Friends Forever
Written by Amanda

I stood in the doorway, waiting for Howie to answer the door. "Hey, D!" I yelled through the screen door. "You gonna come open the door, or am I gonna bust you up?"

Brian came to the door instead. "Hey, Kayla!" he said, giving me a quick, friend-to-friend kiss on the cheek. "Come on in. Howie's in his room with the shades pulled and the door shut. He won't come out."

Ever since I had met the guys backstage at a concert, through my cousin the roadie, I'd been friends with all of them. But Howie, Brian and I had become extremely close over the past few months. Brian was better than a brother to me, and so was Howie. There was something special between all of us, something that not even I could put my finger on. When something was bothering one of them, it killed me.

"I'll go see if I can get him to come out," I said.

"Good luck," Brian said, winking at me. "You'll need it." He picked up a magazine and flopped down on the couch in the living room.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I slowly walked down the hall toward Howie's room, wondering what on earth could be bothering him. Howie was usually so happy and upbeat. It wasn't like him to get this down about anything.

I stopped in front of his bedroom door, which was covered with photos of his friends and family. Howie wasn't much on posters. Practically everything he owned had photos glued all over it. Nick thought it was annoying, but I thought it was the sweetest, cutest thing I had ever seen.

I knocked gently on the door. "Howie?" I called. "It's me. Can I come in?"

"Yeah, do what you want," came the surprisingly cold voice from inside the room. I had never heard him snap like that before. I didn't think he ever would, especially not at me. I opened the door, stepped inside, and closed the door behind me.

Howie's room was immaculate. I'd never seen anyone with such a flair for neatness before. I admired him for that, since I was about as neat as the local garbage dump.

He was sprawled out on his bed, which was against one wall. He hadn't even gotten dressed yet. He was still wearing his flannel boxers, and he was shirtless. I couldn't help but stare a little, but I didn't think he noticed.

I sat down on the edge of his bed, down near his feet. I tickled his bare foot a little. "What's wrong, D?" I asked.

He jerked his foot away and smiled at me a little. Then, as if he had just remembered he was supposed to be upset, the grin faded as quickly as it had come. He sighed heavily, and I was almost positive I saw tears in his eyes.

I moved up closer to him and sat with my back against the wall. I played with his hair a little, and decided to let him tell me what was wrong on his own time.

Suddenly Howie sat up. I was afraid he was going to yell at me, but he didn't. Instead he looked at me, staring intensely into my face. He gave me a hug and said, "Thanks for coming in. I need someone to talk to."

"Why didn't you talk to Brian when he asked you earlier what was wrong?"

Howie sighed again, then laid back down, putting his head in my lap. "He's too close to the situation. I don't really want to get him involved. He and Nick are real close, and I don't want to make him take sides." He closed his eyes.

I was confused. "What does this have to do with Nick?"

Howie looked at me. "Well...it's kind of a long story."

"You know that doesn't matter to me," I said. "You're one of my best friends. I'll listen to you all day if you want."

He smiled, then sat up. "Do you really want to listen to me whine?"

I tugged on his ear. "You know it, D!"

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Alright..." he hesitated. "You know Nick's friend Kiersten?" I nodded. I had met her a few times, and I couldn't stand the girl. "Well, you know how she's kind of been after me?"

"Yeah...and?"

"Well, she started all these rumors about how I supposedly tried to take advantage of her. And Nick believes it. So, not only is he pissed at me, but his whole family and most of his friends are, too." He laid back down again, staring up at the ceiling.

"Did you tell Nick your side of it?" I asked. "I mean, you two are friends."

"He won't listen to me," Howie said, closing his eyes. "He won't hear me out. I try to talk to him, and he walks away."

"Doesn't he think it's a little odd that you'd even like her like that?" I asked. "I mean, you're 25. She's 16."

"Yeah, I know. But then again, you're only 19. There's not that much difference."

"Well, I'm not exactly your love slave either," I said.

"Good point," he said. "But either way, he won't listen to me."

"You know what I think?" I asked him.

"What?"

"I think that if you both let it go, it will work itself out." Howie sat up again and leaned on me. "I'll talk to Nick, see if I can get him to hear your side of it," I said.

Howie reached up and put his arm around me. "Look," he said, "if you don't want to get into this, you don't have to. I just needed someone to talk to."

I messed up his hair just enough to bug him. "What you need is to put some clothes on," I said. "It's almost 11:00."

"Yeah, I guess I've moped and complained long enough. Besides, Brian's going to start wondering what's going on in here." He laughed. "And by the way, next time you touch my hair, I'll rip your arm off."

I gave him my best tough girl look. "And if you keep talking to me like that, I'll rip something else off, if you know what I mean." Howie faked a look of horror. "You're a cutie," I said, messing up his hair again.

"I know I am," he said, getting up off the bed. "And I think you're right. I need to, like, put some clothes on." He went over to his closet and pulled out a pair of dark blue Levi's and a tight black t-shirt. "I'll be out in a minute," he said.

"OK...you mean you don't want me to stand here and watch you get naked?" I laughed.

"Well, if you want, but..." he trailed off, laughing.

"Good point, D. I think I'll go harass Brian for a few minutes." I left the room, shaking my head and smiling.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I walked back into the living room. Brian was still lying on the couch, reading his magazine. Even though he was too much like a brother to me for there to be any real interest, I knew he was a hottie. And today was no exception. He was looking good in his flannel pajama bottoms and baggy Hilfiger t-shirt. Even though he was casually dressed, to say the lest, I couldn't help but check him out a little.

He looked up. "Hey, I told you he wouldn't come out."

"As a matter of fact," I said, "he'll be out in a minute. He's getting dressed."

"Getting dressed?" Brian yelled. "What the hell did you do to that boy? I mean, I know girls kinda have a way with him, but..."

"Yeah, don't be getting any ideas," I said. "We were just talking. He wasn't dressed when I went in. He was still in his boxers."

"So what's wrong with him?" Brian asked, putting down his magazine and standing up off the couch. He walked over to me and gave me one of his famous bear hugs. He picked me up off the floor completely, swung me around a couple of times, then set me back down on the back of the couch. Just before he let go, I could feel the muscles in his chest and stomach pressed against me.

"You're obnoxious," I said, play-kicking him.

He dodged my foot, but I still hit him in the butt. "Yeah, and you love me anyway," he said.

"You're right. I do." I smiled.

"You meant that in a non-sexual way, I assume?" he asked.

"Right," I said. Maybe.

"Damn," he said. That was what I liked about Brian. He never failed to make me laugh.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Howie came into the kitchen. "What's so funny?" he asked, pouring some hot water into a mug and reaching for a teabag.

Brian and I walked into the kitchen. "You missed it, D," Brian said. "You had to be there."

"You always fail to inform me," Howie said, heading for the small table with his tea. As he walked past Brian, he punched him in the shoulder.

"Ow!" Brian said. "That hurt!"

Howie set down his cup and flexed his hand. "I think it hurt me more than it did you," he said. "What you got in there, rocks?"

Brian grinned. "Yup," he said, pulling up his sleeve and flexing. "I'm a manly man." We all laughed.

Brian and I sat down at the table with Howie. "So, who's coming to the surprise party for August today?" Brian asked. August was one of my best friends, and today was her birthday.

I pulled a folded piece of paper out of my pocket and opened it. "Let's see," I said. "You, me, Howie, Kevin, AJ, Nick, Bre, Andrea and August's older sister, Heather."

"Rock on," Howie said. "At least this thing won't be huge."

I leaned back in my chair. "I still think Nick and August would make a good couple. We should hook them up."

We heard the front door open. "What about Nick?" a deep voice asked from the doorway.

Kevin walked into the kitchen. AJ came in a couple of seconds later, wearing his sunglasses as usual. Up until the last time I had seen him, he'd had dreadlocks, but now he'd shaved them off.

"Boner!" I yelled, jumping out of my chair. "What the hell happened to your head?" I ran over to him and gave him a hug. Then I reached up and rubbed his head. He was almost bald. He laughed and smacked my chin playfully. I smiled up at him.

Kevin came over for his hug. People had always told me he was cold, but he was exactly the opposite. He was a teddy bear. He hugged me, and I buried my face in his light blue Adidas jersey.

"When's Nick going to be here with August?" AJ asked.

"We told him to bring her at 6:00 tonight," I said, pulling away from Kevin. "That way we'll have plenty of time to get things ready."

"Oh, yeah," Kevin said. "It's only noon now. That's great, we've got a ton of time."

There was a knock on the door. Brian and I went to answer it.

August's sister Heather was standing on the porch. "Hey, guys!" she said. Her long brown hair was blowing in the wind. Heather was a pretty girl, but a little on the chubby side. AJ had a thing for her, and he didn't try to hide it. "Can somebody help me with all the decorations and stuff? There's a ton of it."

AJ ran out and stood behind Brian and me. "Me! Me!" he said. "I'm bored, let me help!" He went out the door and walked Heather to her car. He even opened the door for her.

Brian and I glanced at each other and laughed. "He likes her," Brian said to me.

"Thank you, Einstein, for stating the obvious." I opened the door and headed toward Heather's car.

"Hey!" Brian yelled after me, following me outside. "Einstein's cool!" He jumped down the steps, chased me to the car, and caught me just before I got to it. He wrapped one arm around my shoulders. "Gotcha!" he said. He kissed the top of my head, then let me go.

