scully had pulled herself together enough to speak, Fox
Mulder had already walked out the door.
 
 Margaret moved to the door after him and looked out just in time
to see the tall man get into his car and drive off.

 Margaret just stood there and shook her head.  Oh, Dana, he loves
you so much, why are you doing this to him?  Margaret wondered.

 Couldn't Dana see what she was doing to that poor man?  He was so
tortured all ready,a and now he was convinced that Dana hated him, that
he had somehow hurt her beyond all forgiveness.  It was hard just to
watch them.
 
 

 Dana's test results came in a week later.  She hadnUt wanted to
find out what they said at first.  When she had found Dr. Steinburg's
message on the machine, she had contemplated not calling back at all.
Her mother had finally made her, though.

 It turned out that what Dr. Steinburg had seen really had been a
shadow, after all.  Mother and baby were doing fine.  Dr. Steinburg
suggested that Dana take some vitamins to help stave off the weariness,
but other than that, everything appeared normal.

 Dana Scully couldn't believe how relieved she felt.  She had been
so worried about what the test would show.  It was, in fact, all that she
had thought about for the proceeding week.  But her baby was fine, and
she was fine and that was all that mattered right now.

 Dana's mother had told her about Mulder's visit.  Strangely he
hadnUt tried to contact her since then.  She wondered exactly what her
mother had said to Mulder that had made him realise that she was going to
be okay without his intervention.  Whatever it was, it had worked.
Someday he would see that this was for the best.

 Scully was leaving her mother's house in a week, though.  She had
already told her mother that.  Margaret jut couldn't understand why her
daughter needed to leave and had begged with her to stay.  Dana had
refused to in the end, though.  She just couldn't stay, not when staying
could put her mother in danger.

 When her mother had asked her where she was going, all Dana could
say was North and West.  That was actually all Dana knew herself at this
point.  Basically she planned to get in her car and drive as far as she
could.  She'd stay there for a time before moving on again.  She wanted
to be out of the country when this child was born.  It would give 'them'
and their government one less hold on the baby, and Dana wanted them to
have as few as possible.

*****

Six Months Later

 Dana Scully knew she was in labour.  She had put off going to the
hospital for as long as she was going to be able to.  She stood up slowly
and crossed the room to the phone.  She barely made it without hunching
over in pain.  She had known this would hurt, but this was ridiculous.

 Dana eventually made it over to the phone.  She dialled a number
that was had posted by phone only days ago.  The number was that of a cab
company.  There was just no way she was going to be able to get herself
to the hospital in one piece.

 "Good afternoon, Advance Cabs, Jon speaking." A young sounding
man answered the phone.

 "I need a cab," Dana managed to say into the phone.  Her labour
was progressing faster than a he had expected and the contractions were
all within a minute of each other now.

 "Okay," Jon said and Dana could almost hear him laughing at her
statement of the obvious.  Damn him anyway, she was in enough pain to
make it excusable.  "Where are you Ma'am?"

 "I'm at 2495 Macdonald," Dana told him.  The words came out
sharply as another contraction hit her.

 "Okay, Ma'am, someone will be there in about five minutes." Jon
told her.

 "Thank you," Dana told him and then set the phone back in its
cradle.  She sighed and whipped her forehead.  Even standing here was
beginning to be an effort.

 Dana managed to make it to the bedroom, where she had left the
bag that she had already packed for the hospital.  She grabbed that bag
and her coat and made her way outside.  She was standing on the curb when
the cab pulled up.

 The cab stopped and the driver stepped out.  He was middle aged
and balding slightly.  His skin was the colour of strong coffee and his
teeth shone in his face when he smiled at Dana.

 "Hello," he said cheerfully as he came around the cab to help
Dana with her things.  "My name's Bill, Bill Williamson and...," he
broke off when he saw Dana stumble under the weight of her bag and the
force of her next contraction.  Bill reached out and kept Dana from falling.

 "You're in labour, aren't you?" Bill asked, his eyes twinkling
mischievously.

 "Yes," Dana whispered.  She wasn't sure where her voice had gone,
but for some reason all of the sudden it wasn't there.

 "Well, no time for small talk then, let's get going," the man
exclaimed.  He took Dana's bag from her and placed it on the floor in the
back.  Then he took Dana's hand and helped her into the front seat of the
cab.

 "What hospital are we headed for?" Bill asked when he was behind
the wheel.

 "The closest one," Dana said from behind clenched teeth.  Bill
nodded and smiled slightly, then put the cab in gear.

 "This your first, Ma'am?" Bill asked her.

 "Yes, it is, and my name's Dana," Dana told him.  She tried to
smile at the friendly man, but it was becoming hard.

 "So, where's this little one's father, Dana?" Bill asked.

 "I don't know," Dana admitted.

 "Oh, so it's like that.  My sister's first was like that, too.
As soon as she told him, he split.  Damn men, they always seem to hurt
the nicest girls," Bill told her.

 Dana had to smile.  This one was a real gentleman, that was for
sure.  You sure didnUt find any like him anymore.

 The conversation carried on in much the same way until they
reached the hospital.  Bill pulled right up front to the no parking zone
and parked.  Dana thanked him and paid him.

 "Thank you, Dana.  Would you like me to help you inside?" Bill
asked her.  Dana just nodded her acceptance.

 Bill came around and helped Dana out of the cab.  He grabbed her
bag from the back seat.  Bill supported her into the hospital.

 A nurse met them just inside the doors.  Her name tag read
Riley.  She took Dana from Bill and helped her into a wheelchair.  Bill
handed Dana her bag, and then they said good bye to each other again.

 "Miss?" the nurse asked Dana as soon as Bill had left.

 "Dr," Dana corrected her.  "Dr. Dana Scully."

 "Well, Dr. Scully," the nurse said, "we have to get you admitted
before we can do anything."

 Dana just nodded.  Bureaucracy was the same everywhere, she guessed.

 The nurse led Dana into a little cubical with a small desk.  She
sat Dana on one side of the desk and she took the other.

 Nurse Riley pulled a white form from out of her desk and set it
before her.  She started asking Dana questions and filling out the form.
Full name?  Marital Status?  Permanent Address?  Age?  Occupation?
Allergies?  When the nurse asked Dana for her Care Card number, Dana
could only stare at her dumbly.  Care Card, what on earth was a Care
Card?  And then it dawned on Dana and she pulled out her medical
insurance card.  The nurse took one look at the American card and sighed.

 "Dr. Scully, you should have told me that you were American.  Now
we have to fill out a different form."

 Dana just sighed and shook her head in annoyance.

 It felt like hours before she was actually in a delivery room.
She remembered mumbling something about being an FBI agent and that her
baby needed special protection.  And then she remembered nothing but
pain, until the cry that signalled new life broke through the fog in her
mind.

 The nest thing Dana knew the pain was gone and she had a small
squirming and crying baby on her chest.  Dana reached up to touch her
child, almost afraid that she would break the precious baby.  Dana put
her hand on its back.  The child moved its head in response to Dana's
touch and Dana saw the child's eyes.  Green, bright forest green.  Now
where had those come from?

 Dimly Dana realized that someone was trying to talk to her.

 "What?" Dana asked the woman standing at her bedside.

 The woman stopped and smiled down patiently at Dana.  Obviously
she was used to dealing with new mothers.

 "I said, Dr. Scully, that you have a little girl.  She's pretty
small, though, so we're going to have to make sure that she is okay.  Is
she at all premature?" the nurse asked.  When Dana shook her head, the
nurse looked confused for a minute and then continued on, "Ah, well it
might just be that you yourself are so small Dr. Scully.  In any case we
just want to make sure that your little girl is all right."

 Dana nodded and handed the child over reluctantly.  She was very
small, Dana saw now, but in spite of that she looked just perfect to
Dana.  Looking at the child, you would never be able to guess at the
strange circumstances surrounding her conception.

 "Someone will be in shortly to see to the birth certificate
forms," the nurse told Dana and then turned to leave.

 Dana nodded again again and watched as the nurse walked out with
her little girl.  Dana fell asleep almost instantly.  Her sleep was
filled with disturbing dreams.  Awful dreams where black shadowy figures
came and stole her baby away in the night, or where her baby grew up and
became on of those black shadowy figures herself.

 Dana was running through the house searching desperately for her
daughter.  She opened doors to rooms frantically and looked inside, but
couldn't find the girl.  Where was she?  Why couldn't Dana find her?

 "Mother?" came the voice from behind Dana.  That voice, it was
too hard for a child, too callous.  Yet Dana knew it was her daughter.

 Dana turned around slowly, not sure what she was going to see
standing there.  the little girl was now about eight.  Her red hair
flowed unkept over her shoulders and down her back, and her green eyes
flashed.  In the child's hand was a gun; Dana's gun.

 "Melissa, give that to me right now," Dana said sternly.  She
took a step towards the girl.

 "I don't know, Mother," the small child said and lifted the gun
up.  She took it in both hands, turned it over and examined it.  She
brought it up and aimed the weapon at Dana.  "Maybe I should just kill
you.  You do realise that's what I was sent to do, don't you?  I kill you
and Fox comes running, then I'll kill him, too.  Don't you see?  Who
would you trust more than you're own child?  they never wanted me back,
Mother.  You played right into their hands and you never even guessed at it."

 Dana heard the safety being taken off the gun.  She watched
frozen in spot as the little girl readjusted her shot.  And then Dana saw
the trigger being pulled, and saw the barrel moving.

 "No!" Dana yelled and sat straight up in bed.  She was
disoriented.  The dream had been so real, so vivid.  It had become
reality while Dana was in it.

 She heard a clatter from somewhere nearby and a slight cry.  Dana
suddenly became aware that she was in the hospital.  She looked to where
the clatter had come and saw a woman in a suit bending over to pick up a
clipboard.

 "Are you all right, Dr. Scully?" the woman asked when she had
straightened herself.

 "Yes, I'm fine.  I just had a bad dream," Dana replied hastily.

 "Are you sure?  It will only take a minute to summon someone."

 "Yes, I'm quite sure.  I'm going to be just fine," Dana insisted.

 "All right then," the woman said.  "My name is Joan Roberts, I've
brought the forms you have to fill out.  They're pretty straight
forward.  If you have any questions I'll be right here."  The woman
handed the forms to Dana and took a chair next to the bed.

 The woman was right.  The forms were straight forward.  She
filled out all fo the information about herself quickly.  Then she came
to the information about the father.  Dana was going to write in unknown,
and then stopped herself right before she could.

 What if something happened to her?  What if she was killed, who
would get this child then?  Her mother?  Her mother had nothing to do
with this.  It wouldn't be fair to bring her into danger.  The child
needed to be protected and Dana made up her mind quickly.  Dana wrote Fox
Mulder in the blank and filled in the relevant information.

