DISCLAIMER AND AUTHOR'S NOTE: All Buffy The Vampire Slayer stuff belongs to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and Warner Brothers. No copyright infringement was intended in the writing of this fiction. All other characters that appear belong to me. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies may be made for private use only and must include this copyright notice and disclaimer. There is some subtext in this story. If this kind of stuff is not legal where you live, if you're under 18 or if you don't like the notion of two women being in love, then you should find something else to read.

Love and Hurt
By Kristjan Brezovnik

Faith lay on her bed. She was hurt. It was stupid of her to even think that she could trust anyone. Hell, she didn't even trust herself anymore. She had come to Sunnydale because she was hoping she would be safe from Kakistos. And she wanted to meet the famous Buffy. She had tried to impress her with stories of what she had done, but that didn't impress Buffy, it merely annoyed her. But Buffy still helped her against Kakistos. And in spite of everything that she had learned in her life, she started to like Buffy. Well, more than just like. She opened up to her and even Buffy warmed up and started to like her. But then that Post bitch came and showed her that she should have listened to her instincts and not open up to anyone. And Buffy, well, she had Angel again, so that effectively put an end to her delusions that she and Buffy could be together someday. Not to mention that it hurt that Buffy didn't tell her about Angel. Well, she didn't tell anyone, but it still hurt her a lot, thanks to her delusions. She had almost made the same mistake again when Buffy came to visit her, but fortunately, she remembered the price and she didn't open up to Buffy again.

She sighed. It was time to get the hell out of this town, before she started having false hopes again, because in spite of all the shit that had been going on, Buffy had a strange effect on her, she made her hope and open up. But every time that happened, she ended up hurt. No, better to get away from Buffy. If only she was an animal, out of sight, out of mind. Well, she wasn't. She needed to think of something convincing or Giles would object. Well, he would object anyway, but if she was convincing enough, he might let her go. And if not, she would just disappear. Maybe fake her death. She grinned at the thought, it would drive the Council crazy to find the next Slayer.

Three days later, she had decided to wait a few days, so it wouldn't look like she was running, she went to Giles. She made sure that Buffy and her friends were in class and then entered the library.

"Hey, Giles," she said.

"Hello, Faith," Giles said, looking up from the book he was reading.

Faith took a deep breath.

"Giles, I've been thinking. I'd like to go back to Boston."

"What?" Giles said, surprised.

"I said I'd like to go back to Boston."

"Why?"

"Well, Kakistos had a big organization and I'm sure he didn't bring everyone here. I'm guessing that someone probably took over after I killed him and I'd like to exterminate them. And besides, I need to do this."

"But you don't have a Watcher."

"I have you," Faith said. "And besides, this is the twentieth century, I can give a report over the phone."

Giles thought about it.

"I don't know, Faith. The Council…"

"Screw the Council. They can't even handle their own people."

"Look, Faith, I know Mrs Post…"

"She was a bitch. Case closed. Now, about Boston, I know the place, I grew up there. And besides, you have everything under control here. And if you need me, you can give me a call and I'll come back. I wanna go, Giles," she added when Giles hesitated.

Giles sighed.

"I suppose it would be good to check on Kakistos'… empire."

Faith smiled.

"Great."

"When are you planning to leave?"

"Well, there's a bus leaving in half an hour."

"A bus?"

"I don't have money for a plane ticket."

"Oh."

"I'll call you when I get there."

"Won't you wait for Buffy?"

"No, I'd miss the bus."

"Oh."

"Well, I'll see you."

"Good bye, Faith."

Faith left, relieved that it went so smoothly.

"Has anyone seen Faith lately?" Buffy asked when she came to the library in the afternoon. "I went by her motel today, but the guy said that she left."

"Ah, I forgot to tell you," Giles remembered. "She went back to Boston."

Buffy felt like someone had smacked her in the face.

"Why?"

"To clean up after Kakistos. She called yesterday that she had arrived safely."