Heather handed me a huge stuffed tiger. "Can you do me a favor and wrap this?" she asked. "It's from Nick. He asked me to bring it so August wouldn't see it."

I took it and looked at it. It was white with a fluffy blue satin bow tied around its neck. "She'll love it!" I said. August loved animals, especially the stuffed variety.

I took the tiger into the house and set it on the couch. "Hey, Howie?" I called.

"Yeah?"

"Do you guys have any wrapping paper?"

"I think so," he said. "Look in the closet in the hall."

I opened the closet door. Down on the floor was about half a roll of red paper.

Howie walked into the hall behind me. He leaned his chin on the top of my head. "Did you find any?" he asked.

"Yeah, I did. Thanks." I grabbed the paper and the tiger and went back into the kitchen.

"Hey, guys," I said, setting everything on the table. "I hate to be a party pooper, but I need the table." Howie grabbed his empty mug and went back into the living room. Kevin stood up and pushed his chair in. I set the tiger down in a chair and spread the paper out on the table.

"You need any help?" Kevin asked.

I looked up at him and smiled. "Sure!" I said. I handed him the tape. "Here, hold this."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

We finished wrapping August's gift and set it in a chair. "You think she'll like it?" Kevin asked.

"I know she will," I said. "Let's go finish helping with the decorations."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

6:00 came faster than we thought it would. Howie and I were sitting on the porch, trying to appear normal. Bre, Kevin, Brian, Andrea and Heather were all inside, staying away from the windows so August wouldn't catch on.

"Kayla?" Howie asked.

"What?" I looked at him.

"What am I going to say to Nick?"

"Have you been worrying about that all day?" I asked. Howie usually never worried about anything for this long.

"Yeah. I mean, I don't want Nick to hate me. He's like a little brother to me, and I don't want to hurt him."

"Howie, like I said before, I'll talk to Nick, and until then, just try to let it work itself out. I'm not going to do it tonight, because knowing Nick, he'll end up blowing up at someone, and I don't want to ruin August's birthday."

A blue Camaro pulled into the driveway. It was Nick, and like he'd said he would, he'd brought August with him. She was in the passenger seat in the front, and she looked like she'd already been having a good time.

Nick parked the car, and they both got out. They headed up the steps. "Hey, Nick!" I yelled. "Congratulations! Yet another drive with no accidents! Or...did you run down any cats, dogs, grannies or other small animals?"

"Very funny," Nick said, coming up the steps two at a time. August was right in back of him. I couldn't hlp but notice she was kind of staring at his butt.

We all went inside. I noticed the dirty look Nick gave Howie just before he went in. Howie glanced at me and sighed. I reached out and rubbed his shoulder a little, then we followed everyone inside.

"Surprise!" everyone yelled, as August and Nick came around the corner into the kitchen. August nearly had a heart attack. "You guys did this for me?" she said, looking first at Heather, then at Nick.

Nick walked up to her and put his arm around her, giving her a little squeeze. "Yeah, of course we did," he said. "We all love you, August." He smiled down at her. I winked at Kevin across the room. Nick liked August, August liked Nick, what was to lose? I still thought we should hook them up.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It was the middle of the night. The party had gone smoothly, and August had had a great time. She loved the present Nick had given her, just like we knew she would. Kevin gave her a locket, Brian gave her a new journal and some art supplies, Howie gave her a couple CDs, I gave her a new shirt, and Heather gave her some clothes and makeup. Bre and Andrea both gave her some money in a card.

We'd all had fun, with all the chatting, eating and dancing. Kevin and I had actually gotten Nick and August to dance with each other. Brian had taken pictures of them. I'd have to steal some of them to put in my scrapbook when he got them back. They had been so cute together, and now I was even more convinced that we needed to get them together.

After picking up a few leftover dishes and bringing them into the kitchen, I stood near the sink for a minutes alone, in the silence. Brian and Howie were outside playing basketball, Nick and AJ had gone home, and Kevin was in his room writing a song. I wrapped my arms around myself and smiled a little as I remembered the look on August's face.

Brian walked into the room behind me. I didn't see him come in, so he snuck up on me and tickled the back of my neck with a piece of leftover ribbon. I jumped and whirled around to face him, then smiled with relief when I saw that it was him. "Oh my God, Frick...you scared me!"

He hugged me. "Sorry, I was just playing with ya," he said, giving me one of those annoying play-noogies. I swatted at his hand.

"The party went great," I said, still trying to keep him from tickling me.

"Yeah, it was better than I thought it would be," Brian said. "Now I'm going to be my usual nosy self and change the subject, since you didn't answer me earlier. What was up with Howie today?"

I took a deep breath. I probably shouldn't tell him, I thought to myself. Then I rethought it for a moment. This was Brian. I knew I could trust him with anything. "OK," I said, leaning against the counter near the sink. "Nick is mad at Howie because Nick's friend Kiersten started some stories about how Howie supposedly tried to...well, you know. Nick believed it, and now he won't speak to Howie. And you know Howie, it's killing him to think he might have hurt Nick, even though it's not his fault."

"Did you talk to Nick about it?" Brian asked me, taking a freshly washed glass off the counter and filling it with water.

"No, not yet," I said. "I told Howie I would, but I didn't dare do it during August's party. I didn't want to ruin it for her, you know? I mean, Nick's a great guy, but sometimes he's kind of hard to predict."

"Oh, yeah," Brian said. "Nobody knows that better than me. I'm his best friend, remember?" he smiled down at me.

"Yeah, I remember," I said, grabbing his glass of water and taking a drink. "He's starting to rub off on you, too." I handed back his glass.

"Hey!" he said, chuckling. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, nothing," I said, laughing. "I forget, you were blond as a kid. You don't quite grasp these concepts."

Brian grinned and put his glass in the sink. "OK, little girl, now you're gonna get it!" He jumped toward me, and I ran out of the kitchen. He chased me through the house and out the front door. I had made it down the steps and almost to the basketball hoop where Howie was shooting around when Brian caught me, picked me up and swung me around just like he had earlier. I loved it when he did that.

"What are you two up to?" Howie asked with a mischievous grin.

"Oh, nothing," Brian said, keeping the joke going. "We were hoping no one would find out about our wild affair." I thought I was going to die laughing.

Brian picked up the basketball, tossed it toward the hoop a couple of times, then bounce-passed it to me. "I don't know about you losers, but I'm going to bed," he said. He tickled my side as he passed me. I smacked his arm, then turned to Howie.

Right after Brian shut the door, I said, "I'll talk to Nick tomorrow. I really think everything's going to be alright."

Howie gave me his sweet little half-smile. "Thanks, Kayla," he said. "You're the best friend I could ask for." He kissed my forehead. Even though he was only 5'6", he was still a couple inches taller than me. "You're a sweetheart," he said to me, then turned and went inside, leaving me alone again. I tossed the ball on the lawn, then sat down on the grass. I needed some time to think about what I was going to say to Nick.

I'd only been sitting there for about ten minutes when I saw headlights coming slowly down the road. I glanced at my watch. It was almost 1:45 AM. Who would be out this late?

When I saw the car slow down and stop in front of me, I realized it was Nick. He turned the car off and got out.

"Hi, Kayla," he said, sitting down next to me on the grass. "I was just out driving around, thinking. How come you're still up?"

I shrugged. "I don't know, I just like being by myself. Sometimes the only time I can do it is in the middle of the night." I had 5 younger brothers and sisters.

Nick nodded. "Yeah, join the club. I just figured you would have gone home by now."

"Nah," I said, leaning back on my elbows. "I knew the party wouldn't end until late, so I told my parents I was going to stay all night."

"With 3 guys?" Nick asked, astonished. "Wow. My mom would never let me do that." Then, he quickly added, "Stay overnight with girls, I mean." I had to laugh at him. Sometimes he acted so naive, so...blond, to put it frankly. He laughed along with me.

We sat there in silence for a few minutes, looking up at the stars. Then, breaking the silence, Nick said, "Can I ask you something, K?"

"Sure," I said. "I need to talk to you about something, too, but you go first." I still needed to decide how to go about this.

"OK..." Nick took a deep breath. "I know you and Howie are close, so you probably already know about this..."

"The thing about him and Kiersten?"

"Yeah. He tried to mess around with her. I don't appreciate stuff like that happening to my friends." Nick picked up a leaf that had recently fallen from a nearby tree, and suddenly seemed very interested in studying it.

It was a good thing it was dark. Otherwise, he would have seen my eyes spark and the brief look of anger that crossed my face. He had jumped to conclusions before getting the whole story. "Nick, you haven't even heard Howie's side of it. I know for a fact you haven't."

"I don't need to," he said, throwing the leaf down. "I know the truth." He picked up the leaf again, then shredded it to pieces and scattered them on the ground.

"Nickolas, no, you don't," I said, surprising myself with how gentle the tone of my voice was. "Howie doesn't lie, especially not to me. And you know as well as I do that not only is Kiersten revengeful, she's a pathological liar."

Nick laid back and looked up at the sky. He sighed. "I guess you're right, I should have talked to Howie before I went off the deep end and got mad at him." He sat up again. "I'll talk to him in the morning. I'd do it now, but it's kinda late."

"Yeah. Do you want me to tell him you're coming tomorrow?"

"Sure," Nick said, standing up and brushing the grass off himself. "I'll try to get here as early as I can."

"OK," I said. He started toward his car. "Nick!" I called after him. He stopped and turned toward me. "Thanks for hearing me out," I said.

