do ya ever think about soulmates?
october 21
it's been a topic on my mind lately. soulmates.
first, i need to say, i believe that there is more than one "perfect someone" for each of us. we have to work to make the perfect relationship... perfect. you can't just majically "fall" in and out of love.
having said that, i firmly believe that i have met my 'soulmate' and that person is not my husband. i don't feel that thinking that diminshes in any way my love for my betrothed or glorifies this other man.
kevin was a boy i met in high school/college. (i met him out east, in the town my family was living in when i graduated from high school, but while i was going to college in the midwest.) he worked at the same store my friends and i all worked at. he was younger than i and was from the next town over. i actually had a crush on his best friend, scott, at first but then scott started dating my best friend, maria. we would always do things in groups but maria, scott, kevin and i were the only constants.
i always had fun with kevin and scott and the three of us had alot in common with each other. at this point everything was strictly platonic. maria was dating scott and i hadn't really thought about kevin as other than a really fun friend. we spent the whole summer together trying to get into trouble.
august rolls around and i go to college to start my sophomore year. four months pass where i talk to maria weekly but don't hear a thing from kevin or scott. it never dawned on me to stay in touch with them.
i went back east to spend my three week christmas break with my family. maria and scott were no longer dating but the same group was always around. usually it was either maria, kevin and me or scott, kevin and me. kevin and i were, for the most part, joined at the hip. we took our breaks together at work and went out after. our parents were a little less strict than our other friends, so we could stay out later but it never occured to us to "date" or "take it to the next level". we were really good friends who enjoyed each other's company and had alot in common. period. until new year's eve.
we all got dressed up and went out to dinner and to a freind's and one thing lead to another and we kissed.
i had to go back to school on the second or third and didn't get to see him anymore that break. we wrote letters and talked on the phone once or twice. it was all very sweet and wonderful. he flew out to visit me at school that spring and we were able to pick things up right where we had left off. he stayed with me in my dorm room and the first night we stayed up almost all night talking and fell asleep in each other's arms. we went for walks in the rain and to drunken college parties. it felt like we compacted months of "relationship" into the one weekend. everything was perfect. i was in love.
even though my parents had moved back to the midwest, i made arrangements to go back east the following summer for a few weeks. we got together for a few dates but things weren't like they were before. he had made other friends at school and the group sort of fell apart. our reunion was awkward. we probably wouldn't have had a long term relationship. he had too many things to work out. i wouldn't have asked him to move out here and i couldn't have moved there. the logistics were all wrong. my friend maria saw him a few times after that summer. he pretended not to see her and after a while, he dropped off the face of the earth.
i still think about him. whenever i see references to twin peaks or say anything, i am reminded of kevin. i found some old cards an letters from him recently and they made me smile. i hope he is happy where ever he is now and he thinks of me when it rains.
otherwise
: about : :
archives : :
reply :