"How long is she staying?"

"I don't know."

"Do you have her phone number?"

"I'm afraid not. The motel where she's staying doesn't have phones and the manager doesn't allow anyone to use his, except in emergency."

"Then how did she call you?"

"She said there's a payphone near by."

"Oh."

Buffy sat down, feeling strangely empty.

A couple of weeks went by and the Mayor became the Scooby Gang's number one enemy. So Giles called Faith back to Sunnydale. Faith was nervous and the closer to Sunnydale she came the more nervous she became. But when she got to the library, she forced herself to calm down. She was alone and she would always be alone. Still, she decided to ignore Buffy. She took a deep breath and entered.

"Hi, guys, I'm back," she said and flashed a shit-eating grin.

"Faith!" everyone greeted her enthusiastically.

She noticed Buffy was happy as well, but she tried not looking at her.

"Ah, Faith. My name is Wesley Wyndam-Pryce. I am your new Watcher."

Faith blinked, surprised, and gave him a once over.

"No, you're not," she said and then continued to the table.

"What?" Wesley said, surprised.

"Faith," Giles said.

Faith looked at him.

"I don't trust the Council. As far as I'm concerned, you're my Watcher. Now, who's been causing trouble?"

"That's outrageous," Wesley said.

Faith glanced at him.

"Deal with it."

"Faith," Giles started again.

"I don't want to her about it, Giles. You're my Watcher and that's that. Now, do you have a problem, or can I go back to Boston?" she asked and then looked at the Scoobs.

"Yeah, we have a problem," Xander said.

"What kind?"

"The Mayor wants to change into a demon and then feed on the population."

"Ouch."

"And that's not all, he's also invincible."

"Oh. Damn. So, any ideas on how to kick his ass?"

"No."

"Any plans?"

"No."

Faith scratched her head and looked at Giles.

"I'll go find myself a place to stay."

"You can stay at my place," Buffy offered and blushed a bit when everyone looked at her, surprised.

Faith was tempted to say yes, hell, a couple of weeks ago she would definitely have said yes, but she had learned from her mistakes.

"No thanks, B," she said, flashed a smile and quickly left.

"Faith!" Wesley called after her, but she ignored him. "Is she always like this?" he asked Giles.

"Only when she doesn't like someone," Xander said.

Wesley glared at him, but Xander didn't even flinch.

Buffy felt strangely hurt by Faith's refusal.

After a couple of days of not seeing Faith, Buffy finally asked Giles for her address. She went there, but Faith apparently wasn't in, so she left.

Only Faith was home, she just didn't answer the door, she didn't want to see Buffy.

Another couple of days went by and Buffy finally got hold of Faith just as she came home early in the morning.

"Hey," she said and smiled nervously.

"B?" Faith said, surprised. "What are you doing up so late?"

"I could ask you the same question."

"I patrol the outskirts and it takes a while to get here."

"Any activity there?"

"Some."

"And what do you do during the day?"

"What is this, twenty questions?"

"No, I'm just curious. I haven't seen you since you came back."

"So? I sleep when you're in school, I go out during the day and I go on patrol at night."

"Oh," Buffy said, not quite sure what to make of it.

"If you'll excuse me, I'm beat," Faith said and entered.

Buffy wanted to say something, but Faith already closed the door. She stared at it, confused and feeling hurt. She considered knocking, but she didn't know what to say. So she left.

Inside, Faith listened. When she heard Buffy walk away, she relaxed. She'd have to be more careful in the future, she didn't want to have any unnecessary contact with Buffy. She took a deep breath, realizing that she was tense. She hoped this business with the Mayor would be over soon so she could get the hell out of Sunnydale again.

"Finally," Faith muttered after the school blew up, killing the Mayor.

She looked around and saw that everyone was alive and well. She didn't really care about them, but hey, it was good that they were alive. She didn't see Angel anywhere, but she didn't really care what happened to him.

