The Story

Mr. President, I know that our meeting must be a short one. You are expected by people in the Tropical Room and I have no doubt that your speech on the occasion will be brilliant. But before this I have, as tradition demands, to reveal you some things that the head of state, and only he, must know. I am afraid that it will take some time to tell you everything and your guests could lose patience... Not that it's my business, not anymore. From now on, you'll be the host. You'll find, I am sure, an explanation, an excuse, some kind of a joke to please them. But why don't we sit down? Try that armchair... comfortable, isn't it? Real Cordoba leather. Or would you rather take place at the presidential desk? It's all yours, starting today. I think, nevertheless, that it would be nicer to have our little chat sitting in the armchairs. So, as from one president to another. Would you like a cup of coffee? No? Maybe something stronger? A drop of whisky? A glass of champagne? Well, as you wish, I won't press you. . .

Let me tell you, this presidential job is really amazing! Now a summit, now a mediation, or a dinner, a message, an interview, a protest rally, an attempted assassination, an autograph, well, one simply cannot be bored. . . You understand, I am sure, a president has no right to look bored. He must stay always awake, to preside over the nation, to defend and guarantee the Constitution night and day, without break. Yes, even at night, no derogation, even in your sleep you will dream only articles of the Constitution, every single night from now on, until the end of your mandate. . .

So... what were we talking about? Oh, yes, the state secrets. But, after all, what does a state secret mean? And why need states secrets? Why are you looking at me like that? Are you in a hurry? I don't see why. From now on, you will be the president of this country for five years. And, if re-elected, another five. Five plus five make ten, so you have all the time in the world... I know that you feel the emotion of the moment, it's natural. After all, you become the president of the country for the first time in your life. I understand you perfectly. Who? Me? Well, yes, I had some emotions, too, the first time. But now, I must confess, my emotions are even bigger. It is for the first time, and, as stated by the Constitution, the last, since I was already re-elected once, so, it is the first and last time that I make over the presidential mandate. The prerogatives, as they say. And, of course, the state secrets. Yes, we'll get them at the right moment, don't be too curious. You still don't take a spot of something? Well, as you wish, let's stay sober. Until possible.

Because, let me tell you something. Even the most anti-alcoholic man takes to drink in this job. It is one of the secrets I am revealing you today. Don't you take notes? You should better do it, because it will be kind of difficult to remember, at the beginning, all the formulas. You don't need to take notes? My dear sir, ours is not a job for amateurs!

. . . I come, myself, from a family of politicians, but I now that's not customary in our country. In the last 25 years we had a veterinary president, two engineers... you say? Oh, yes, you are a lawyer. Constitutional law, I hope. No? Penal law? Oh, no? Thanks God, I wouldn't have liked to leave the power to a man who was defending criminals. And what's your specialty? What? Divorce? That's bad. Very bad. You must totally change your stand. The president has to guarantee the unity of the country, meanwhile you, as a divorce lawyer, prone the separation. From separation to secession it's only a step, take care . . .

Now, what do we have in the safe? Here is the ultimate treasure of this country, the key of our successes, the secret of our admission to all the international organizations, all the councils, treaties, unions, committees and so on. It is the complete list - complete, yes, but not final, because you too can bring your personal contribution, as I well hope you will, not to speak about the international situation, rather flow - the list, I was saying, of all the cocktails one can mix using the national drinks of the states you can see on the world map above, with their respective recipes. You don't think much of it? But what were you expecting to find in the safe? The nuclear code? You make me laugh, one can open this safe with a hairpin. And you must indeed have more trust in the strategic role of the drink list. I hope that you will take your time to study it thoroughly, it's worth it, I know what I say.

. . . Now I really must drink something, and then I could leave you and go my way. It was nice to have this little chat . . . What do you say? Oh, the nuclear secret! Didn't I tell you about it? What a mistake! What a mistake! Well, then, let me sit down once more in this armchair, mix another geo-strategic drink and I'll tell you everything. What should we drink at this moment? We must choose something appropriate. What would you say about a sake-bourbon? Or a Mururoa-fizz? Or maybe a Tchernobylskaya? No. I thought so. Let's better drink something festive and joyful. A glass of champagne. . . Oh, please, don't rush me. One should say that you have made all this huge effort - you spent a fortune with the campaign for the election - only in order to learn the nuclear secret. . .

Do you really want to learn the nuclear secret?

Read this!

Letter to the Reader

As you can see, my story is about an acting president and a president elect, at the very moment of taking over. It is written in Romanian and I tried, as well as I could, to translate just a few pages for you. If you like it and want to read it all, if you want to learn the nuclear secret, why don't you, my favorite reader, find me a publisher to have it translated into English and printed.

THE NUCLEAR SECRET

is published in the volume