 When Dana came to the child's name, she hesitated only a minute
before writing in Melissa Samantha Scully.  Dana stared at the ink drying
on the page in satisfaction and motioned the woman over.

 The woman took the forms back and read over them.  She frowned
when she reached Mulder's name and turned to Dana.

 "Is this...," the woman started.

 "His real name?" Dana asked with a slight laugh, "Yes, it is."

 "Does he get asked that  a lot?"

 "Occasionally."

 "Okay, then everything seems to be in order, Dr. Scully.  We'll
get the forms processed today and we should issue a certificate in a
couple weeks."

 Dana nodded and thanked the woman.  When she was gone, Dana
sighed and laid back down.  She couldn't help but wonder if she had made
the right decision about keeping this child.

*****

Fox Mulder sighed.  He had just driven off his sixth partner in
as many months.  Skinner was not going the be a happy man.  Okay, face
it, Skinner was going to be down right furious.  But Mulder couldn't help
it, and this last guy had been a real ass.  It was just that no one would
ever be able to take Scully's place.

 Scully.  Just thinking her name caused Mulder's heart to break.
He still didn't know why she had left him, only that she had.  And that
hurt more than if he ever could had imagined it would.  It was almost as
bad as when Samantha had been taken, except that Scully had a choice.
She had chosen to leave him.

 The first two months had been hell, plain and simple.  He knew
that his performance at work was slipping, not a lot, but enough to make
a difference.  Skinner had called him on it, and Mulder had mumbled
something about getting his act together, but he hadn't really cared.

 And then he and Agent Chan, his partner at the time, had been in
Seattle on a case.  Mulder had the guy, and then Mulder had lost his
concentration for a moment, and the guy had wrenched himself free.  He
had pulled a gun and shot Chan point blank in the chest.  Chan had lived,
barely, and it was found that Mulder had done nothing wrong.  In Mulder's
mind, though, it was all his fault.  And that was when he had pulled it
together, because it was either that or leave the Bureau for good.  No
one else was going to get hurt because Scully had left him and Mulder
couldn't deal with that.

 He had still been impossible to work with, Mulder knew that, but
at least he was safe to be around.  The truth was that he didn't want to
be easy to work with.  He didn't want a new partner, he wanted Scully.

 Mulder knew that Adams was up there with Skinner right now,
telling the Assistant Director how awful Mulder was to work with.  How
Mulder believed in UFOUs and aliens, and werewolves, and all sorts of
similar varieties of impossible things.  About Mulder insisting that
every crime, no matter how small, was committed by aliens, or the
infamous 'them' of the Conspiracy.  About that stupid X on the road trick
that he kept pulling, and that Skinner was tired of hearing about.  About
how Mulder would 'space out' and would be gone for hours without number
into his own world.

 Mulder didn't care, though.  All this would generate would be a
reprimand and a new partner.  The reprimand he could deal with, he had
many times before.  The new partner he wasn't so sure about.

 Mulder stood up and grabbed his jacket.  He might as well go
home, he was done for the day, anyway.  He could deal with Skinner in the
morning.
 
 

 Michael Halpurn had been watching the nursery for over half an
hour now from the lounge across the hallway.  No one even noticed him, or
if they did they didn't question his right to be there.  But then they
were probably used to people waiting around in there.  Whatever the
reason it suited Michael just fine, he didnUt want to be noticed anyhow.
Now if only he could get that nurse distracted so that he could get the
kid and get out of there.

 He was formulating a plan of action when the nurse suddenly
walked out of the room and left.  Bathroom?  Maybe.  No matter, it was
the opening he had been waiting for.  Michael walked casually across the
hallway and into the nursery.  He walked down the rows of babies, reading
the name cards slipped into the holders at the ends of the little beds.
He finally found the name he had been looking for - Melissa Samantha
Scully.  He picked up the little girl, careful not to wake her and
slipped her into the carrier he had brought.  No one stopped him.
 
 

 Fox Mulder was just drifting off to sleep when his phone rang.  "Damn
phone," Mulder mumbled and managed to know it off the table in his attempt
to grab it.  He fished on the floor for a moment, and eventually came up
with it.

 "Mulder," he grunted into the phone.

 "Fox?" asked  a woman's voice.

 Margaret Scully.  It had to be.  She was the only person who
actually called him by his given name although he had asked her
repeatedly not to.

 "Mrs. Scully?" Mulder mumbled.

 "Fox, Dana," Margaret began.  She sounded frantic and it set off
every warning signal in Mulder's brain.

 "Is Scully okay, Mrs. Scully?  Has she been hurt?" Mulder suddenly
snapped into the phone.  He was so tense.  His hand that was holding the
phone had turned white because of the force of his grip.

 "Fox, Dana, the reason she left....  Fox, she was pregnant."

 "Pregnant?!" Mulder almost choked.  How the hell had something
like that happened.  Okay, he knew how it had happened.  But Scully?  She
hadnUt even been seeing anyone.

 "Someone's taken the baby, Fox.  She needs you.  You have to go
to her." Margaret Scully told him.

 "Taken the baby," Mulder repeated, as if he just couldnUt
comprehend what he was hearing properly.  He couldn't quite grasp it.
And then instantly he did.  This had something to do with the X-Files, he
just knew it.  Someone hadn't liked her involvement and had decided that
this was fitting revenge.

 "Yes, Fox.  Please, you have to go to her.  I can't get there
right away.  I have to stay behind and deal with the family.  Please.
I'll be on the next flight, but I don't want her to be alone any longer
than she has to be."

 "Where is she?" Mulder asked.  Mrs. Scully told him and four
hours later he was on a transcontinental flight to Vancouver.
 
 

 It was raining when his plane landed.  Not just a little rain,
either, it was definitely a down pour.  Mulder scowled at the offending
weather.  Typical, he thought, I would forget my umbrella.  But how was
he to know?  It had been snowing in Washington when he left.

 Mulder headed down to baggage claim.  While he was waiting for
the bags from his flight to come down, he went and rented a car.  That
being done, he went back to baggage claim and waited as patiently as he
could for his bag to come down.

 It took Mulder an hour and a half to get from the airport to the
hospital.  He only got lost once, though.  He took the wrong exit, ended
up on the highway, and had to double back.  By the time Mulder arrived at
Vancouver General, he was not a happy man.  Mulder went straight up to
maternity and to the nurseUs desk.

 "Hi," he said catching the attention of one of the nurses, "I'm
here to see Dana Scully, can you tell me what room she's in."

 "I'm sorry, sir.  She's not receiving visitors right now," the
nurse told Mulder.

 "Look," Mulder said, "her mother sent me to see her.  I just
spent six hours on a flight and another hour and a half trying to get
here from the airport.  I'm going to see her," Mulder said.

 "I'm sorry, sir.  It doesn't matter who you are or how far you
have travelled.  Unless you're family I can't even begin to think of
letting you in to see her.  Now, are you family?"

 "No, not really," Mulder mumbled.  How he wished, and not for the
first time either, that he was family.  That he had some permanent tie to
Dana Scully.  Oh god, how hard it was to be in the same building as her,
and not be able to see her.

 "Then sir, I'm sorry.  I can't let you in to see her.  If you'll
leave you're name, though, I'll make sure that she knows you came by."

 "Fine," Mulder mumbled unhappily.  The nurse grabbed a piece of
paper and looked up at him expectantly.  "Fox Mulder," Mulder said, Rshe
knows the number.  If she wants to talk I'll be in town for the next
couple of days."

 "Oh my god," the nurse exclaimed.

 "What?" Mulder asked quickly.  He was instantly ready to deal
with trouble.  He looked around quickly.  What was going on?

 "You're the father!"

 "The father?" Mulder asked confused.  What the hell was she
talking about?  He wasn't anyone's father.  Well, not that he knew of anyway.

 "Well, it's your name on the birth certificate.  I remembered
because of how strange the name was.  We were all wondering if it was
real or if she had just made it up."  The nurse told him.  She saw his
face, and continued on, "You are the father, aren't you?"

 "Yes, of course," Mulder told her.  he wasn't sure what Scully
was playing at here, but whatever it was he wasn't going to undermine
it.  Well, not until he understood exactly what it was at least.

 "Well, why didn't you say so?  We'll take you in right away," the
nurse promised.  She came around the desk and escorted him down the
hallway to Scully's room.

 She stopped at one of the doors and opened it slowly.  She looked
at the woman inside and then at Mulder, "She's asleep.  Try to let her
rest for a while longer, she really does need it."  Mulder nodded his
compliance and the woman left.

 Mulder let the door close slowly behind him.  He leaned back
against it and stared at the small woman on the bed.  She looked so
tired, so frail.  Mulder wanted to go gather her up in his arms and hold
her, forever.  He just wanted to be able to make everything all right, to
make all of the pain go away.

 What on Earth had happened to Scully?  Rape?  It was the only
thing her could think of that would account for both the pregnancy and
the way she had run.  But why hadnUt she felt she could tell him?  Wasn't
he supposed to be her best friend, the one she could tell everything to?
What had he done to lose that trust?  And why had she run so hard and so
far?  And why was she here?

 Oh Scully, he thought, why didn't you tell me?  We could have
worked through this together.  I would have understood.  You could have
trusted me.  No matter what had happened you could have trusted me.

 "Mulder?" Scully asked, her voice barely more than a whisper.

 "Yes," he answered.  Mulder hadn't even realized that she was
awake.  Now he moved to the side of her bed and looked down at her.

 "How did you find me?" Scully asked him.

 "Your mom phoned me.  I made her promise that if anything
happened to you that I would be the first person she called.  She'll be
here on the next flight up." Mulder told Scully.

 Scully closed her eyes, and when she opened them again they were
shinning with unshed tears, "My baby, Mulder, my little girl.  They took
her.  I tried so hard to make her safe and it didn't work.  Six months of
running and they still found us."  And then she was crying.  Tears rolled
down her face and hard sobs wracked her body.

 "Scully we're, I'm, going to make it okay.  We, you and me,
together, we'll find her.  I promise you." Mulder promised her.  He took
her hand with one of his and then used his other to wipe he tears away.

 "I should have been able to protect her, Mulder," Scully managed
to choke out.

 "Scully you can't blame yourself for this.  There's nothing you
could have done to stop this." Mulder tried to tell her.  His hand was
one her face and he was using his thumb to brush her tears away.  Her
tears were slowing down and her breathing becoming normal again, but
Mulder knew she didn't feel any better.  She was just pulling herself
together and getting ready to put on her strong face.

 "You don't understand, Mulder.  I knew something like this was
going to happen.  I knew 'they' would want this child back.  I should
have been watching her more carefully." Scully told him.

