I removed the sheet of paper from the printer and placed it in the stack. My rickety desk was total chaos as usual, so I had to move the framed picture of Brian and me that I always had with me. I smiled as I remembered that summer almost a year ago.
I had moved out of my parents' house a few months ago and rented an apartment in Lexington. It wasn't much, but it was mine. I was working as a secretary assistant for the editor of the local newspaper. It wasn't exactly an exciting job, but I liked my boss and the pay was good.
I glanced at the clock and sighed with relief. It was 4:00 and time to go home. I shut down the computer, turned off the printer and grabbed my backpack and jacket from the back of the chair. Waving goodbye to everyone, I left the building and walked the three blocks to my apartment.
I unlocked the door and went inside. Tossing my keys and backpack on the table, I flopped down on the couch and prepared myself for a quiet afternoon. I closed my eyes, thinking again of Brian, the guys, and all the good times we'd had. I still had all the notes and cards that they'd ever given me. The ones they'd given me before I moved were in my back pocket, where I always kept them. I pulled them out and clenched them in my hand. I felt tears coming to my eyes as I thought of that last morning with the guys.
I couldn't just sit here missing them all night. I had to find something to do. I called Pride, taking her leash off the hook on the wall. "Here, Pride! Come on! Let's go for a walk!"
Pride skittered around the corner on two legs, coming out of the bedroom. She barked and jumped while I hooked the leash onto her collar.
Walking down the street, I didn't see anyone I recognized. What did I expect? I'd only lived here for a couple of months. I'd probably eventually meet people.
Walking past a small restaurant, I almost crashed into a young man who was coming out. I stopped abruptly, and Pride yipped.
"Oh, God, I'm so sorry." I was so embarrassed that I was talking about a mile a minute. "I was thinking, and I guess I wasn't paying attention. God, I'm so stupid! I…"
The guy held up his hands. He wasn't bad looking. He was wearing a Wildcats jersey and a pair of jeans. He reminded me of someone, though I couldn't figure out whom.
"Hey, it's OK," he said, smiling. Wow, what a smile. "I'm still alive. Are you OK?"
I nodded, starting to calm down. "Yeah, I'm fine," I said. "I'm really sorry." Then, noticing that Pride was sniffing around the guy's shoes, I jerked her away. "Pride, stop that!" I said sharply. Pride snorted, then yipped again.
For a brief instant, the guy looked like he was deep in thought. "Pride," he said to himself. Then, louder, he said, "I'm sorry, but by any chance, is your first name Kayla?"
The way he said my name reminded me of Brian. But how did he know me? I'd never seen him in my life.
"Yeah, my name's Kayla," I said, confused.
He must have picked up on what I was thinking, because he laughed a little. "I guess you don't have strange guys who know your name crashing into you every day, huh?"
I just shook my head.
He held out his hand. "Well, in that case," he said, "I'm Harold. Harold Littrell. I'm Brian's brother."
My jaw nearly hit the pavement. No wonder he reminded me of Brian! I shook his hand. "Nice to meet you," I said. "Or, rather, run you down."
He laughed. "Ditto," he said, "and, really, it's no big deal. That was nothing compared to some of the stuff I've done."
I smiled. "I'm sure you're just saying that, but thanks for making me feel better anyway." Then I added, "By the way, how did you know my name?"
Harold shook his head, smiling. "Are you kidding? You and basketball are the only things Little Brother ever talks about!"
I was flattered. "Really?" I asked.
Harold nodded. "Speaking of Brian, he's going to be home tonight, you gonna be around?"
I was so happy I nearly jumped up and down. "Yeah. I live right down the street from here now. I moved here a couple months ago to take a job at the paper."
"Great!" he said. "I know Brian would love to see you again. Actually, my parents would love to meet you, since they've heard so much about you. What would you think of that?"
"I'd love to meet them!" I said. "Brian told me so much about you and his parents."
