This poetry was inspired by a troubled individual for whom devastating child abuse
couldn't be overcome -- and the trauma of lasting emotional consequences so often
misunderstood by society. Read it and weep for all those innocent victims out there
right now, suffering the abuse that will forever diminish their adult lives.
FIRESTORM
Sometimes the fierce voice you hear
Beckons you to come dangerously near...
And from that very first moment
You know, you understand the torment,
The lonely, haunting cry of emptiness,
And you are driven to share
The depth of lostness and despair.
For months now, I've roamed freely
The whirling electrical circuits,
Reading the neon glow of words
Where voiceless oceans roar
Across the landscape of cyberspace,
And all the hush of rushed
Images, ideas, sighs and screams
Were only shallow entertainment,
Something I observed,lurking
From a distant place, safe.
All of those disembodied
People seemed vaguely unreal,
Articulate, but superficial,
An artificial flicker of light
Flaring briefly from the darkness.
A firestorm was born though,
The embers ignited, bright and hot,
In that instant I read your post
(Only two short paragraphs you wrote)
Yet I was certain, absolutely sure
That a door opened, a voice called,
And my mind suddenly blazed
With the intensity of your reality,
Captured in the mystery
Of you.
*****************************************************************
Fortress
Somewhere out there in the night
You ride down a lonely highway,
Your eyes on the distant horizon
Thinking about your past life,
And you wonder why you were born
In such a wasted, barren world
For you've always been an alien,
A stranger in this human land,
Yet you do want to be understood
Even if for only a moment in time,
But you're afraid if you found compassion,
Allowed anyone to show you tenderness,
That the protective walls of your fortress,
Built of anger, rage and alienation,
Would crumble, and you'd be exposed
To human feeling, human needs...
And then you'd become vulnerable,
Awakened to the pain of loving.
*****************************************************************
Apathy
If all humans had failed me
The way they failed you,
I doubt I'd be as strong now
As you are, able to go on living
While dying, dying deep inside
Your self-imposed prison of isolation,
Afraid to be known, afraid to be shown
The doorway that leads to your soul.
If all humans had looked the other way
When I suffered like you once did,
Maybe I'd have a heart of stone
And I'd hate, hate, hate the faces
Of the entire human race --
Prefer to think myself an exotic
Creature from another planet
Where there was love, care, concern
Instead of the apathy here on earth.
*****************************************************************
Bobby
Rearranging reality for you
I'd be there in that hallway
Long ago--a neighbor, a passerby
Seeing you, a small, scared boy
Huddled against that closed door,
And I'd stop, reach out my hand,
Then turn you gently to face me,
Look into your wide, surprised eyes,
And tell you I would help, lift
You up, take your small hand
In mine, give you a tender hug
And lead you away from brutal
Parents who were too damaged
To nourish, cherish and love
The innocent little boy, Bobby.
Somewhere inside you today
There lives that small child,
And you know it, admit it,
So it would be so wonderful
If you'd let me hold you now
As that little boy Bobby...
And free the fear, the sorrow
That made you feel unlovable,
Somehow to blame, or responsible
For being locked out of home,
Alone and bereft, abandoned.
I cannot heal you,
I'm wounded too;
I cannot promise you
That you'll ever be Whole:
I'm broken too.
But I can give you love,
I can nourish the child in you,
Hoping my love will enrich your life,
Liberating the painful hurt
Of Bobby, the child who still cries.
*****************************************************************
RELATIONSHIP
You've never had a relationship
You say--don't know what it's like,
A mystery to you, something to figure out:
But there's no puzzle here,
No complex, complicated enigma...
It's just you and me
In a give-and-take dialogue,
Some sadness, some joy, some hope,
As we both cherish the rewards
Of two solitudes who meet
And begin to explore with wonder
The worlds within one another.
*****************************************************************
FORGIVE & FORGET
Some people will tell you
Forgive & forget
The maladjusted monsters
You had as parents,
But I never will.
Some people will tell you
That deep-down your
Need is to still love those
Who hurt, abused you
As a helpless child,
But I never will.
Some people can never
Understand that for you
To accept their ideas
You would be denying your reality,
Allowing those brutal parents
To get away with their crime
--I understand.
You must never forget
You must never forgive...
For that would be accepting
That you'd been a willing victim.
So feel the rage, the anger
But always remember...
Someone, somewhere shares
Your suffering, your sorrow
And understands the pain
You keep deep down inside.
*****************************************************************
THE LIFE YOU WERE MEANT TO LIVE
If I could, I would
Relieve your pain
By absorbing it into my heart
And turning it into a beautiful hurt,
Suffering for you, with you,
Slowly healing the agony
That drives you, blinds you
To all the love and light
Waiting to fill your soul.
If I could, I would
Mend all your scars
By soothing the deep wounds
With enduring warmth and love,
Slowly replacing the ache
You have lived with so long
It has laid claim to your soul...