 "What do you mean 'they' wanted her back, Scully?" Mulder asked
concerned.  He was confused.  Mulder was pretty sure that the 'they' she
was referring to were those individuals in the government who wanted to
shut down the X-Files; the Conspiracy.  But 'wanted this child back' what
did that mean?

 Scully opened her mouth to answer, but she never actually got a
chance to say anything.  There was a soft noise at the door and then it
began to open slowly.  Mulder whipped around and grabbed for his gun.
The gun that had been left in Washington because there was no way he
could have gotten it past Canadian Customs, not when he had to go through
metal detectors.

 "Shit!" Mulder spat and then everything happened so fast.

 Mulder crossed the room quickly and swung the door open, hoping
to catch whoever it was off guard.  One man.  Tall, about Mulder's
height.  Heavy, but not overweight, and in a black suit.  Definitely not
a doctor.  The man saw Mulder and his hand instantly went down for
something.  A gun?  Yes.  Mulder grabbed his hand before the man could
reach the weapon.  Mulder's eyes met the other man's and fire flashed
between them.

 "Who are you?" Mulder snarled.

 "I think I should be the one asking that question," the other man
snarled back.  He broke Mulder's grip suddenly and reversed it so that he
had Mulder's arm.  The man moved suddenly and the next thing Mulder knew
he was pinned to the wall.  The man reached into Mulder's pocket and drew
out his ID.

 The man opened it and gave a surprised grunt.  He studied it for
a moment before letting Mulder go and giving it back to him.

 "Agent Mulder?"

 "Yes, now who are you?" Mulder asked dangerously.

 "I'm officer McGraw.  I've come to ask Dr. Scully some
questions.  May I ask why you are here?"

 "I...," Mulder started, but McGraw cut him off.

 "Wait," McGraw said and pulled out a small, thick note pad and
flipped pages, "You're the father."

 Mulder heard Scully groan from across the room when McGraw said
that.  She thought he didnUt know what she had done yet.

 "Yes, that's right," Mulder said smoothly.

 "Well then I'm truly sorry for having started you, Agent Mulder.
This must be a very trying time for you." McGraw apologised.  Mulder
nodded his acceptance and McGraw turned to Scully.

 "Dr. Scully," he began and moved to her bedside.  Mulder followed
behind.  "Do you feel up to answering some questions for me?"

 "I guess I have to sometime, so now is as good a time as ever,"
Scully told him.

 Scully had managed to compose herself while the men had been
scuffling.  She looked calm and in control, well as in control as one can
look in a hospital bed.  Mulder smiled encouragement at her and she
smiled back tentatively.

 "Okay.  Now, Dr. Scully.  Do you have any idea who would want to
take Melissa?" McGraw asked.

 Melissa.  Mulder smiled.  It made sense that Scully would name
her daughter after her sister.  No matter how much the two of them had
fought, Scully had really loved her sister.  Mulder idly wondered if he
would ever have a little girl to name after his sister.

 "No, I can't think of anyone," Scully lied.  Her eyes caught
Mulder's and held.  The message in them was clear - don't tell him
anything.  I'll explain later.  Mulder nodded his understanding slightly
and Scully broke the eye contact.

 "What about you, Agent Mulder?  Any enemies that would think this
fitting revenge?"

 "No," Mulder told him.  "I can't think of anyone."

 "Come on now.  In your line of work there must be someone that
doesnUt entirely like you," McGraw insisted.

 "There's no one that I can think of that would do this kind of
thing, Officer McGraw," Mulder insisted.

 McGraw grumbled and wrote something in his notebook.  He threw
Mulder a rather annoyed look and then turned back to Scully.

 "Dr. Scully, I'm sorry that I have to tell you this, but we have
very few leads to go on in this case.  We've never had a case quite like
this one before where an infant is actually taken from the hospital.  In
similar cases, though, it is more often than not some family member who
takes the child.  If you were not here, Agent Mulder, you would be at the
top of my list of suspects.'
 'Due to the fact that you're both American, we are assuming that
there's a high possibility of the child being taken out of the country.
WeUve notified all of the local border crossings and the airports, bus
lines, and train lines.  We received a very limited description of the
man we think took Melissa from a nurse on duty at the time.  She's with
the police artist right now and a sketch should be released in a few hours."

 "The press," Mulder murmured. "Shit.  I had forgotten about
them.  McGraw, is there any way you can keep them in the dark on this one?"

 "Agent Mulder, I think it would greatly benefit our investigation
for the press to be told.  It would put the public on the look out for
anything out of the ordinary."

 "Officer McGraw, you have the understand something.  Scully is
also an FBI agent and the cases we work on tend to be rather sensitive in
nature.  It would be detrimental for that work if our names were to be
released.  You can release the facts of the case, but to mention our
names would be a mistake.  I can get a formal request from an Assistant
Director of the FBI to that affect if that's what it takes to keep our
names private." Mulder told McGraw.  Mulder didn't want anyone in the
Bureau, especially their enemies, knowing about this.  And the other
problem was that if their names were released and Mulder was named as the
father, there would be repercussions.  Not that he wouldn't like to be
the father of some of Scully's babies.  No, Mulder, let's not think of
that right now.

 "No, that won't be necessary," McGraw told Mulder sharply.  "I'm
sure we'll be able to keep the press release limited to the bare
essentials, and your names will be given out on a need to know basis.
How does that sound?"

 "Great," Scully interjected.

 "Well, then I guess that's all for right now," McGraw told them.
"Here's my card in case you need to contact me."  McGraw handed his card
to Scully and then beat a hasty retreat.

 "You don't have to be so heavy handed, Mulder" Scully
reprimanded Mulder.

 "Hey, Scully, this is my child we're talking about here.  I'm
allowed to be a little heavy handed." Mulder replied.

 "We have to talk about that."

 "Yeah we do, Scully," Mulder agreed.  He was suddenly totally
serious.  He sat down in a chair and looked straight into her eyes.  "Do
you want to tell me who's child this really is?"

 Mulder wasnUt sure if he wanted an answer to that question.  No
matter how she answered it was going to be awful.  Either he was going to
have to imagine her with some other man or he was going to have to
imagine her being rapes, or some other similarly awful thing.

 "I..., I don't know, Mulder," Scully whispered.  She closed her
eyes as if in shame.

 "Oh god, Scully," Mulder said equally quietly.  He got up and
looked down at her.  She still had her eyes closed.  Mulder reached down
and touched her face.

 "Scully," he whispered, "what happened?"

 "I don't know.  One day I just felt sick.  It carried on for over
a week and I eventually went to the doctor.  I thought I had the stomach
flu.  I turned out to be pregnant.  I don't know how it happened,
Mulder."  Scully whispered.  She was shaking, Mulder could feel it.

 "Why didn't you come to me?"

 "I....  Mulder I was afraid.  Whoever, whatever put this child in
me was going to want it back.  I knew that from the first day.  I wanted
to be as far away from 'them', the ones that did this to me as possible.
The fewer people who knew about the child, the safer it would be.  And I
didnUt want this child to be used against you, not in any way."

 "Oh, Scully, that doesn't make any sense." Mulder told her.

 "Don't you think I know that Mulder?  I was scared, pregnant, and
alone.  I wasn't exactly thinking clearly."

 "You weren't alone, Scully.  You were never alone, and you never
will be, not as long as I am around.  I promise you that." Mulder
whispered.  He really meant it and he had said it with all of his heart
and soul.

 Scully sobbed and reached up to him.  Mulder complied with her
unspoken request for comfort, and wrapped his arms around her.  He held
her tightly against him and carefully lifted her up off the bed, drawing
the blankets with them.  He took a few steps over to one of the armed
chairs.  He sat down and held her tightly to him.  In response she curled
around him and finally gave way to her tears.

*****

When Margaret Scully opened the door and  walked into her daughter's hospital room she wasn't quite sure what to expect to see.  What she was greeted with, though, she would have only imagined in her fondest wishes for her daughter.  Dana and Fox were curled up together in one of the big hospital chairs.  Her daughter was wrapped tightly around her partner with her head buried in her shoulder.  They were both asleep.
  Margaret Scully marvelled at how tightly they clung to each other.  It almost looked as though they were scared to death of ever being separated.  Both of them had lost so much over their lives, maybe this was their way of holding on to each other.
  As Margaret watched, Mulder slowly woke up.  He knew she was in the room instantly and his eyes snapped open to look at her.  He nodded towards her in acknowledgment of her presence.  Mulder carefully gathered the blankets around Scully and then stood up with the small woman in his arms.  He placed her on the bed gently and slipped out of her embrace.  Dana's eyes fluttered, but did not open, and she didn't wake.  Mulder bent down and brushed her hair back off her face and smiled down gently at her.  Her turned back to Margaret and followed her out of the room.
  "How is she?" Margaret asked Mulder when they were out of the room and the door had closed behind them.
  "As well as can be expected, really.  I mean, she's pretty broken up, Mrs. Scully."
  Margaret nodded.  Fox was pretty broken up, as well.  She could see it written all over his face.  "Who do you think did this?"
  "I don't know.  I can almost guarantee that the child's in the States by now.  I want to get Scully back to Washington as soon as possible.  I don't think much can be done here.  And at least in Washington I will have my files and my connections.  This isn't the best place to be setting up to find Scully's baby."
  "And you, Fox, you're going to search for this child?" Margaret asked him.  She knew the answer, but she had to ask anyway.  If only to get it out of the table, she had to ask.
  "Yes, Mrs. Scully.  Scully and I will both look for this child.  I just can't leave her out there alone with 'them'.  And I won't let Scully go through what I did, the years of searching and looking into the face of every passing child of the right age and wondering 'is that her?', the years of just not knowing what has really happened."  Mulder told Margaret.  His eyes were full of pain for himself, for Dana, for Melissa and Samantha, but his voice never faltered.
  "Oh, Fox, my poor children," she said and gently took Mulder's hand in her own.  The man looked down at her and she caught his eye before continuing, "Will you ever stop being hurt?"
  Mulder jerked back momentarily, but Margaret had a good hold on his hand and it never slipped out of her grip.  She knew she had startled him by including him as one of her children.  Margaret would always hold a special place in her heart for this tormented man, but as long as he was Dana's best friend, and possibly some day more, he was definitely one of her children.  She wondered if he would ever understand that.  Would he ever be able to see that sometimes families aren't born into, but rather found along the road?  She truly hoped so, for both his and Dana's sakes.
  "My poor Fox," she whispered.  Margaret reached up and touched his cheek.  It brought his gaze back to her from where it had wandered on the far wall.  "There's something I need to know, and I need you to tell me the truth."
  "What is it, Mrs. Scully?"
  "Are you the father, Fox?" Margaret asked softly.  She had to know.  When she had asked at the nurses desk to see her daughter, the nurses had given her the room number and had told her that the father was in with Dana as well.  That was all they had told her, they obviously assumed that she knew who the father was.  But if Fox was the father then why had Dana lied about it?
  Mulder hesitated a moment before answering.  Margaret could almost see his mind working during that silence.  What's he hiding, she wondered, but did not say anything about it.
 