Nick smiled. "Thanks for showing me the light," he said. "I'm kind of a dim bulb, you know."

I laughed. "You can say that again."

"Alright," he said. "I'm kind of a dim bulb." I shook my head and smiled. Laughing, Nick got in his car and drove away.

I sat there alone a little while longer. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. It was such a relief that everything was going to work out. I opened my eyes, then stood up and went inside. As soon as I laid down on the couch I fell asleep.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Hey, Kayla," a soft voice whispered in my ear. I slowly opened my eyes and saw Kevin kneeling next to the couch. "Good morning," he said.

I sat up. "What time is it?" I asked.

Kevin picked up my watch, which I had set on the coffee table the night before. "It's almost 9:30," he said. "B-Rok and Howie aren't up yet."

I stood up and headed into the kitchen. Kevin followed me. I took Brian's glass out of the sink and rinsed it, then took the orange juice out of the refrigerator and poured myself some. "You want some breakfast?" Kevin asked.

I shook my head. "No, thanks, Kev," I said. "I don't usually eat breakfast."

Kevin smiled. "God, no wonder you and Howie get along so well. You've got so much in common it's scary." He put a piece of bread in the toaster and pushed the button down.

"Yeah," I said. "We were separated at birth, and thanks to my cousin we've been reunited." Kevin laughed a little. "I'm gonna go wake up D and the dork," I said, putting down my glass and heading down the hall.

I knocked on Howie's door, then went in. He was already up, dressed from the waist down, and lifting weights. "Morning, Howie," I said. "I just wanted to see if you were up."

Howie nodded and smiled. "Yeah. I've been up for a while now." The smile faded. "Have you talked to Nick yet?"

I nodded. "He came by last night after you went inside. He's coming to talk to you in a while." Howie nodded his thanks, and I left the room. "I'll be out in a few minutes," he yelled after me.

I reentered the hallway, then went to the next door down. The Sandra Bullock poster on the door made it obvious that this was Brian's room.

I knocked on the door. When there was no response, I let myself in. Brian was still sound asleep, lying flat on his back. I loved watching him sleep. He looked so innocent and cute.

I watched him for a few minutes, then pounced into the center of his waterbed, landing partially on him and causing what would have been a tidal wave if we had been in the ocean.

He jumped up, almost throwing me on the floor. I regained my balance, trying to hold back my laughter but not succeeding. I bit my lip when I saw the look on his face, but I still couldn't stop laughing. He just stared at me evilly for a minute, then groaned and started laughing.

"Good morning, Sunshine," I said, still laughing. Brian reached behind himself and grabbed his pillow, then threw it at me. It hit me square in the face, and a few loose feathers flew out of it. I grabbed the pillow before Brian could get it and threw it back at him. It hit him in the stomach. "Quit pelting me with pillows and get your lazy carcass out of bed," I said.

"Alright, alright," Brian said. "I can take a hint. I'm getting up." He reached around me to shut off the alarm clock. When he pulled his arm back, his hand gently brused the small of my back, and I felt tingles go up my spine. I didn't know if he'd done it accidentally or not, so I acted like I hadn't noticed.

Brian glanced at me, then quickly stood up. "Since you so kindly woke me up," he said with a sarcastic smile, "I suppose I might as well stay up." He pulled a pair of jeans and a button-up black silk shirt with short sleeves out of a drawer.

Standing up off the bed, I said, "I'll be out in the living room with Kevin when you come out." I started out the door.

"Hey!" Brian said, pulling his jeans on over his blue boxers. "I saw you outside with Nick last night. What was that about?"

"We were talking about this thing with Howie," I said. "Nick's coming over in a while to talk to him. He feels bad that he jumped to conclusions. I think he's going to apologize to Howie."

"That's cool," Brian said. Now he was buttoning his shirt. He looked unbelievably good in it. He sat down on the edge of his bed and pulled on a pair of white socks and his black Nikes. "I told you Nick would come around," he said. "Nobody knows Frack better than Frick. He always realizes it when he's wrong. Sometimes it takes longer than others, but he always does."

Brian stood up off the bed and looked out the window at the driveway. "Hey, AJ's here!" he said. He grabbed his dirty clothes from the day before and trotted off toward the kitchen. On his way past the bathroom, he tossed the clothes in the general direction of the hamper. They missed and landed in the bathtub, so, shaking my head and giggling to myself, I picked them up and put them in the hamper. I could still smell the traces of cologne on his shirt.

When I got to the kitchen, AJ, Howie, Kevin and Brian were all sitting at the table. All of them were drinking coffee, except AJ, who was drinking his signature can of Mountain Dew.

"Kayla! Howdy!" AJ said as I sat down. There was already a cup of coffee in front of me, which I found out was compliments of Kevin. I picked it up and sipped it a few times.

"Kayla," AJ said, "you were hanging with Andrea last night, right?" I nodded. "What does she think of me?"

"I don't know," I said, shrugging and setting my coffee down. "She likes you. She thinks you're a cutie."

AJ beamed. "She just likes me? Or likes me likes me?" He leaned forward.

Brian and Howie glanced at each other and burst out laughing. Howie was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to fall out of his chair.

"Likes you likes you?" Brian said, almost choking on his coffee. "How old are you, 10?" Kevin and I started laughing along with Howie and Brian.

"Hey," I said between fits of laughter. "I thought you were madly in love with Heather. What happened with that?"

AJ started to say something, but Howie cut him off. "Well," he said, still laughing, "after Heather told him to drop dead last night, he realized he doesn't have a snowball's chance in hell with her, so he decided to go after someone else. Andrea was just the lucky one." AJ shot Howie a dirty look.

"Awwwwww," I said, standing up. I walked over to AJ and rested my chin on his shoulder, hugging him around the neck. "You've upset my Baby Bone. You all should be ashamed." That, of course, just made everyone laugh harder. Even AJ started laughing.

The front door opened. "What's so funny?" Nick asked, walking into the kitchen.

Kevin leaned back in his chair. "AJ's love life," he said, trying to stop laughing. "It's pretty sad."

Nick held up his hands and took a step back, laughing and shaking his head. "I don't even wanna know," he said. He looked at Howie and said, "Can I talk to you in private?"

Howie stood up. "Sure," he said. "Let's go outside." Nick and Howie walked outside onto the porch.

For a few minutes, Kevin, Brian, AJ and I sat talking about how well the party had gone. My mind was only partially on the conversation. I was wondering what was going on with Nick and Howie. I hoped everything would be alright.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A little while later I saw Nick's car pulling out of the driveway, and Howie came inside. I met him at the door, and sighed with relief when I saw him. He was smiling, and he looked like a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

"I take it everything went well?" I said, coming closer to him.

Howie smiled. "Yeah. We got it all worked out. Thanks, Kayla. I really appreciate your help. Nick does, too."

"You're welcome," I said. "Anything for a friend. Or, in this case, two."

"Oh yeah," Howie said. "That reminds me. Nick's going to ask August out. He really likes her."

"I knew it!" I exclaimed. "I knew they liked each other! They make an adorable couple."

Howie nodded. "Yeah, they do. I think they're pretty much perfect for each other."

"Yeah." I started to head back into the kitchen to join everyone else, but Howie grabbed my arm and stopped me. "What?" I asked.

Howie let go of my arm. "Well..." he began, "I usually don't get into this sort of stuff, but since we're so close...Brian wanted me to tell you something. He's too shy to tell you himself."

I was shocked. "Brian? Shy? Are you sure we're both talking about the same Brian Littrell, goofball extraordinaire?" I shook my head. "There are a lot of words to describe Brian, but shy is definitely not one of them. Are you sure he even knows the meaning of the word shy?"

Howie shrugged. "I guess with some things, he's different. This is one of those things, apparently."

I was confused. "For the love of the man in the bathroom, Howie, what are you talking about? What's one of those things?"

"Brian likes you. A lot."

My chin practically hit the floor. "Well, that explains what he did this morning," I said, trying to make myself remember to breathe.

"Why? What'd he do this morning?"

"When he got out of bed this morning after I woke him up, his hand brushed my back, I knew he did it on purpose!" I was starting to get that fluttery feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"So you knew he likes you?" Howie asked.

"No, not at all," I said. "I thought he was just fooling around as usual. I always thought he looked at me as a sister."

"Well, that's what he said," Howie told me. "He's always seen you as a sister before, but now it's different. I personally think he's like, in love with you or something, but maybe that's just my opinion." I smacked him playfully, still in shock. "How do you feel about Brian?" he asked me.

I didn't know what to say. "I...well, lately I've been thinking about him a lot more, but I was trying to ignore that," I said, finally finding the words I was looking for.

Howie nodded. "I've tried that, too. Believe me, it doesn't work."

I was interested. "Who were you in love with and didn't want to admit it?"

"Oh, nobody you'd know," he said, waving his hand. "A girl that I'd known since I was a baby. Her name was Chelsea. We were like, best friends."

"That's so cute!" I said. "Did she ever find out about it?"

He shook his head. "Nope. I never got the guts to tell her, and her family moved to Canada when I was 13."

I nodded. "Did you ever get over her?"

"Eventually. I was just a kid. It was just a crush. But at the time it felt like a lot more than that."

We headed back into the kitchen. Everyone was still talking about the party.

AJ looked up. "Hey, guys!" he said. "Nick didn't stay and hang out?"

