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| ................ | You are the dream I have, even when my eyes are awake. You have been, since the first night I heard your voice. |
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I could feel your hands find solace in the small of my back, and my hands reached up around the back of your neck. As you kissed me deeply, my hands ran into your thick hair, and I could feel your body tense against my own.
This was everything I had ever imagined it to be. Meeting you, after all these months. Time spent, went so quickly, looking back, seemed like an eternity. Days ran into weeks, first talking briefly in one of the rooms, then in messages, then in private chats. I was so scared to give you my phone number. I trusted you, but still… somehow, it was a scary thing too. I had never given that out before. Weeks ran into months, talking to you every night. Hearing your voice on the other end, saying good night, and falling asleep, only to dream of you. Scanning the white pages, to find the cheapest long distance rate, so that I could talk to you even more. Burning up my phone card. Writing huge letters, siting in class, or at work, thinking of nothing but you. And then finally, to meet you. A pre- arranged spot. Somewhere neutral. Somewhere public. Yes, I am sorry. Even then I was paranoid. Seeing the face, from so many pictures sent. Seeing the pendant, on the rope around your neck. Fingering the earrings I wore. That nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach. Catching your eye, then looking away, as if I had not seen you at all. Wondering if you were going to come over to me, after all. Hoping, praying to whatever god is out there, that you would feel the same way in person, as you did before. Looking up, and seeing you stand before me. I rose, and looked at you. I silently mouthed your name, then smiled, as you did the same. An awkward moment, as we both stood there, then I wrapped my arms around you, as I promised I would. I could feel your arms around me, and your body tense against my own. I pulled back slowly, after moments holding you, long awaited. I looked deeply into your eyes, and you smiled. You tilted your head to the side, and I didn't have to even think, before I stood on tip toe, and kissed you deeply. You pulled me so close to you, that I could feel the buttons on your shirt press through my t- shirt fabric, and every other part of you. I could feel the heat of your body, as I tasted your lips. Everyone was looking at us, I could feel their eyes on us. Two lovers, far too long apart. Two freaks in this world, found in the shadows of one anthers infinite embrace. I felt nervous, and self -conscious, and pulled back from the kiss, resting my head on your shoulder. You already knew me too well, and you softly told me that no one was watching, but, as I opened my eyes, I could see they were. I looked at our reflection in the glass of the building across the street. I recognized you. I hardly recognized myself. Smiling, for the first time, in a long while. Happy. Safe. In Love. So many words, none of them properly express the depth of emotions that I have for you. You are the one thing that keeps me sane. You are the one thing that I think of, at all times. Your mere existence, brings meaning to my life. I love you. I adore you. I would die for your life. I need you. I need to know that another soul exists in this world, that is connected to mine. You slowly moved, and we kissed once more. My hands dropped, and I raked my nails lightly down your back. You cupped the back of my head in one hand, and stroked my hair. I softly murred as we kissed, and you pulled me to you. Kisses were not enough. I wanted nothing but everything of you. And, so it was. This story was written before I met the man I loved in person from on line. The real meeting was nothing like this fantasy, but I still think it is a beautiful thought.
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