What I do have is a guy named Rocky Manson playing the Go-Go's in my closet. I've got an illegal 40-watt transmitter in my bedroom and a 50-foot antenna on my roof-equipment that has allowed me to broadcast music to the greater San Fransisco area (lie!) for just over two years now. Sure, it's a federal offense. In theory, I could be fined up to $100,000 by the FCC and serve up to 10 years in prison for my supposed misdeeds, but someone's got to do this, and it may as well be me.

Face it. People with lots of cash and little if any taste are controlling America's airwaves, making traditional radio boring and repetitive. That's why I can sing songs in my sleep that I would normally never listen to. The pay-to-play scandals of the 80's (when radio programmers were bribed by independent promoters to add records to their playlists) have evolved into more subtle forms of pressure, but the effect is still the same: Talent doesn't always ensure multiplatinum success. Money does. This is not only sad but unfair when there are so many amazing but unknown artists in the world.