Fukina Toby had been missing for a week now and Marsha just didn't know what to do with herself. Today she was headed to the pound to see what comfort might be found there. Toby was a small dog, a tiny shitzu. His fur a gray and white combination of fluff. His eyes caught her heart in that window long ago. As she walked down the street thinking about the time she saw Toby in the pet store she heard a familiar sound.

"Toby?" she said. She headed down an alley towards the faint sound. She saw a man walking a half block ahead of her through the alley. "Hey mister! Have you seen a dog around here?" she shouted. The man turned and looked at her. As he turned Marsha noticed he was carrying something. She started walking faster to catch up with the man and find out what he knew about her precious Toby. Her heals were clicking now as she called out again. "Excuse me sir, but have you seen a dog around here? I heard a bark earlier and was just wondering if maybe you knew where it came from." This Marsha said cautiously. With a light mist falling, and the darkness of the alley itself, Marsha proceeded carefully towards the man who had stopped at the sound of her question.

The man was a tall lanky character wearing a black overcoat. He smelled of something familiar, yet repulsive. It was the smell of formaldehyde from highschool biology class. Marsha hurriedly caught up to the man, clicking her heels fast along the black pavement. With the sound of her approaching he quickly turned around to meet her gaze, slightly startling her for a moment. She noticed a droplet of water rolling down his face.

"I'm sorry to be bothering you, but have you seen a dog around here?" Marsha inquired. The man just looked at Marsha for what seemed like an eternity.

"I'm sorry, but I haven't seen a dog." With this he turned around and walked away. Marsha was not satisfied with this response.

"Well, you did hear the dog earlier right? I was just wondering if you knew where the sound had come from." The man stopped again. Marsha could see he was fiddling with something under his coat, she remembered the package she had seen him carrying earlier. The rain was coming down harder now, the sound of it making the alley seem quieter. Again he turned around to look in Marsha's eyes.

" I did hear a dog earlier, but the sound came from somewhere else, it was not from this alley ma'am." He looked at his watch. "Ma'am, I'm late already for an appointment, so if you don't mind I'll be on my way now." With this he began to walk away again, faster then before. The rain was pounding on the ground.

"Wait!" Marsha called out. "I distinctly heard the sound coming from this alley. You're telling me now that it was from somewhere else? That's impossible, I know I heard the bark come from down here." Again the man stopped, this time his face was a little red. Marsha could tell he was getting upset. She remembered where she was and calmed herself down a bit. "I'm sorry." She said. "It's just that my dog has been missing for a couple days now. I was hoping maybe that bark I heard was his."

"Ma'am, the bark was not from this alley. If it was from this alley, I have no idea where it came from, I have seen not one sign of a dog down here." With this he turned back around and walked away again, adjusting whatever it was he was carrying under his coat.

Marsha just stood there in the alley. The rain had matted her hair down along her face. Mascara ran from her eyes. Then she noticed something, or more likely came to realize something. She rushed to catch up with the man again, rain splashing from the puddles as she ran. "Wait sir! I have one last question for you." With this the man slowly stopped and turned around.

"What do you want now? I really don't have time for you and your lost dog."

"I just wanted to ask you one last question, what is it that you're carrying under your coat?"

"Excuse me?" he said. "Please don't tell me you think I'm carrying a dog under my coat." He let out a small laugh.

"Well…" she looked at the ground. "I did have a small thought about it. So, show me what it is!"

"God." He gasped. He slowly unbuttoned his coat. "It's not a dog I promise you." He let out a laugh again. Marsha peered intensely at him unbuttoning his coat. She missed Toby so much, the playful way he'd tug at her clothing when he wanted to go for a walk. The man undid one last button before lifting something out from under his coat.

"Does this look like a dog to you?" he said, lifting a small plush elephant from under his coat. "Now can I be on my way? I'm late from my lunch break already. I do need to get back to the mortuary."

"Oh! I'm so sorry sir. Don't let me keep you one moment longer. I just got so caught up in my search. Oh my, please, just ignore me and keep on your way." She let out a small laugh. "God, and I thought you were carrying my dog under there, bringing him to some untimely death involving illegal experiments." She laughed again.