Harold laughed. "Yeah, that sounds like good old Brian, always shooting his mouth off," he said. I couldn't help but laugh.
"So," Harold said. "How does tonight sound?"
I had no idea what he was talking about at first. Then I realized he was talking about me meeting his parents.
"Sure," I said, nodding. "That would be great. But…I don't have a clue where you live."
Harold looked down, thinking. "Well…if you're heading home any time soon, I could walk with you, and that way I'd know where you live. Then I could come and pick you up later on."
"Sounds good," I said. "I wasn't really going anywhere in particular anyway, I was just going for a walk to save myself from insanity."
"Well, that's one of the few interesting things to do around here," he said.
I shrugged. "I don't know, I kind of like it here," I said. "I just wish I knew someone."
Harold looked at me. "Well, now you do," he said with a smile. I looked down at the pavement. Then, bending down to tie my shoe, I said, "Well, congratulations. You're the first." We laughed.
We stopped in front of my building. "Well, this is it," I said. "Thanks for walking with Pride and me." I reached out to shake his hand again.
Harold returned the gesture. "It was my pleasure," he said. "In fact, thank you for letting me walk with you." Then he added, "Should I come back around 6?"
I glanced at my watch. It was almost 5. I had time. I nodded. "Yeah, sounds great," I said. "Thanks!"
I opened the door to the building and started to go inside. "Nice meeting you!" Harold yelled after me.
I turned around. "Same here!" I said, waving. Then Pride and I trotted up the stairs to my apartment.
I unhooked Pride's leash, then went to the window and watched Harold walk down the street.
Pride asked to be picked up. Picking her up and hugging her, I said, "Sweetness must run in that family. What do you think?" Pride just looked at me and wagged her tail.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I waited for Harold downstairs in the lobby. I'd decided to bring Pride with me so Brian could see how much she'd grown.
At a couple minutes after 6, a truck pulled up next to the curb. Harold got out and walked toward the door.
"Hi!" I said as we met in the doorway.
Harold smiled and reached down to pet Pride. "Hello again," he said. "Brian just got home about half an hour ago."
"Does he know I'm coming?" I asked as we got in the truck.
"Nope," Harold said, turning the key in the ignition. "My mom thought it would be fun to surprise him, and I agreed. I just told him I was going out for a ride."
I smiled. "It's going to be great to see him again. I can't wait," I said.
Harold glanced over at me as he turned down a side street. "They're all there, you know. They're staying in hotels in the area."
I thought I was going to cry. It was amazing enough that I was going to see one of them again, let alone all of them. This had to be one of the best days of my life.
We rode in silence for a few minutes, until Harold pulled into a driveway. "Here we are," he said, turning the engine off.
I was amazed. The house was beautiful. "Wow, this is really nice," I said, picking Pride up off the seat and getting out of the truck. I set her down on the ground, then shut the door.
"Yeah, it's home," Harold said, jumping out of the truck and slamming the door.
Apparently Brian had heard the truck pull into the driveway, because he came outside. When he saw me standing there, he stopped dead in his tracks.
"Oh, my God," he said. "Kayla!" He jumped down the steps, ran over to me and hugged me.
"I can't believe I'm here!" I said. "If it wasn't for my notorious clumsiness, I wouldn't be."
Brian laughed. "I wouldn't say you're the world's biggest klutz," he said.
"Well, your brother may beg to differ," I said, hugging him again.
Brian glanced at Harold. "Say what?"
Harold stepped over to Brian, grabbed him, and put him in a playful headlock. "Well, let's just say we…ran into each other," he said. Then he let go of Brian and shoved him, nearly knocking him over.
Brian glared at his brother, then smiled. "See what I have to put up with?" he said to me. "And you wonder why I don't come home more often!" Then, picking Pride up so she wouldn't nip at his heels, he added, "Speaking of home, what are you doing here in the boonies, anyway?"