"Where's Angel?" she asked Buffy, just to keep up appearances.

"He's gone," Buffy said quietly.

"Gone?"

"He went to LA."

Faith frowned.

"Why?"

"Because we can't be together. I mean, we're still friends, but it would be painful for both of us. So he left."

"Oh." Faith thought for a moment. "Well, then I guess I'll go to Miami. I've always wanted to go to Daytona Beach. Maybe meet an astronaut," she said thoughtfully.

Buffy looked at her, surprised.

"You're leaving again?"

"Yes."

"Why are you going to Miami?"

"Weren't you listening? I just told you."

Buffy looked at her, surprised by the cold answer.

"You could stay here," she said.

"Why? I got nothing here. And besides, you have everything under control. And if you need me, Giles can call me, like he did for the Mayor. So, see ya," she said and left.

Buffy stared at her, feeling like she had just lost Faith. This was almost as bad as seeing Angel go. She didn't understand it, but she missed Faith. Sure, she didn't like her at first, but that was mainly because she felt left out when Faith told about her adventures as a Slayer. But when she got to know her a bit better, she grew to like her. But then Angel came back and everything got so confused and she lost contact with Faith. And that incident with the Post woman didn't help their relationship one bit. Relationship? She frowned. It was hardly a relationship, of any kind, since they barely saw each other. She almost hadn't seen Faith since the day the Post woman died. She felt like she was responsible for Faith's leaving, but she wasn't quite sure, she never talked to Faith about it. And when Faith finally got back, she barely saw her, unless Giles called her to a meeting about the Mayor. And now she was leaving. Again. She wanted to say something, but she didn't know what.

"B?" Faith said, surprised, when Buffy knocked on the door of her room in a motel in Miami a couple of weeks later.

Buffy smiled.

"Hey."

"What the hell are you doing here?"

Buffy's smile faded a bit.

"Summer vacation. I thought I'd come and see how you're doing."

"Five by five."

Buffy stared at Faith, not sure what to say.

"I live next door," she said and pointed at her door.

Faith cringed and hoped Buffy didn't notice. Great, she came here to get away from Buffy and now Buffy followed her. Shit.

"Couldn't afford better?" she asked.

"I could, but I wanted to be close to you."

"Why?"

"Well, we're Slayers. I don't know this place yet and I thought you'd show me around."

Just what she needed, Faith thought.

"How come you didn't go to LA?"

"Why?" Buffy asked, puzzled.

"Angel."

"Oh. It's still painful."

"Whatever. Look, B, I'd love to chat, but my shift starts in an hour and I still haven't eaten today."

"Shift?"

"I work as a waitress."

"Oh," Buffy said, remembering her stint as a waitress. "Mind if I join you?"

Faith clenched her fists and then quickly hid them, so Buffy wouldn't notice.

"Sure," she said. "Just let me get dressed."

"Okay."

Buffy expected Faith to invite her in, but Faith closed the door and she felt hurt again for some reason.

Inside, Faith wanted to scream and hit something, but she decided to hold her breath and count to twenty instead. It didn't quite work, but she managed to regain some of her control. She took a couple of deep breaths and then quickly changed.

"I'm ready," she said when she got out, and started walking.

Buffy was puzzled, but she quickly followed her. She wanted to talk to her, but she wasn't quite sure what to say, everything was so confusing, even more than it was with Angel.

"So, meet any astronauts?" Buffy asked after they ordered.

"Huh?" Faith said, puzzled.

"Astronauts. You said you've always wanted to meet one."

"Oh," Faith remembered. "No," she said and concentrated on the menu, so she wouldn't have to look at Buffy.

"See much action?"

"A little."

"Any hot spots?"

"A couple."

Buffy stared at Faith, puzzled by her monosyllabic answers.

"Is something wrong?"

Faith glanced at her.

"No. I'm five by five."

Buffy was confused.

"Wanna know what's going on back in Sunnydale?"