  "Yes, I am," he finally answered.
  Margaret knew she should say something to him, but couldn't.  This was what she had wanted to know and she couldn't think of anyone that she would rather have as the father, but something was wrong here.  Maybe it was the way he had paused before answering her.  The way he had considered his answer.  Was he telling her the truth, or was he telling her what he thought she wanted to hear?
  "Fox," she whispered when she had decided what to do.  Margaret reached up and touched his cheek again, then she slipped her arms around him and drew him into her embrace.  "I'm so sorry."

  Dana Scully was floating.  No, she wasn't floating, she was hovering.  Where was she?  It looked like an operating room of some kind.  She didn't remember coming here.  She didn't remember anything.
   And then the door opened and a tall man walked into the room.  His hair was greying, but he was slender and Dana couldn't pin point his age.  Oh his left side, clutching his hand tightly was a little girl.  Maybe two or three.  wasn't quite sure what to expect to see.  She wasn't very old, but she had a spark in her eyes that was intelligence embodied.
 Her red-gold hair hung down her back and curled lightly at the ends.  Her eyes flashed a violent emerald green that could not be ignored.  Melissa.  Dana knew it instantly.  Her beautiful child.  Where were they?  Why were they here?  And what were they going to do to Melissa?
  The man motioned for Melissa to get on the table and the little girl complied without comment.  It was as if this whole procedure was routine and that made Dana shiver.  Melissa's eyes followed the man as he moved between the instruments in the room.  Eventually he finished whatever it was that he was doing and turned back to the child.
 He said something to Melissa that Dana couldn't hear.  In fact, Dana noticed for the first time, she couldn't hear anything.  Melissa responded to the man with words that Dana once again couldn't hear.  The man nodded slowly and then helped the girl out of her shirt.  He motioned for her to lay down and she did so.
 Dana almost cried when she saw her daughter's chest and stomach.  She had bruises almost everywhere and a long scar that ran from just below her left shoulder to the middle of her ribs.  And there were burn marks all over the child's chest.  What the hell were they doing to her?
  As Dana watched, the man hooked Melissa up to a computerised monitoring device.  He placed electrodes on her chest, clustered around her heart to measure her heart rate, and on her head to monitor her brain waves.  Melissa was just lying there letting him do it.  Even though it must have been painful with all the bruises, she didn't move.  The man took Melissa's arm in his hand.  He rubbed in the crook of her elbow to bring the vein up and then with the other hand injected a clear fluid into her arm.
  For a moment nothing happened.  And then suddenly, without warning, Melissa's eyes fluttered and her body began convulsing.  The machines monitoring her went wild.  the little girl suddenly opened her eyes as wide as they could go.  Her eyes found Dana's and locked on.  And then she screamed.  It was a scream that could only be born from pure agony.  Suddenly Scully realised that she was screaming as well.
  Dana was being shaken.  Someone was calling her name.  Then with a rush she was wide awake, and she was looking into the most beautiful hazel eyes she had ever seen.  But she was still screaming.
 
  "Scully," Mulder said and shook her again.  She couldn't focus.  The world was a blurry haze and nothing was making sense anymore.  She kept screaming and barely realised that she was doing it.   "Dana," Mulder tried again.
  This time he got through to her.  He had used her first name.  It was the strangeness of her name coming from his lips that had broken through the haze in her mind and brought her back.
  "Mulder?" Scully asked and felt a tear slide down her face.
  "I'm here.  It's okay," he told her gently.  Mulder reached out
and brushed the tear off her face softly and pulled her into his embrace.
  "It was a dream, Mulder.  Another dream, and it was awful.  I..., they....  They were doing tests on Melissa and I couldn't stop them.  I couldn't do anything.  My little girl.  Oh Mulder, my little girl." Scully held on to him tightly and cried into his shoulder.
  Mulder just held her for a long time and let her cry into his shoulder.  He made soothing noises at her and moved his hands gently through her hair.  Eventually her crying died down and she began to pull away from him.  When she did Scully felt his arms tighten around her, as if trying to keep her from pulling away, and then loosen a second later.
  "Your mother's here," Mulder told her softly.  His lips were so close to her ear that she could feel his breath on her skin.
  Scully looked over Mulder's shoulder and saw her mother.  "Mom," Scully breathed and let go of Mulder completely.  Her mother smiled gently at her and came forward.  Mulder moved out of their way.
  "Mom," Scully repeated as her mother hugged her tightly.
  "Oh Dana, I'm so sorry," Margaret Scully said gently.  The two women just held each other for the longest time and then Scully pulled away from her mother.
  "Mom, what are we going to do?"
  "Fox wants to go back to Washington," Margaret told her daughter.   Scully turned to look at Mulder.  His eyes caught hers and for a moment she was lost in his eyes.  She saw only caring and warmth and it enveloped her from across the room.  Then she turned back to her mother.
  Scully nodded, "Yes, it's time to go back.  It's time to go home."

  The next day at three-fifteen in the afternoon, Mulder, Scully,and Margaret bored a flight bound for Washington.  Scully was bundled up tightly in her jacket and a  number of sweaters.  It was the middle of winter, but it was 40 degrees out, so it wasn't the outside chill she was trying to fight off.  It was the inside chill, that part of her soul that was so cold it permeated throughout her body.
  Mulder walked beside Scully.  She was leaning on him slightly and he was supporting her without comment.  His arm was wrapped tightly around her waist to kept her from stumbling and every once in a while he said something soft to her and she responded quietly.
  Margaret Scully was following behind them.  She wanted to help her daughter, but at the same time she didn't want to invade the personal space she shared with Mulder.
  They boarded the planed and quickly got themselves seated.  Mulder had booked them into business class when he had phoned and made the last minute reservations.  It was going to be a long flight and he wanted Scully to be as comfortable as possible.  Mulder helped Scully into one of the isle seats and then took the window seat next to her.  Margaret was seated in the other isle seat, directly across from her daughter.
  Mulder was trying to convince Scully to take off her jacket, but she was refusing.  He tried slipping it down over her shoulders, but she pulled it back up before he could get it off any further.  Scully glared up at Mulder with a look that would have stopped lesser men in their tracks.  Mulder, however, was used to Scully's temper.
  "I'm cold, Mulder.  I need my jacket.  And leave me alone, okay?"
  "You're not physically cold, Scully.  You're psychologically cold.  The jacket isn't going to do you any good.  And no, I won't leave you alone,"  Mulder replied.  He tried to smile at Scully, but it was hard, she was being so damned stubborn.
  "I don't care.  I want my jacket." Scully replied.
  "Scully, please.  For me?  It will make me feel better.  It's going to be a long flight and I want you to be comfortable.  We can get some blankets if you're cold.  You're going to want to take it off in an hour anyway."
  "Then I'll take it off in an hour." Scully responded.
  Mulder sighed and sat back in defeat.  She was being so stubborn and it was over such a silly issue.  Logically he knew that her behaviour was perfectly normal for someone dealing with as much as she was dealing with.  Emotionally, though, he hated it.
  A few minutes later a flight attendant came on and began explaining the safety features on the air craft.  Mulder tuned the woman out, he had already committed the speech to memory anyhow, and used the time to study his former partner out of the corner of his eye.
  She looked tired.  She was sleep-deprived and a litter thinner than she should have been.  Her hair was a slightly dimmed version of its ordinary brilliance and her blue eyes didn't dance like they normally did.  In short she looked like someone who had gone through the wars and lived to tell about it.
  But to Mulder she was still beautiful.  His beautiful Dana.  She completed his life.  Wait, where had that thought come from?  And then suddenly he realised that it was true.  She did complete his life.  How had he ever lived without her?  And as he thought about it, he realised that he really hadn't.  All those years before she had walked through his door the first time and all those months since she had walked through it the last time had been pointless and without meaning.
  Mulder wanted to reach out to Scully then and tell her what he had just discovered in those last few seconds, but he knew he couldn't.  Now was not the time to be telling her this and making things any more complicated than they already were.  She needed him as a friend and someone to lean on, and that was what he was going to give her.
  Eventually the flight attendant ended her speech and clicked off the microphone.  She sat down and buckled herself in.  Then the plane began its taxi to the runway.  Just as the plane began to speed up for takeoff, Scully's hand found his and held on tightly.  This was the part of flying that Scully hated the most, and Mulder knew that.  Even when they were in the air, Scully didn't let go of his hand.  Margaret Scully pulled out a book as soon as they were in the air.  She glanced over at Mulder and Scully to make sure they were okay.  Then she turned back to her book and began reading.  Within half an hour she was fast asleep.
  "Mulder," Scully said softly after a while.
 "Yes?"
  "I'm tired," Scully told him.  She looked up at him then and smiled softly.  Mulder nodded, "Do you want to sleep?"  "Yes."
  Mulder flagged down one of the flight attendants and asked for blankets for Scully as well as for her mother.  The man brought the blankets back quickly and Mulder thanked him.  Mulder got up for a second and covered Mrs.  Scully and then sat back down and helped Scully to arrange herself.  He pulled Scully back against him until she was leaning
on his chest.
  "Thanks Mulder, for everything." Scully mumbled and then drifted off as soon as she closed her eyes.

*****

As soon as Mulder entered his apartment, he knew something was wrong.  At first he
couldn't figure out what it was, and then it hit him.  The smell, it smelled wrong in the
apartment.  It smelled like... cigarette smoke.  Mulder had his gun out and the light on in
one smooth motion.  And then he saw the man sitting on the couch.
 
 "What do you want?" Mulder asked him coolly, never dropping his gun.

 "I don't want anything, Mr. Mulder," Cancerman told him smoothly.  "I do,
however, have something that you might want."

 "What?" Mulder asked icily and closed the door behind him with his foot.  He
kept his gun carefully trained on the older man the entire time.
 
 "Oh, I think you know.  Put the gun away, Mr. Mulder.  We're both civilized
human beings here, and we'll have no use for that." Cancerman told him.

 Mulder wasn't happy.  He didn't trust this man, not one little bit, but he knew that
if he didn't out the gun down, Cancerman would never speak.  And Mulder needed the
information that he had.  Mulder nodded and brought the gun down slowly.  He moved
over to a chair and sat down.  He placed the gun very deliberately in front of him on the
table.

 "Ah Mr. Mulder.  Your caution is tiring." Cancerman observed and brought his
cigarette up to his mouth for another drag.

 "My caution keeps me safe.  Now what is it that you wanted to tell me?"

