At one time serving up to 20 ships a day - Ardrossan enjoyed global notoriety as a noteable Clyde Port, and until the mid 1950's sported a substantial shipyard too. These days, however, the massive steel cranes are gone and the shipyard is a gravel covered impromptu car-park. But it wasn't always like that... Oh no...
THE WORLD'S ONLY RECORDED HISTORY OF THE JOURNEYS WHICH WERE
NEVER MEANT TO HAPPEN...
Ardrossan
- Brodick
55
minute crossing
on the Lord Of The Isles - the largest tonnage vessels to sail
the Clyde on a ferry basis. On board entertainment includes getting
pissed at the bar - and watching the English tourists compare
cagouls and camping equipment. Drinking highly recommended.
Ardrossan
- Irvine
Regular
charter trip to Irvine harbour in an inflatable dinghy
from kiddies section of Kays catalogue by Big Alex Moore. Opportunity
to catch lobsters and crabs on the way with a net bought from
Raymond's.
SOME OF THE SHIPS WHICH MADE IT PAST THE BREAKWATER...
SS Alastair Mackenzie
B.1887 at Ardrossan served on the Millport/Ardrossan newspaper run for a record 28 years. Sank during a storm in early 1915 after a bundle of returned People's Friends became loose in a storm- spinning the ship into the briny depths 1/4 mile off the coast from Portencross with the loss of all hands and a consignment of Which Perambulator Monthly's.
SS Mrs Thornton
B.1912 at Ardrossan. Regular ship on the popular Bahamian banana route . Ship was scrapped in 1936 after the Captain was caught supplying horse & Carriage parts to the West Indies stolen from the car park at Ardrossan Harbour.
Ardrossan
- New York City
8
weeks direct. Occurred during the month of July 1928 due to the
charts in the engine room of the SS DUNCAN THE DRAPER being mixed
up during a party. Consequently, the ship missed it's destination
of Campbeltown and sailed aimlessly across the Atlantic;
eventually arriving with it's cargo of stale turnips at The Big
Apple.
Ardrossan
- Horse Island
There's
a man living on Horse Island with a long beard who lives on seagulls
and seaweed. No-one knows his name. He plays a Saxophone.
SB. 1965 at Southampton. Sailing the Ardrossan to Belfast trip under the Burns & Laird flag until 1972. A firm favourite of Flute Bands and Orange Lodges throughout the West Of Scotland.
MV Pointer
SB. 1980 at Greenock. Sailing the Ardrossan to Belfast trip under the Burns & Laird flag until 1999. The container ship carried only a cargo of weapons and Irish Peat Moss - although the rumour existed that the Captain would accept stow-aways for the price of 4 pints which he drank before each voyage at the Eglinton Hotel.
Booze
Guide
Check
our unique wine
guide
when planning how much booze to take on your trip to Ardrossan.
You'll be able to budget exactly how much money you'll need to
spend at Mr Patel's mini-mart before making your pilgrimage to
Arran....
AND have enough White Lightning and Special Brew left over for
tomorrow morning down on Brodick shore front with TOUCAN, the
towns official jakey!
Make sure you've stocked up with plenty
of beer for the journey, as there's nothing worse than running
out of bevy half way across the Clyde.Ardrossan is perfectly matched with Brodick on the Isle Of Arran when it comes to getting blind drunk and stotious. Check out the Harbour Bar in Ardrossan as a last minute stopping-off shop before making the journey to Arran.
Take a trip across Ardrossan's most famous Hill on our special Wino's SAFARI - but don't forget to buy a carry-out!
The Old Firm:
Never together - but close sometime or another.Upon disembarking at Brodick - run across the road and get pissed in The Douglas Hotel - then while away a few hours bartering the price of a room with colourful manager, Ravi Shankar. Don't go a penny over £20 for a double room with full pakora breakfast.
The Isle Of Arran - better than a Bahamian beach-port
or Bora-Bora, Arran has been inspiring and inebriating it's many
visitors since the Neolithic age. Mystic and sullen, wondrous
and drunk, this island has a genealogy and reputation big enough
for a WINO'S GUIDE of its very own. E-mail your snaps and memories
TODAY, and seal those memories in cider-space