Faith shrugged, not looking at Buffy.

"Giles tells me," she lied.

"Oh."

Buffy thought for a moment, but she wasn't quite sure what to ask, so she said nothing. She quietly observed Faith, who was busy studying the menu. Faith's behavior was a mystery to her. She felt that Faith was acting strange, but since it was all so casual and she could see no reason behind Faith's strange behavior, she didn't know what to ask her to get some answers.

When the food came, they quietly ate, Faith still ignoring Buffy. Buffy quietly observed her, feeling hurt by Faith's ignorance.

"Well, I'll see you around, B," Faith said after they paid.

"Mind if I walk you?" Buffy asked. "I want to see where you work."

Faith bit her teeth for a moment and hoped Buffy didn't notice.

"Okay," she said and started walking.

Buffy quickly followed her.

"Aren't you happy to see me?" she asked as they exited.

"Sure, B," Faith said not very enthusiastically.

"You don't sound very enthusiastic."

Faith glanced at her.

"What do I have to do? The victory dance?"

Buffy smiled at that.

"No. It's just that you act like you don't want me here."

"It's a free world, B. You wanna be here, I'm not gonna stop you."

Buffy was surprised by the uncaring answer. She wasn't quite sure what to say, but before she could think of something, they got to Faith's destination.

"You work here?" Buffy asked when Faith entered.

"Yes." She glanced at Buffy. "Friends of the staff aren't welcome," she said.

Buffy looked at her, gulping.

"Okay. I'll see you in the evening then," she said.

"Sure," Faith said and went to the bar without looking at Buffy.

Buffy stared at her for a few more moments and then left, feeling confused and hurt.

When Faith saw that Buffy was gone, she took a deep breath to calm down.

"Fuck," she said.

When her shift approached the end, Faith saw Buffy come in. She swore under her breath and waved at her when Buffy smiled at her. She was relieved Buffy didn't sit in her sector, at least she didn't have to talk to her. Though she would no doubt have to when they went on patrol.

When her shift ended, Faith considered slipping out the back door, but she knew Buffy would want to know why and she didn't feel like explaining. So she took a deep breath and decided to face Buffy.

"Hey," Buffy said, smiling, when Faith came to her table.

"Hey," Faith said, not smiling.

"Ready to go slaying?"

"Yes."

Buffy raised her eyebrow, but she didn't comment. She got up and followed Faith out.

As they walked around, Buffy felt strange. On one hand, she was with Faith, but on the other, Faith was ignoring her.

"Why do I have the feeling you're ignoring me?" she asked after a while.

Faith glanced at her.

"I am?"

"Yes. I mean, back in Sunnydale, you kept talking and talking and now you don't."

"Your point?"

Buffy gulped, surprised by Faith's coldness.

"Just wondering why."

"And what do you want to talk about?" Faith asked.

Buffy opened her mouth and then closed it again.

"I…" she started, but then stopped to think. "I don't know. You," she said and blushed a bit. "I mean, I don't know much about you."

"There's not much to tell," Faith said.

"But when you came to Sunnydale, you told those stories."

"Then you know all there is to know."

"Do… Do you want me to tell you about me?" Buffy offered.

"I already know all I need," Faith said.

Buffy stared at Faith. She wanted to ask her why she was so… cold, but she didn't know how to put it.

"Here's a hotspot," Faith said.

Buffy stopped thinking about Faith's coldness and she looked around.

"There's a vamp near by," she said, her senses picking up the bad vibes.

"Yeah," Faith said and followed her senses.

Buffy followed Faith.

They soon heard a scream and they started to running.

"There," Buffy said, but Faith was already ahead of her.

Faith ran as fast as she could.

"Hey!" she called, distracting the vamp.

The vamp growled and pushed his prey away, ready to face a more immediate threat. Faith didn't even pause when she got to him, she just started hitting him and then staked him.

"That was fast," Buffy said as she stopped.

