August 17, 1999
10:38 am
You know those friends, who are so great at one time and then out of the blue they just up and change? Well that seems to happen to me more than anyone else I know. And I am sick of it! I have had it happen to 3 or 4 of my friends and I still feel like it is all new to me.It all started with my best friend since kindergarden. We both just grew up a little, and I guess that wasn't awful. We still converse and are really friendly. We just don't go out or anything. The next friend was mentally ill..actually the next 3 were. And I am sure I am the magnent to them.
I guess with all of my friend that I have lost over the years have just grown apart, but it scares me now. I am terrified that my great friends I have now will someday soon become sick of me. But everytime I get a new group of friend I think, We will be friends forever...and then something happens, usually we don't have classes anymore together but still! So I don't know. I think though that this time me and all of my best friends are the real thing this time. Before, there were only one on one or at the most there were 3 of us in the little groups. Now there are...7 no..8no..9 of us and I think that really helps. We are able to talk to eachother about what is bothering us without hurting the others *you know, like first talking to another friend and seeing what they thing* and if we get a little too sick of one person we have 8 other people to fall back on! We are all pretty much into the same thing, we don't party...or I guess I should say most of us don't like to go out every weekend and drink. We all like the same sort of things...we have lots of the same classes and it really is just all around great!
I guess I have probally just been hurt one to many times, but I think, no, I know that I am ready to do this all again. When I worry too much about things like this is when stuff gets tough. The start of a new school year is always a little hard for me because that is when friendships start, and when friendships end..but I am ready, even if I have to go about it without my best friend, Adam.