I shook my head. "Nope."

"He's going over to August's. They're getting pretty close," Howie said. "He's going to ask her out today."

"That's cool," Kevin said. Then we all went back to talking about the party. As we were talking, Brian kept glancing at me. Every time I looked at him, he'd look away.

After a while, Kevin stood up. "I'm going to go work on my song some more." He disappeared down the hall to his room.

"Hey, I got an idea," AJ said.

"Whoa, that's a first!" Brian said. "Everyone, quiet! The Great Bone speaks!"

AJ punched Brian, who laughed hysterically for a minute. "As I was trying to say before I was so rudely interrupted," AJ said, "we should go to the mall."

We all looked at each other. "That's a good idea," Howie said. "At least it's something to do." I took my mini backpack off the back of Brian's chair.

"Hey, Kev!" Brian yelled down the hall. "You wanna go to the mall with us?"

"No, thanks!" Kevin yelled back. "I'm just going to hang around for a while."

"Alright," Howie yelled. "We'll be back later."

"Bye, Kev!" AJ and I said.

"See ya!" As we walked out the door I could hear Kevin picking out a melody on his keyboard.

We all piled into Brian's Jeep. Brian was driving, and I was sitting in the front seat on the passenger side. Howie and AJ were in the bench seats in the back.

It was only about a 15-minute drive to the mall. Brian parked on the north end of the parking lot, and we entered the mall near the food court.

As we were walking past the dining area, AJ pointed to one of the tables. "Hey, look!" he whispered.

Nick and August were sitting there, talking. August was laughing, and she flirtatiously laid her head on his Nick's shoulder. "Looks like they're hitting it off pretty well," Howie said. "Should we go bother them?"

Brian shook his head. "No, let's leave them alone," he said. As we kept walking by, I couldn't help but wonder what Brian and I would look like sitting there together.

AJ suddenly stopped short in front of the music store. Brian, who was walking in back of him, ran into him. "Hey!" he said. "What the...?"

AJ waved his hand. "Shut up!" he hissed. "Andrea's in there." Just as he said that, she turned around and saw us through the window. She waved, then set down the CD she'd been looking at and hurried toward the door. AJ turned around, took a deep breath, then turned toward us again.

Andrea came out of the store smiling. "Hey, guys!" she said, coming over to us. "I didn't expect to find you here." She gave me a hug.

She said hi to everyone else, and they all said hi back. Everyone except AJ, who seemed enthralled with his feet. "AJ?" Andrea asked. "Is something wrong?"

He looked up, starting to turn a little red. "No," he said. "I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

Andrea smiled. "Well, I thought you seemed kinda quiet, that's all," she said. "Mind if I hang around with you guys?" After a chorus of no's, she hurried back into the music store, paid for the CD she'd been looking at, and came back out.

"Hey," AJ said, "what CD did you get?"

Andrea pulled the CD out of the bag and handed it to AJ. "Usher," she said. "I've been wanting to get it for a long time, and I've never gotten around to it."

"Oh, cool!" AJ said. "You like Usher? Me too!"

Andrea nodded. "Yeah, he's cool," she said.

"Yeah, the CD's great," he said. "You'll love it."

As we were passing the pet store, I glanced inside and had to stop. "Hey, guys!" I said. "Let's go in here for a minute." We went inside.

I immediately headed toward the glassed-in room where they kept the puppies. Over in a small cage in the corner there was a tiny pug, one of those wrinkle-pups. It was the cutest thing I'd ever seen.

Brian came over to me. Everyone else was over on the other side of the store, looking at the fish. "Cool," he said. "Puppies rule."

"Yeah," I said. "I love that little pug over in the corner."

Brian saw the puppy and smiled. "She's adorable!" he said.

"I know." I crossed my arms over my chest and went a little closer to the puppy so I could get a better look. "I've always wanted a dog. I've never really had a pet of my own. I thought about asking my parents for one for my birthday next week, but it'll probably never happen so I'm not going to bother."

Brian was quiet for a minute. "Yeah, that's right, your birthday's coming right up, isn't it?"

I nodded. "Yeah. It's this Friday."

Brian nodded. "Yeah. I know what you mean. I always wanted a pet too, but my parents never let me have one, especially when I was little."

"Why?" I asked.

"Well, they were always planning for my death, you know? I mean, the doctors had told my parents that there was no way I was going to live. I really believe that if it wasn't for God, if He didn't have some purpose for me, I wouldn't have." He stopped talking for a minute and swallowed hard. "But, anyway, I got better, and when I got older they let me get a cat. Missy. But I never did get the dog I really wanted."

"Well," I said, turning to head back to the group, "I'm not going to count on it either, I guess." We headed back to everyone else, then left the store. But I left my heart in there with that puppy. I hated seeing animals caged up anywhere, especially in a pet store. And there was something special about her. I loved that dog.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

We were pulling back into the driveway at Brian, Kevin and Howie's apartment building. We'd been gone for a few hours, and had gotten bored, so we'd decided to come back home. None of us had actually bought anything, with the exception of Andrea, who had come home with us. AJ had been flirting mercilessly with her all day long, and it seemed to be paying off. It seemed like she liked him. As I was getting out of the Jeep, I laughed to myself and shook my head. AJ was cute, real cute. A little too girl-crazy, but still cute.

As we went back into the house, my thoughts wandered back to that adorable little dog sitting in the pet store. She'd looked so lonely, and the pitiful look in her eyes combined with the way she wagged her tail when she saw me looking at her just made me want her more. I've got to stop this, I said to myself. It'll never happen, so get over it!!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I couldn't believe the week had passed so quickly. Usually the last few days before my birthday absolutely DRAGGED. But, here I was, rolling out of bed on Friday morning, my birthday! I could already sense it was going to be a good day, but I had no idea how good.

I walked out of my room with a smile on my face and headed downstairs into the kitchen. My parents and my brothers and sisters were already up. My dad was sitting at the table eating a bowl of raisin bran and reading the morning paper, my mom was cooking bacon, and my brothers and sisters were...well, running around doing brother-and-sister stuff, getting in Mom's way.

My dad looked up from his paper. "Good morning, sweetheart," he said. "Happy birthday!"

I gave him a hug. "Thanks, Dad," I said. "I can't believe I slept so late!"

My mom turned from the stove. "Well, we figured since it was your birthday, you had a right to sleep in. We kept the kids away from you successfully, for once. Aren't you proud?"

I laughed. "Yes, Mom, I am," I said. "More than you know."

Mom finished cooking and set 8 plates on the table. "Time to eat!!" she yelled. Small children came running from every direction. There was nothing like one of Mom's homecooked meals to boost our family togetherness factor.

We all sat down at the table and began to eat. As usual, everything was delicious. Soon after I set down my fork and finished off the last of my orange juice, Dad jumped up from his chair and returned to the table with several wrapped packages. He took my plate and glass and set the packages down in front of me. "We were going to wait until tonight to give you these," he said, "but we just couldn't."

I smiled. Then, amidst shouts of, "Hurry up! Open mine first! Mine's better than hers!", I tore into the first package. It was the shirt I'd been wanting for a few weeks now. I hadn't even thought my mom had noticed me looking at it. I rubbed the silky material between my fingers, then smiled at my mom. "Thank you, Mom!!" I said. "I love it!"

This continued for about 20 minutes. I got a diary and a new phone for my room from my dad, and from my brothers and sisters I got a couple CD's, a book, $5.00, a stuffed cat, and a pair of sandals. Everything was great. My family always knew exactly what I wanted.

My mom got up and headed into the living room. She came back a couple minutes later with a mid-sized plain brown box. There was a loose-fitting cover over the top of it, and there were a few small slits cut in the sides. I looked at my family with confusion as my mom set the box down in front of me.

"Well? What are you waiting for?" my mom asked. "Go ahead and open it!"

I took a deep breath, then closed my eyes and slowly took the cover off of the box. There was no way this could be what I thought it was...there was just no way...

The cover literally flew off the box, and something small and furry jumped on me and started licking my face. I opened my eyes. It was the pug I'd seen in the pet store! Tears immediately came to my eyes.

"Oh my gosh! How did you know? How did you ever pay for it? How..."

"We didn't know. We didn't pay for it. We just played along," my dad said. Then he stuck his head into the living room. "Come on in," he said. "I think you've been found out."

Brian came into the room behind my dad. I gasped and immediately started sobbing. "Thank you so much, Brian!" I said, running to him and giving him a huge hug. I had never been so happy in my life.

My family stood by, smiling, as I laid my head on Brian's shoulder and just bawled. He smiled, closed his eyes, and gently rubbed my back as I held onto him. "You got your puppy," he said in my ear.

I looked up at him, trying to wipe the tears from my eyes and control myself. I smiled, then looked down at the floor as I felt something small and fuzzy rub against my legs. I bent down and picked up the dog. She was perfect.

"What are you going to name her?" my little sister Mandy asked.

I looked around the room. "I don't have a clue," I said. I thought for a minute. Then suddenly an idea came to me. "I know!" I said. "What about Pride? Like as in Backstreet Pride?"

Brian looked at me with that loving gaze he was so famous for. "That's great, K," he said. "That's an honor." He scratched the top of Pride's head, and she licked his hand. "What do you think of that, girl?" he said to the dog. "Do you like the name Pride?"

Pride wagged her tail and cocked her little head at him. I giggled. "I think that means yes in puppy-speak," I said. "Pride it is."

