Have you ever met anyone whose name is DeForest ?
If the Enterprise is supposed to be such a powerful ship, how come it can be taken over by aliens so easily ? It happened at least five times on the original Star Trek alone. Starfleet should issue their captains with a Krooklok.
The Enterprise keeps encountering older, wiser civilisations whose philosophies resemble whatever pop-psychology bilge reigns in America at the time: 60's hippie relativism in Star Trek, 80's innner-child toss in Next Generation, and 90's identity politics in Voyager and Deep Space Nine.
Captain Janeway: Joyce Grenfell in a leotard.
Chekov and Sulu: What's the difference.
The Captain's log and all its attendant jokes.
Dilithium crystals: clunking plot devise, or custom-made punchline to every other Start Trek joke ?
The "fully coherent and usable" Kilingon language. Who cares ?
Have you ever met antone whose surname was Janeway ?
Counsellor Troi and her enormously useful "empath" talent of stating the bleedin' obvious e.g. vicious aliens blow up the moon, Troi's insight? "I sense .. aggression."
Rikers beard: badly concealed chinlessness, just like Gerry Adams.
Scotty: how come he never says, "Och, hoots the noo, Captain"?
There are no fatties on the Enterprise. Anyone who's been to America will recognise this for the desperate wish-fulfilment it is.
Picards habit of fiddling with his uniform whenever he has to face Jonny Alien.
Start Trek: The Motion Picture. Ooh! It's not just a load of B-movie tubsters reuniting in desperation. It's a Motion Picture!
They have a planet called Bringloid 5.
The Starfleet uniform introduced for the movies, which just happened to include a paunch-hidding chinky-knit sweater.
Lieutenant Tom Paris and Harry Kim on Voyager: what are they for ?
They didn't have the bottle to leave Spock dead after Wrath of Khan.
The gratuitous lesbian subplot featuring foxy Dax of Deep Space Nine.
The Klingon spaceship called the P'Rang.
William Shatner's habit of breaking up ALL OF HIS LINES. Into bite-sized. Chunks. And ramdomly SHOUTING SOME OF THEM. In the..mistaken belief. That he is. Acting. And not camping it up like a blithering old ham.
No one reads anything except "reports".
Counsellor Troi sits next to Picard on the bridge: by the 25th century social workers will be more important than the guys who work the phasers.
Scotty's accent. Come on, is he Scottish or Irish or what ?
Whoopi Goldberg.
Every character has to go mad or get possessed by aliens at least once, in order that they can act out their Designated National Stereotype (viz. Chekov doing a Cossack sabre dance on the bridge).
The transporter beam is easier to jam than medium-wave radio. Result: endless, repetative negotiations with local despots for the return of Tasha Yar, McCoy or some ambassadors who look like giant halibut.
Tribbles.
Captain Janeway's chin.
Wesley Crusher. Who let that child onto the bridge ? A focus group of Californian idiots, that's who.
You can always tell who's going to die.
The Borg. A lame rip-off of the Cybermen and not nearly as frightening.
There are no seatbelts on the Enterprise.
The holo-deck. So there isn't enough going on in infinite space to make this series interesting ?
Captain Janeway's hair: the 25th century's answer to the Margret Thatcher cut.
The old laughing-into-warp-drive finale that ends three out of four episodes.
All Star Trek fans.
Particularly the ones who say,"It's not 'Trekkie', it's 'Trekker'."
And the ones who can do the Vulcan live-long-and-prosper sign.