when the storm came
a seed
Trying too hard
I shouldn't care for you don't
sister to none
I am myself and no one else
Song
written for Paul Tagaloglou
Tell me you care
Tell me you care that I'm dying inside
Once Upon A Time...
Once upon a time,
Magnetic North Lost
I once held in my hand a compass
then again
Never have I been touched like that.
I won't miss you.
I won't miss you.
More Poetry...
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a sprout
a sapling
a child of a tree
new, fresh, unweathered,
knowing nothing more than
the soft kiss of a light shower
or the gentle caress of a slight breeze
until one day...
the sun had been hot
the ground had grown dry
the tree yearned for the kiss of rain
the reassurance of a breeze
then it came,
a chill and the breath of an oncoming storm.
the young tree shivered and shuddered.
there was no hope
of controling the rustling of leaves,
of silencing the roar of thunder in the distance,
of subduing the flash of lighting
striking something in the heart of the tree.
so she let it come.
rain and wind,
both overtook the tree.
and she let them.
she greedily drank the sweet rain,
she took pleasure in the zephyr that shook her limbs.
no, never before had the tree known such weather.
a concoction of confusion, yearning, relief, and fear
sank into the ground
to be absorbed by her dry roots,
to become part of the tree
for life.
she would never be the same.
©JAL 8/25/98 8:54pm
I shouldn't bother since you won't
I shouldn't think that things will change
or stay, or go, or --I don't know-- but I shouldn't.
I try too hard to please you
I know that this is something I do
but I can't seem to ignore it
or help it, or stop --I wish I could-- but I can't.
It's all through a feeble hope
that your approval might help me cope
That somehow you might seem to care
about me or my life or --who knows-- anything
Tomorrow I just won't try
but today is just a lie
for your inspection, your stamp,
your criticism, you.
Yes, I'm trying too hard.
©JAL 8-17-98 12:35 a.m.
I need no one beside me
I don't need to talk, no, I'll be okay
Really, I will, just watch me...
I don't need the bickering
I don't need the fights
I don't need those people
who say we're alike
You live your life
I can live mine
And we'll grow apart
Just give it time
But now that I think
of how it would be
being sister to none
just isn't for me
I'd miss the giggles
at three, wouldn't you?
Who else could I have
so much fun talking to?
And when I'm so low
and have been treated like dirt
who else can let me know
that it's alright to hurt
when all of my friends
have gone seperate ways
I pray I'll have you
for all of those days...
for I'm sister to none--
none other than you--
and for being my best friend,
I'll always thank you.
©JAL 8-17-98 12:00 am
in hopes of many beautiful songs to come
The shadows of the night are dancing --
... there is day in the darkness...
The flame of the fire is singing --
... there is song in the silence...
In everything there is a tune
... though not always can we hear...
The sky, the stars, and the moon
... each sing a song so clear...
... sing your song ...
Be true to the beat --
... step in time ...
Be true to your heart --
... not the rhyme ...
Be true to yourself --
... sing your song...
... a different drummer
... a different beat
... a different step
... for different feet ...
So many different rhythms --
... Which must you listen to?
The answer's clear yet hard to hear--
... The beat of the heart in YOU.
The Spirit in you is singing
... for it is the fire within
each dream in your heart is something
... through which a new song may begin ...
©JAL 8-1-98 12:01 am
Tell me you know what it's like
Tell me you see that I just want to hide
Tell me you understand the pain
Hand me a tissue, then walk away
I know how things are
Tell me you are somehow okay
As I study your nonchalant ways.
Tell me these things
Tell me them
Tell me more
and then I'll tell you...
That you lie.
©JAL -- 1:48 am -- 8/07/98
there was an ordinary girl
who was quite plain indeed.
She was alone
and feared the thought
of solitude.
This caused her to weep.
Through the day,
through the night,
rain or shine,
tears fell from her eyes.
Her ever-tear-stained face
knew nothing other than this.
And so it was for a long,
long
time.
Then,
one day,
she saw a sillouette
of someone
in the distance.
He was walking towards her.
He was coming to rescue her.
He would ease her sorrow.
Her heart grew lighter,
her eyes grew brighter
--for a moment,
just a moment.
Then she sighed
for she realized
he had turned
away from her
towards
a nearby castle
and a not-so-ordinary
princess.
And she lived wearily ever-after.
The End.
©JAL -- 12:37 am -- 8/07/98
It once showed the way
But now it is does not
For this compass I've got
Only points to magnetic north.
I know neither how nor when
But magnetic north seems to have gone
I don't know if it'll return again
But for now I'll depend on the stars
...Star light, star bright,
First star I see tonight,
I wish I may, I wish I might
Have the wish I wish tonight...
Above my head I see them
Millions and millions galore
And past the stars into heaven
I search my heart for something more
I cannot hear the calling--
I strain to make out the words
I want to know the direction to go,
I yearn to see the road to take
I pray this turn I make
Will lead me home.
© JAL 7/10/98 10:28 pm
I don't understand.
Never before had I felt this--
stop the gasping of my breath
stop the pounding of my heart
stop the echoes of the cries inside my mind
Mend my fragile life with your hands
Hold my broken spirit to your heart
Ease my mind with your words
another day will come
and I'll be lost again
but right now,
I'm here.
Right now,
I'm alive.
Right now,
I'm looking ahead.
But I'm not ready to be on my own again.
I won't miss the others,
But You.
I can't live without You.
© JAL 6/20/98 1:31 am
No, I won't
You can't make me
you simply can't
no matter how much you want to
no matter how hard you try
no matter how many times
you make me cry.
I won't miss you.
I won't regret all the things I said
I'll let all the echoes fade
Though your shadows will be there,
I'm not afraid.
no. No. NO. NO!
I won't miss you.
I won't miss your screaming voice
No, I won't miss you
this is no longer a choice
I won't miss you
I don't care what happens now
No, I won't miss you
No, I said I'm not allowed
too many times
I've heard you yelling out at me
too many times
you've beat me up inside
too many times
you made me want to die, to melt and cry...
so from now on
you're just a memory
and till forever
I won't let you hurt me
I'll live my life
in peace by myself
give all your put-downs
to someone like yourself
cause I won't miss you again...
I won't miss you anymore
I won't feel a void
I won't be annoyed
I won't care
that you simply are not there.
I won't miss you.
© JAL 6/19/98 5:24 pm
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