A Tear

As I lifted the black hair from your face, turning your cheek I saw a tear. It was not a tear of joy for they are larger and blurry, it was not a tear of pain for they are long and equal.....yours was a tear of hurt....it was singular and small, clear and did not move much...sitting in your eye... calling. Like a mirror your eye reflected its way into my heart and drew my mind closer to you.

I only approach you now because I knew you were banging your fists on my chest out of your own anger, your own frustration. Pondering....it is the same chest you warmly liked to cuddle and rest your cheek upon in the early morning looking into my eye.....the softness of your cheek meeting together with my smooth breast. Smiling...I liked that too my love...especially with flowers and harp music as the sun entered the room. To be certain I did and do carry a boxful of angst...but you....you carried all the anger of the world inside. I never showed you my tears.....shedding them instead to my forest friends. What were you so angry about? Did you not see that that anger was engulfing you....consumming you...affecting us?

When I cried I cried because I wanted to give you all the rainbows I could collect from the skies. You deserved them...I could see what you could not trust. But you could not accept from me....would not let me give to you. At one point I too was so angry with you that I hated you....that was a difficult thing to do because as much as I tried, it felt like I was flicking a switch to make it happen instead of it naturally occuring. I know you were in pain and I know you were hurting....I saw you get up in the middle of the night and sit on the window sill looking out into the moonlight. Did you not realize that my rythym was related closely to yours? I could tell whether or not your day was negative or positive...it was simple. While you were angry, I was both angry and sad.....angry I could not give to you and sad knowing it would never change. It was very very hard to love you when you do not have any concept of your glorious beauty....because you cannot accept that I would find any beauty in you. Without this there can be no back and forth, no sharing and sadly no change nor growth.