14.10.2003 Stealing time to write even a little. A big hunger is growing inside of me. I am moving fast and slow at the same time. I want to change, yet I lack the information to do it. I feel bleak right now. Work at a killer pace, yet dear to me. I yearn for solitude... time to ponder things, just be, walk around, make sure I do what feels most important at the time, simply what I want. That's what I lack. So maybe I should just provide myself with some time!?