I.just.choose.not.to................

Unwhole
Strangers
Her Name
Heart Shaped Puzzle
Never Better
My Little World
Emotional Draining/ Desperate
Lost Love
I Expected
Could You?
Convenient
Bitterness
Pain

UNWHOLE

You left, and cut my wings in mid-flight.
I try to soar, but you've taken all the air.
It would be easier, if you had left with your body,
but you've taken your mind, and left me half, alone, unwhole.
A thousand roses, would never let me know you care,
because now I realize, now I realize,
that all you cried, whispered, screamed, and spoke,
Were lies.

STRANGERS

Visions of carefree strangers,
Passing endlessly across my window.
Holding hands, laughing fighting.
Humanity at it's finest.

I look at you.
Beside me, and a million miles away.
She is on your thoughts, as you touch my hand.

I want your happiness,
so I let you go,
and you become another carefree stranger on the street.

HER NAME

Twist the knife deeper.
Stab me harder love.
Words are weapons,
shaper than blades
Wrap your hands around my throat,
and tell me her name.

HEART SHAPED PUZZLE

And my heart is broken once again.
I pick up all the pieces,
and find a few missing, once more.
So many holes, in this perverse jigsaw puzzle.
I guess you stole a few fragments,
on your way out.

NEVER BETTER

Always the singer, the actress
Singing the song, playing the role.
Never the writer, never in control.
Never the one, who decides who will hurt whom.

Always in a flurry,
Mind grasping to find truth.
Never the director, never the coach.
Always at the mercy,
of those who never learnt my name.

MY LITTLE WORLD

In my little world,
you never left.
You never saw her face,
or touched her cheek.
In my little universe,
you still rule, in glory.
You never spoke soft words to her,
practiced on me.
In my little home,
you are still beside me.
You never left my kingdom,
to wander into her Camelot.
In my little realm,
I don't cry every night.
I don't wait by the phone,
or stand at my window.
I know it is a silly little world,
but since you left,
it is all I have.

EMOTIONAL DRAINING / DESPERATE

You have torn me asunder,
ripped my being, from my flesh.
Your love comes at such a high price.
It is a entity not within my grasp.

Touch my skin, with your cold hand.
Your nails, like claws across my back.
Hold me tight in your fatal embrace.
Sink your fangs, in my throat, and drain me.

You take too much.
You seize all emotions, and all of my nature.
You take from me,
a gift I did not want to give.
Drank in my mortality, and swallowed me down.

Feel me, as I move through your body.
My own, laying on the floor,
like an abandoned rag- doll.
Let me fill your every need once more.

LOST LOVE

I sit in my window,
my knees hugged tight to my chest.
My breaths coming in gasps,
made painful, by my constant sobbing.
My cheeks are stained,
with the torrents of tears flowing down.
The view, of the moon lit sky,
is clouded, by the salt in my eyes.
I mourn the loss,
of a love, that was never mine to begin with.

I EXPECTED

You gave me one
sweet, soft kiss,
then turned
and walked away.
I expected
nothing more from you.
I expected
nothing less.

COULD YOU?

Could you love me, for me?
Could you see past the illusion?
Past the walls I have built?
If you touched me, would you think of only me?

I am sorry that I doubt you.
I am sorry that I don’t believe in love.
But I have been hurt before, and don’t know, if I can bear it again.

Do you trust me?
Can I trust in you?
Does the possibility outweigh the risk?
Could I give you myself, without fear?

I hate myself, for being so sad.
I hate that I am so cold.
I hate that I can’t allow myself happiness.
I wish that I could love again.....

Could you love me?
Could I love myself?

CONVEINENT

I hate to live like this.
Cold.
Veins packed tight with ice.

Bitterness, like a newly opened flower,
visable for all to see, so bright.

Manipulated,
so easily, like a cog in a machine.
Your machine, your operation.

I was just a convenience.
Something to use,
until I was all used up.

Then no longer convenient.

BITTERNESS

Lips stained, by the taste of you.
Eyes corrupted by the sight of you.
You’ve inspired so much in me,
I’ve re-discovered bitterness because of you.

PAIN

Turn your eyes away.
You don’t need to see me like this.
Bruised and battered, laying on the floor.
Look away.
I know you can not stand
to see the pain of another living thing.
I know you can not stand
to see the pain you caused.

More to come at a later date....




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