Faith glanced at her and then looked at the girl.

"You okay?"

The girl was still scared, but she nodded.

"Thank you," she said and slowly got up.

Faith felt a bit uncomfortable about being thanked, but she said nothing. She watched as the girl reached the main street, rubbing her neck, and then slowly started walking toward the main street herself. Buffy quickly followed her.

The rest of the patrol was mostly boring, except for two more vamps.

"See you tomorrow," Faith said when they returned to their motel, and entered her room without looking at Buffy.

Buffy stared at Faith's door, feeling sad. Then she entered her own room and dropped on the bed. She felt like crying. She knew Faith was keeping her distance, but she didn't know why. And she couldn't exactly pinpoint how, so she could show it to Faith, who had an answer ready for just about everything she asked her, only those answers didn't answer much. It was depressing.

In her room, Faith was trembling. She wanted Buffy, but she knew she'd only get hurt. And it pissed her that Buffy wanted to hang out with her. She quickly undressed and then took a cold shower to cool off and forget about Buffy.

The following day was much the same, but when they went on patrol, Faith suggested they split so they would cover more territory. Buffy wanted to object, but Faith told her to patrol the route they took yesterday and she would take another route. Buffy knew Faith had a point, but she had a feeling that Faith was only suggesting that so they wouldn't be together. But, again, she couldn't prove it.

The day after, Buffy followed Faith into the restaurant.

"Friends of the staff aren't welcome, remember?" Faith said.

"Yes," Buffy said and smiled.

Faith glanced at her, but she didn't comment. Buffy followed her.

"Staff only," Faith said and pointed at the sign on the door.

"Yes," Buffy said and smiled. "I got a job here," she explained when Faith looked at her expectantly.

"What?!" Faith freaked out. "Why the fuck did you do that for? Can't you just stay the hell away from me?"

She gulped as she realized she had said too much. She looked around and saw that several people were glancing at her. She turned and entered the room.

Buffy was shocked. Okay, now she knew that Faith didn't want her around. But why? She slowly entered.

"Faith?" she said when she saw Faith changing. "Faith, talk to me," she said when Faith ignored her. "Faith!" she called after her, when Faith stormed past her.

Buffy was depressed and she felt like crying.

In the restaurant, Faith did her best to not show how upset she was. And boy was she upset. She had gone to the opposite coast just so she could be as far away from Buffy as possible and now Buffy came after her. And not only that, she also got a room next to hers and a job in the same restaurant. Like her life wasn't complicated enough. It was definitely time to get the hell out of there.

Faith left before their shift ended. She quickly packed her stuff and left the motel. She considered simply disappearing, but she decided to let Giles know where she was, just in case, she didn't want the Council to think she went rogue.

When Buffy got to the motel, she knocked on Faith's door, but there was no answer.

"Faith! We need to talk!" She knocked again with the same results. "Faith!"

When there was no answer again, she went to her room. This hurt as much as it did when she sent Angel to hell. She was surprised when she felt tears run down her cheeks. She wiped them and looked at the wetness on her fingertips. She wondered how come she cared about Faith so much since they had barely had any contact. Even when Faith first came to Sunnydale they didn't hang out much, except when they went slaying together. She wondered what happened that Faith suddenly didn't want to have anything to do with her. Was it something she did? And how come she wanted Faith so bad?

She took a deep breath to calm herself and then decided to go on patrol and try talking to Faith in the morning.

When Faith got to the bus station, she checked the destinations and decided to go to New York. Unfortunately, the bus left in the morning, which meant she'd have to sleep on some bench. She sighed and decided to call Giles.

"Hello? Giles speaking."

"It's me."

"Faith?"

"Yes. Listen, I'm going to New York."

"New York? Why?"

"Not so many vamps here. B can take care of them."

"I see."

"And please don't tell her where I went."

"Why?" Giles asked, confused.

"Because I don't want her to follow me."

