Goo's Worthless Facts 'n Stuff 
Goo's Worthless Facts 'n Stuff
The only public office Zachary Taylor held was president of the United States...
a job he never even wanted...
he never even voted in a U.S. election
The island of Puerto Rico was originally called San Juan...
its capital city, San Juan, was originally called Puerto Rico
Francois Voltaire panicked on his death bed, reached into the chamberpot and ate
The first ATM machine was installed June 27, 1967.....
though the first excessive fee placed on its use wasn't utilized until decades later!
Each leg of a 'Daddy Longlegs' contains about fifty joints.
King Alexander of Greece died in 1920, after his pet monkey bit him..
in 1952 New York state had 13,000 miles of paved roadways...
if every car registered in that state that year had been parked end to end they would stretch 14,000 miles
Fresh urine is just fine to use for cleansing wounds.....
if no water is available, of course!
Of all forms of legalized gambling, lotteries have the worst odds...
0.000008% of the 97 million or so people who play it annually win a million dollars.
Baltimore teens used to hold an annual contest durin the March of Dimes Walkathon...
to see who could land the best punch on a charity walker.
Tennessee was the last state to join the Confederate States of America...
it voted to secede on June 8, 1861.
Oysters only feed when the moon shines.
Dwight D. Eisenhower used to wear 3 coats of clear nail polish.
A big elm tree will produce, about, 6 million leaves in a season.
In the 1700's 1 in 7 Parisians was a beggar...
competition was feirce and many had to be innovative...
the most extreme innovation was Denatsation...
the corners of the mouth were cut to the ears, gum's removed and the nose cut off to rveal a gaping hole
One of the greatest hoaxes of all time is 'The Protocols of the Elders of Zion'...
Started by General Pyotr Rachkovsky, of the Russian secret police in the late 1800's...
he fabricated the protocols from two books, using his hoax to gain allies for Russia against a common enemy
We must not say that an action shocks the common conscience because it is criminal, but rather it is criminal because it shocks the common conscience
~Emeil Durkheim~
MAD. The only perfect realization of personality coming when insane in a madhouse, saint guarded by sinners---every moment perfect ecstacy of self-expression, Rosy Golden Flawlessness and Glamour---and when in glimmer of knowledge that one is now adjudged "insane" the world makes no difference any moreanyhow- - The Messianic complex. "Father forgive them for they know not what they do " ---Jesus is in a padded cell, Mahomet has paraldehyde shoved down his throat, Zoroaster is beaten by special guards of civilization, Buddha is alone and catatonic
~Jack Kerouac~
If you wish to be a success in the world, promise everything, deliver nothing
~Napoleon Bonapart~
The thoughtless are rarely wordless
~Howard W. Newton~
If I have been able to see farther than others, it was because I stood on the shoulders of giants
~Sir Isaac Newton~
If you'd prefer to undergo the experience of LSD without taking it, imagine sitting through Ben Hur twenty times without the midpoint intermission. Got it? Keep it
~Phillip K. Dick~
Moose...Indian...
~last words of Henry David Thoreau~
The cure for boredom is curiosity, there is no cure for curiosity
~Ellen Parr~
Always be sincere, even when you don't mean it
~Irene Peter~
Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear, but forgetting where you heard it
~Laurence Peter~
Amusement is the happiness of those who do not think
~Alexander Pope~
We must find out what words are and how they function. They become images when written down, but images of words repeated in the mind and not of the image of the thing itself
~W.S. Burroughs~
Keep as far away as you can from the places where they gather to cheat and insult one another, to exploit one another...or to mook one another with their false gestures of freindship
~Thomas Merton~
To be an artist means never to avert one's eyes
~Akira Kurosawa~
When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro
~Hunter S. Thompson~
It never got weird enough for me
~Hunter S. Thompson~
So little done. So much to do
~last words of Alexander Graham Bell~
I may not know much, but i know the difference between chicken shit and chicken salad
~Richard Nixon~
I should like that one of these days to be so well known, so popular, so celebrated, so famous, that it would permit me to break wind in society and society would think it a most natural thing
~Balzac~
Waiting are they? Waiting are they? Well, goddam 'em, let 'em wait!
