this morning wrapped an overpowering feeling of death abt me. tried to shake it as best i cd, but even robert pollard's mumblesinging mined that same vein. an omen - those who know me are well aware of my intuition and superstition...i come by both naturally. yet try, try, try- i cd not tear that shroud. i knew nothing, as i left for work at day's dawning.
was it 1993 when i saw jeff buckley? or 1992? it was contemporanously with _live at sin e' _ that very first time. he opened for alejandro escovedo at the cactus cafe.....i do remember it was late fall, early winter....and that older, respectful crowd just didn't get it. i arrived at the tail end of the set, and afterward, people shook their heads. it was the type reaction that only the really unique artists receive....can't pigeonhole, but can't put 'im down. jeff played solo that night.
several months later...or was it a year.... february i want to say, jeff played austin again....a hippie, lesbian coffee house theatre called chicago house. there he was with a band, and the house was packed. and people got it. i sat to jeff's left side. also there, my then boyfriend who wanted to photograph jeff again...and my bf's friend who wanted to sleep with jeff...or what was it? oblivion. my total awareness was jeff buckley ripping the viscera from my spine. flu-like chills, to the point of confusion...maybe like the confusion i feel now...i don't know. i liked _grace_, but it never cd match what i saw, heard and felt that night.
maybe i pen this memento prematurely...i hope to whatever power there might be that i am. and the dawn's early spectre that pulled like the undertow appeared for no reason..or some other reason.
tragedy is tragedy, no matter who are victims and who are left behind. but the keeness of my sadness guts me, much as that young man did on the cold austin night, not so long ago....
*****