The man buttoned up his coat and walked off into the rain again. Marsha just sat herself down on a stoop, thinking about what a fool she had been. Pulling her coat up over her head, she slowly stood back up and ran back out to the main street. She was soaked at this point. Hailing a cab she was back on her way to the pound. She fumbled through her purse, removing a small mirror, some tissue, and an entire self-maintenance kit of face makeover material. Realigning herself, she wiped and dabbed, reapplied and corrected, making right all that the rain had made wrong. The cab pulled over to the curb, she rushed out, reinvigorated in her quest for Toby. Her hopes again surfaced, replacing the fear and despair she'd achieved in the alley.

Running across the street to the revolving door of the pound, her heal caught a crack in the road, with a snap she went down to the ground. The puddles below her splashed with her fall, traffic came to a halt. Picking herself up, she tried playing it off. She looked back towards the ground as she continued on her way across the street, making sure to look two or three times at the crack that had pulled her down. Again headed for the pound, one heel in hand the other on foot, she hobbled along. Brushing aside a loose strand of hair which had draped itself around her face, she shuffled on over to the front desk.

"Excuse me, but I lost my dog a while ago, and was just wondering if I might be able to take a look around, see if he may have shown up since last time I checked."

"Oh sure ma'am, the dog kennels are located through the door on your left." This, the woman at the front desk told her below a smirk she couldn't help show.

"Thank you," she said. And she headed for the door, dreaming she'd open it to the sight of Toby's longing eyes, longing for home. Pushing against the swinging door, Marsha walked on in. The sound was overwhelming. Dogs barked and yelped immediately upon her entrance into their world. Her ears piqued, hoping to filter out the sound of Toby's bark from those of the other dogs. Slowly she walked along the kennels, each one renewed her hope, and each one increased her fear. As she approached the last she knew her hopes were in vain. It's then that she noticed the leaf in her hair. A brown glob which had attached itself to her somewhere along the way. Picking it out with her lee press on nails, all done up in bright red, she sat herself down, humiliated in defeat. Her clothes were still wet and made a sloshing sound as she plopped herself down the ground. There she was in the middle of the kennel. Dogs yelping around her for attention, she was oblivious to their pleas. The only thing she could think of was her dear sweet Toby. Where could he be? She wondered. What a mess she must look like. She decided it was time to head home, the day was a disaster, and she was a disaster. Removing her other shoe, she pulled herself to standing by use of the kennel gate on her left. The metal was cold on her bare hand, her fingers entwined among the diamonds it made. Having to walk past the counter was of no consequence to her, Marsha's only concern was Toby, not how she appeared at the moment. She'd given up on that the moment her face met the pavement.

Outside the rain had stopped, most likely just stalled, so Marsha again grabbed the nearest cab, heels in hand. The cab smelled like burnt cloves, it was saturated with the odor. It was all Marsha could do to keep breathing in the thick of it. The cab glided along, weaving through the traffic as though of it's own will, the cabby was just along for the ride with her. As they approached her apartment, she noticed John's car out in front. Oh perfect, She thought! Not only did I not find Toby, but NOW I have to deal with john, and look at me, I'm a horrible mess.

"Hey Marsha," he called out as she tried to crawl out of the cab unnoticed.

"Hi John." She said.

"Boy do you look like a mess." He let out a lighthearted laugh. " I was just in the neighborhood and thought I'd give you a ring, see if you wanted to grab some coffee at Ma's down the street."

Marsha looked at him, straight in the eyes. "Do I look like I'm ready to go to Ma's right now?" She questioned him. "John, I've told you before, you can't just come over when you feel the need for some human affection, I've moved on, why can't you?" Marsha started up the steps to her apartment, praying this would send John on his way, she didn't want him hanging around. She didn't want to continue this thing they had going, or John had going for himself.

"It's just coffee Marsha." He said. "I'm not after anything here, just thought it would be nice to have a cup and talk, we haven't talked in months really."