~Ethan Allen, when told by a priest the angels were waiting for him~
To attack a man for talking nonsense is like finding your mortal enemy drowning in a swamp and jumping in after him with a knife
~Karl Popper~
There is a remedy for everything, it is called death
~Portugese Proverb~
Temporal immortality must be looked for in refuse, in excrement and nowhere else...I am dumbfounded by how little philosophical and metaphysical importance the human mind has attached to the capital subject of excrement
~Salvador Dali~
Much has been written of the pleasures of intercourse, as for me, give me a solid movement of the bowel
~Samuel Johnson~
It is extremely depressing that my pleasures are impeded by piles of shit. I wish that he who invented shitting, I wish that he and all his kin would be able to shit only by having it beat out of them. I know of nothing more disgusting than shitting. You see a beautiful person, neat, clean, you cry out, 'how charming if she didn't shit!' If you are thinking you are kissing a pretty little mouth with all white teeth-you are kissing a shitmill:every single delicacy, biscuits, pastries, tarts, fillings, hams, partridges, pheasants, etc. all of it exists only to be made into ground up shit
~Belletrist Liselotte~
Jose! Bring the luggage. They do not want us here
~last words of Simon Bolivar~
I do not remember ever having had the itch; yet scratching is one of the sweetest gratifications of nature, and as ready at hand as any. But repentance follows too anoyingly close at its heels. I mostly scratch my ears, which sometimes are itchy on the inside
~Michel Eyquem Montaigne~
To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offence
~Ambrose Bierce~
You should have thought of all this before you were born
~N.F. Simpson~
There is one thing stronger than all the armies in the world, and that is an idea whose time has come
~Victor Hugo~
I am better now
~last words of D.H. Lawrence~
Anger is never without an argument, but seldom with a good one
~Marquis of Halifax~
I go to seek a vast perhaps
~Francois Rebelais~
The tyrant dies and his rule is over, the martyr dies and his rule begins
~Soren Kierkegaard
Evolution loves death more than it loves you or me
~Annie Dillard~
Commandment number One in any civilized society should be this: Let people be different
~David Grayson~
We have rudiments of reverence for the human body, but we consider as nothing the rape of the human mind
~Eric Hoffer~
If the nations economists where laid end to end, they would point in all directions
~Arthur Motley~
I am an idealist. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way
~Carl Sandburg~
Never hunt a rabbit with a dead dog
~Charlie Chan~
I think that people want peace so much that one of these days the government had better get out of their way and let them have it
~Dwight D. Eisenhower~
We often do good that we may do harm with impunity
~La Rochefoucauld~
One cloud is enough to eclipse all the sun
~John Fuller~
What is this so-called reality; what is this theory but a beautiful though totally human fantasy?
~MC Escher~
It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information
~Bertrand Russell~
Maybe this world is just another planet's hell
~Aldous Huxley~
A sodomite got very excited looking at a zoology text. Does this make it pornography?
~Stanislaw Lec~
All men are forced into 2 categories; those with eleven fingers and those without
~Ned Rorem~
I wonder why he shot me?
~last words of Huey Long~
TV - chewing gum for the eyes
~Frank Lloyd Wright~
A banker is a person who is willing to make a loan if you can show sufficient evidence you don't need it
~Herbert V. Prochnow~
Practical politics consists in ignoring facts
~Henry Adams~
The atomic age is here to stay.....but are we?
~Bennett Cerf~
Gross ignorance.....144 times worse than ordinary ignorance
~Anonymous~
Weed.....a plant whose virtues have not been discovered yet
~Ralph Waldo Emerson~
I have a terrible headache.
~last words of Franklin D. Roosevelt~
A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to
~Laurance J. Peter~
