Being accepted into society is a very hard job these days. It takes balls to talk to anyone unless you're the really outgoing type, then you have to worry about what they could do in response. Now days, you have to worry about peers at school, people in the work place, what they think of your clothes, of your car, who it is you associate with and their rep. "Can I avoid all this?" Sure! Either don't care, or lock yourself up in an insanity ward of a hospital. But, if you do that, who knows how long you'll be there, and you won't learn anything. Sound fun yet? Okay- and you won't grow. Part of life is learning and growing. Most of this either happened to me, or about happened to me. And I grew up. Sad thing is... I lerned that hard way...
From what I remember, it all started in the fifth grade. We had moved around a lot and finally chose a place not that far from my home state, but all my family lived here in Alabama. So lucky us, we now did too. They had given me that lame excuse, "My family lives there- I loved it, and I just -know- you will too!" Bullhockey.. We are about as far south as hell is, only we keep the Southern accents. My best friend and his family went everywhere we did... Lord only knows why... everyone called us, and they still do call us "the twins seperated at birth" or "the two partners in crime only she starts the trouble tag team" Ain't got nothin' better to do here, so why not stay in trouble? Anyway, I was the one determined not to make any new friends and to stay miserable and in so much trouble, that we'd go back to North Carolina. Wrong, they knew what I was trying to do so we stayed here. People tried to accept me because I was "cool" in their eyes- swearing, drugs, alcohol, smoking. Only thing missing at this time was sex. Then that finally came about. Curt did all those things too, but he allowed people to accept him. I was the rebel of us two.
As we grew up, I rebelled more and more, but got some pretty kick ass friends. One being Matt*. It's about Christmas time, 1999. I've liked the dude since I laid eyes on him. He had everything! Eyes, smile, physique, personality.. everything! So me and him hooked it up. To this day, we're still going strong in our relationship. But something happened to him, that shoud've killed him. At one time, as much as I hate saying it as well as anyone else he knows, we wished he had. He was in too much pain. He'd gotten a blow to the head during spring break. He wasn't expected to make it through the first night, but he did. He went into a coma and we pretty much knew he'd die.. but luckily he didn't. He improved day by day, and he was still his typical smartass self the whole time. He was also expected to remain nothing more then a vegestable with what all took place during this time, but he's talking and working on walking again.
The other day, a buddy of his told me something that made me feel really good. He told me that he now sees why he chose me. I asked him why, and he told me "Because you are the only girl so far that he's come across that has a kick ass personality and a smile that can brighten up a room full of sad and crying people, and that's exactly what he looks for and now he has found it.. don't lose him and don't you let him lose you..." Words will never be able to describe how that made me feel. I wanted to cry, but didn't. I fought it with my pride in the way yet again, and just smiled.
Miracles can happen- let them.. we did and kept the love of my life..
-Written by AJ