I handed Pride to Brian, then hugged each member of my family. "Thank you so much," I said. "This has been the best birthday ever." Then I came back to Brian, and he handed Pride back to me. "And thank you, Frick," I said. "You don't have any idea how much this means to me." I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him lightly on the cheek.

"Eeeeewwww!!" My little brother Josh screeched. "She kissed him!! Gross!" Brian took one look at the disgusted face he was making and burst out laughing. He got down on his knees and gave Josh a noogie. "In a few years you won't think there's anything gross about it, kid." Then when he saw the exasperated look on Josh's face, he said, "Trust me."

Brian stood up and came back to me. "Hey, I have to be getting back," he said. "And you're supposed to come with me, the guys have something they wanted to do for you." He reached out for my hand.

I kissed Pride's nose, then gently set her back down on the floor. She immediately bounced over toward my brothers and sisters, who picked her up and took off for the back yard. I laughed and shook my head. "Mom, Dad, is it OK if I go with him?"

My parents looked at each other, then nodded. "Sure, Kayla," my dad said. "Have fun."

"I will!" I said, then grabbed my sweatshirt and followed Brian out the door to his Jeep.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

When we got back to the apartment, the driveway was packed. Nick and AJ's cars were there, along with Andrea's and several that I didn't recognize. Brian parked the Jeep and took the key out of the ignition, then we went inside.

As soon as I got in the door I was bombarded with shouts of "Happy Birthday!". AJ and Andrea were sitting on the couch, acting like they were completely obsessed with each other. Nick came out of the kitchen with August. They were holding hands. Howie stood up from the floor, where he had been sitting and practicing his acoustic guitar. Kevin was standing near the door, and he instantly gave me a huge bear hug. The other guys followed suit, as well as Andrea and August. The other cars that I hadn't recognized were some of my friends from high school, whom I hadn't seen in almost 2 years, and some of the guys' families.

What I hadn't expected was that they had planned another huge party, much like the one we had thrown for August. The party itself lasted for almost 3 hours, and then eventually it was just me and the guys again.

"You guys, thank you so much!" I said, and gave everyone a hug. "This was great!"

Kevin came over to me. "Hold up," he said. "It's not over yet. Come on." He took my hand, and led me outside. Everyone else followed.

Out by the side of the road there was a black limo, the back doors already open. I felt the tears come to my eyes again. "Well?" Howie asked. "You coming?"

All of us piled into the limo and shut the doors. I was sitting between Brian and AJ, with Howie, Kevin and Nick facing me in the other seat. "May I ask where we're going?" I asked.

Nick leaned forward in his seat. "Well, we weren't gonna tell you, but we changed our minds. You know how you've always said you'd like to go out on my boat sometime?"

I nodded. "Well," he continued, "that's where we're going. I found this awesome island the other day. It's out in the middle of nowhere, no one ever goes there. That's where I'm taking you guys."

"Oh, cool, Nick," I said. "This is awesome, thank you!" I looked around at the faces of the people who had become my best friends over the past few months. I couldn't believe this was my life. I had never been this lucky, and now here I was with the 5 greatest people in the world, having the greatest birthday anyone could ask for.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It was almost an hour-long ride to the boat landing. We had a blast in the limo, telling jokes, leaning out of the sunroof, and watching the people stare at us as we passed. AJ and Nick were having a burping contest, so we were all choosing sides. So far AJ was in the lead.

We pulled onto a small, bumpy dirt road that wasn't much wider than a footpath. "Whoa, Nick," Howie said. "No wonder no one else is ever out here. No one else is stupid enough to drive down this road!"

Nick laughed. "You're probably right. I was just out riding around a few nights ago, and I found this road. So I decided to take a ride down it. And I found this landing. So, the next day, I brough Aaron down here with me, and we brought the boat, and we found this island." He rolled his window down a little bit and took a deep breath. "I love ocean air," he said.

I took a deep breath. "Me too," I said. "It's pretty much the only fresh air you can get in Florida." Brian closed his eyes and shook his head, smiling.

We finally reached the end of the road, and the driver parked the car in a small clearing on the side of the road. We all got out of the car, and Nick led us down a small path to the shore. His boat was already tied to the dock.

I looked around. "Nick, this is beautiful!" I exclaimed. "It's so peaceful."

Brian ran up behind me. "Did you say peaceful?" he asked playfully. "I'm slipping! I'm losing my touch!" We all laughed as Brian ran around like a lunatic for a minute, then tackled Nick and wrestled him to the ground.

Nick playfully kneed Brian in the stomach, then rolled over and threw him on the ground. He got up and brushed himself off, then shot Brian a mock dirty look, which just made everyone laugh harder.

"I hate to name any names, BRIAN," Nick said, still laughing, "but someone is holding up the process here." Smiling, he hopped onto the boat and began untying the rope. "You guys coming?"

We all piled onto the boat. "Hey, did everyone bring bathing suits?" Nick asked. "I should have said something about it earlier, but it completely slipped my mind."

"Yeah," I said, "well, your mind's pretty slippery anyway. And I didn't even think about bringing my bathing suit."

"That's OK," Nick said. "I think BJ's is still in that box under your seat. You two are about the same size, it would probably fit you."

"Yeah, but are you sure she wouldn't mind?" I asked, pulling the box out from under my seat.

"Nah, she won't care. She lets people use it all the time." He turned the key in the ignition, then carefully maneuvered the boat out around the dock and out into the open water.

"OK," I said. "Thanks. Is there any place out there I can change?"

"No," Nick said sarcastically. "You'll just have to get naked in front of everyone. It's an island, for God's sake. Of course there's places to change. Just go off in the bushes somewhere." I laughed again, then glanced at Brian, who was leaning on the side of the boat, looking out at the water.

"How about everyone else?" Nick asked. "You guys gonna go swimming?"

Everyone just looked around. "Uh..." Brian said.

Howie held up a backpack. "I figured everyone wouldn't think of it, so I brought extra clothes and stuff."

Kevin shook his head. "Leave it to Howie," he said, laughing a little. "What'd you do, raid our closets?"

Howie shrugged. "Basically," he said, laughing.

"Hey Nick!" Brian said, looking off in the distance. "Is that the island you were talking about?"

Nick looked off to the side. "Yeah, that's it," he said. "Wait until you see it, it's awesome."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The boat was bobbing near the island. "Guys, this is the closest I can get, we're gonna have to swim in from here." He dropped the anchor, then peeled his shirt off over his head and threw it in a heap on the deck. "Well, what are you waiting for?" he asked. Then he jumped off the side of the boat into the water.

"My God!!!" Brian said. "Isn't that cold?" As he spoke, he was taking off his shirt and shoes, and throwing them in the pile with Nick's shirt. He stood on the side of the boat for a minute, looking into the water, then jumped off.

He came up a few seconds later. "That's COLD! Pretty fun though...you guys coming?"

"Um, guys?" I said. "How am I supposed to change? I'm not gonna just strip here."

"Good question," Kevin said. "Here's a towel, you can put that around yourself." He tossed me a huge blue towel.

I thought about it for a minute, then decided I might as well go for it. If I didn't change I'd just have to swim in my clothes, and I wasn't about to do that. I wrapped the towel around myself, then took off my shorts and let them drop to the deck. Then I pulled the bathing suit on, slipping the straps over my shoulders under my shirt. I took the towel off. "There you go!!" I said. "I'm the master...worship me."

I stepped up on the side of the boat and stood there for a minute, looking down into the water at Brian and Nick. Then I took off my shirt and threw it back onto the boat. I felt a little underdressed in the bathing suit, but oh well. "Well," I said, "here goes nothing." Then I jumped in.

I felt myself sink a little bit, then I kicked and brought myself back to the surface. I shook the water off of my head, then opened my eyes. "You're right, Bri...that's cold!!" I turned back to the boat. Howie, AJ and Kevin were still standing there. "Are you guys coming?" I asked.

"Yeah, we're coming," Howie said. He peeled off his shirt, then dove directly into the water. He came up a few feet away from us, then swam back to us.

"I swear to God," Kevin said, "if I freeze in there I'm gonna kill someone." Then he took off his shirt, tossed it aside, and jumped in. He came up quickly. "Damn, that's chilly," he said. "Let's just get in there before I freeze to death."

"Oh, don't be a wuss," AJ said, stripping off his shirt. "It can't be that bad." He stood backwards on the side of the boat, then did a backflip into the water. He came up suddenly. "Whoa...you're right...it's that bad. Let's get in there, like, fast."

It didn't take too long to get to shore. Brian, Nick and I were a little way ahead of everyone else, so we got to the island first. I hauled myself out of the water and looked around. Nick was right. This place was beautiful.

"Hey," Brian said. "I've got an idea. Why don't we all go look around for a while, then meet back here in a couple hours?" We all agreed, then headed off in our separate directions for a while.

I'd only been walking for about 5 minutes when I heard someone coming behind me. I turned around and saw Brian. "Hey," he said. "Mind if I hang out with you?"

"Of course I don't mind," I said. "Nick was right, this place is great."

Brian nodded. "Yeah, it's nice. But you know why it's so great?"

"No...why?" I figured this was probably another one of his jokes.

He looked down at the ground for a minute, then looked back at me. "Well, all I know is if you weren't here this would just be another place," he said. "Sure, this place is great, but it's nothing compared to you."

I could feel my cheeks getting hot and turning red. I smiled. "Thanks for lying, Brian," I said, laughing.