I laughed. "This is home now," I said. "I moved here not too long ago. I'm a secretary assistant at the paper."
"Wow," Brian said, impressed. Then, adding his jokes as usual, he said, "You're not stalking me, are you?"
I decided to play along. "Damn!" I yelled. "You found me out! I was trying to be inconspicuous. Why the hell do you have to be so intelligent, anyway?"
Brian turned and looked around. "Intelligent? I see no sign of intelligent life anywhere!" As if on cue, AJ walked out the door.
I couldn't help it. I cracked up. "You're right, Bri, I shouldn't have said intelligent!"
AJ came down the steps. "Hey, I thought I heard you," he said to me, picking me up and giving me a hug. "Where the hell ya been?"
I smiled and punched him in the arm. "Hey, I was about to say the same for you, Slick! Weren't you supposed to call me and Andrea?"
He nodded. "Yeah, and I would have if I hadn't left your addresses and phone numbers in my room back in Orlando!"
I closed my eyes, shaking my head. "Yeah, I figured it was something like that. Now I'll have to beat you up to make up for it."
AJ jumped back a couple feet. "No! Don't hurt me!" he yelled. Then he laughed and came back over to me.
Nick and Kevin came outside. "Kayla!" Nick said. He jumped over the porch railing and trotted across the driveway to me, smacking Brian as he passed him. Brian punched him.
"Hey, Nick!" I said, hugging him. God, he'd grown. "I'm proud, you remembered my name!"
He nodded. "Consider yourself lucky. That doesn't happen too often."
Kevin interrupted our conversation. "Good to see ya again, K," he said, giving me his famous bear hug.
"I missed you, Kev," I said, burying my face in his shirt for the first time in nearly a year. I could tell he hadn't changed a bit. He was still the same loving, caring person he always was.
Brian shoved past AJ and Kevin and came over to me. "OK, someone wanna tell me why we're standing around outside?" he asked, putting his arm around my shoulder.
AJ and Nick looked at each other. They shrugged. I had to laugh. They hadn't lost that cuteness that I loved so much.
Everyone laughed along with me, and we went inside. Pride barked happily and bounded up the stairs behind me.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The house was as beautiful inside as it was outside. Someone did a lot of work to keep this place looking the way it did, especially with Brian around.
A woman with auburn hair appeared from around the corner in the living room. She was smiling. "Hello!" she said. "You must be Kayla."
I smiled. Brian stepped over next to the woman and said, "Mom, this is Kayla. Kayla, meet my mom."
"It's nice to meet you," I said, smiling and shaking her hand. "Brian's told me a lot about you and his father, Mrs. Littrell."
She smiled. "Please, call me Jackie," she said. "We've heard a lot about you too, dear."
"I hope it wasn't all bad," I said.
She shook her head. "No, none of it. Brian has nothing but praise for you. You mean a lot to him. I can see why," she said.
I was positive I was blushing. I had no idea I'd had that much of an effect on Brian.
Suddenly, I remembered something. I'd been so excited that I hadn't noticed someone was missing. "Where's Howie?" I asked.
"He's outside," Brian said. "You know he likes to have some time for himself once in a while. He's out back by the brook. I can take you out there if you want."
I shook my head. "No, that's OK," I said. "I'll find him. I can't be that retarded."
Brian laughed. "Well, you never know," he said. Jackie shot him a dirty look, and he stuck out his tongue at her.
I laughed. "You're a disrespectful bum," I said. Brian took a bow. "I'll be back in a while," I added. "I'm gonna go find D. Watch Pride for me." Brian nodded as I went out the door.
I took a deep breath as I crossed the backyard toward the edge of the woods. I couldn't wait to see him again. My life was completely different when he wasn't around.
I came to the edge of the woods. I could see Howie already. He was sitting with his back against a tree, looking up at the sky. He wasn't facing me, so he didn't know I was coming.
I walked up behind him, then leaned down and kissed his forehead. He looked up and a smile instantly crossed his face. "Kayla!" he said.