 "Mr. Mulder I'm sure you know why I'm here.  I have knowledge about the where
abouts of a certain child.  Your child, if my friends faxed me the right birth certificate,"
Cancerman said and smirked at the last comment.  And Mulder knew that he knew
damned well that the child wasn't Mulder's.

 "What have you done with her?" Mulder demanded.

 "Ah, now it wouldn't really be fair to tell you that after my friends have gone
through so much to get it done, would it?  Lucky for you, though, they've come to realize
that you can't keep a child away from a mother who loves it as much as Dana loves that
little one.  So, they're willing to give her back."

 "You bastard, this was the plan the entire time, wasn't it?  What did you do to
Melissa?  And while we're on the topic, where exactly did Melissa come from in the first
place?"

 "Now, Mulder, how could a man of your obvious intelligence not know where
babies come from?  You see the mommy and the daddy....  Well, wait you're the daddy.
How could you forget making this child with your lovely partner?" Cancerman asked and
laughed in Mulder's face.

 Mulder was seething.  He was ready to go over and hit Cancerman so hard that he
would never know what hit him.  The only thing that stopped Mulder was the reminder
that Cancerman still hadn't told him where Melissa was being kept.

 "Where is she?" Mulder snarled.

 Cancerman looked at him for a long time and then slowly took an envelope out of
his pocket, "Inside is the location and time of the drop off.  You have to come alone, Mr.
Mulder.  If you don't, I'll personally make sure that you never see your daughter again."

 Cancerman stood up at that and headed towards the door, "Alone, Mr. Mulder.
And don't try anything stupid."  Then he let himself out.  The smoke billowed out after
him, and then the door shut.
 
 
 

 "It's too easy," Scully said simply after Mulder told her what Cancerman had told
him.

 When Cancerman had left, Mulder had opened the envelope.  Inside was one slip
of white paper.  On it was typed the time, date and place of the drop off.  Mulder didn't
know whether to believe what was written there, or if he was just walking into another
trap.

 He had debated whether or not to tell Scully of the meeting.  He had been worried
that she would insist on coming with him.  And never in a million years would Mulder
allow her to do that.  First was the fact that he had been told to come alone, and second,
this was her child and it was unlikely that she would be thinking correctly if something
were to go wrong.  But so far she hadn't even suggested coming, in fact he was beginning
to think that Scully didn't believe that 'they' would come through on their promise of
delivering Melissa at all.

 "Maybe not," Mulder told her.  He had every intention of making the rendezvous,
trap or not.

 "Mulder, think about it.  Why would 'they' take her and then not a week later offer
to give her back with no strings attached?  It has to be a trap, either that or...."

 She  had stopped herself before she could say what she was thinking.   Maybe
because it was too painful to even consider, or maybe she thought that saying it would
make it come true.  But he knew what the rest of that sentence would have been:  or else
they've done something to her.  Some sort of test or experiment and are done with her.
Or perhaps this was all an experiment from the very beginning and they just wanted to
make sure that 'their' child was developing correctly.  Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.  That's
all Scully had right now and Mulder knew that it must be driving her crazy.  He was
trying to change that for her as soon as he possibly could.

 "It's okay, Scully.  I don't think that it's a trap.  It feels right.  It doesn't feel like a
trap.  As for the rest of it, let's just concentrate on getting Melissa back right now.
Anything else can be left for later, okay?"

 "I....  Mulder, I want her back more than anything, you know that, but if I were to
lose you too, or if you got hurt trying to get her back, I would never be able to forgive
myself.  I'm worried.  I'm sorry, I know I'm being weak.  I know that you're trained to
handle this, we're both trained to handle this, but I'm scared.  I don't know what to do."

 "Scully," Mulder said as he sat down next to her and took one of her hands in both
of his, "No one's trained for what you've been put through in the last nine months, no one.
And every reaction you're having is totally natural for this kind of stress.  You have to
believe that.  It's okay to feel like you don't know what to do.  But I've got to try, Scully.  I
won't be able to live with myself if I don't at least show up.  It would be like failing you
again, and I couldn't handle that."

 Mulder looked down at their hands when he said that.  Her fingers were twined
with his.  She was holding on to him so tightly that her knuckles were going white.
Mulder knew that Scully was strong, but he was surprised by the force in her grip.  It was
as if she were trying to hold on to him for dear life.  It only made him feel all the more
responsible for her, and now Melissa's, safety.

 It had been true, what he had said.  If he didn't go to this meeting and try to get
Melissa back, he would be failing her.  Just like when 'they' had taken her the first time,
and like when she had first discovered she was pregnant with Melissa, and had felt that
she couldn't come and talk to him.  Both those times he had failed her.  He wouldn't do it
again, he couldn't do it again, he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he did.

 "Mulder, you've never failed me," Scully said softly.
 
 It broke through all the voices in his mind, and reached his soul with so much
force that he almost couldn't breath.  Because he knew that she believed it was true.  In
her opinion, he had never failed her.  How could she truly believe that after everything
that had happened, all of the times she had gotten hurt, all of the times it had been his
fault because he wasn't watching carefully enough, or he wasn't thinking properly, or he
was so caught up in his own search that he forgot to worry about her?  How could she
truly believe that?

 "I fail you all the time, Scully," Mulder said softly.  He stood up and took his
hands back from her.  "I'm going to make the meeting.  I'll call you as soon as I get back
and tell you what happened.  If after twenty-four hours you haven't heard from me, call
Skinner and tell him everything."  And then he left before she could even say anything.

 When he got back to his car, he felt one tear trickle down his cheek.  He loved her
so much, and he hurt her so much.  Leaving her had been the hardest thing he could ever
remember doing, but he knew it was the only right thing he could have done.  He was
going to get Melissa back for her, and then he was going to cut all ties.  It would keep
Melissa safe.  It would keep his enemies away from her.  It would keep Scully safe.  And
that was all that mattered for him right now.  As long as he knew that she was safe,
Mulder could spend the rest of his life without seeing her.  At least he thought so.
 
 

 Mulder glanced down at his watch again.  He was at the right place, on the right
day, and it was the right time.  So where were they?  He scowled as he looked up into the
surrounding darkness.  Where was Cancerman?  He should be here right now.  He should
be handing over Melissa.  Mulder should be going back to his apartment and calling
Scully.  He shouldn't be standing in this god forsaken place, checking his watch, and
waiting for that damn man.

 "Ah, Mr. Mulder, in a hurry are we?  That's the third time you've looked at your
watch in the last two minutes," the voice observed from behind Mulder.

 Mulder didn't quiet jump, but he felt like it.  He knew that voice instantly.
Cancerman.  Finally.  But how had he gotten behind Mulder without him noticing, and
where was Melissa?

 Mulder turned around to face the man, who was, as always, holding a smoldering
cigarette in his hand.  He smirked at Mulder slightly and raised his eyebrow.  Then he
turned around and started walking away.  Mulder had no choice but to follow him.

 They walked down a small hill and across the almost deserted parking lot until
they came to a nondescript black car.  Cancerman motioned to Mulder and then opened
one of the side doors.  Inside, in a white and blue baby carrier, was a small mewling
infant.  The  child had red hair and the greenest eyes that Mulder had ever seen and he
knew instantly that this was Melissa.  And, as he knew he would, he fell instantly in love
with the small child.

 Cancerman reached in and withdrew the child and the baby carrier from the car.
He held her out to Mulder, "Now, you realize, Mr. Mulder that you owe me something
for this.  You didn't think this would be free, did you?" Cancerman asked with mocking
laughter in his voice.

 "What do you want?" Mulder asked through clenched teeth.  He knew he wouldn't
be able to refuse Cancerman's demand.  He might have been able to before he had seen
Melissa, but know that he had seen her, know that she was in front of him, so close that
he could smell her sweet baby smell, he knew he would give Cancerman anything to
have the child.

 "Well, Mr. Mulder, we never really know, do we?  A favour, let's say.  It might
not be tomorrow, or next week, or this month, or even this year, but I will collect, you
can be sure of that.  And never forget that I can take Melissa away just as easily as I
brought her back."

 "Fine," Mulder agreed, and Cancerman handed Melissa over.

 "And one more thing," Cancerman added.

 "What?" Mulder literally growled it.

 "Stay away from your partner, Agent Mulder.  Let her have her own life, she will
be safe that way."  It was a threat and Mulder knew it.  He didn't respond, but he knew
that Cancerman knew that he had heard well enough.

 "Never forget this promise, Mr. Mulder.  You're father made a similar one and
forgot about it himself, and see how that turned out?"  Cancerman said as he slipped into
his car, and then drove away before Mulder could say anything in response.
 
 

 "I have her."

 Scully dropped the phone.  She slid down the wall to the floor and curled up into
a tight little ball and began to cry.  It was the three words that she had been craving for
ever since Melissa had disappeared, and now she felt like she couldn't deal with the
overwhelming emotions that were attached to them.  She was so relieved, she was so
happy, that she didn't know what to do about it.

 Vaguely she heard her mother rushing across the room, to make sure that she was
okay.  Margaret asked her something that she couldn't really understand and Scully
waved her away.  She saw her mother pick up the phone, and Scully knew that she was
carrying on the conversation with Mulder.  Then Scully felt her mother's arms go around
her and heard her mother cry as well.  They sat there for a number of minutes, Scully and
her mother, just holding each other and crying in relief.

 "Where are they?" Scully asked her mother eventually.

 "Hospital.  Come on, I'll drive you, I don't think you could make it on your own
right now, and anyways, I want to see my grand daughter."

 "Why are they at the hospital?  Is she hurt?" Scully asked frantically.  She didn't
think she could deal with it if 'they' had done something awful to her daughter.

 "She's fine.  Fox just wanted to make sure.  They're doing a check-up, that's all.
I'm sure she'll be fine and you'll be able to bring her home tonight." Margaret told her
daughter.

 Scully nodded.  Her mother helped her up slowly and then the two of them made
their way to the hospital.
 
 

 "Is she okay?" Scully demanded as she burst into the examination room where
they had Melissa.  Three sets of eyes turned on her almost instantly.  One set was hazel,
one set was deep almond brown, and the last set, thank god, was startling emerald green.

 The young doctor looked up from the child that he had been examining and
caught Scully's eyes.  His eyes danced, and he smiled gently at Scully.  "You must be  the
mother, Dana Scully.  And yes, your little girl is fine, Miss. Scully."  Then he tuned to
Mulder, "I'm done here.  She's fine.  I'll sign the forms and then you can be out of here."

 Scully was no longer paying attention, and she didn't even stop to correct the
other doctor on the mistake of her name, as she usually would have.  She stepped
forward, and when she reached the bed, she scooped Melissa up in her arms.

 "My little girl," she murmured and held Melissa close, "I love you so much."

 Margaret was standing directly behind Scully, trying to get a look at her newest
grandchild.  Neither of them saw or heard Mulder leave some minutes later, once the
paper work was completed and he had watched for as long as dared.  Any longer and he
might never have been able to leave that room without them.

