DISCLAIMER AND AUTHOR'S NOTE: All Buffy The Vampire Slayer stuff belongs to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and Warner Brothers. No copyright infringement was intended in the writing of this fiction. All other characters that appear belong to me. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies may be made for private use only and must include this copyright notice and disclaimer. There is some subtext in this story. If this kind of stuff is not legal where you live, if you're under 18 or if you don't like the notion of two women being in love, then you should find something else to read. This story is set during the Buffy The Vampire Slayer episode This Year's Girl. It was inspired by Talion's story Saying Good Bye, which can be found at BuffyNFaith Mailing List. It is a companion piece to Motherhood No More.

Motherhood
By Kristjan Brezovnik

When Faith finally woke up, she was disoriented and it took her a while to realize that she was in a hospital. Then she felt something kick her stomach and she looked down. What she saw simply shocked her. Where her belly should be there was a big lump and Faith had a bad feeling about what it was. She removed the blanket and stared at her swollen belly for a few moments before slowly touching it, hoping it was not real. It was. Which meant that she was pregnant. And not only that, it meant that she had been in coma for a long time, several months probably. Or it was a demon baby. If it was, she would kill it, if it wasn't… She had no idea what she would do. But one thing was sure, she needed to get out of the hospital. The baby kicked again and Faith realized that she was probably due soon. She got up, tore out IV tubes and left. She ran across a woman in the hall, but she ignored her as the baby kicked her again.

After sneaking out of the hospital, she decided to go back to her place, the place the Mayor had bought for her. She wondered what happened to him. He was obviously dead since nothing seemed to have changed. She sighed. She knew he was evil, but he made her feel like she belonged, like she had a family. She shook her head, disgusted.

When she got to her place, she saw that it was a mess, not only from the fight but also from plunderers. Fortunately, her clothes were still there, though some of them were torn. Unfortunately, most of them were pants and she couldn't put them on in her condition. Which left her with the dress the Mayor had bought her. She grimaced at the thought of putting it on, but she didn't have much choice. After she was dressed, her stomach reminded her that she was hungry. Or was the baby hungry? Or both of them? She wasn't sure, but she needed to eat.

After mugging a wealthy looking man, she treated herself to a hefty meal. Then she took a walk around Sunnydale. It was the same old Sunnydale, except the Sunnydale High, which had been blown to bits. Probably with the Mayor inside. She didn't really care anymore. She avoided a couple of police patrols and went to Giles' place. The gang was there, minus Angel, plus a stranger who seemed very close to Buffy. Faith was furious. Buffy had nearly killed her because she had poisoned Angel and now she was dating another man? The phone rang and Faith realized that Buffy was about to find out that she had escaped. She left.

The next night she ran across a demon, who told her he had a gift from a friend. She killed him and then took the tape and the box. After viewing the tape, she didn't know if she should feel depressed because the Mayor had no faith in her or happy that he provided her with a means for getting back at Buffy. She returned to her apartment and thought about it. She thought about surprising Buffy, changing bodies with her and let her deliver the baby. But she decided against it, it was her baby and the least she could do for it is deliver it herself. She could change bodies later. Still, there was one problem, she didn't know squat about delivering babies. She decided to break into UC Sunnydale library and get some books on the topic.

A week later, she knew it was time. She prepared everything and then lay on the bed and waited. It took hours before the baby started to push through and it took Faith another couple of hours before she could get the baby, a girl, out of her womb. She shuddered when she saw the blood covered baby and the blood on her own hands, it made her want to vomit. But she managed to calm her stomach.

She stared at the crying baby for a while, relieved that it was human, and finally forced herself to pick her up. She wasn't sure what to do, but her body did and she caressed the girl and cleaned her. Then she cut the cord and wrapped the girl in a blanket. She hugged her and lay still for a while, recovering. She observed the girl lovingly and for the first time in her life she felt that she wasn't a complete loser. Sure, she hadn't planned on having children, especially not when she was so young, but she didn't regret it. She had created life. The thought made her feel proud. Then she realized she needed to name her. She didn't have to think long, a name came quickly to her mind. Hope. Because that's what the girl gave her, hope. For the first time in her life she had a family, someone she knew she would die to protect.

She wanted to be the best mother there ever was, but then the reality came back. She was a wanted criminal. She was broke. She was a Slayer. And she was a complete loser. She wanted to keep the girl, badly, love her, take care of her, watch her grow up, fall in love, get married, but she knew now that was not possible. She hugged the baby and cried for the first time in a very long time.