I knelt next to him under the tree. He sat up and hugged me for what seemed like hours. I held back tears of joy as I hugged him back. He gently rubbed my back and ran his hand through my hair. "I missed you, K," he said in my ear.
I broke away from him and leaned back against the tree, then put my head on his shoulder. "I missed you too," I said.
Howie put his arm around me and squeezed my shoulder. "How's life been treating ya?" he asked.
"Great," I said. "I should be asking you, though. How are you doing with everything? I mean, Caroline…I've been praying for you ever since I heard about that."
He sighed. "I'm doing better now. Time heals all, I guess. We had a lot of support from everyone, so that helped a lot."
"Yeah, I guess it must help a lot to have your best friends there to help you out," I said.
Howie looked at me. "Yeah," he said. Then he added, "I've thought about you and all the ways you've been there for me a lot over the past few months."
"Well, you're one of my best friends," I said. "I really care about you. And God knows you deserve to be happy."
Howie shrugged. "I guess everyone does," he said. "What about you? Are you lying to me? Are you really happy?"
I nodded. "Yeah, I'm doing great. Lexington is home now. I work for the newspaper."
"Oh," Howie said. "So that's how you got here."
I laughed. "Yeah, I had a run-in with Harold downtown this morning."
"I don't even wanna know," Howie said, smiling and shaking his head. One strand of hair fell out of his ponytail into his face.
He froze for a minute, a mock scowl crossing his face. "Dammit!" he said, and reached behind his head to take out the elastic and fix his hair.
"Hey!" I said, grabbing his arm. "Hold up there, Skippy! I haven't seen your hair down since you grew it out. Lemme see!"
He sighed. "Fine," he said and pulled the elastic out of his hair. His hair fell down around his face and into his eyes. He shook his head a little.
"Not bad," I said. His hair was almost down to his shoulders now. "Not bad at all." I reached out and brushed it out of his eyes. He took my hand, then gave it a gentle squeeze. He looked at me with that deep gaze again.
Without a word, I smiled and stood up. I offered him my hand, and he took it and stood up. Hand in hand, we walked back to the house.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
As soon as we got in the house, we were attacked, so to speak.
Brian bounded over to me, laughing. "What, did you guys have a moment out there?" he asked.
I grabbed his chin and squeezed it. "Yeah, as a matter of fact, we did!" I said, laughing. I shoved him gently. "What were you doing, spying on me?"
Brian held up his hands the exact same way Harold had earlier. "I'm innocent!" he said. "It was Nick!"
"Yeah, sure, blame it on Nick," Nick said, coming over and standing next to me. "It's always Nick's fault." He smiled down at me.
He'd always been a lot taller than me, but now I felt like an elf standing next to him. "Good God," I said. "What'd you do, grow two feet? Dammit, give me some of those steroids! Didn't your mom ever teach you to share?"
The room filled with laughter. Even Jackie thought it was funny.
"He's been holding out on me all these years," Brian said, "so if he gives you the goods now I'll have to start planning his accidental death."
"I'll help ya!" I said, stepping behind Nick. I put my arms around his stomach and tickled him.
Nick jumped. "Hey, cut that out!" he said. He grabbed my hands, then pulled me back out in front of him. "Don't make me take drastic action!" He laughed and let go of me.
"Hey, you guys wanna go in the living room so we don't have to stand around out here?" Brian asked.
I nodded. "Good idea," I said. Brian, Nick, Howie and I headed for the living room.
AJ, Kevin and Harold were already in there, watching videotaped episodes of South Park. Howie and Nick flopped into the two armchairs. Since the other three were already on the couch, Brian and I sat on the floor. Pride trotted into the room and jumped in Brian's lap.
"You still watch this, AJ?" I asked. "You must have seen every episode a million times by now!" I slid back on the floor and leaned against Kevin's knees, stretching my legs out in front of me.