"I'm not lying," he said. "I know Howie told you...well, what I asked him to tell you."

"Yeah...why didn't you tell me yourself? You're never shy about anything."

"I don't know," he said. "I guess I was afraid of what you'd say. I thought you'd think it was disgusting or something. I mean, we've been friends for so long..."

I cut him off. "I don't think it's disgusting at all," I said. "I think it's awesome. I mean, I... well, uh...I'd been thinking about you a lot lately too, and I couldn't quite figure out why, but I think now I know."

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Well...I think this may be turning into more than a friendship thing," I said, looking at the ground. "I just...I don't know...you don't usually feel like this about someone who's just your friend, you know?"

"Yeah," Brian said. "You're right." He looked around. "Hey, I think I'm gonna head back," he said. "I found a cool little clearing I wanna check out."

"OK," I said. "I'll see you in a while." I started to turn and keep walking.

"Hey!" Brian said. I turned around and found myself pretty much nose-to-nose with him. "Do you believe in destiny?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said. "Under certain circumstances."

He nodded. "Me too," he said. He leaned toward me a little. "See ya." When he said that, his lips brushed my face just a little bit. I just stood there, dazed, as he walked away.

I stood there by myself for a few minutes, trying to believe what had just happened. I'd just been sort-of-kissed...by Brian Littrell. This was just too unreal. There was no way this could be happening. Then again, I'd thought that the first time I'd met him. So maybe it wasn't as weird as it seemed. I gathered my thoughts, then headed back toward the shore, where we were supposed to meet.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I was the first person back to the meeting place. I sat down on a large flat rock and looked around. This place really was beautiful, but it was hard to concentrate on the scenery after what had just happened with Brian. I still couldn't quite believe it.

Kevin was the next person to get back to our spot. He saw me, came over and sat down next to me. "How's it going?" he asked.

"Great," I said. "I'm still kinda dazed though."

"About what?" Kevin asked, stretching out a little on the rock.

"Well, I don't know if you knew that Brian likes me," I said. Kevin nodded. He knew. "Well, we were just out in the woods there, and he started talking to me about destiny and stuff, and then he sort of kissed me."

"Sort of? What do you mean, he sort of kissed you?"

"Well, his lips kind of brushed my face. I don't know if that's really what you'd call a kiss, but that's what it felt like." I reached down and picked up a small smooth stone that was lying on the ground. I held it in my hand, and looked at the lines in it.

"Well," Kevin said, looking up at the sky, "it sounds to me like Brian's got it bad." I blushed again. "Consider yourself lucky. It's not too often he gets head over heels like that."

"I didn't say I thought he was head over heels," I said. "I just know now that he likes me. When Howie told me, I didn't believe him, but now..."

"Believe me, Kayla," Kevin said, "he's got it bad. He's my cousin. I can read him like a book. He doesn't do stuff like that unless he's really interested in someone."

"You think so?"

He nodded. "I know so. He really, really likes you."

I sighed, and laid back on the rock. "I don't know what to do," I said.

"Why? Do you not like him, or are you just confused?"

"Oh, God, of course I like him. I've liked him since the first time I saw him in a magazine...but, oh wow...this is so weird." I sat up on my elbows. "I never thought this guy that I saw in a magazine and fawned over would ever be one of my best friends, let alone the fact that he would like me too!"

"So it's not that you don't like him, then." Kevin said.

"Hell, no!" I said. "I'm just kinda confused. I mean, what if I end up getting into some kind of relationship with him, and it ends up ruining what we already have? I've seen that happen millions of times, and I don't want it to happen to us."

"I wouldn't worry about it," Kevin said. "Even if you guys ended up going out and then breaking up, I think the friendship would still be there. That's just the kind of guy Brian is."

"So you think I should go for it?" I asked, standing up. Howie and AJ were coming.

"I would," Kevin said. "I mean, not with Brian...you know what I mean." We laughed.

"Yeah, I know what you mean."

Howie and AJ came over and flopped down on the ground. "What's so funny?" AJ asked.

Kevin and I glanced at each other. "Oh, nothing," I said.

"Dammit!" AJ yelled, looking at me. "I hate being left out!"

"Yeah, well get used to it," I said, play-kicking him in the side. "It's gonna happen a lot from now on."

We all sat around talking for a while, waiting for Nick and Brian. Finally we saw them heading back toward the clearing. "Where the hell were you?" AJ asked, standing up.

"We were just off looking around, talking, plotting evil schemes against you...oh, did I say that?" Brian said, sitting down next to me and Kevin. "Nick, we're in trouble," he continued. "We're gonna have to change our plans now so they won't suspect anything."

"Brian, shut up," Nick said, smiling and throwing a soggy towel at him. It hit him in the chest, and he picked it up and threw it back at Nick. He missed, and it landed on the ground.

"So..." Howie said. "Anybody wanna go swimming?"

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

We'd spent the rest of the day in much the same way, walking around, talking, teasing each other and swimming. Now Nick and Kevin had built a small fire, and we were all sitting around it. We were still soaking wet from our last swim.

"So, how was your birthday, K?" AJ asked.

"It was great!" I said, glancing at Brian. "I got my puppy, plus the best day of my life."

"Oh yeah," Nick said. "By the way, what did you name the puppy?"

"I named her Pride," I said. "Like, as in, Backstreet Pride." Brian smiled and tossed a small piece of driftwood into the fire.

"That's cool," Nick said. "I feel loved." I shook my head and rolled my eyes.

"Oh yeah," Nick said. "We won't have to swim back to the boat. Or at least you guys won't. I found an inlet where I can bring it right up to shore today."

"Thank God!" Brian said. "If I have to go in that damn water one more time I'm gonna shrivel and die!" I picked up a stick and threw it at him. As usual, I missed by a mile and almost took Howie's head off.

"Hey!!" he said, laughing. "Watch where you point that thing!"

"D," AJ said, putting his hand on Howie's shoulder, "that did NOT sound good." Howie smacked him and shoved him away. We all laughed again.

"Well," Nick said, standing up and brushing the sand off his butt, "I think I'm gonna go out and get the boat before it gets too late. We've still gotta get home tonight." He headed off toward the water, and we heard him jump in and swim out toward the boat.

AJ and Kevin stood up. "We're going to go make sure we got everything," Kevin said. "You guys coming?"

Howie stood up and went with them. "I'm gonna stay here," I said.

"I'll stay here and hang with Kayla," Brian said. I saw Kevin shoot me his "I-told-you-so" glance as he walked away.

We were alone again. I was sitting near the campfire, playing in the sand with a stick. Brian came over and sat down next to me on the blanket. "Happy birthday," he said quietly.

"Thanks," I said, shoving the stick down into the sand and brushing my hands off. I leaned up against him a little bit, and shivered.

"Are you cold?" Brian asked.

"No, just a little," I said. "I'm OK, really. We're leaving soon anyway."

He took off his sweatshirt and put it around my shoulders. "That better?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said. "Better for me. But aren't you freezing?" Now he was only wearing jeans and a tank top.

He shook his head. "No, I'm fine," he said. "I thought you had a shirt with you though."

"No, I left it in the limo. I didn't even think about it when we got out. I guess I was too excited. Are you sure you're warm enough?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine," he said. "Really." He moved a little closer to me.

Not knowing what to say or do, I picked up the stick again and started writing in the sand with it. I wrote my name in small letters.

Suddenly Brian grabbed the hand I was writing with. He put his hand over mine on the stick, then drew a heart around my name. I dropped the stick, but he kept holding my hand.

I didn't know what to say, so I just looked at him. He looked directly into my eyes. I'd never noticed how blue his eyes were. I almost felt like I could get lost in them.

"Kayla," he said, "I know you know how I feel by now. I mean, it's probably become obvious since this morning, right?" I nodded. "Well," he continued, "I...I hope you don't...get mad at me...or something...but I can't help the...way I feel."

I shook my head. "I'm not mad at you, I'm just confused," I said. "I don't know what to think."

"Maybe it's times like these you don't have to think anything," he said. He leaned forward to kiss me again. I still couldn't believe this was going to happen.

And then, suddenly, it didn't. For reasons in the form of Nick. "Hey, guys!" he said. "You about ready to go?"

Brian stood up quickly, then helped me up. I brushed the sand off myself, then gathered up the blanket and folded it.

Howie, Kevin and AJ came back. "OK," Howie said, "I guess we've got everything. Are you guys ready?"

We all looked at each other. "I guess we're ready," Kevin said. "We better get going, it's getting late."

We all piled back into the boat. I couldn't help but notice that Brian sat as close to me as he could this time.

I decided not to bother fighting it anymore. Whatever was going to happen, was going to happen whether I liked it or not. I laid my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. I was starting to get that fluttery feeling again.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The limo pulled up on the curb outside my house. I stepped out. "Thank you so much, guys!" I said. "This has been the best birthday ever!" Still smiling, I shut the door and headed back toward the house. Just before opening the front door, I glanced back at the limo. Brian waved to me as it pulled away. I waved back, and went inside.

My family was in the living room watching TV. "Well, how was your day?" my mom asked, as Pride trotted over and jumped on me.

I picked Pride up and hugged her. She started licking my face. "It was great!" I said. "We went out on Nick's boat. We were on this little island that no one knows about. It's beautiful out there, I wish you could have seen it."

My mom smiled. "I'm glad you had a good birthday, dear," she said.