And gently, tenderly I'd remove
Every last trace of anger and bitterness
So that you could be free, no pain
And finally learn to experience
The life you were meant to live.
*****************************************************************
SOME OTHER LIFE AND TIME
Sleepless nights full of starry
Skies that whisper WHY?
Golden dreams of what
Might have been...
In some other life and time.
Sleepless nights full of your song,
Stranger in a strange land,
Windy cries haunting and poignant,
Dreaming your life has ended
Before your soul was born.
Sleepless nights where only we walk
Like children in a nightmare fog,
Moonlight spilling in my window
Where I lie dreaming about us
In some other life and time,
Where we could have been
Healed & Whole.
*****************************************************************
20th CENTURY
"People don't care.
No one cares."
Those are your words,
And I must admit
It looks as if you're right.
After all, you've been shouting
Through a mass public forum,
Begging for kindness, understanding
And though your anger and rage
Are devastating to hear...
No one, not one single soul
Has publicly offered you
The one thing you need most:
Love, caring.
It's a sad truth
That people remain aloof,
Perferring not to be involved,
Or to launch a verbal assault
And offer nothing constructive --
Yet they perversely think
They can exact revenge
After the killing has happened.
"People don't care.
No one cares."
This is the story
Of the 20th Century...
Is it any wonder
Humanity seems doomed?
*****************************************************************
PRISONER OF DARKNESS
Prisoner of darkness
In a savage garden you exist,
A wilderness of bloody killers,
Haunted by vicious obsessions,
Visions of gory murder stories
Your ferocious beasts of burden:
You half-fear you aren't sane,
Shut up behind drawn blinds
In a house of locked doors & windows.
Prisoner of darkness
You vow no one can reach you,
No one can touch you,
In your isolated dungeon
At the edge of oblivion
Where you rage like a lion,
Roaring out your angry fury
From behind a safe barricade.
Sheltered from all human eyes,
Swearing if you are confronted
You'll come out with guns blazing,
A madman, a violent revolutionary.
Prisoner of darkness
I have entered your lair,
I know why you hide there:
You're afraid of losing control,
Afraid you'll go on a killing rampage,
Destroying everyone in your path,
So you lay low, locking yourself away.
Prisoner of darkness
I have only this dim realm
Of written words on a screen
To cross the vast distance
That lies forever between us...
But I have come in open honesty
Carrying a torch of truth
To cast out the shadows of doubt
That you have about yourself,
To reassure you that your courage
Is more than enough for you
To survive the demons of denial
That have held you captured,
Hostage in an endless night.
Prisoner of darkness
Will you ever stop the fight
Against the loving warmth of light
Waiting to fill your heart bright?
There is a world beyond your door
More than you ever dared hope for,
But you can only find that glory
If you let go of your clever defenses
And release yourself from the nightmares
Of a dark dungeon built long ago
By a little boy named Bobby,
Who wanted to kill his parents
And still forces the man of today
To hate, hate all humans & society.
Prisoner of darkness
Only you can set yourself free
From the agony of endless misery,
Breaking down the self-imposed barriers
So you can claim your true destiny:
Here and now, a life of love and light.
*****************************************************************
WORLDS APART
Your world is a solitary rock
Orbiting the void of childhood,
And you say you need no one;
Your world is formed to spin smoothly
In a dark, empty universe:
You are a cold, lifeless moon.
My world is a sunbright star
Orbiting the creative fires of art,
And I want to love, to give, to live:
My world is vulnerable, sensitive to hurt,
I am a glowing starlit ember.
Our worlds are far apart,
Millions of miles distant
As star is from star:
The cold, dead moon of you,
The warm, shining sun I am:
We could be aliens because
Our hearts cannot bridge vast space
Forever and ever between us...
And traversing that wretched wilderness
Known as human alienation
Is impossible.
You cannot forget the fears of past hurts
Or come close, too near warm tenderness,
Although your childhood world is long past
And you have nothing, nothing to lose,
Yet if you let the sun melt the icy surface
Of a moon too long alone
Two alien worlds would collide
And catastrophe would likely result;
So we remain silently apart:
The cold moon and the bright star.
©1997
Nothing has ever saddened me like the realization that so many children are doomed by the very nature of the abuse they suffer at the hands of their own parents -- I know the agony such a person suffers, and the best course would be to prevent the damage a child suffers in an abusive family. If you're concerned, here is a link where you can get actively involved!The Children's Defense Fund A strong and effective voice for all the children of America, who cannot vote, lobby, or speak out for themselves. Particular attention focused on the needs of poor, minority, and disabled children. The goal is to educate the nation about the needs of children and encourage preventive investment in children before they get sick, drop out of school, suffer family breakdown, or get into trouble. CDF is a private nonprofit organization supported by foundations, corporations, and individuals.