"Damn straight I have!" AJ said in his best Cartman voice. Then, in his normal voice, he said, "I can quote every episode, if you missed any," he said, smiling.
I looked over at him. "Thanks but no thanks," I said. "I know you too well, Bone. If you get going you'll never stop!"
Kevin put his hand on my shoulder. "Thank you, K!" he said. "You have just saved us all from a slow and agonizing death."
I leaned my head back in his lap and looked up at him. "Have no fear, I will save you!" I said. "By the way, you look good upside down."
He laughed. "Yeah, I bet," he said. He put his hand over my face.
I pulled his hand away. "You got a license for that?" I asked him, smiling. I turned around again. "So, how did the tour go?" I asked.
"It was cool," Nick said. "First big US tour, it was awesome."
I laughed. "Thank you for those sentence fragments," I said. "Your insight was wonderful."
Howie looked at me. "He's right though, it was great," he said. "We had a lot of fun. It's great to be doing well at home."
"God, you're so serious," I said to him. "Don't you ever kid around?"
He smiled. "Yeah, just not with AJ in my presence," he said. "He puts me in a foul mood."
AJ glared at him. "Funny, D," he said. "I love you, too!"
Brian leaned back and looked at AJ with mock disgust. "Alexander James! I never knew! All this time…all those girls…it was just a cover-up?"
AJ grabbed the pillow that was sitting on the arm of the couch and pelted Brian with it. "Take that, filthy swine!" he yelled, laughing. Brian threw the pillow back at him. I ducked as it flew past me.
"OK!" I yelled. "Is anyone actually going to watch this?" I got a lively chorus of "no"'s.
"Uh, just a question, then," I said. "Why in the name of God is the TV on?"
"Cuz Harold turned it on!" Brian yelled, still laughing at AJ.
I laughed, then grabbed the pillow from AJ and threw it at Brian. It hit him in the face. Pride jumped up and yipped, then curled up again in Brian's lap.
"Hey!" Brian said. "I almost think I resent that!" He tossed the pillow back at me. It missed and hit Kevin instead.
Kevin glared at Brian. "OK, now you're gonna die!" he said. "You're lucky Kayla's in front of me, otherwise you'd be a dead man."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
We spent the rest of the evening just hanging around, catching up on the time we'd missed. I completely lost track of the time, and didn't realize how late it was until I glanced at the clock and realized it was almost midnight.
"I really should get going," I said, standing up. "I'm going to fall asleep here and now if I don't get home soon."
Harold looked up at me. "You want a ride?" he asked.
I shook my head. "No, thanks," I said. "I can walk, it's not that far."
I said goodbye to everyone and thanked Jackie. Then, putting Pride on her leash, we left for home.
I had gotten to the end of the driveway before Brian caught up to me. "Mind if I walk with you?" he asked.
I shook my head. "Of course not," I said. "Actually, I'd really like it if you did."
He smiled. "You know, it was really great to see you again. I missed you a lot."
I put my hand in my pocket. "You know the weird thing?" I asked. "I was just thinking about you guys today at work, then I ran into Harold in town."
He nodded. "One of those freak incidents, huh?"
I smiled. "Yeah, it kind of reminded me of that time on the island when you asked me if I believed in fate."
He looked at me. "You remember that?" he asked.
I nodded.
"Wow," he said. "So, do you? Believe in fate, I mean?"
I laughed. "Well, before today, I was kind of doubtful, but I think now I'm a firm believer!"
He nodded. "Me too. I mean, how else would you explain us being here now?"
I looked up at the sky and raised my shoulders. "I don't know, unbelievably bad luck on my behalf?" I looked back at him and smiled.
"Oh, take a nap," he said. He put his arm around me and pulled me a little closer to him.
I put my head on his shoulder and smiled. "Why the hell do you think I left?" I asked. "I'm essentially sleepwalking right now."
We walked the rest of the way back to my apartment in silence. I couldn't figure out if it was because we couldn't think of anything to say, or because we didn't need to.