I sat down on the couch next to my little sister Angie. "I did," I said. "The best ever. Thank you."

"You're welcome," my father said, reaching over and scratching Pride's head. "That dog's been whining for you all day."

I smiled. "Well, if you guys don't mind, I think I'm going to go up and get ready for bed," I said. "I've had a long day, I'm kinda tired."

"That's fine," my mom said. "Good night. And happy birthday."

"Thanks!" I said, as I headed up the stairs with Pride on my heels.

I went in my room and quietly shut the door. I picked Pride up and set her on the bed, where she immediately curled up and went to sleep.

I picked up my Backstreet Boys CD from the bureau. I opened the case and carefully removed the disc. I turned on my CD player, turned the volume down low, and put the CD on. I skipped to That's What She Said, my favorite of all their songs. I hit the repeat button, then sat down on the edge of my bed and closed my eyes, listening to the music.

I was still almost in shock, not quite being able to believe what had happened out on the island. As I sat there listening to the music, it felt even more unbelievable. I laid down and drifted off to sleep.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I woke up suddenly, not knowing why. I opened my eyes, and saw a flashlight beam coming in through my window. I glanced at the clock near my bed. "1:30 AM?" I said. "This better be good." I climbed out of bed and wrapped my blanket around myself. I quietly tiptoed across the floor to the window and opened it.

Brian was standing outside, underneath my window. "What are you doing?" I asked, smiling. "If my parents see you they'll kill you!"

Brian shrugged. "It's worth it," he said. "I need to talk to you."

I glanced under the door into the hallway. All the lights were off, so everyone must be asleep. "Hold on, I'll be out in a minute," I said. "I don't want to wake my parents up." He nodded.

I quietly opened my bedroom door and tiptoed down the stairs, wincing every time the floor creaked or I made a tiny noise. I finally got into the living room and to the front door.

I went outside and went around the house to the backyard, where Brian was still standing. "What's so important that it couldn't wait until tomorrow?" I said, giving him a quick hug.

"I suppose it could have waited until tomorrow," Brian said, "but I didn't want it to." He reached into the backpack he'd brought with him and pulled out a single rose. "This is for you," he said. "I was going to give it to you this morning, but I didn't want to do it in front of your family, and the guys wouldn't have let me live it down if I'd done it there."

I took the rose and tried to stop myself from passing out. "Thank you!" I said. I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him. "You're such a sweetie."

He ran his hand through my hair. "Not really," he said. "You deserve a lot more than that. It was just the best thing I could think of at the moment."

Suddenly I saw a light go on in the upstairs bathroom window. "Oh, God," I said. I grabbed Brian's shirt and backed up into the shadows of the house. "Someone's awake up there."

He smiled at me. "Are you gonna get killed if someone sees you out here?"

"I don't know about killed, but my parents wouldn't be too happy about it," I said.

Brian took my chin in his hand. "Well, I should be getting back before the guys notice I'm gone anyway. I just wanted to give you that when I had a chance." He leaned forward and kissed me lightly, then squeezed my hand and walked away.

I stood there, shaking, as I watched him walk away. It had finally happened...he had kissed me. This was too good to be true. I wrapped my arms around myself and sat down in the grass, still in the shadows. I leaned my head against the side of the house and looked up into the sky.

Suddenly the front door opened. My brother Sam came out on the porch. "What are you doing out here this time of night?" he asked. "Mom and dad will kill you!"

I stood up quickly. "I was just getting some fresh air," I said. "I can't sleep." I crossed my fingers behind my back and hoped he hadn't seen Brian leaving.

Apparently he hadn't. "Oh," he said. "Well, you better come in because if they catch you you'll be dead meat."

"You're right," I said. "I'll be in in a minute." Sam turned around and went inside, shutting the door behind him.

I took a deep breath, still thinking about Brian, then followed Sam inside. I headed back up to my room, half-floating, still in a trance.

I went back into my room and crawled back into my bed. The CD was still playing, I'd forgotten to turn it off earlier. I left it playing and drifted back to sleep, still replaying the recent scene in my mind.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I woke up early the next morning. After Brian had left, I had slept well, with pleasant dreams. I crawled out of bed, smiling.

I was the first person downstairs. The sun had just risen a few minutes ago, and now the birds were out singing, and the dew was still covering the trees and the grass. I poured myself some orange juice and sat down at the table, facing the picture window.

It was going to be a beautiful day. The birds were chirping, the sun was shining, and I'd just had the best 24 hours of my life. I smiled to myself as I remembered the rose Brian had given me. It was sitting on my nightstand, right next to my bed. I filled a small vase with water and carried it upstairs to put the rose in, then I got dressed and went back downstairs.

I put my glass in the sink, then looked out the window again and decided it would be a good time to go for a walk. I got out a piece of paper and a pen and left a note for my parents: "Went for a walk. Be back soon. Kayla."

I went outside and headed for the backyard. There was a small trail going down through the woods and out to the highway there. I crossed the back lawn and headed down the trail. The sun was filtering through the trees, creating bright spots of patchwork on the ground. I'd never noticed how pretty everything was around here.

I walked down the trail, almost to the highway, then turned around and headed home. My family would probably be up by now.

I was right. When I walked in the door everyone was up, already sitting around the table. "Morning, Kayla," my mom said. "How was your walk?"

"It was good," I said, taking off my light jacket and sitting down at the table next to my dad. "It's really nice out there. It's going to be a great day."

"Well, you're in a good mood," my dad said, smiling at me. "Who are you, and what have you done with my daughter?" He gently tugged my hair.

"Daddy!" I said. "I don't know, I'm just happy lately, that's all."

"Would you like some breakfast, dear?" my mom asked, over by the stove as usual.

"No, thanks, Mom," I said. "I just had some orange juice before I left, that's plenty."

Pride bounced down the stairs, tripping every few steps. She only got about halfway down, then stopped, sat on her haunches, and looked at me pitifully. I climbed the rest of the stairs, picked her up, and brought her down. "You'll get it eventually, baby," I said. "But for now, let's feed you." I opened the cupboard under the sink where we kept our other dog, Butch's food. It was the soft Pedigree stuff, the stuff that made my stomach turn but Butch loved. I got a small bowl out of the sink and poured some into it, then set her down. Her tiny head practically disappeared in the bowl as she ate.

I was watching her eat when the phone rang. My dad went to answer it. "Kayla!" he called, after a minute. "Nick's on the phone. It sounds urgent."

"OK!" I said, trotting over to the phone and taking it from my dad. "Thanks, Dad," I said. Then, into the phone, "Hi, Nick."

Nick sounded really worried. "Kayla, you've got to get down here," Nick said. "Something's seriously wrong with Brian."

My heart jumped into my throat. "What? What's wrong?" I said, breathing heavily.

"I don't know," Nick said. "I think it might be like an after-effect of his surgery or something, but he says he feels really sick. He asked me to call you."

I felt tears coming to my eyes. "I'll be right there," I said. After thanking him and saying goodbye, I hung up.

I hurried back into the kitchen. "Mom, could I use your car?" I asked. "I need to get over to the guys' apartment. Brian's sick, he wants me there."

My mom looked worried. "What's wrong with him?"

"Probably nothing serious," I said. "It's probably just something to do with his heart surgery, but he doesn't feel good and he wants me there."

"Sounds serious enough to me," my mom said. "The keys are on the counter."

"Thanks, Mom!" I said, grabbing the keys and heading out the door. I got in the car and hurried over to the apartment.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I pounded on the front door. Howie came to the door. "Come on in, K," Howie said. "Brian's doing a little better now, he thinks it was just kind of an aftershock type thing."

As I went inside, I saw Brian lying on the couch, still a little pale. I sat down on the floor beside him and brushed his bangs out of his eyes. "Are you OK?" I asked.

He sat up a little. "Yeah, I'm doing better now, it was just kinda a passing pain-type thing, I guess." He sat up completely, and leaned his head back a little, closing his eyes.

"Are you sure you're going to be alright?" I asked, sitting next to him on the couch.

He looked at me, smiled and nodded. "Yeah, I'm a fighter," he said. "I'll be fine. I'm just gonna have to take it easy today, I guess."

I nodded. "Yeah, you'd better take it easy, or you'll be answering to me," I said, smiling.

He stood up. "I'm scared now," he said, laughing. "I'm gonna go get a drink, you want anything?"

"No, that's OK," I said, shaking my head. "I just ate not too long ago."

"OK," Brian said, heading out to the kitchen. I stood up and followed him out, just to be sure he was alright.

He turned around and looked at me, then playfully punched my arm. "Hey, K, I'm fine," he said. "Really. I promise."

"OK," I said, starting to believe him now. He looked like he felt better now even than when I had first gotten here, so I figured he wasn't lying to me.

Brian poured himself a glass of iced tea, put the picther back in the refrigerator, then sat down on one of the stools. I sat down across from him and rested my chin on my hand.

"Oh yeah," Brian said. "Nobody saw me last night, did they?"

I laughed a little. "Well, no one important," I said. Brian smiled and shook his head.

He looked at me. "I hope you don't think I'm nuts or anything," he said, "because I kind of feel like I might be..."

I laughed. "No, I don't think you're nuts," I said. "Well...then again..." I smiled, and Brian laughed a little.

"You're right, I was nuts to begin with," he said. "Never mind."

Nick came in the kitchen. "Hey guys!" he said. "Brian, you feeling better now?"

