October 14, 1999

3:03 pm

Life after the "Refresh" button

First things first! I have started titeling some of my journal entrys on my journal page, so I thought that today's was ironically appropriate! You know when a page freezes on the net...and you hit reload? Well, that is what's happened with my life! Me and Adam aren't together anymore..and I thought that my life would end. But you know what? It hasn't, and I am the same person I was before! Amazing, huh? Maybe not to anyone else, but it really was to me! My life wasn't changed extramly, but it is different. But I am still the same person, and amazingly, I am a better person that I was before! And heck! I even know how to talk to guys, which amazes me the most!:)

Now on with the refreshed me...Last night, *after I had alread writen* I was getting ready to get in the shower after Dawson's Creek when my sister stold me to come down stairs. I went down and said that I only had a towl on and she said to get dressed and come down. I knew then that Adam was here. I thought crap! I jumped in the shower anyway and then got dressed. We talked a lot and I cryed a lot without getting anything accomplished other than coming to an agrement to stay friends. After that I was too upset to go to bed, so I got online and went to my town's chatroom on mIRC to find someone to talk to...and I did :) He told me what I need is a fling, so if anyone out there knows of a good rebound guy....give him my adress *my webpage address that is :)*

Okay, so today I am trying to get throught the day without breaking down, but it was hard! Today would have been our 2 year, 4 month anniversary :{ One of my friends, Holly, and her boyfriend's anniversary always fell on the same day as ours..different months but the same day non the less. So today was their one year, and she was all excited, and kept talking about it, but it was hard for me to hear her. I don't think she realized it, but she talked about it at least 2 or 3 times with me around, and I know shes excited! A year is a big thing, but still! It's hard! Then at lunch, Adam's little sister sits at the other end of the table we eat at and she asked me what was going on. She said that Katie had told her to ask me about it, and I told her to ask her brother about it. I really like Kristen, and I felt awful not telling her..but I think she knows now :{ I really hope she doesn't hate me! I really hope that his entire family doesn't hate me....Lord knows my family sure isn't too fond of me now.

Okay. So yeah! I was planning on visiting my friend Stephanie, but now I can't because I can't get the car and my friend Katie can't drive *shes friends with Steph too, and her boyfriend (Zach) goes to Ohio Northern too* because her mom doesn't like her driving so far...which I understand! My mom doesn't want me to either, but she said that if I did have a car to drive, she'd probally let me because she knows that I need to do it sometime...why not now? :) SO yeah...I asked everyoen I know who could possibly go, and noone can! :{ I just wrote one last friend and e-mail to see if she wants to go, but she is probally working this weekend so I don't know! :{

On Sat. my friend Maya is going to Kennyon University to their open house with her parents, and she invited me to go because she heard they have a good writing program, but I don't know. I thought I had decided on Bowling Green until I talked to a girl who's friends with one of my friends. Megan *the girl* used to go to B.G. but she transfered to a comunity college near home because the school was just so big! She said she has a freshman chem. class with about 300 people! CHEMISTRY WITH 300 PEOPLE? I can barly handel having a class of 30! How would I deal with 100 times that many? :{ So I think I am going to start looking into private schools, they may be more expensive..but hey, you have to do whay you have to do? :) *Let me just state for the record that Ohio Northern is looking pretty good to me at the tmie :)*

Tonight I have to work at 6:00 until 10:00 and I am really excited, which sounds geeky, but finally I get some more hours! Yeah, I still only get paid minimum wage, but hey! 4 extra house will reallyhelp! :)

So yeah, my chemistry project is to reserch a famouse chemist, or scientist...so me and Kate have been working together, but we need to get together this weekend to finish it up so I have to try and make time for that :{ Ugh! Stuff is confusing! I am taking a government class I have to have to graduate through correspondence *they mail me the book and tests and stuff* and it still hasn't come in, and it's been about 3 weeks! :{ I just really hope that it comes in soon! I wanted to try and get it done by like Thanksgiving, but there is no way I can do that..so maybe by christmas or the first of the year! :) I can do this! I need to be positive about somethin ("I'm positive I'm a no good loser!" --Jan Brady)

Ah! This is the third time that I have added to this page! *lol* But I think this is the last time :) I know that I didn't write *and usually don't write about* anything good that happened today, so I am going to try and start writing more good things that happen throughout the day! :) Today in Psych we got breakfast for Burger King which was really great! 2 girls left during period 1 to go the McDonald's and B.K. and got us what we wanted...*we put our orders in yesterday* so that was cool! I got an egg and cheese sandwhich with a large coffee..that I still ahve coffee breath from, after several peices of gum and lunch! *lol* but it was really fun! *and yummy!*

Okay, so now everything has been updated to you all...if anyone ever even reads this! Ha! Oh well..even if noone does, it's good for me :)

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