*****

The phone rang once, twice, three times... click.

 "I'm not in right now.  Leave a message after the beep."

 The answering machine.  Again.

 "Damn you, Mulder," Scully whispered and hung up before she could leave that
or any other message.  "Why are you doing this?"

 Melissa murmured softly in her sleep, and Scully looked down at her small
daughter.  Two weeks.  She'd had Melissa back for two weeks now, and during that time
she hadn't heard one word from Mulder.  It was almost as if he had dropped off the face
of the Earth.

 He was avoiding her, that much she understood.  Why, though?  It had something
to do with Melissa, she was sure of that.  Had there been a price for her daughter, after
all?  Had Mulder bought Melissa's return with the promise that he would stay away?  Was
this distance being imposed on him, or was he doing it himself?  What if he had just
decided to cut his losses and put her out of his life?  Had she done or said something?
Was this her fault?

 *Stop it,* she told herself crossly.  *You had no hold over him.  He didn't leave
you, he simply left.  He's probably immersed in his work all ready, and so caught up in it
that he has no time to get back to you right now.*

 "Dana, honey, are you ready to go?" her mother called to her from the front room.

 "Yes, I'm coming, Mom," Dana replied.  She reached down and picked Melissa up
off the bed.

 Melissa woke up slowly and shifted slightly in Scully's arms.  She opened her
green eyes and looked up at Scully.  She gave Scully a sweet baby smile and then closed
her eyes and went back to sleep.

 Melissa never cried.  It was something that confused Scully to no end.  Sure she
made small sounds and was able to make her needs known, but she never cried.  Not
once since she had been returned to Scully, and before that only at her birth.  It wasn't
natural, Scully knew that.  Babies cried, that was simply the way of it.  So why didn't
Melissa cry?

 "Ready to go home, Sweetheart?" Scully asked and rocked Melissa slightly.
Melissa gurgled slightly in her sleep and Scully smiled down at her.

 Then Scully turned and went to join her mother.  To go out to the car and begin
her long journey to her new city, her new job, her new apartment, and her new life.
Never again would she work for the government, she knew that, but she would never
regret her time there, either.  It had given her Melissa, it had given her Mulder, and in a
way it had given her herself.
 
 

Two Years Later

 "Hello?"

 "Hello, Mrs. Scully?"

 "Yes?"

 "Mrs. Scully, this is Mulder.  I need to get hold of your daughter.  Do you have a
number where I could reach her?"  The words came out as quickly as he could make
them.  He didn't know what kind of attitude Mrs. Scully held toward him at this point, but
he didn't think it was a very good one, whatever it was.

 "Mulder?  What do you want with Dana?"

 "I need to talk to her, Mrs. Scully, it's quite important," Mulder tried to keep his
voice as calm as he could.  He didn't feel calm at all, though.

 He looked down at the file on his desk, and another wave  of urgency came over
him.  The file contained details of Melissa's conception and the project that this whole
mess had been a part of.  He hadn't found it himself, instead it had been left on his desk
last night.  When he had come in the this morning it had been just sitting there in the
middle of his desk.

 "You've already hurt her so much, Mulder.  She's just getting her life back
together, I don't know if she needs this right now."
 
 Mulder, not Fox, ouch that hurt.  He almost couldn't believe how much that hurt.
How long had Scully tried to get her mother to stop that?  How long had he wanted her to
stop it?  And now she had, and Mulder realized that he had wanted it after all.

 "Please, it's about Melissa."  Mulder said.

 "Oh, it's about Melissa, is it?  Two whole years you don't see your daughter and
suddenly it's about Melissa?  I never thought you'd be one to leave your own child,
Mulder.  I always thought that you were better than that.  But you can't have it both ways.
You can't just show up after all this time and say it's about Melissa, it just doesn't work
that way."

 "Please, I just want to talk to Scully.  It really is important.  And I promise that I
won't hurt her again."

 "I don't know about that, Mulder.  There's only one way that you could avoid
hurting Dana again.  But I have a feeling that if I don't give you the number, you have
ways of finding  out anyways.  Am I right?"

 "Yes," Mulder told her.  The only reason he had called her first before going to
those other sources was because he didn't want anymore people than were necessary to
know that he was looking for Scully.

 "Fine," she sighed.  "Do you have a pen?"

 "Yes," Mulder told her and wrote down the number she gave him.  "Thank you,"
he said and hung up.  And all he could think as he did so was, I didn't abandon them, I
protected them.  But maybe they were one and the same thing in the end.
 
 

 Ring.... ring.... ring.... click.

 "Hi, you've caught me out.  If you want to try my office, the number is 597-2395.
Otherwise, leave a message after the beep, and I'll get back to you as soon as possible."

Beep.

 "Damn," Mulder whispered into the receiver.  This was the third time he'd gotten
the answering machine.  Was she never home?  He hadn't tried her office number yet, but
he was getting more and more tempted to do it.  This wasn't something he really wanted
to discuss with her while she was at work, but it was looking like he would have to.
Mulder sighed and punched in the other number.

 Ring....  ring....

 "Hello?"  It was Scully.  She sounded tired and not too happy to be answering the
phone at this particular moment.  "Hello?" she asked again when Mulder hesitated.

 "Hi, Scully, it's...,"

 "Mulder?"

 "Yes.  Look, are you busy right now?  I need to talk to you."

 "No, I'm...,"  thump, "Ow!"

 "Are you okay?"

 "Yeah, just trying to get a book down, and whoever built these shelves must have
been tall.  What do you want?"  Scully asked her voice suddenly growing suspicious.
Mulder didn't like the way that tone sounded.

 "I, Scully, it's about Melissa."

 "What about her?"

 "I've come across part of Melissa's file, and I thought you would like to have a
look at it."

 "What's in it?"

 "Scully, I think you know what's in it. "

 "Okay, can you fax it up to me?"

 "Scully, I don't think that would be the best idea.  I don't trust the phone lines with
this kind of information, it's not all secure.  I'd like to bring it up to Boston for you,"

 "I don't think that's a very good idea, either, Mulder.  Why don't I go down to
Washington and pick it up from you?"

 So she didn't want him to see where she was living?  She didn't want him
intruding on the life she had established for herself now?  Well, he could understand that,
he guessed.

 "When?"

 "This weekend.  It's time that Melissa saw her grandmother, anyhow."

 "Okay, call me when you get into town."  Mulder told her.  They said good-bye,
and then hung up.
 
 
 

 "Mom...," the little girl whined and struggled in her seat belt.  She had seen her
grandmother and all that was on her mind was getting to her as fast as she could.

 "Mel, hold still so that I can get the seat belt off, okay?" Dana asked her small
daughter.  She was leaning over the child and fumbling with the mechanism while
Melissa made the whole thing almost impossible with all her squirming.

 "Grama," the little girl told her mother and continued to try to squirm out of the
seat belt.

 "Melissa Samantha Scully, you sit still so that I can do this," Dana said in a
harsher tone then she normally used to get her daughter to listen.  She was under a lot of
stress, though, and Mel wasn't helping matters.  Her daughter gazed up at her with wide
eyes, but stopped her movements.

 "Thank you, dear," Scully said and released the seat belt.  Melissa jumped out of
the car, ran around Dana, and jumped into her grandmother's arms.  Dana stood and
closed and locked the door to the car.  She turned to her mother and daughter and went to
join them.

 "How are you, Dana?" Margaret asked.  She shifted Melissa to one arm and
draped the other over Dana's shoulder.  Then Margaret turned them all and led them into
the house.

 "Okay, I guess.  I'm so busy at work, and now this....  It's just not helping Mom, it
really isn't."  Dana sighed.

 "Why did you agree to come out and see him, dear?"  Margaret led her daughter
into the house and closed the door behind them.  Once they were inside, she motioned for
Dana to sit on the couch, and she sat with Melissa in the arm chair.

 "He said he had a file he wanted me to take a look at, and that he wanted to give it
to me in person.  He wanted to come to Boston, but I convinced him to let me come here
to him."  Dana told her mother.  When she had phoned her mother on Monday and asked
if it would be okay if she and Melissa stayed there over the weekend, all she had told her
mother was that she was coming out to see Mulder.  Dana hadn't wanted to discuss it over
the phone, and her mother had let it drop for then.  Now she wanted to know what this
was all about.

 "Why didn't he just fax it to you for goodness sakes?" Margaret asked her, "Why
make you come here, why put you through this?"

 "You know how Mulder is, Mom.  He doesn't trust anyone." Dana sighed and
looked up at her mother from the hands that she had been carefully studying for a few
minutes now.

 "He's not going to see Mel?" Margaret asked.

 "He hasn't asked to, no," Dana told her mother.  She could see that her mother
wasn't too happy about that.

 Dana wasn't sure what to do.  Mulder wasn't Mel's father, he didn't have any
obligation to take a role in her life, and still Margaret thought that he was her father.  And
Margaret obviously thought that Mulder should be involved in Melissa's life.  What could
Dana do short of saying, look, Mom, Mulder isn't the father, and frankly I don't know
who is, I'm hoping that's what he might be able to tell me this weekend, and that's why
I'm here?  And she couldn't tell her mother that, because that would only open a whole
new can of worms.

 "When are you going to see him?"

 "I have to phone him now that I am in town.  I assume he'll want to see me as
soon as possible, probably later today, or first thing tomorrow," Dana informed her
mother.

 "Why don't you go make that call right now then?"

 Dana nodded and got up from her position on the couch, and moved over to the
phone.  She picked up the receiver and dialed the number that two years, and who knew
how many miles of distance hadn't been able to take from her memory.

 Ring...., ring...,
 
 "Hello?"

 "Mulder, it's Dana, um..., Scully," she said.  Dana had gotten so used to being
called by her first name over the last two years, that it had just become natural to
introduce herself that way.

 "Scully?  Hi, are you in town?" Mulder asked.  His voice was much lower than
when he had first answered the phone, almost as though he couldn't quite catch his
breath.

 "Yes, I'm at my mother's house.  When do you want to see me?" Dana asked him
carefully.

 "Soon.  Today."  Mulder sounded a little out of it.  Dana absently wondered if he
was coming down with something.  He just didn't sound like himself.  Well, at least not
like the Mulder she had known two years ago anyways.

 "Okay, just let me get cleaned up, okay?  Where do you want to meet?"  Dana
asked him.

 "Is here okay?"

 "Sure."

 "Do you still remember how to get here?"

 "Of course."