"But…"

"Don't or I'll break contact with you too."

"Is everything okay, Faith?" Giles asked, worried.

"Five by five."

"Then why…"

"No more twenty questions, Giles. Just don't tell her, okay?"

There was a brief silence on the other end.

"Very well."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

"Good. I'll call you when I get there. Bye."

She quickly hung up before Giles could ask any more questions.

The next day, Buffy tried to talk to Faith again, but she got no response. She got really worried when she came to work and found out that Faith had quit. And after she got back to the motel, Faith still didn't answer. She considered what to do and decided to do a patrol by herself.

When she woke up late next morning, she went to Faith's room again and knocked. She got excited when she heard movement inside. Then the door opened and she frowned.

"Yes?"

"Em, I'm looking for Faith," Buffy said, eyeing the stranger, confused.

"There's no Faith here," the woman said.

"There isn't?" Buffy said, confused. "But…" She thought for a moment. "Thank you," she said and went to see the manager.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming!" the manager yelled when Buffy rang the bell several times. "What do you want?"

"The girl from room 3."

"Faith? What about her?"

"Where is she?"

The manager shrugged.

"Don't know. She came two nights ago and said she was leaving."

Buffy's spirits fell.

"Oh," she said and left.

She went back to her room and thought about what to do. Faith was gone and she had no idea where she went. He mood improved a bit when she remembered Giles. She left her room and quickly found a payphone.

"Hello? Giles…"

"Giles, it's me," Buffy interrupted him.

"Buffy?"

"Yeah. Listen, Faith left and I have no idea where she went."

There was a brief silence on the other side as Giles considered what to say.

"I know."

"What?!" Buffy said, surprised. "Where did she go?"

There was another pause.

"I'm afraid I can't tell you."

"What? Why not?"

Another pause.

"She made me promise that I won't. Otherwise she threatened to break contact with me as well."

Buffy was speechless.

"Oh." She thought for a moment. "Did she say why?"

"No. I was hoping you could tell me that."

Buffy sighed.

"I don't know. She seemed so cold, like she didn't want me around. And when I got a job in the same restaurant as she, she just freaked out. She left before the shift ended and I haven't seen her since."

"I see."

Buffy sighed.

"I'm coming home," she then said, defeated. "Bye."

"Good bye, Buffy."

She hang up and slowly returned to the motel.

"Buffy! You're back!" Willow greeted her when she came to Giles and saw her friend there.

Buffy smiled at her.

"Hey, Will."

"What's wrong?" Willow asked, noticing the sadness in Buffy's voice.

Buffy sighed.

"Faith left."

"Left?"

"Yes. I don't know where she is and Giles promised not to tell."

Willow frowned, thinking.

"Oh." She looked at Buffy. "And why are you so depressed?"

Buffy sighed. She considered whether she should tell Willow or not. She decided to tell.

"I know this is going to sound strange, but I think I'm in love with her."

Willow blinked, surprised, and then blushed.

"Oh. Really? Like, you know, lovers, in love?"

Buffy smiled.

"Yes. And the funny thing is, I didn't even notice it until Faith was gone. And now I'm afraid I'll never see her again." She sighed. "She left because she didn't want me near, and I keep wondering if it was something I did."

"You want to see her again?"

Buffy smiled.

"Are you kidding? I'm just about ready to spend the rest of my life with her and I hardly know her. I mean, she's changed. Remember how she was when she came here? All wise ass?"

"Yes."

"When I came to Miami, she was cold. I mean, she didn't tell me outright that she didn't want me around, but she definitely acted like it. And when I got a job in the same restaurant as she, she freaked out and left."

"Oh."

Buffy sighed again.

"You know, it was bad when I had to kill Angel, but this is just as bad. I'm worried about her."

"I can try and find out from where she's calling," Willow suggested.

"You can do that?" Buffy said, excited.

"I can try."

"Please do."

Willow smiled.