Brian nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine, Nick," he said. "Thanks."

"DAMN!" Nick said. "I was hoping you'd drop dead so I could get your stuff." I laughed hysterically when I saw the mock look of shock on Brian's face. Brian rolled up a piece of scrap paper and threw it at Nick, hitting him in the forehead with it. Nick picked it up, laughing, and threw it back at him. I grabbed it off the counter and threw it in the trash can before Brian could grab it again.

"Hey!" Brian said, laughing. "What'd you do that for?"

I was still trying to stop laughing. "Because you're acting like a couple of 10-year-olds!" I said. "Cut it out!"

Nick sat down next to me and grabbed an apple out of the basket that was sitting on the small table. He took a bite out of it, then glared at Brian.

"What you be lookin' at, boy?" Brian asked, using his best old-southern-farmer accent.

"Nothin' pappy," Nick said, imitating Brian's accent. "Just, the cows are loose, that's all."

"Lordy!" Brian yelled, still with his phony accent. "Get yer Ma! Get yer Pa! Get John Boy! If Old Man Joe sees them cows, he'll shoot 'em fer sure!" I nearly fell off my stool laughing, and Nick and Brian joined with me.

"You guys are insane," I said, between breaths.

"I could have told you that," Kevin said, coming into the room behind us. "Just think, if we traded places, you could live with this!"

"No thanks," I said, still laughing. "I think I'll keep my pesky little brothers and sisters...then again, you still wanna trade?"

Kevin stopped for a moment. "Uh...lemme think. NO!" he said. He grabbed a soda out of the refrigerator, then left, heading for his room.

Brian finished off his iced tea, then stood up and set the glass in the sink. "I'd wash that, but I'm too lazy and it's Howie's day for dishes anyway," he said, coming over and sitting back down.

I smiled and shook my head. "Yeah, that figures," I said. "If today was your day for dishes, you would have just drank that out of the pitcher."

Brian looked at me, then started laughing. "That's a good idea," he said, "but then I'd have to face the wrath of Kevin. He hates it when anyone does that."

"The wrath of Kevin..." I said, giggling. "That sounds funny. I can't really picture him getting too worked up about anything."

"Believe me, you don't WANT to see it," Nick said, tossing his apple core in the trash can. "It's scary. You'd be lucky if you lived through it."

"Hey!" Kevin said, coming back. "I'm not that bad!" he laughed, then tossed his empty soda can in the trash. "I might maim you, but I wouldn't kill you." He sat down next to Brian.

Brian, playful as usual, sank down in his seat. "Oh no," he said. "He's sitting next to me. He's going to hurt me. I'm scared."

Kevin looked at Brian, smiled, and rolled sparkling green eyes. "You keep that crap up, and I just might," he said.

Brian instantly sat up in his seat. "YESSIR!" he said, saluting Kevin. He laughed.

I looked at Nick, sighed, and smiled. "You guys are so immature," I said. "I LIKE IT!"

"Whoa!" Kevin said. "Kayla made a funny! Call the newspapers! Call Hard Copy! Call Jerry Springer!"

I reached across the table and smacked Kevin in the arm. "Hey! That hurt!" he said, laughing and rubbing his shoulder.

"Good!" I said, laughing. "You deserved it!"

Brian kicked me under the table. "Hey! What the heck was that for?" I asked.

"Nothing," Brian said, shrugging. "I just like to bug you."

"Well, then, keep it up," I said. "You're succeeding!" He smiled at me.

"Well," I said, standing up, "I guess I should get home, I'm supposed to be spending the day with my parents." Brian went out to the door with me.

"I'll see you later," he said. "Thanks for coming over."

"You're welcome," I said. "But I've got a feeling you made that whole 'I-don't-feel-good' thing look a whole lot worse than it really was." I smiled.

Brian shrugged. "My mom always said I should have won the Emmy for most dramatic."

I shook my head, still laughing a little. "Tell your mom I think she's right." With that, I turned and headed down the stairs, got in the car, and headed home.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It had been a few weeks since the last time I'd seen the guys. I'd talked to them over the phone, but my family's schedule had been really hectic, and theirs was getting that way too. My dad had just gotten transferred to Minnesota, so we were getting ready to move. Brian, Howie and the guys were getting ready to go on tour again.

I pulled into the driveway in my mom's car. Brian was standing in the doorway, waiting for me. "It's great to see you again," he said, coming over to give me a hug. "I haven't seen you in ages!"

I returned his hug. "Yeah, it's been too damn long," I said, smiling at him. There was an awkward silence. "So…when do you guys leave?"

"In a few minutes, actually," he said. "I'm really going to miss you. I hope the move goes alright, and hopefully we'll get to see each other again someday."

I felt the tears coming to my eyes. "God, I hope so," I said, coming a little bit closer to him. "I'll never forget you guys. I'll write to you…"

Brian cut me off. "I'll do the same, and I'll get Nick and the guys to write too. Once you get there, let me know what your phone number is so I can call you once in a while, OK?"

That did it. I started crying. "I will," I said. I hugged him again. "I'm going to miss you so much!"

Kevin, Howie, AJ and Nick came out of the house and down the stairs. Kevin locked the door behind him and was the last one to get to me. For the first time I noticed the suitcases, backpacks and duffel bags on the pavement at the foot of the stairs.

AJ was the first one to come over and give me a hug. "We'll see ya, K," he said quietly. As he was finishing his sentence, the guys' huge tour bus pulled into the driveway. "Well, I guess this is it," he said, smiling at me. He picked up a couple of the bags in the pile, threw them nonchalantly in the storage compartment, then hopped up into the bus. "Oh yeah!" he yelled out the window. "Say goodbye to Andrea for me!"

Laughing through my tears, I said, "I will, Bone! Just don't ask me to give her a kiss for you!"

AJ laughed, gave me that look, then pulled his head back into the bus.

Nick grabbed his bags off the ground, gave me a quick hug as he was passing, and said, "Bye, Kayla," before getting on the bus. He never even looked me in the eye. He'd never been good at goodbyes. I waved to him as he boarded the bus.

Kevin had already thrown his stuff into the storage compartment on the bus. Now he came back over to me. "Well, hopefully we'll meet up again some day," he said. "If we don't someone will have to face 'The Wrath Of Kevin'." With that, he picked me up, gave me a hug, swung me around, then set me back down again. "Bye," he said quietly.

"Bye, Kevvy," I said. "I'll miss you." He waved without turning around as he got on the bus.

Brian came up behind me and put his arm around my shoulders. "Don't you dare forget me!" he said.

"Believe me," I said, "it won't happen any time soon." We just looked at each other for a minute, then without saying a word he turned around and got on the bus.

Howie had been sitting on the steps making sure he'd brought everything he needed. He picked up his bags and put them into the storage compartment on the bus, then slowly walked back toward me. "Kayla, I really don't want to have to say goodbye to you," he said quietly, looking at the ground. "I wish you could come with us…"

"So do I," I said. "But not only will your managers not let me, I can't. I'm moving in a couple of days. I'll write to you, Howie…you have no idea how much I'll miss you. All of you."

Howie looked at me. "K, before I leave, I just want to say thank you for everything you've done for me," he said. "You're a great person. Stay that way. Don't ever change, you hear me?"

I nodded, starting to cry again. "I hear you, D," I said, trying to smile. "Now get on the bus, you're holding everyone up as usual."

He gave me a hug, then turned and jumped on the bus. As the doors were shutting, Brian opened his window and yelled, "Are you gonna be OK?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I've got to be getting home," I said. "I'll be alright. Bye!"

Brian said goodbye to me again, then started to shut his window. I turned around.

He opened his window again. "Kayla!" he yelled.

I turned back toward the bus. "What?"

"I forgot! This is from me and the guys!" He stretched his arm out the window and handed me an envelope.

"Thank you!" I said. "Now, get going, you'll never get anywhere on time at this rate! Save a song for me!"

"We will!" Brian said. He shut his window, and with a puff of exhaust the bus pulled out into the road.

I stood there with the envelope in my hand, watching the bus until it was out of sight. With tears running down my face, I opened the envelope. Inside it were 5 sheets of paper, each with a note written on it. I read them aloud.

"Dear Kayla," the first one read, "I'm going to miss you and I hope you never forget the good times we had. Sorry I kinda interrupted you and Brian that time on the island. Like I said that time when we were out on the lawn, I'm kind of a dim bulb. Love, Nick." I smiled, then turned to the next note.

This one was from AJ. "K, keep smiling, don't forget me, and say hi to Andrea. Tell her I'll miss her and I'll write to her as often as I can. That goes for you too. Peace, love, happiness and health, AJ."

I pulled out the next piece of paper. This one was from Howie. "Dear Kayla," it said, "thank you so much for everything you've done for me. You mean the world to me, and I'll never forget you. We love you…Howie."

Next was Kevin's note. "Kayla…We'll miss you and we'll never forget all the good times. Keep that smile…Love, Kevin." With a smile, I looked at the last note. "Kayla…I'll never forget you and everything that ever happened with us. You are one of the most important people in the world to all of us…"

I had to stop for a minute and wipe the tears out of my eyes. Then I read the last line of the note.

"Let's stay friends forever. Love, Brian."

I took a deep breath, folded the sheets of paper, and put them back in the envelope. Then, stuffing the envelope into my pocket as the tears streamed down my face, I got in my mom's car and pulled out of the driveway for the last time.

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