Gobbledegook The Flying Goiter

There was this guy named...Jack, and one day he was attacked by a flying goiter. A goiter named Gobbledegook (lets call it Gobb for short). Gobb was a bright young med student who dropped out of school to fly around and attach itself to peoples necks. It was very unsightly. Poor Jack. Jack tried several different ways to get rid of Gobb (such as pick, poking, prying and injecting it with explosive chemicals) but to no avail. Gobb really liked Jack and wanted to be liked in return so it started sending flowers to Jack. How, you ask? Well, I'm not really sure. You'd have to ask Gobb (perhaps he was a magical goiter as most goiters seem to be).

Meanwhile, Jacks life was falling apart because of Gobb. His girlfriend left him because she didn't want to be seen in public with "it", he got fired from work because of his obsession with getting rid of Gobb, and his parents disowned him. Jack broke down and cried one day. Magically, the tears acted like acid on the sensitive goiter and Gobb started to sizzle. Unable to handle the pain, Gobb flew off of Jack and across the Ocean to Mongolia where it found a new home on a rubber chicken (who just happened to be called Jock).

Jock and Gobb became the best of friends. Everybody in Mongolia loved them and thought they made a great couple. They were inseparable...until the accident, that is. One day, in the month of May, Jock got his head cut off by Madame Guillotine. Actually it was more of a public execution. I lied, nobody liked Jock. He was a rather rude rubber chicken who liked to pick on children, and trip old people. But I digress.

Gobb was cleaved in two. Now there was Gobble and Degook. Two heads are better than one, they thought. They soon forgot abut their former friend and decided to invade France. Which they did, without much of a fight. Unfortunately only one of them could be Emperor of France, so they decided to have a competition: a pie-eating contest. All of France came out to see the contest, and what a contest it was. Cherry, lemon, apple, and butterscotch pies were gobbled by Gobble and Degook until the allotted time ran out. The crowd waited eagerly as the judges counted the number of pies consumed by each part of the goiter. Degook was then named champion of the day, and new Emperor or France. Gobble, in a fit of jealously swallowed a grenade and flew as fast as it could into Degook. They both exploded and pie flew everywhere covering everything in sight. And that, my friends, is the story of Gobbledegook the flying goiter.