It took her a few days to decide what to do. She needed to get a home for her daughter, someone who could take care of her and who would love her and raise her properly. And only one person came to mind. Unfortunately, she wasn't sure that person would take Hope. She sighed. She looked at Hope and caressed her.

"I love you, Hope," she said and smiled at how easily the words came out.

Hope cried again.

"Hungry again?" Faith asked, smiling, and offered Hope her breast, but the girl kept crying. "What's wrong?" Faith asked and caressed her again.

She frowned when she felt how warm Hope was. She touched her forehead and gulped when she felt that Hope had a fever. She panicked for a moment and then made a decision. It didn't matter what happened to her, but she needed to save Hope.

"My baby has a fever," Faith told the nurse at the reception.

The nurse touched Hope's forehead.

"One moment," she said and called a doctor.

"Shh, it's okay," Faith tried to calm Hope. "A doctor will help you soon."

"Yes?" the Doctor said.

"My baby has a fever," Faith said.

The Doctor took the baby and touched her forehead.

"How old is she?"

Faith thought for a moment.

"Six days."

"What have you been feeding her?"

"Breast milk."

"Do you know who delivered her?"

"I did."

The Doctor looked at Faith, puzzled.

"I meant which doctor delivered her."

"None. I delivered her by myself."

The Doctor raised an eyebrow.

"By yourself?"

Faith sighed.

"Yes. I'm that coma patient who escaped."

"I see," the Doctor said, surprised. "Don't worry, I'll take care of her. I think I know what's wrong with her."

"Thank you," Faith said and ran her fingers through her hair. She looked back at the nurse. "Can I use your phone?"

The nurse gave her the phone and Faith called the police. When she was done, she hesitated for a moment and then called Joyce.

The police arrived first and Faith quietly extended her hands and let them cuff her.

"Can we please wait until the Doctor takes care of my daughter?"

The detectives hesitated for a moment.

"Alright. But don't try to run away."

"I won't."

She sat down and waited for Joyce to show up.

"Faith."

Faith jerked and looked up.

"Mrs Summers," she said and got up.

"You wanted to talk to me."

Faith took a deep breath and then looked at the detectives.

"Can you give us some privacy please?"

The detectives glanced at one another.

"Don't try anything foolish."

Faith nodded and then one of the detectives went to the door and the other to the window.

Faith sat and Joyce joined her. Faith took a deep breath and then gulped.

"I… I know I have no right to ask you this, but I'm not asking for myself." She hesitated for a moment, trying to meet Joyce's gaze. "Could… Could you take care of my… my daughter?"

Joyce stared at her, astonished.

"Your what?"

"My daughter," Faith repeated and looked down.

"You… You have a daughter?"

Faith nodded.

"Yes. She has a fever and the Doctor is taking care of her."

"How… I mean, when… I mean…"

Faith shrugged.

"I don't know. I woke up from coma and found out I was pregnant. I don't know who the father is."

"But Buffy didn't know you were pregnant."

Faith shrugged.

"I guess they forgot to mention it."

Joyce stared at Faith for a few moments.

"Why me?"

Faith sighed.

"Because you're the best mother I know," she said, avoiding Joyce's surprised stare. "I mean, not many mothers would be so cool with their daughter being a Slayer. And I know you wanted to help me." She sighed again. "It's too late for me, but you can help my daughter. She's the best thing that's ever happened to me, but I can't take care of her. I don't want her to grow up with me constantly on the run and I don't want her to be alone if I get killed by some lucky vamp. Hell, I can't even take care of myself, how am I supposed to take care of her? I don't know the first thing about raising babies and I don't have the money to do it. And I don't want her to grow up in some orphanage or some foster home." She paused for a moment, wiping her tears. "There were only two people before her that I really cared about." She gulped. "One of them died and I hurt the other so much she hates me now. I don't want to hurt my daughter."

She sobbed for a moment, but then managed to calm down.

"Your first Watcher?" Joyce asked.

"What?" Faith said, startled.

"The one who got killed."

"Oh. Yes."

"And the other?"

Faith gulped and looked down.

"Buffy," she said and Joyce raised her eyebrows, surprised. "She was the only one that ever wanted to be my friend, and not just because I was another Slayer. She was there for me when I had no right or reason to expect her to. And I kept hurting her." She sobbed for a moment and then shook her head. "I want Hope to have a happy life, that's why I want you to have her. I turned myself in and God knows how long I'll be in jail, but I want to change, so that if you tell her about me someday, she'll be proud of me." She gulped. "I'll even give up my parental rights, if you want, so you can adopt her."

