Fusion Comix--The Best Of Comic Book Fandom--Daily Bugle

One day a boy named Tommy walks into school. His teacher asks him "Tommy do you know the first four letters of the alphabet?" Tommy replies "No." So the teacher says go home and tomorrow come in and know the first four letters of the abc's. So he says "Yes ma'am."
So he goes home and his mom is on the telephone. Tommy asks "Mom what is the first letter of the alphabet?" His mom says "Be Quiet!" So he says okay. Then he goes to his little brother who was watching Batman. Tommy says "Little brother what is the second letter of the alphabet?" And he says "Na na na na Batman!" So Tommy says okay. Next Tommy goes to his big sister who was listening to music. And says "Big sister what is the third letter of the alphabet?" And she says "Yeah, yeah, yeah." Tommy says okay. Finally he goes to his father who was using the bathroom and was looking for toilet paper. And he Tommy says "Daddy, what is the forth letter of the alphabet?" And his dad says "toilet paper, toilet paper, toilet paper." So Tommy says okay now I know the first four letters of the alphabet.
The next morning Tommy walks into the classroom and the teacher says "Tommy, do you know the first four letters of the alpabet?" Tommy replies "Be Quiet!" Then the teacher says "Who do you think you are?" "Na, na, na, na Batman!" The teacher says "Do you want to go to the principal's office?" Tommy replies "Yeah, yeah, yeah".
Finally the teacher says "Are you looking for trouble?" Tommy says "No toilet paper, toilet paper, toilet paper!"

Q: What do you call a computer superhero?
A: a screensaver!
Q: What is black and white and red all over?
A: The Daily Bugle!
Nurse: The invisible woman is in the waiting room
Doctor: Tell her I can't see her!
Q: Where does Spiderman find a date?
A: The world wide web!
Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile?
A: "Robin, get in the Batmobile!"
Q: What do you call Batman and Robin after they've been in an elephant stampede?
A: Flatman and Ribbon!
Q: What's the difference between Batman and a thief?
A: Batman can go without Robin!
Q: What does Batman's mum call when she want's him to come in for dinner?
A: DINNER dinner DINNER dinner, DINNER dinner DINNER dinner BATMAN!
Q: Why did Spiderman cross the road?
A: To get to another website!
Q: Why did Batman climb the tree?
A: To get to Robin's nest!
Q: What did Batman wear on his first day of school?
A: His bat-to-school clothes!
Q: Why did the robber paint his hands blue?
A: He didn't want Spiderman to catch him red handed!
Q: Why did Catwoman go to the North Pole?
A: She wanted to be a cool cat!
Q: What goes ha ha thump?
A: The Hulk laughing his head off!
Q: Why did Professor X unplug the doorbell?
A: He wanted to win the Nobel prize!
Q: Why did Wolverine go to the laundromat?
A: He wanted to wash his fur coat!
Q: Why did Spiderman get a computer?
A: To find the world wide web!
Two-Face: "Get out of my face, clown!"
Joker: "Which one?"
Q: What do you get when you cross a person and a web?
A: Spiderman!

Q: What do you get if Batman and Robin are smashed by a steam roller?
A: Flatman and Ribbon!