Hope for a New Day
As she sits in forlorn disgrace
Tears of pain run down her face
She cowers from him by the door
Hoping he won't hit her anymore
She tries to scream
But voice not heard
Her innocence shattered
Like a baby bird
Her 9 year old son hiding
Down the hall
She's praying and hoping
He won´t see her fall
She wonders how it
Came to this?
After so many years
Of what she thought was marital bliss?
She wonders why
She ignored the signs
That began to surface
After some time…
Still she cowers
On the floor
Hoping he won´t strike
Out once more…
She shakes and cries
Waits for him to leave
While drying tears of
Shame on her sleeve
When he´s gone
Bruises remain
Her heart is heavy
Full of shame
Her son comes over
To be by her side
Thankful his mother
Hasn´t died…
But what he doesn´t know
Is the pain she feels
Inwardly in her heart
As her mind reels
How do I escape?
What do I do?
To make our lives better?
And not live black and blue?
In her mind
She hears a voice
For it´s been 10 years
Without any choice
She now decides
It´s time to flee
Take back her life
So she and her son can be free…
What steps to take?
Who to call?
When it seems like one man
Has ended it all?
Her son looks up now with tear in eye
Puts hand on her shoulder Mom, please don´t cry…
He then hands over a little card
Says then to her…
Maybe this will help so it won´t be so hard??…
He tells her someone gave the card to him
To help empower her again
She reads through bruised eyes that are now dark….
The card he handed her was from HAWC….
~~~~~~~~~~
My Cards
Cold, numb.
Desperately hopeless.
Lost child… desolate one.
Does he long to hold you in his arms?
Kiss away your fears?
And will you let him?
You sit… alone in a corner on a cold kitchen tile.
Staring at the door; wanting to leave as tears
Stream down your face.
And the pain that you hold deep inside finally crawls
It´s way to the surface to eat away at you like a bug
May eat dead flesh.
And it leaves you oh so empty.
You wish he´d leave.
Leave you alone with your fears,
Your seething hatred; your pain…
Leave you – so that he cannot see your vulnerability open like
A sore bleeding wound.
He helps feed your pain by dousing the wound with alcohol
And forgets to blow lightly on it to stop the sting.
You wish he wouldn´t touch you; you flinch at his tough
And cringe at his false sincerity.
The heart you once thought you had, that you had tried to protect
Is bleeding again and all the pain you´d withheld;
All the hate is unleashed upon him. You don´t want to hate,
Don´t want to feel this cold,
This numb, this uncaring, but you cannot help it.
So you cry… and continue to stare vacantly at the door;
Wanting to leave but not…
~~~~~~~~~~
Fear
Tell me ‘bout your secrets child
Tell me ‘bout your heart
Tell me about your demon spirits
That hide restless in the dark
Tell me of your hopes
Tell me of your fears
Tell me ‘bout all those precious things
You´ve locked up all these years
Tell me ‘bout your nightmares
Tell me of your ghosts
Tell be about all those wishful
Nights where you´ve hoped for better
Than those.
I´ll tell you ‘bout my life child
I´ll tell you how it is
I´ll warn you of those dangers
That lurk around the bend
I´ll try and slay your demons
Hunt and kill your ghosts
I´ll wake you from your nightmares
And pray for better
So much better than those
And when this is all over;
All is said and done…
I´ll be the one to hold you tight
When all your fears are gone…
~~~~~~~~~~
Regrets
You have died a million times
In my mind
But that doesn´t
Seem to ease the pain.
I fled from you quickly
Recovering slowly
But that didn´t lock you away
Where you belong.
I dried my tears of pain
Thinking I´d soon learn
To forget you
But I realize that´s a lie.
I have tried to kill you
In my mind
But that´s not reality
And you still exist.
You cannot take back what
You did to me
Nor can you change the hurt
Because I still hurt today.
There is no excuse
For what you did to me
And I understand now
What really happened to me.
Oh you have died a million times
You should be dead by now
But still that doesn´t seem
To cease the pain…
~~~~~~~~~~
Remembering…
Sitting on the old wood porch covered with rain
But safe by the overhang above my head;
I watched you sit.
Your arms curled around your knees
In what Mama would call
The fetal position
And remembering how
When we were young
And you were younger
Life was simple then.
No-one to disappoint you
Or not meet your expectations.
And I´d watch Mama hand Dad a beer to
Calm him down.
You´d still sit there on broken porch steps
The Chosen One
To bear the heartless change.
Time has left us, you older than me now
And you still sit on those
Steps… remembering
Thinking how funny it is that the ones
You trusted…
Let you down and left you fighting
On the stairs
All alone…