Brian came into the building with me and walked to my door with me. I opened the door and let Pride off the leash, then came back into the hall.
"It was great to see you again," I said, reaching up to give him a hug.
He hugged me back. "I missed you," he said. "A lot." He backed up a little. "And, uh, what I told you that time, or I guess I should say what Howie told you…I still feel that way." I looked into his eyes. He leaned over and kissed me on the cheek, then turned and walked away.
I went back into the apartment and shut the door, then walked to the window and watched Brian as he walked down the sidewalk, hands in his pockets. When he went around the corner I closed the curtain, then went in my room and got ready for bed.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I woke up late the next morning. Pride jumped up on my bed and licked my face. "Thank God for weekends and 3 day a week jobs," I said to her.
I got out of bed and got dressed, then went out to the kitchen and made myself some coffee. I sat down on the couch with it and turned on the TV. There wasn't anything good on, so I settled for one of those cheesy talk shows. This one was about women caught in love triangles who wanted their husbands to make a decision. Typical, I thought. Just pay them for reading their lines and send them on their merry way. I shook my head and took a sip of my coffee.
I had been watching the show for maybe ten minutes when I heard a knock at the door. I set my coffee mug on the table and answered the door. It was Brian.
"Hi!" I said, opening the door. "Come in!"
Brian came into the apartment. "Good morning!" he said, smiling. "Did someone just wake up?"
I looked down at what I was wearing, then laughed with embarrassment. I hadn't bothered to get dressed yet, and I was still wearing my oversized Backstreet Boys t-shirt and a pair of flannel boxers. "Hey, at least you know you're loved!"
Brian laughed. "Yeah, you could say that!" he said.
"I'll be right back," I said, still laughing. "I'm going to get dressed. Go ahead and sit down if you want." I ran into my room and quickly threw on a pair of jeans and a plain blue t-shirt.
When I came back out into the kitchen Brian was sitting at the table. Pride was running around his feet, playfully nipping at his ankles.
"Better?" I asked, sitting next to him at the table. The TV was still on in the other room.
He looked over at me. "Yeah," he said, smiling. "Anyway, wanna know why I came over here?"
I laughed. "You mean it's not just because you love me so much? I'm crushed!" Then I added, "OK, why did you come here?"
"Me and the guys are going down to the church parking lot in a while to play some basketball. Do you want to come?"
"Sure!" I said, picking Pride up from the floor. "Sounds like fun! When are you planning on going?"
Brian shrugged. "I don't know, just whenever I get back to my place," he said. "We didn't really set a time or anything."
"OK," I said, standing up again. I set Pride back down. "Just let me go put my hair up, and I'll be ready to go."
Brian nodded. I ran back into my room and grabbed my hairbrush and a scrunchie off my nightstand, quickly ran the brush through my hair, then went back into the kitchen. I sat back down and put my hair in a ponytail.
"Well, that was quick!" Brian said. "You ready?"
I nodded. "I just need my shoes," I said. "They're right behind you next to the wall, could you hand them to me?"
Brian leaned over and picked up my shoes, then handed them to me. I thanked him, then put them on and tied the laces.
I stood up and put my coffee mug in the sink. "Well, I guess I'm ready," I said. I turned off the TV in the living room and grabbed a sweatshirt from the back of the couch. I put my keys in my pocket and followed Brian out into the hallway, closing and locking my front door behind him.
We walked out to the curb together. Brian had driven over instead of walking this morning. We climbed into his Jeep and drove back to his house.
When we got back to Brian's, everyone was out on the porch waiting for us. They piled into the back of the Jeep and we drove over to the church.
We all got out of the Jeep and headed over to the basketball hoop in the end of the parking lot.
Brian tossed the ball to me. "OK," he said. "Me, Kayla and AJ against Nick, Kevin and Howie."