Joyce stared at Faith, astonished. Buffy had told her that Faith was a good actress, but she knew that this time she was sincere and that it was hard for her to give up her baby. But she wasn't sure if she could raise another child. Sure, she had space and money, but she was always so busy. Then again, she could do most of the work at home, if she really needed to. And Buffy could baby-sit. She frowned, Buffy. She wasn't sure how Buffy would react to her bringing home Faith's baby. She sighed. Buffy would be angry, but she was sure she could convince her to accept the baby.

"Okay," she said.

Faith looked at her.

"You'll take her?" she asked hopefully.

Joyce nodded.

"Yes."

Faith wanted to hug her, but she remembered that she had her hands cuffed.

"Thank you," she said, relieved, and wiped her tears.

Joyce hesitated for a moment and then took Faith's hand and gently squeezed it. Faith looked at her, surprised, and then smiled for a moment.

"Excuse me."

Faith and Joyce looked.

"How's my baby?" Faith asked and got up.

"She'll be fine," the Doctor calmed her.

"Thank God."

"Em, you said you delivered the baby yourself?"

Faith nodded.

"Yes."

"You delivered her yourself?" Joyce asked, surprised.

Faith nodded.

"Yeah."

"Then we better fill in the papers," the Doctor said.

"Papers?" Faith asked.

"Birth record, medical record, and so on."

"Oh." She glanced at the detectives, who were approaching. "Tell them."

The Doctor looked at the two detectives.

"Detective Halliday, Sunnydale PD," one of the detectives said. "This is my partner, detective Yule."

The Doctor nodded.

"Gentlemen. We need to fill in some papers and she needs to be examined by a gynecologist. It will take some time."

The detectives glanced at one another.

"How long?"

"About an hour."

"Can I see my baby?" Faith asked.

"She's being examined."

"Examined?" Faith asked, worried. "I thought you said she was alright."

"She is," the Doctor calmed her, "we're just taking her weight, height and so on."

"It's alright, Faith, they do that with every newborn baby," Joyce calmed her.

"Oh. Em, Doctor."

"Yes?"

"Mrs Summers here will take care of my baby after the cops take me away," Faith said and showed the Doctor the cuffs.

"Fine with me."

When Buffy got home, she stopped when she heard a baby cry.

"Mom?"

"In the kitchen, honey!"

Buffy went to the kitchen and she nearly dropped her jaw when she saw the baby.

"Okay, what am I missing?" she asked when she recovered from surprise.

Joyce smiled.

"This is Hope. She's Faith's daughter."

Buffy blinked.

"What?"

Joyce smiled.

"This is Faith's daughter Hope."

Buffy stared at the baby for a few moments.

"Faith had a baby?" she then asked, confused that it bothered her.

"Yes. She was pregnant when she woke up from coma."

"So that's why we didn't see her around."

Joyce nodded.

"Yes. She delivered the baby six days ago, but she had a fever, so she took her to the hospital. She turned herself in and she asked me if I could take care of her."

Buffy stared at her mother, surprised.

"And you said yes?"

"Yes."

"Great!" Buff said, angry. "Now we have to take care of her baby."

"Buffy," Joyce admonished her. "This isn't about Faith, this is about her baby. I couldn't do anything for Faith, but I can help her daughter. And I will. And in case you're wondering if this is some sort of Faith's trick, it's not. The baby really is hers and it was hard for her to give her up."

Buffy snorted.

"Yeah, right."

"Buffy. She wants to change. Believe me, it's not easy to give up your child."

"For Faith it obviously is."

"It isn't. But she knows that would be the best for her daughter. She loves her and she wants her to grow up in a good family."

"So she flattered you a bit and you took the bait."

Joyce slapped her and they stared at one another, surprised.

"I'm sorry, Buffy," Joyce then said. "I know you hate Faith and you don't think her capable of loving, but she loves her daughter. She knows she had made mistakes and she wants to change that. But the baby is not Faith, it's another person." She sighed. "Look, I know you wanted to help Faith, she knows that too. She wasn't ready before, but now she is. And the best way to help her is to take care of her daughter. If she knows that Hope is being taken care of, it will be much easier for her to change."

Buffy stared at her mother for a few moments and then left.

"Buffy!" Joyce called after her, but Buffy ignored her.

Joyce sighed and returned to changing the diapers.

