DISCLAIMER AND AUTHOR'S NOTE: All Buffy The Vampire Slayer stuff belongs to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and Warner Brothers. No copyright infringement was intended in the writing of this fiction. All other characters that appear belong to me. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies may be made for private use only and must include this copyright notice and disclaimer. There is some subtext in this story. If this kind of stuff is not legal where you live, if you're under 18 or if you don't like the notion of two women being in love, then you should find something else to read. This snippet is an alternative ending of the Buffy - Vampire Slayer episode Consequences.

Nothing to Lose
By Kristjan Brezovnik

When Faith dusted the last vamp, she looked around and saw Mr Trick, who was about to kill Buffy. She froze. A part of her was afraid to help Buffy, because then she would have to face her, but a part of her didn't want Buffy to die and that part won. She grabbed a piece of wood as she approached Trick from behind and then staked the vamp. She saw surprise, relief and gratitude in Buffy's eyes and it made her uncomfortable.

Buffy, afraid she was about to die, again, was surprised when Trick suddenly frowned and then turned to dust. She was relieved, especially when she saw that it was Faith who killed him, she had not expected her help.

The two Slayers stared at one another for a few moments and Buffy felt sick as she feared that Faith would leave. She stepped closer and hugged the surprised Faith, who stiffened.

Faith was completely surprised and extremely uncomfortable by Buffy's unexpected embrace. Under different circumstances she would have melted in Buffy's embrace, but right now she was scared witless.

Buffy was more afraid of losing Faith than she had realized. Her body started to tremble and she started to sob, tears streaming down her cheeks. She had let Faith down too often and if she let her run away now, God knows what would happen to her.

"I love you," she whispered, having nothing to lose.

Faith cringed when she felt Buffy's body begin to tremble and she heard Buffy sob. And when Buffy said she loved her, her body went completely stiff. It made her feel extremely uncomfortable and even more afraid, even though she craved the feeling of being loved. She was also confused, she couldn't believe that someone like Buffy would care for a screw-up like her. And, of course, there was also Angel to consider. No, she had to get away, as far away as possible, and try and forget Buffy. It would be best if she tore her out of her heart. She gently extricated herself from Buffy's embrace and stepped back.

Buffy froze when Faith took a step back, knowing that she was very close to losing Faith.

"Don't go," she said, wiping her tears. "Please."

Faith swallowed. She had to make Buffy hate her or she'll never be able to leave.

"What do you care?" she said, trying to sound confident and hostile.

"I… I love you," Buffy said, finding it hard to look into Faith's eyes.

Faith gulped, surprised, and then snorted.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" she asked. "Angel," she explained when Buffy gave her a confused look. "Aren't you two supposed to be a couple?"

Buffy bit her teeth, realizing Faith had a point.

"I… care about him, a lot, but every time I'm with you, I… I don't know, I feel… like I'm whole."

Faith gulped.

"And just when did you arrive to that conclusion?"

"I… I don't know. I guess I knew that for a long time, but I was afraid to admit it to myself, especially since you were always so confident. And then Angel came back and I still care about him and I was confused. I know you needed help and I wanted to help, I just didn't know how." She sighed. "I let you down so often," Buffy said and looked down. "It scares the hell out of me what might happen to you if I let you leave now."

Faith stared at her, surprised, having trouble believing that Buffy would care about her, and she didn't know whether she should be happy or scared.

"I killed Finch, remember?" she said, trying to distance herself.

"I know," Buffy said, "I was there. It was an accident."

"I know!" Faith said, upset. "But everyone started to treat me like I was some kind of criminal. Xander wanted to sweet talk me like I was some psycho holding a hostage, you hit me on the head, Angel chained me and Wes, he came at me like a was a rabid animal."

Buffy sighed.

"And you're forgetting you told everyone I killed Finch. And I only hit you because you were trying to strangle Xander. And Angel had you chained so you wouldn't run away or attack him while he talked to you. After all, you did try to kill Xander. But Angel wanted to help you and so did I, but, unfortunately, Wesley screwed up, big time." She sighed again. "Look, we both screwed up, but blaming one another or ourselves won't do us any good." She hesitated for a moment. "I know you probably don't feel about me as I do about you, but could we start over and at least be friends?"

Faith's heart was beating fast. She was excited, Buffy was offering her a second chance, but she was also scared, afraid that she would screw up again. She started to back off.

"Faith," Buffy said with tears in her eyes, and reached after her.

Faith stared at the offered hand and then looked back at Buffy. She flinched when she saw the tears. She screwed up again and Buffy got hurt again. She looked away and started to walk backwards.

"Faith! Don't go!" Buffy called after her, but Faith turned and ran away.

Buffy stared after her until she disappeared behind the corner. Then she slid down the wall, hugged her knees and burst into tears. She was too late. If only she'd had the guts to talk to Faith sooner, if only she'd taken the time to sort out her feelings, then perhaps none of the crap would've happened and Faith would still be here. And maybe they would even be together, but now it was too late and it was her fault.

Faith stopped when she turned around the corner, and attacked the wall with her fists and her feet. God, what kind of moron was she?! Was she completely brainless?! Buffy had offered her another chance and she threw it away, right into Buffy's face. And not only that, Buffy said she loved her. She wasn't completely sure that was true, but something was telling her it was. Somehow. And then she threw that away too and hurt Buffy again while she was at it. No wonder nobody cared about her, people only got hurt when they did. That's why she tried not to care, but with Buffy, she just couldn't help herself. And now it didn't matter anymore. She just hoped Buffy would get over her soon.

She sighed and decided to stowaway anyway, staying in Sunnydale would only cause pain, to Buffy and to herself. She went back and froze, surprised, when she saw Buffy sitting beside the wall, crying. She swallowed hard and stared at Buffy, unable to move. It hurt her to watch Buffy cry and she wanted to stop it, but she was too scared, after all, she was the reason for it.

Buffy suddenly felt that she was being watched. She looked up and was surprised when she saw Faith staring at her. When Faith didn't move, Buffy got up and slowly started to approach her, her hopes rising again when Faith didn't leave.

Faith stared at Buffy. She was scared, but that wasn't the reason she didn't move. She didn't move because she wanted to hear Buffy's voice again, even if Buffy would yell at her and tell her to go to hell. Her eyes went wide when Buffy reached out to her.

"Faith."

Faith was surprised, Buffy was giving her another chance? After she had just hurt her?

"Buffy, I…"

Her hand moved before her mind could find some stupid excuse and make her screw up again.

Buffy smiled when Faith took her hand.

"Oh Faith," she said and hugged her.

Faith was surprised for a moment and she felt strange, being hugged by someone who really cared, no, she corrected herself, loved, her. She finally hugged her back and found herself crying along with Buffy. She was scared, she knew that if she wanted her and Buffy to be together, she would have to be honest with Buffy. Honesty was never her thing, not when it came to self-preservation, because people only walked all over you if you let them in. But with Buffy, was she willing to risk it?

"I love you, Faith," Buffy whispered.

"I love you too, Buffy," she heard herself say before she could even think about it, thereby answering her own question.

Buffy broke the hug and looked at her, surprised.

"You do?"

Faith gulped, scared, and looked down.

"Yes," she whispered.

Buffy smiled.

"Why don't we go home and have a talk?"

Faith stared at her for a moment, still scared, but then she nodded, deciding to take the chance.

Buffy smiled and they went home.

The End