"Okay. What, now?" she asked when Buffy got up.

"The sooner I find her the better."

"Okay," Willow said and got up as well.

"Giles, I'm going with Willow!" Buffy yelled. "Let's go," she said when she heard a muffled reply from the upper floor.

After Willow found out where Faith was calling from, Buffy immediately started packing. Her mother wasn't exactly pleased, but she was also worried about Faith, so she didn't give Buffy a hard time.

When Buffy got to New York, she hired a cab. She ignored the driver's constant chatting and thought about what to do and say when she met Faith again. The driver stopped in front of a hotel that might as well have been a cockroach hotel, so bad did it look. She paid him and went to the reception desk. The manager gave her directions and even told her that Faith was in. She was relieved, at least she wouldn't have too look around for her.

She went upstairs and then stopped in front of Faith's room. She hesitated for a few moments, then took a deep breath and finally knocked.

The door opened and she was relieved that it was Faith. But Faith's eyes went wide, Buffy thought she saw fear in them, and Faith tried to close the door. Buffy quickly put her foot in and bit her teeth when it got caught between the door and the frame.

The door opened again and Faith attacked her.

"Why the hell can't you stay away from me!" she screamed furiously as she tried to score a direct hit.

Buffy was surprised by the fierceness of Faith's assault and her anger. She was completely lost.

"Why?" she asked as she dodged Faith's hits and kicks.

"Cause I don't want you around."

"Why?"

"Just shut up!"

Buffy decided to end the fight and she went on the offensive. Since Faith was way too distracted by her emotions, Buffy could easily handle her.

"Faith, talk to me. Is it something I did?"

Faith laughed, and Buffy stopped her attack for a moment.

"God, B, you're so clueless." Her face got serious again. "Now get the hell out of here."

"Faith…"

"Get out!" Faith screamed and attacked again. "Get out!"

Buffy noticed that Faith was almost crying and she knew she was close to breaking.

"Faith, please, tell me," she said.

"I love you, okay!" Faith screamed and Buffy stopped, astonished.

"What?"

Faith continued her attack.

"Every time you're around I start hoping for the impossible and I start caring, but I don't want to!"

Buffy barely managed to defend herself, but fortunately, Faith didn't look like she could fight much longer.

"I don't want to," Faith said, sobbing, as Buffy caught her from behind and pressed her arms to her body.

Faith stopped fighting and she didn't even resist. Her legs failed to support her and they both went down. Buffy kept holding her in a tight embrace, tears running down her own cheeks.

"Faith?" Buffy spoke after Faith calmed down a bit. "Faith, talk to me, please. You're scaring me. What's…" She thought for a moment. "You love me?" she asked and Faith cringed. "Why didn't you say something?"

Faith snorted.

"I tried. Remember the innuendoes? You never figured it out. And then Angel came back and I knew I didn't stand a chance."

"Is that why you left?"

Faith nodded.

"I didn't want to keep hoping," she said quietly and wiped her eyes. "Let me go."

"You promise you won't run or try to fight?"

Faith hesitated for a moment and then nodded.

"I promise," she said and Buffy let her go.

Faith backed off and leaned on the bed post, hugging her knees. She avoided looking at Buffy, feeling embarrassed.

Buffy hesitated for a moment.

"Faith, I love you."

"I don't need your pity," Faith said angrily and looked at her.

"I don't pity you, Faith," Buffy said.

"I don't wanna be a rebound either," Faith shot.

Buffy gulped.

"You're not. Look, I know it's probably hard to believe, but I do love you. Why do you think I came after you? I wanted to be with you. I didn't know how you felt about me, but I was hoping we could at least be friends."

"What about Angel?"

Buffy sighed.

