Today I have spent leasualy laying around the house, and researching publications. I have decided that I would love to find a publisher, but I don't know how I will deal with rejections.
My mother has always been very hard on me, even if she doesn't realize it. She has never been very suportive of me or my writing, and if I would tell her about my ambitions, I am affraid that I will be rejected before even sendin off a manuscript! I have sent poems out many times to different webpages to be published, and have never been rejected by them, but I sent one into a contest put on by the comunity college, and I didn't even get my self addressed stamped envolpe back until it was 3 months later.
I have felt overwhelmed so many times at life and the crap that I get, and when I write I am able to get that all off of mychest, but for about a year, I was at a total loss of words. I couldn't get inspired to write, and now i can't stop. Why do I go through phases like this? I re-read most of my poems and am very impressed with most of them! Why can't I feel good about my writing once it is out in circulation?
I feel so bad, my favorite teacher has called 3 times and I haven't been home to get the message, but I am glad. You see, she wants me to babysit, and I don't really like children too much...and I had a friend who babysat last summer for her and she had to a lot! I cherish my days, like today, that I have off from work! I wish I had more of a backbone!
Adam is gone today andI miss him so much. He called me at 5:00 this morning whenhe had to get up and we talked for 15 minutes, but I still miss him. He went to an amusement park and I am sure he is having great fun, I could have gone but no! I get too car sick now and am affraid of heights so have problems on roller coasters..:{ Oh well...I will talk to him tomorrw.
