The Cannibal Fruit Bat

There once was an old bat named Maylene. She was a fruit bat. That means she is, well, was red, at least until that horrible accident, then she was REALLY red, but that doesn't come till later (yes, a tragedy!). One day while she was flying she saw a chicken crossing the road. Being the kind soul that she was, she decided to save the poor chicken's life (from what?!). She swooped down and plucked the chicken from the road. She carried it far far away, to...uhh, London (England, that is). Once in London (with the chicken), she got hungry (from the long flight), so she ate her little chicken friend. After a while, she got lonely, so she flew around looking for a friend. While soaring through the grey skies she saw a ghost. The ghost's name was Casper, but he had gone rabid, and he chased Maylene all around the city. When she finally eluded the wretched beast, she hid in a (diet) Coke can. Then a silly little brat came up and wanted to drink it. Only, by mistake, he drank Maylene. She didn't like that. It was very dark inside his stomach, so she gnawed her way out. The little brat howled in pain, but Maylene didn't care, she was getting hungry again. When she finally burrowed her way out, she looked around for some food. No luck, so she decided to eat the boy, but only his eyes. She plucked his eyes out, and ate them lustfully. By then she had become quite bored with London, so she flew home--another long flight. Then she got hungry again, but once again there was no sign of food in sight, so Maylene--the cannibal fruit bat, gnawed her left wing off and ate it. When she tried to fly around, she kept flying in circles, however and crashing (well, she only had one wing!). She decided to try her hardest and really, really try and fly. She did, and it worked...for a while at least. Then she crashed into the road, and got hit by a Mac truck (See? I told you it was a tragedy!). She died.