"I still love him, but we're not together anymore. I mean, I don't love him like I love you. When he came back, I started feeling guilty all over again and I wanted to help him. And then you left and I realized I missed you. I mean, I was kinda expecting you'd stick around for ever." She sighed. "All the time I've been helping Angel, I kept thinking about you, what you were doing, if you were alright. And when I came to Miami, I couldn't make sense of your behavior. I mean, you changed, you were so cold, but I couldn't pinpoint it, you know? And when you disappeared, I knew there was something wrong. Giles said you didn't want me to know where you were, but I had Willow do her computer magic and she found out where you were calling from." She paused for a moment. "I know we haven't spent much time together, but I fell… drawn to you." She slowly approached Faith. "I want to be with you, Faith."

Faith seemed to shrink.

"No," she whispered, shaking her head.

"Why not?" Buffy asked, confused.

"Don't wanna get hurt."

Buffy then understood why Faith had been running away from her and why she had been so cold. It was because she didn't want to get hurt.

"Faith. Faith, look at me."

Faith slowly looked at her.

"Look, I know I can't promise you that your life will be a bed of roses if you are with me. I had a great time with Angel and yes, it hurt like hell when I had to kill him. And it hurt again when he came back. But the point is, I still have the memories of the time we spent together and I don't regret it." She paused for a moment. "I know it'll hurt if you die before me, but I still want to be with you." She thought. "I'd rather be with you and mourn your loss if you die than not be with you at all."

Faith gulped and looked away. She was scared and she couldn't understand how Buffy could love her.

"Why me?" she asked.

Buffy smiled, glad that she was making some progress.

"I don't know, Faith, I can't explain it. Like I said, I feel drawn to you."

"But…"

"I could ask you the same question."

Faith looked at her.

"You…" she started vehemently, but she changed her mind and looked away again.

"Tell me. Please."

Faith glanced at her. Then she gulped and looked away again.

"You… You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen and I felt attracted to you even before I met you," she said quietly.

Buffy smiled, blushing a bit.

"So, do you want to be with me?"

Faith bit her lips and didn't respond.

"Faith, you have to take a chance. If you don't, you'll always be alone and you won't know what you're missing."

"You can't miss something you never had," Faith said quietly.

"Then it's about time you got it, don't you think?"

Faith glanced at her, gulping.

"I… I'm scared."

Buffy smiled.

"I know," she said. She sat beside Faith and put her arm around her shoulder, causing Faith to jerk, feeling strange. "But I promise you that I will do my best to make you happy."

Faith looked at her and their faces were only centimeters apart. Buffy suddenly felt a bit shy, she had never kissed a girl before, but she decided to give it a try, hoping it would calm Faith, not scare her away. She slowly moved her face closer and Faith's eyes went wide when she realized what Buffy had in mind. She considered backing off, but her body refused to move. Buffy's face got close and closer and their lips finally touched. Buffy paused then for a moment, giving Faith a chance to back off, but Faith didn't, so Buffy pressed her lips to Faith's.

Faith felt a bit awkward at first, but then she took the initiative.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," she said, scared, when her mind told her that she might have been too fast.

Buffy smiled.

"It's okay, Faith, I liked it."

Faith looked at her, surprised.

"You did?"

"Yes."

"Oh."

They stared at one another for a few moments.

"So, you ready to go home?" Buffy then asked.

"Home?"

"Yes. I want you to move in with me, I don't want you to stay in some sleazy motel all by yourself. And you'll have your own room, so you can have some privacy."

Faith gulped, surprised.

"What about your mom?"

"I don't think she'll mind. She was worried about you as well."

Faith thought about that fact.

"And when she finds out that you and I are…"

"Lovers?" Buffy asked when Faith trailed off.

Faith nodded.

"Yes."

Buffy thought for a moment.

"I don't think she'll cause problems. And if I have to choose between you and her, I'll choose you."

"You will?" Faith said, surprised.

Buffy smiled.

"Yes. So, shall we go?"

Faith stared at her for a moment and then nodded. Buffy got up and then offered Faith her hand. Faith accepted it. She quickly packed and then they left, hand in hand.

The End