Nick glared at Brian. "You love to get your ass kicked, don't you?" he asked.
Brian glared back at Nick. "Depends," he said. "Do you?"
I laughed. "You guys are pathetic," I said, passing the ball back to Brian. "Are we gonna play or are we gonna talk all day?"
We played a serious game for a few minutes, then started fooling around so much that we lost track of who was winning. Brian and Nick got into a playful fistfight, and then we decided it was time to quit before someone really got hurt.
We sat down under a nearby tree, watching the neighborhood kids play basketball, for a couple of hours. It was great to be with the guys again. We didn't need to be doing anything exciting to have a good time.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
It was starting to get dark outside. Brian dropped Nick, AJ, Howie and Kevin off at his house, then gave me a ride home. He walked back up to my apartment with me.
I stopped in the doorway before going inside. "I had a great time," Brian said. He leaned over to kiss me on the cheek.
I looked up at him. I'd always loved his eyes, but I'd never noticed the way you could look into them and literally get lost. His bangs were getting down in his eyes, so I reached up and brushed them away.
Brian took my hand and squeezed it. Then, letting go, he pulled me close to him. I was in shock. I couldn't believe this was happening to me.
Brian lifted my chin up with his hand, gently, and kissed me. This wasn't one of those "accidental" things. In fact, this was one of the most intentional things I had ever seen him do.
The kiss lasted for what seemed like forever, and then Brian finally pulled away from me. Neither one of us really knew what to say or do.
Brian looked down at the floor, then back at me. "OK, I feel like a fool now," he said. "I just have one thing to say. Do you remember how I wrote something about staying friends forever in that note I gave you before we left?"
I nodded, still shocked.
He took a deep breath. "Well…um…forget I ever said that. I don't want us to be friends. I want us to be much more than that."
I honestly thought I was going to pass out. This was too good to be true.
Brian must have noticed my state of shock, because he chuckled a little. "Uhhh…are you OK?" he asked.
I still couldn't quite make my body do what my brain wanted it to, so I just nodded. Then, finally, I could talk again. "I can't believe this is happening to me."
Brian smiled. "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"
I looked up at him. "That's a very, VERY good thing," I said. "Trust me." Then I added, "Tell me you're not kidding about this whole thing."
He came closer to me again, putting his arms around me and resting his chin on the top of my head. I closed my eyes to avoid passing out.
"No, I'm not," he said quietly. "I've never been more serious in my life. I just wish I could have told you sooner."
I smiled, and laid my head on his shoulder. "Well, I kind of had a feeling you felt the same way for me that I felt for you, but I wasn't sure, so I never said anything," I said. "But you know, you're not the only one that wants us to be more than friends."
He hugged me a little tighter. "Good. That's a sign that I really might not be psycho." We laughed, and then lapsed into another awkward silence.
After a minute Brian let go of me again. "I should be getting back to my parents' place," he said. "Ummmmm…yeah. There was something else I wanted to say, but I don't think I really need to."
I smiled up at him again. "No, you don't," I said. "Well, you're right though, you should spend some time with your parents." Then, shoving him playfully, I added, "Now get out! Go home!"
Brian kissed me again, quickly and lightly this time. Then he turned and started to walk down the hall. With my head still in the clouds and feeling on top of the world, I went back into my apartment and got ready for bed, with my mind only partially on what I was doing.
I had gone back inside too quickly to notice that Brian had stopped walking and turned around again a few feet from the stairway. He stood there until I had been inside for a few minutes. Then, softly, he said, "I love you, Kayla." Then he turned again, headed down the stairs, and left the building.
I stood in my window again, watching him get in the Jeep and shut the door.
As he started the vehicle and pulled away, I put my hand up to the glass in the window, as if reaching out to touch him, or to keep him there with me. "I love you, Brian," I whispered, a single tear of happiness running down my face. When the Jeep was out of sight, I turned off the kitchen light, and walked into my bedroom, in the comfort of the darkness.