*****

Dana Scully stepped out of the elevator and looked down the hall.  She was at Mulder's
apartment building.  She had been so sure that she would never be here again, and now
here she was.  She was almost scared of going to see Mulder this afternoon.  Did she
really want to see the file he had?  Did she really want to know about Melissa's father, or
how she had become pregnant in the first place?  Would it make her look at Mel any
differently?  Would it make her see conspiracies and 'them' when she looked into her
daughter's face?  Could she live with the knowledge that Mulder was going to give her?

 Scully sighed, there was only one way she was ever going to find out, and that
didn't involve standing in the hallway.  She was just going to have to go knock on his
door, and read the file that had brought her all the way down here in the first place.  Dana
squared her shoulders and headed for Mulder's door.

 Mulder opened the door slowly and then stood there simply staring at her.  Scully,
for her part, was staring at Mulder as well.  He just didn't look like himself.  Not that he
looked bad, or ill, just that he didn't look like himself.  He had a haunted look in his eyes,
that had previously only been visible when he was speaking of his sister, and the lines on
his face where more clearly visible then Scully remembered them.  Most of all his
bearing was wrong.  He had always been a strong person, who projected that easily, now
he looked somewhat broken, somewhat misused.

 "Mulder?" Scully said, and reached out with her hand.  At the last moment, right
before she touched his face, she let her hand drop.  It hit her leg with a slight slap and
Mulder looked down at the where the noise had come from.

 "Come in Scully," he said and stepped backwards to open the door for her.  She
nodded and followed him back into the apartment.  She looked around, it was in the same
kind of disarray that she remembered from previous visits, and that at least made her
smile.

 "Do you want anything?" Mulder asked her as he motioned for her to sit down.
While she was doing so, he closed the door behind them.

 "No.  I..., I just want to see the file.  I mean that is what I'm here for after all,"
Scully told him.  She felt a little uncomfortable being here, like she was invading his
private world.  Why had it never felt like that before, she wondered?  She just wanted to
see the file, and then leave.

 "Of course," Mulder said and went into another room to get the file.

 He came back with it a moment later and set it on the table in front of her.  He
moved across the room and sat down across from her.  He was watching her carefully and
Scully wasn't sure if she liked his behaviour that much.  Why did he have to stare at her?
Was he just going to sit there like that while she read the file?  If so, she wasn't sure how
much of it she could get through.

 "How have you been?" Mulder asked just as she reached for the file.

 "Not bad," Scully answered noncommittally.

 "What are you doing?"

 "Teaching at the University.  Could I just read the file, Mulder?" Scully asked
with a sigh.

 "Of course," Mulder replied and stood up.  He moved to the kitchen before Dana
could even say anything to stop him.

 She glanced back down at the file and opened it slowly.  The first four or five
pages were a discussion of her and Mulder, their partnership, and their work on the
X-files.  Not terribly informative, at least not to Scully, she had been there after all.  After
that the file quickly moved into statements about how dangerous she and Mulder where
together and the conclusion that an effective way to separate them was needed.

 -As a result of this partnership, the X-files has quickly become a fully functioning
division.  Agent Scully has failed in the task that she was originally intended for, and she
must now be removed.  This will not be a simple operation, however, as both Mulder and
Scully have friends in high places, who are willing to intercede on their behalf in order to
keep them together, and to keep the X-files division open.  The only way Mulder and
Scully will be effectively separated is if one of them leaves of their own free will.  It is
the opinion of this council that if Agent Scully leaves, the X-files division will quickly
collapse to the point it was at before her insertion.-

 The file went on for several pages in this way, and was apparently the result of
several months of meetings of this 'council'.  What else they had discussed at those
meetings was unclear, and only discussion about her and Mulder was recorded.

 -After much discussion and observation it is the conclusion of this council that
Agent Scully will never leave the X-files simply to protect her own life.  It is, however,
likely that she would leave in order to protect someone else...-

 The following pages were a long description of what exactly they planned to do to
her.  She shuddered as she read it.  It was almost as if all of this had happened to another
person, like she was totally removed from it all.  But the truth remained that this file was
about her, and that it was her that these things had been done to.  Basically the pages
could be cut down to  four short, succinct, life-altering sentences.

 -Agent Scully will be drugged.-    -She will be removed from her apartment and
taken to our facility-    -One there she will be inseminated with sperm from an unknown
donor.-    -She will then be returned to her apartment.-

 Scully closed the file slowly.  She placed it down on the table, and curled up into
a little ball on the couch.  She didn't even realize that she was crying until she felt the
tears sliding down her face.  They ran into her mouth and she tasted the saltiness of them.
She was shaking violently and was aware of nothing outside of herself.

 "Scully?" Mulder asked and touched her shoulder.

 In some part of her mind she registered that he was there, but she wasn't ready to
acknowledge him just yet.  She kept her head buried in her arms and rocked silently back
and forth.

 "Scully?" Mulder  tried again.  This time he reached out and tried to wrap his
arms around her.  It was hard, her being as curled up as she was.  Eventually she reached
for him and allowed herself to be drawn into his arms.  He just held her, and she cried
like she had never cried before.

 "Mulder," she said after awhile, when her tears had stopped and she had gotten
her voice back.

 "Scully," Mulder began, "I'm so sorry."

 Scully raised her eyes and looked at him then, and she could see it, she could see
it in his eyes.  He blamed himself for this.  How could he?  How could he think that it
was his fault that those bastards had used her like this?  She had stayed with him, and
been his partner out of her own free will.  She had been asked many times if she wanted a
transfer out and she had refused every one.  Somewhere along the line his quest had
become hers, and she had taken it willingly.

 "Don't you dare, Mulder.  Don't you dare blame yourself for this.  How dare you
be so arrogant as to think that this is all about you?  You didn't cause this anymore than I
did.  It was those bastards, tey did it and they did it, and they are the only ones to blame
here."

 Mulder stiffened and drew back from her.  His arms came from around her and
fell at his sides.  "I can't help but fell that this is my fault, Scully.  If you had never gotten
involved in the X-files, this would never have happened.  I wish to god it had never
happened."

 "I don't," Scully told him.  She felt Mulder withdraw even further in shock.

 "Look, Mulder.  What they did to me, it was awful.  I feel violated in the worst
way.  My body has been used without my consent, I've been raped in a very real sense.
But look what I got out of it.  I have a daughter I love more than anything on this planet.
I couldn't ask for anything more.  I can't turn this into something to be despised, because
then I will start despising her, and that is not fair.  I needed to know the truth, I needed to
know what happened, but I can't wish that it had never happened."

 Scully tried to explain it to him.  How she felt, what she thought.  She hated that
she had been used, yes.  She hated the people who had done it to her, that was true as
well.  But she didn't wish it hadn't happened.  She loved her daughter too much to wish
that.  She needed her daughter too much to ever imagine not having her.

 Mulder didn't answer, and so Scully continued, "There's one thing I don't
understand, though.  Why did they take her after her birth?  I had already left the X-files,
they didn't have to worry about me anymore."

 She looked at Mulder and saw the guilty expression on his face.  And she knew.
She knew that he knew why they had taken Melissa.  And he wasn't going to tell her
either.  It was something that she was going to have to figure out on her own.

 It was something to do with Mulder.  That abduction hadn't been about her, it had
been about Mulder.  To keep Mulder under control?  To keep him from doing something
that they didn't want?  Had it been a warning to both of them about what 'they' could do if
they really wanted to.  Had they used the threat against Melissa as a leash on Mulder?
Did he have to promise something to them in order to get her back?

 "They made you promise to stay away, didn't they?  That was the deal for her
return.  All you had to do was keep out of our lives."  Scully accused.

 She saw the answer in his eyes.  She was right.

 "And it was an easy promise to make wasn't it Mulder?" Scully asked, tears in her
eyes again.  They were ready to fall any second.  She couldn't believe that he had been
able to walk away from her that easily, from their friendship, from everything that it had
meant to her.

 "No," he whispered, his voice hoarse, "it was one of the hardest things I have ever
done."
 
 He stood up then and walked away from her.  She could do nothing for a moment
except to stare at his back and wonder where on Earth he was going.  And then suddenly
she jumped up and followed him.

 "Mulder," she called and grabbed his arm from behind.

 He stopped in his tracks, but did not turn around to look at her.  He was waiting
for her to say something.  And until she did he wouldn't say or do anything.

 "Mulder, I..., I'm sorry.  I didn't realize.  I was so hurt when you left.  I didn't know
what to do."

 "Why did you put my name on Melissa's birth certificate?" Mulder suddenly asked
her.  It was such a drastic change of topic that Scully had to take a minute to change
gears.

 "I wanted you to be able to protect her if something ever happened to me," Scully
told him truthfully.

 "Is that all?"  He asked.  Mulder still hadn't turned around to face her.  She
couldn't see his face, and she had no clue what he was thinking.

 What do you want me to say, Mulder?  Do you want to hear that I wished it was
your child inside my body?  I did wish that, you know.  Ever day of my pregnancy I
wished it was your child.  Do you want to hear that I love you more than a friend should?
Well I do that too, even now, even after you left us, even after all this time.  What do you
want to hear, Mulder?

 "Was there something specific that you wanted to hear, Mulder?" She asked him
quietly.

 "No." Mulder said and jerked his arm out of her grasp.  He began to walk away
from her again.

 "Did you want to hear that I wished that Melissa was yours?" Scully asked him
pointedly.  It made Mulder stop in his tracks again, but this time she didn't go to him.
She continued on.  "I did, Mulder, I really did.  I wished with everything I had that she
was yours.  And putting your name on her birth certificate was one way of making part of
that come true at least.  You were never supposed to know about that, not really.  At that
point I never thought I would see you again, I never thought I would come back."

 Mulder turned and looked at her then.  His eyes searched her face.  He was
looking for something.  Apparently he found it, because he started moving towards her.
He stopped just inches from her and reached out for her face with his hand.  He cradled
her cheek in his palm and ran his thumb gently over her bottom lip.

 He didn't say anything, and Scully didn't want him to.  He simply bent down and
replaced his thumb with his mouth.  And then he was kissing her, and Scully could barely
believe it.  How long had she waited for this moment.  How many times over the last two
years had she imagined him coming back to her and kissing her like this.  Soft and gentle,
like the kiss itself could heal everything that was wrong in her life.

 He broke away from her slowly, and Scully realized that she had her eyes closed.
When she opened them he was gone.  He had just slipped away.  She turned around to
see him back in the living room.  She just looked at him, the question in her eyes.

 "I can't do this," he told her.

 She didn't reply, she just kept looking at him levelly.

 "I can't.  Melissa.  I promised."  The words came out brokenly.  He couldn't keep
his voice steady.

 Again she didn't say anything.

 "I have to keep her safe, and that means keeping away from her."

 "No one is this world is completely safe, Mulder.  And the ultimate responsibility
for keeping people safe does not come down on your shoulders.  You are just one man.
If they want to take her, they'll take her.  If they want to hurt her, they'll hurt her.
Whether or not you are near her is not going to change their minds if they want her.  In
fact being closer might give her an advantage.  The closer you are, the better you can
watch her."

