In the Name Of Love
Never again, that's what she said,
the hole now filled
Since you came along, I'm now expecting
Remembering Sonia
So many thoughts, yet no words to speak
this versus the other
Compare and contrast,
Peppermint Patties Instead
No junior mints...
Tearstained
A single tear bleeds from the window of her soul;
X-Ray Eyes
nothing is safe
taste of my toes
guess what.
two left now only one
I have
Cardboard Boxes
well, this is it.
More Poetry...
Page 1
|Page 2
|Page 3
|Page 4
|Page 5
Return to the Poem Page
| Return to the portfolio
| Return to the Main Page
She promised herself not to do it.
Never before had she been so misled,
she gave up so much, no one knew it.
Shower her life with tears,
Shatter her dreams with fears,
Never listen to her cries,
Or see the pain in her eyes,
Hear her with deaf ears...
In a prayer, she cried out in the night,
she begged for someone to hear her pleas.
Then came an angel to make the wrong right,
and death came to the child on her knees.
Hear the silence of the night,
And know that all is right.
Though her life is no more,
She knows peace unlike before,
And is bathed in heaven's light.
Tonight she looks down from above,
She sees the hell she knew below.
She gave herself for a thing called love.
But will anyone ever truly know
ŠJAL 9/22/98 2:26 pm
the unexpected: now I know how
to believe in dreams. Groping
in the darkness for the words, feeling
that you knew my thoughts, wanting more and more
for you to stay, I opened up
to new possibilities, new horizons. You touched something
deep inside of me. You make me want to feel your
joy and pain. You knew how
to make me smile again. You showed me how
to laugh. You guided me
when I was lost. With a twist
of fate, a touch
of destiny, and a kiss
of chance, you taught me how
to dance again. The hole
in my heart was no more. Abreast,
you and I walked along the shore. I held your
hand and felt secure. You loved me
for who I was. And I loved you
for all that you were...
And more
ŠJAL 9/15/98 2:36 pm
--I wish I knew what to say--
So many fears yet nothing to show
--I wish I knew what to do--
~*~
Something was lost sometime ago,
Someone that I never knew,
Then something was found to someone's surprise--
Somehow I crossed paths with you.
But I didn't know the story you kept
Burried so deeply inside,
Yet somehow you knew all about me--
Even all that I tried to hide.
What is beyond your memories of her?
Is it simply too much to bear?
Do you see me as more than comfort?
Is there something that you'll share?
Remember your Sonia, no, never forget
The locket held close to your heart...
And I will be here waiting for you
Just as I had from the start.
ŠJAL 9/14/98 2:39 pm
I learned that in class
who'd guess I'd actually do that in -life-...
but who'll be to blame
when I'm driven insane
by decisions, the problems, the strife?
~*~
This.
Makes me feel good.
A passionate kiss
a moment of bliss
and then there is more,
there is -something-
then he's not there
and I'm longing.
I don't understand
how his holding my hand
can do such things to me
I can't tell you why
but I nearly die
when he's not there to see...
The Other.
Makes me feel understood.
he tends to know what I'll say
he's funny that way
he's like no one I've ever known
he can see easily
the child hiding in me,
the little girl who has not yet grown
It frightens me some --
how close we've become --
in so short a length of time...
~*~
this one or that?
as a matter of fact
I simply don't care anymore
but, no, -that's- a lie
though I still want to cry
cause the answer's not clear like before
no it's simply not clear anymore...
ŠJAL 9/9/98 12:53 am
peppermint patties instead --
just one of the many things I've settled for.
bagged store-bought cookies instead of Grandma's freshly-baked,
hugs wrapped in foil instead of around me,
letters in business envelopes instead of conversations in the car,
phone calls instead of human touch
--little things I miss so much.
Today I wanted some junior mints.
There were none.
Peppermint patties instead.
ŠJAL 9/8/98 8:15 pm
Revisited
Born of the ignorant cruelty of pure lies.
Tearstained pages fill the void inside,
The hollowness from which she cries.
Anger's fingers find her throat
And slowly wring away the air
Rage finds a knife, he makes her bleed
And gnaws til nothing's there.
So then she commits each bitter word
To the confines of the page--
With a pen she chokes Anger
And rids herself of consuming Rage.
Yet, each page bears the numbing scars
Of indelible screams, silent cries.
Fallen on the pages like fading stars,
The hopeless tears that stung her eyes
ŠJAL 2:23 am 9/6/98
no one knows
it's a secret plain as day
penetrating all
seeing nothing
it's sight in a different way
see inside
look beyond
who is there beyond the disguise?
without glasses
the world is clearer
when seen with x-ray eyes
try again
see no light
all is there as before
look harder
yet again
there simply is something more
never seeing
with open eyes
only viewing what seems to be real
next time try
to see beyond
see not the face, but what it feels.
ŠJAL 2:26 pm 9/3/98
I did it again.
I had it all right,
all fixed and then
I simply said something
that should not have been...
know what?
I know that is true
I know that I goofed
yeah, it's something I do
like an idiot I forgot and then
I did something I wasn't supposed to...
what's that?
Uh-huh, that's right.
I want to take it back
but, yes, I did write
those thoughts and those words
But they were born in a -different- light...
what's new?
Not much, apparently
I mean I haven't changed
it's the same old me
I just seem to like the taste of my toes
but I only have -two- feet unfortunately...
ŠJAL 11:09 pm 8/30/98
two posts left now only one
I'm talking more than I usually do
I never seem to get to ten
but then again
there's a first for everything
I have
two more chances now only one
to give praise, applaud, speak out
I never seem to say enough
but then again
I tend to say too much
I have
two entries allowed now only one
and here I am squandering another
I never seem to understand
but then again
I'm learning still
I have
two hopes still now only one
but they're only dreams I won't let go
I never seem reach out soon enough
but then again
I hold on too long
there are
two left now only one
but tomorrow's another day to come
I never seem to know the way
but then again
I never had a map.
ŠJAL 8/30/98 4:01 pm
yep, now it's time.
no, I won't forget.
yes, I'll be fine.
give me another cardboard box
I can't leave this behind
I have to take it, it has to come
hand me another box
trinkets and cards from years ago
nothing more than junk, you say
I think the same but I simply can't
no I can't throw it away
so pass another box this way
and I'll fill it to the top
with valentines and sticker books,
yes, give me another box
this isn't enough.
there's more to this than things
there's more to me than paper dolls,
stuffed bears or cracker jack rings
cardboard boxes hold it all
but are somehow completely empty
pass me another cardboard box --
I want to pack the memories.
ŠJAL 3:37 pm 8/30/98
|Page 6
|Page 7
|Page 8
|Page 9
|Page 10