"We haven't talked John because all we have now is sex. What's there to talk about? We're not in a relationship, but you still feel the need to come over here for weekly 'discussions'. Well John, I'm through enabling your addiction to me. Go find yourself another whore to pump." With that Marsha stormed up the steps, trying to make a scene. She couldn't help but want him still herself. He was a doctor, he had meant something to her, and God knows she enjoyed these encounters as much as he did. But she was done playing these games. She couldn't help wonder why he kept returning, like a stray dog who was drawn to the wrong doorstep. He knew as well as she did they couldn't be in a relationship with eachother, but still he kept coming over. She knew she couldn't deny him if he persisted, but still she tried. Just as someone would try paying no attention to the stray on the street, but would be unable to resist upon it's persistent appearance, she tried to ignore John's requests, but gave in with his continued appeal. Opening the door to her apartment, she turned around and glanced in his direction. There he was, all done in khakis, blue eyes meeting hers, she couldn't help herself. "O.K. John, give me a minute to change and clean up." She couldn't resist those puppy-dog eyes. John just smiled and rushed up the stairs, holding open the door for her as they entered the apartment.

She quickly changed while John waited in the kitchen. Tossing on a new outfit, combing out the mats in her hair, again touching up her make-up. She grabbed her purse and opened the bedroom door.

"Ready?" she asked.

"Let's go!" he said.

With that they headed out into the street, the sun was peeking out from behind the clouds now, the air was warming up a bit.

"So, if you don't mind my asking, what happened to you today?" John asked as they walked along.

"Oh, nothing out of the ordinary." Marsha replied. "I've just been looking for Toby, he got out again, this time he's been missing for a week."

"He'll turn up," John replied. "He always does."

"He better! I spent the last week searching for him, today I even searched the pavement." With this they both laughed, though John appeared to be holding back.

"Ahh, so that explains the streak of dirt that was on your cheek earlier."

"That explains it," she said. Her eyes focused on his funny lip shape, the way it drew her in. She held back, trying to resist. After all, they were just going for coffee. Let's not start this again, she thought.

"I haven't been to Ma's since the last time you were over, almost two weeks ago." She said. "Remember when we used to go there every night together?"

"Yeah, I remember Marsha. I figured I'd stop on over and we could have a little talk. Like I said, I'm just here for coffee, and besides, I've got something on my mind."

"What is it?" Marsha asked.

"I'll tell you when we get there O.K.?"

"O.K." she responded. The conversation drew quiet, Marsha's thoughts turned to what he might be thinking. What did he need to talk to her about? She didn't need any of this today, no probing discussions. All she wanted to do was go home and take a hot bath. Her thoughts again returned to Toby, how he would lie there on the fluffy pink rug as she relaxed in the tub. They were approaching Ma's now. It was a dingy place, low lighting, the air filled with smoke, but it had been they're place. They entered and sat themselves down at a small booth in the corner. Ordering two black coffees, they got themselves situated in the conversation.

"So what did you need to talk to me about?"

"Marsha, I'm not sure you want to hear this, and I'm sure you don't want to hear it from me, but I just have to tell you." This John said as the waitress placed the two coffees in front of them. The steam was rising up between them.

"What is it John? It can't be all that bad." Marsha grew a little worried at this point. What on earth could he be talking about?

"Marsha, I know what happened to Toby." He sat back in the booth, no longer leaning on the table.

"Well tell me!" she commanded. "Where's Toby? I miss that dog so much. He was my only constant companion, you know how much I loved that dog. So tell me where he is. Have you done something with him?"

"Marsha, you know how it's been almost two weeks since the last time I saw you? And well, we usually see eachother at least once a week right?"

"Yeah, go on."

"Well, the reason I didn't see you last week was because of Toby."

"Get to the point John. What happened to Toby?"

"Marsha, last week I did come over to see you again. I was heading around the corner when it happened."

"When WHAT happened? Spill it John!"

"Marsha, I hit Toby with the car. I, I didn't' have the guts to tell you last week."

"You did what?"

"I hit Toby with the car. I feel really bad Marsha, that's why it took me so long to tell you."

Marsha picked herself up, she was raging at this point. Tears were welling in her eyes, a mix of emotions took over.

"John, I can't believe you did this." She said. "You were coming over to get your fill of sex from me and you killed my dog in the process. And what was that part about 'Oh, he'll turn up don't worry Marsha.' You bastard!" Marsha picked up her cup of steaming hot coffee, dumping it on his lap. With that she stormed out of Ma's, wiping away the tears. It would be the last time she visited there.

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