How Do You KNOW There Is No God?


ATHEIST: How do you knowthere aren't lots of gods? Have you disproved the existence of goddesses?

BELIEVER: Don't be silly! I'm talking about the existence of god -- the creator of the universe.

ATHEIST: Ah! Now we're getting somewhere! You're talking about me!

BELIEVER: Since when are you god?

ATHEIST: Since just a bit more than an infinite length of time. Of course, I created you just three minutes ago.

BELIEVER: That's crazy! I'm fifty-seven years old!

ATHEIST: Of course you think you are: I created those memories in you, and I altered everyone else's memories also, to make it appear that you were around before three minutes ago.

BELIEVER: I suppose you created my birth certificate too! What evidence do you have to support such an absurd idea?

ATHEIST: Ah! So you're beginning to understand that the burden of proof is on the person who makes the claim of god's existence. Don't you think you should try to disprove the claim that I am god?

BELIEVER: Well, maybe. If you're god, why don't you perform a miracle?

ATHEIST: Good question. Unfortunately, I don't do miracles anymore. I could if I wanted to, but I've decided that from now on, people have to believe in me through faith. Being god, I've just now read your mind and I see you're thinking that you might be able to torture me into confessing that I'm not god. Well, scrap that idea! I might very well decide to pretend to be in pain and confess all sorts of silly things. But believe me, I would punish you for eternity after you die!

BELIEVER: Hey, that's not a legitimate argumentation. There's nothing I could ever do to disprove your claim of divinity. You could always wriggle out of it by claiming you'll show me after I'm dead!

ATHEIST: Very true! You're learning how impossible it is to prove a negative. But you're learning one even more important lesson.

BELIEVER: What's that?

ATHEIST: You're learning that it is stupid to argue about propositions that can't be tested even in the imagination. For every test you could imagine to try, I could come up with a way to evade your net -- in just the same way as the preachers tell me your god doesn't want to get involved in my tests. My claim to divinity can't be tested. Your claims of the divinity of Jehovah or Jesus can't be tested either. If I call upon your god to strike me with lightning if I'm wrong, I guarantee nothing will happen. Your god won't get involved any more than I will. Claims that can't be tested even in the imagination are meaningless. They can't even be false. We don't need to waste our time trying to disprove them. You aren't going to waste your time trying to disprove my claim to divinity, and no sane person will waste time trying to disprove the existence of your untestable god. Of course, when you accidentally make a claim about your divinity nominee that is testable, sane people might take the time to show you how the test results turn out to be negative. But in general, no one is going to waste time trying to prove that Jehovah and I are not gods.


This text from the Secular Web's Modern Library


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