In her room, Buffy lay on the bed and thought. Faith had a baby. She wondered who the father was. She wasn't quite sure if she was more angry at Faith for somehow tricking her mother to take care of the baby or at the fact that Faith had a baby. She frowned. She really didn't know why the hell she should be angry if Faith had a baby, that was Faith's problem.

Her fuming was interrupted when Joyce came upstairs and knocked on her door.

"Come."

Joyce entered with the baby.

"Buffy, I need you to watch the baby while I go shopping."

"Shopping?"

"Yes. The baby needs a crib, clothes, diapers, food, toys." She frowned. "Okay, toys can wait, but she needs the rest."

"Mom…" Buffy halfheartedly protested.

"Buffy, please. If you're angry with Faith, be angry with her, not with Hope."

Buffy sighed, staring at the baby.

"She named her Hope?"

Joyce smiled and glanced at the baby.

"Yes. She said that's what the baby gave her, hope. Here, take her."

"Mom…" Buffy said, not really sure she could hold the baby right, and got up.

"It's alright, honey, it's not difficult. Just hold her."

Buffy took the baby. She felt a bit awkward at first, but she quickly got used to it.

"Does she know who's the father?" she asked.

"No."

Somehow that made Buffy feel better.

"Where is she now?"

"At the police. Remind me to make a couple of photos of the baby later."

"Okay."

"I'll try to be back as soon as I can."

Joyce left and Buffy looked at the baby. Hope. She didn't look like Faith, yet, but she might someday. And she was so innocent. Well, of course, she was just a baby. Buffy sighed. She didn't mind the baby. And her mom was right, she could help Hope, it was the least she could do for Faith. She sighed again. Faith. She hoped that Faith would come around.

The next day Joyce took Hope and visited Faith in jail.

"Hope!" Faith said excited when she saw her daughter.

She wanted to take Hope in her arms, but she couldn't due to the cuffs. So she caressed her instead and gave her a kiss on the forehead. Then she looked at Joyce.

"Thank you for taking her," she said, tears welling up in her eyes.

Joyce smiled.

"You're welcome."

Faith took a deep breath to calm down.

"How did Buffy react?"

"She was upset at first, but she came to terms with it. I think she likes Hope."

"I do."

Faith and Joyce turned, surprised.

"Buffy," Joyce said. "I didn't expect you to come here."

"I didn't plan to." She shrugged. "I changed my mind."

"I see. Oh, Buffy, I have the photos in my purse. Could you take them out please."

Buffy rummaged through her mother's purse, took out the photos and gave them to Faith. Faith took them and quickly looked through them. She was surprised that Buffy was holding the baby, but she didn't mind. In fact, she was glad, because that way she also had pictures of Buffy. She looked back at Buffy and took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry, Buffy."

Buffy stared at her for a few moments and then nodded.

"I think we both screwed up."

"You… You think we could start over?" Faith asked.

Buffy thought for a moment and then nodded again.

"Yes." She offered Faith her hand. "Friends?"

Faith stared at the hand for a few moments, surprised, and then accepted it.

"Friends."

Buffy smiled.

"Good."

They stood like that, holding hands, but finally Faith broke the grip and looked away, trying to hide her blush. She looked at her daughter and caressed her.

"I love you, Hope," she whispered.

Buffy was surprised just how much emotion was in Faith's voice. She knew Faith was never very open with her feelings, but she obviously didn't care what people thought about her anymore. Apparently all that mattered now was her daughter. It was hard to imagine Faith as a mother, but seeing her how she lovingly caressed her daughter, well, that gave Buffy hope that Faith would come around. She smiled.

"Okay, time's up," a cop said.

Faith glanced at him and then looked back at Hope and gently kissed her on her forehead.

"Goodbye, Hope," she said and a tear slipped down her cheek. She looked at Joyce and Buffy. "Thank you."

The cop then led her away and Joyce and Buffy stared after her.

"I never thought Faith was capable of caring," Buffy said.

"Then why did you keep helping her?" Joyce asked.

"What do you mean?" Buffy asked, puzzled, and looked at her mother.

"Well, Faith said you were there for her, even when she kept hurting you."

"She said that?" Buffy said, surprised.

Joyce nodded.

"Yes," she said and slowly started walking out. She hesitated for a moment, not sure whether she should tell Buffy or not. "She said that before Hope there were only two people that she really cared about. One was her first Watcher and the other was you."

Buffy looked at her mother, surprised.

"She said that?" she repeated herself.

Joyce smiled.

"Yes."

Buffy quietly followed her mother, thinking about what she had said.

Back in her cell, Faith was staring at the photos, tears slipping down her cheeks.

The End