 "I...," Mulder began and then trailed off.

 "It's okay.  You don't have to come back now.  I'll ask again, and again, and again,
and as many times as it takes until you feel that you are ready to come home and be a
father to your daughter.  I'll never stop asking."  Scully told him.

 "Good," Mulder said strongly.  He seemed to have gotten his voice back.
"Because I'll never stop saying yes."  He smiled at her then and Scully came into the
living room and into his arms.

 "This isn't going to be easy, you know?" he asked her.

 "Nothing with us ever is," she replied and reached up for his mouth with hers.

*****

The kiss started out soft, as the first one had been.  Neither of them asking for more than
they were willing to give.  And then Scully opened her mouth, inviting Mulder in.  And
he took the invitation eagerly.  He sucked on her lower lip for a moment, and then
reached  into her mouth.   His tongue met hers, and she sighed into the kiss.  She pressed
her body more firmly against his, and her arms tightened around him.

 The world stood still.  For a moment there was nothing in it except for them, and
this kiss.  It swallowed up everything else in their lives, and became the whole focus of
their existances.  They had both wanted this for so long, needed this for so long, and it
was finally happening.

 Eventually the kiss ended.  Scully drew back first.  She looked up at Mulder and
found his eyes shining with emotion.  He smiled down at her, and she smiled back.  He
reached out and touched her cheek and then leaned down again and found her neck with
his lips.

 "Stay with me tonight," he whispered in her ear.  His voice was husky with need
and Scully shivered.

 "I can't."  The words were torn from her, and for a moment she almost cried out at
the cruelty of the world that had made her say them.

 Mulder stiffened and drew away from her.  He brought his head back up, and
looked her straight in the eyes, "Why not?"

 "I can't.  I have to get back to my daughter.  We have to leave tomorrow,
hopefully before noon.  And my mother would worry to no end if I stayed."  Scully told
him.   She had responsibilities, she couldn't just leave them so that she could spend then
night with him, no matter how much she wanted to.

 "You're mother will take care of Melissa.  We can set the alarm and get up in lots
of time to get you on the road by noon.  And your mother knows you're here.  If she gets
worried she can call, or you could call her now and tell her that you are staying."

 And from there it didn't take  long to convince her of something that she wanted
anyways.  She reached up and laced her fingers together behind his head, and brought his
face down to hers.  Her lips met his, and this time she initiated the kiss.  And once again,
like before, she was lost as soon as her mouth met his.  The next thing she knew, she was
cradled in his arms and he was carrying her across the room.

 She pulled her mouth away from his, and moved down to nuzzle his neck, at the
same time looking around to see where Mulder was taking them.  Out of the living room
and down the hall.  The bedroom?  And it was.  They entered and Scully saw that
Mulder's bed was immaculately made, exactly the type of bed the no one slept in.

 "Don't get much use out of this thing, do you Mulder?" she asked him teasingly.

 "Never had a reason to before," Mulder replied and carefully laid her down in the
middle of it.
 
 

 Scully awoke to the sound of an unfamiliar phone ringing.  She opened her eyes
and realized that she was naked in bed.  And not only that, but there was an arm draped
possessivly over her middle.  And the body attached to that arm was reaching over her for
the phone.  It was Mulder.  Mulder!  She was really here, it had really happened, she
hadn't dreamed it up.

 "Mulder," he mumbled sleepily into the phone when he picked it up.

 "What?  Yes, Mrs. Scully she's here," Mulder said into the phone.  His hand
instinctively tightened around her middle.  "No, she's fine.  We must have fallen asleep
going over the file."  He smiled down at her and moved his hand up to brush her hair out
of her eyes.  "Yes, I realize how late it is.  And Scully has to go home tomorrow.  Yes, I
know.  I'll wake her up and make sure she goes over there right away.  Okay, good night."
Mulder hung up the phone and then leaned down to kiss Scully full on the mouth.

 "Agent Mulder, I never knew you were such a good liar," Scully teased him.

 "I'm good at a great many things that you don't know about, Scully."

 "So I found out last night."

 Mulder leaned down to kiss her again.  This time the kiss lasted much longer, but
he broke it off before it could become anything else.  Her mother was waiting for her
after all.

 "So, where do we go from here?" Scully asked him.

 His eyes clouded over then and he looked away for a moment.  Scully was
confused by his action.  She reached out, touched his face, and tried to draw him around
to look at her again.  He refused to meet her eyes, though.

 "What's wrong?" she asked him softly.  Scully reached out and touched the side of
his face.  Mulder pressed his cheek into her hand and slowly turned to face her again.

 "It all seemed so easy last night.  Now I'm scared.  I'm scared for you, and for me,
but most of all for Melissa.  She deserves a normal life, where she is safe and I can't give
that to her.  I can't promise that she will be safe.  I can't promise that some day 'they' will
come back for her."

 "No one has a guarentee on safety in this world, Mulder.  And no matter how hard
we may want to we can never give that guarentee to anyone.  Yes, 'they' might come back
for her, 'they' might do any number of horrible things to her, but at the same time 'they'
might not.  It might be over.  Maybe that's why the file showed up on your desk."  Scully
told him.  She could tell by the look in his eyes that he really did believe, and all too
strongly as well, that he could and should provide that guarentee of safety to everyone he
cared about.

 "Mulder?" she asked when he didn't respond.

 "I want to keep her safe," Mulder told her hoarsely.

 "So do I," Scully told him.  She reached up and brushed his hair back from his
face.

 "Then I have to stay away."  Mulder pulled away from her then.  He unwrapped
himself from around her, and got up from the bed.  He reached for his pants and quickly
pulled them on.  Mulder's back was turned to her, and Scully could see the tension in his
muscles.  He was not happy, but he didn't think there was anything he could do about it.
 "No.  Mulder, listen to reason.  I want to be with you.  Now, today, tomorrow,
forever.  Our daughter will be safe.  We'll keep her safe together, just like we've always
done everything together.  We can move here after the end of the semester.  I'll find  a job
here, one where they have a babysitting program so that I can take Melissa to work with
me until she starts school.  It'll be okay, really.  We'll make it, and we'll all be safe."
 "I quit," Mulder said softly and began to walk away from her.
 "What?" Scully asked, not really sure what he was referring to.  Could he mean
that he wanted to quit trying to make this work?  He couldn't mean that, could he?  They
meant too much to each other, and now they both knew it, all too well.  Could he simply
walk away from everything they could, and should be together?  Could she let him?
 He was nearly at the door to his bedroom before he stopped and answered her
question.  He didn't turn around to face her, though.  He stood staring at the wall and
spoke so softly that she had to strain to hear what he was saying.
 "I quit, I left.  I couldn't work for them anymore, not after...," Mulder broke off.
His voice cracked at the end, and he shifted his gaze from the wall to the floor.
 "The Bureau?  Mulder, I...."
 "I've wanted to do it ever since....  Well, ever since Melissa.  I would have done it,
except I thought that I could stay and find out what 'they' had done to you.  Then that file
landed on my desk, and I couldn't stay after I read that.  I couldn't work for an
organization that would do that to you.  It would have been like sanctioning it, and I
couldn't do that."
 "Mulder, I don't know what to say," Scully said slowly.  "I know how much the
X-Files meant to you.  And your sister."
 "The X-Files meant nothing to me after you left.  I tried, and I tried, but I couldn't
work with a new partner, and I didn't want to.  None of the others made it through more
than a month of me and my theories, and I didn't want them to, not really.  So Skinner
finally let me work alone.  After that work got done, but there was no joy in it.  As for
Samantha...."
 Mulder suddenly broke off, and then spun to face her. "Damn it Scully," he
snapped at her.  There were tears glistening  in his eyes that threatened to well over. "I
loved Sam, but there's other people that I love just as much now, and it's them that I'm
trying to protect.  I can't let you down the way I let her down, not again, never again.  I'll
never stop looking for Sam, but I have to live in the present as well."
 "Mulder," Scully breathed and slipped out of the bed.  She moved across the room
and stopped right in front of him.  She reached down and took his hand in her; he did not
protest.  "You're not making sense.  In one breath you say you love us, and in the next you
tell me you can't be with us."
 "I...," Mulder began, but Scully reached up and placed her hand over his mouth to
stop him.
 "I love you, Fox Mulder, more than life itself.  Can you understand that?  I want to
be with you, more than anything.  I want to come home at night and see you there.  I want
to go to bed at night and curl up next to you.  And I want my daughter to know her father,
more than anything.  I want her to live in a home with both parents.  I want her to look at
you and see her father.  I don't care if she's your blood or not, she's still your daughter.
And I'm ready to do anything to get that.  I'm willing to take any chance I have to.
Because we can't live under a rock for our entire lives, scared to poke our heads out.  If
you stay away and try to keep us safe then none of us will be happy.  If you stay, we'll all
be happy, and we'll be as safe as we can make ourselves.  That's all we can hope for in
this life, Mulder.  There are no guarantees, there are no perfect answers, there is only life,
and we can make it as good or as bad as we want to."
 Scully took a deep breath and looked up at him.  He didn't say anything for the
longest time and she assumed he was trying to process everything that she had said.  He
was trying to figure out what to do, what to say to her.
 "I..., I love you too." Mulder said and reached out to touch Scully's face.  "I almost
can't believe how much.  I want to give you everything you want and more.  I want to be
there for you when you go to bed at night, and I want to be there when you wake up in
the morning.  I want to look down at Melissa, and hear her call me 'daddy'.  But damn it
Scully I'm scared.  Not just for myself, but for you and Melissa."
 "I'm scared too Mulder.  But I won't walk away from this because I'm scared.  I
couldn't live with myself after that."  Scully told him.
 "If you won't walk away, then I won't walk away, either.  Just promise me that
when I get scared that you will hold me and tell me how much you love me, and that it
will be okay."
 "Only if you promise me the same thing," Scully whispered.
 "It's deal then," Mulder told her.  He reached down and cupped her face in his
hands.  He caressed her face gently and then tilted it up slightly so that he could kiss her.
 "You'd better get going," Mulder said once the kiss ended.
 Scully smiled up at him.  She slipped out of his arms, and moved to get dressed.
When she was done, she turned to find him watching her carefully.  She smiled at him
and moved to stand in front of Mulder again.  She reached down and laced her fingers
through his, and then started moving towards the door.
 "Let's go meet your daughter," Scully said and pulled Mulder along behind her.
 "It's late, Scully," Mulder protested.
 "We'll wake her," Scully smiled, and didn't break her stride.  She lead him out of
the apartment, to her car, and then off to meet the rest of his life.

*****

END

(c) 1996 Wintermoon
 
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