JOIN THE REVOLUTION!!!  
 

Ah, so you've found me. Take a deep breath. This is where it all begins. This is where the revolution starts. In many years, history will look back and say, "ah yes, Faiths shatty page, that's where the rebellion started." We'll all be famous, comrades. Because that's what you are! My comrades! Aren't you proud! [for those of you who have read Animal Farm, fear not, I'm not a pig named Napoleon, and I wont make you build a windmill. For those of you who haven't, well, its the best damn book you can read for a book report. It's short, the plot is easy, the theme is impossible to miss, and its intellectual. Oh, yeah, and its a really good book too.] Soon, news of our rebellion will travel far and wide, inspiring others to rebel, and soon, we will be an army of millions, our ranks spanning the globe, made up of every color, creed, nationality, and sexual preference!
So what is our noble cause, you might ask? For what will we be giving our lives, our sanity, and our spare time? Well, my friends, here it is:

Until recently, I was under a severe repression by society. Yes, you are underneath it, too! Not even Foucault could have dreamed this one up...We are all underneath this obscene oppression, this gross conspiracy, this maniacal scheme to conform us all to one conglomerate of damned souls!  Can you guess what that is? No? Is it too horrible to think about? Well, hide the children and restrain any animals you may have nearby, the truth is shocking:

For all this time, my comrades, for these many years, ever since we brought home our beloved computers, we have been tricked in to making our emoticons, or, "smileys" all the same way, like so: :) . This is a strangulation of our freedoms, my comrades! What would George Washington have said? It is issues like these that formed the very basis of our American Revolution! and the French Revolution too! and the approxomately 890,579,856  revolutions that attempted to free Latin America, and all the other revolutions we didn't have time to learn about in Global Studies [even on flight time!]! But we will be silenced no longer! Join with me, comrades, in taking back what is rightfully ours! Let us all begin to rebel, as one body, and begin to make our smileys like this: (: . Yes, it may take some getting used to. But will it not be worth it? Show society that we will not go gentle in to that good night! We WILL make our smileys backwards! We will be free!
 
 

Isn't it glorious?