DISCLAIMER AND AUTHOR'S NOTE: All Buffy The Vampire Slayer stuff belongs to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and Warner Brothers. No copyright infringement was intended in the writing of this fiction. All other characters that appear belong to me. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies may be made for private use only and must include this copyright notice and disclaimer. There is some subtext in this story. If this kind of stuff is not legal where you live, if you're under 18 or if you don't like the notion of two women being in love, then you should find something else to read.

Shock
By Kristjan Brezovnik

Faith stared at Buffy, shocked, this was not how it was supposed to happen. She was supposed to end up with a knife up her gut, not Buffy.

"You… You killed me," Buffy said as she slowly feel down.

Faith just stared at her, feeling that she had screwed up again. But Buffy wasn't dead yet and Faith felt that maybe she could still do the right thing. She ran inside, tore up a sheet and then went back outside and bandaged Buffy's wound. Then she called 911 and carried Buffy downstairs.

The ambulance came quickly and when Faith pulled herself together, she realized she was driving with Buffy to the hospital. She stared at Buffy for a while and wondered why her vision was so blurry. She wiped her eyes and realized she was crying. Crying? She hadn't cried in… She didn't know when was the last time she cried. Then again, she had nothing to cry over before, just her pathetic self. And now she had royally fucked up, again, and Buffy was paying for it, again. Only this time, Buffy may die because of her.

During the surgery, she sat on a chair and stared at the floor, rocking gently.

"Miss," a voice startled her from her reverie.

"Yes?" Faith croaked and cleared her throat. "Yes?"

"Your friend is out of immediate danger, but I'm afraid she's in coma," the doctor said.

Faith stared at him, shocked, and tears came into her eyes again.

"Can… Can I see her?" she said after she furiously wiped her tears.

"As soon as they transfer her to another room," the doctor said and Faith nodded. "Do you know her family?" he asked and Faith nodded again. "Will you tell them?"

Faith stared at him and her eyes went wide when she realized what he asked. Buffy's mom and her friends, they needed to know. She hesitated for a moment and then nodded. She had killed Buffy, she might as well own up to it.

The doctor left and she went to the phone. She picked up the receiver and was about to dial, when she realized that she didn't know their phone numbers. She sighed and shuddered when she realized she would have to do it in person.

When Buffy was finally transferred, Faith went to her room. She stared at her, thinking how Buffy didn't look like a great hero at all. She looked like a girl. She realized that that's what she was, a girl. They were both just girl blessed, or cursed, depends on how you looked at it, with supernatural powers. But unlike herself, Buffy had accepted that burden used it to help people, while she herself used it to help herself. For the first time she realized that she really was a screw up and that it was her own fault. Tears began to run down her cheeks again and she wiped them.

After ringing the bell, Faith waited nervously for Joyce to open. She was about to leave when Joyce finally opened the door.

"Faith," she said, surprised. "Are you okay?" she asked when she saw blood on Faith's clothes.

"What?" Faith said, puzzled, and looked at herself. "Oh. Yeah."

"Can I help you? Do you want to come in? Buffy's not home."

Faith took a deep breath, avoiding Joyce's eyes.

"I know. She… She's in… in the hospital."

"What?" Joyce said, worried. "What happened?"

Faith took a deep breath, trembling slightly.

"I… I… I stabbed… her," she finally admitted and Joyce's eyes went wide.

"What? Why?" she asked, but Faith ran away. "Faith!" she called, but Faith ignored her.

Joyce stared at her for a moment. Then she grabbed her jacket and her purse and quickly drove to the hospital.

Faith, on the other hand, ran for a while. When she finally stopped, she felt like crying. She took a deep breath and forced herself not to. She thought about what she should do next. Angel. She needed to heal Angel. And there was only one way. She sighed and looked around to get her bearings.

When she got to Angel's mansion, she looked through the window and saw that Willow and Oz were watching him. She didn't feel like confronting them, so she decided to make a diversion. She kicked the door a few times and then ran away. She waited for a while and then Oz came out. She made some more noise and Oz followed it. She hid and when Oz came by, she clubbed him on the head. Then she went back to the door and did the same thing for Willow. After the guardians were taken care of, she entered the mansion and went to Angel. She stared at him for a while as he thrashed in his delirium and then leaned closer.

"Come on, Dead Boy, get a grip," she said and slapped him. "It's me, Faith. Remember, I'm the one who poisoned you. And guess what, I stabbed Buffy. Now how's that for incentive? Feel like drinking some of that special Slayer blood?" she asked and leaned closer. "Look at my neck, can't you just taste the blood in those veins? Come on, take a bite already! I know you want it! Don't you want to…"

She trailed off as Angel vamped out and sank his fangs into her neck. She realized she was about to die and she wanted to pull away, but then she remembered Buffy. She balled her hands into fists and let Angel drain her.

When Oz came around, his head hurt. He looked around and was relieved that he was still where he fell down. She rubbed the spot where Faith hit him, he was sure it was Faith, and went back toward the entrance. He got worried when he noticed Willow lying on the ground, but he was relieved when he saw that she also suffered from being hit on the head. He shook her.

"Willow."

Willow moaned.

"What? Ouch! Ouch, my head," she said and sat up to rub her head. She groaned as the pain intensified for a moment, and then rubbed her head. "Oz?" she said when she spotted her boyfriend. "What happened?"

"Faith."

"Faith?" Willow said, worried. Then her eyes went wide. "Angel!"

Oz helped her up and they went back inside.

What they saw, surprised them. There was Angel, draining Faith, who wasn't even fighting back. In fact, it looked like she was trying not to fight back. Which was confusing. But as much as she hated Faith, she didn't want her to get away that easily. She stepped closer.

"Angel!" she said, but Angel ignored her.

Oz helped her by pulling Angel away. Angel snarled at him, but then the Slayer blood kicked in and he realized what was going on. He morphed back into his normal face and looked at Faith. He wiped his mouth when he noticed blood on Faith's neck, and looked at Willow and Oz.

"How did she get in here?"

Willow glanced at oz.

"She baited us out and hit us on the head. It's a good thing you came around or she would have killed you."

Angel looked at Faith.

"No, she came here to save me," he said after a few moments.

"How do you know?" Willow asked, surprised.

"She taunted me, she wanted me to bite her." He frowned. "Have you heard from Buffy?"

"No. Why?"

Angel hesitated for a moment.

"She said she stabbed her."

"What?" Willow said, worried.

"Let's take her to the hospital. If it's true what she said, Buffy will be there," Angel said and picked her up.

Willow wanted to object, but she changed her mind, recalling that not so long ago she wanted to save Faith's life. She sighed and then she and Oz followed Angel.

"She lost a lot of blood," Angel informed the doctor who took over Faith.

Then he followed Willow and Oz as they searched for Buffy.

"Mrs Summers," he heard Willow. "How is she?"

Joyce looked at her and smiled.

"She's in coma."

"What… What happened?"

Joyce sighed and looked back at Buffy.

"I don't know. Faith came to me and said Buffy was in the hospital. I asked her what happened and she said she stabbed her. Then she ran away."

Willow glanced at Angel, who stood in the background.

"The doctor said that Faith probably saved her life," Joyce continued.

"Faith?" Willow asked, surprised.

Joyce nodded.

"She's the one who called 911. The doctor said that she came here with Buffy." She looked at Willow. "Do you know what is going on?"

Willow shrugged.

"I'm just as lost as you are."

Joyce sighed and looked back at Buffy.

"Faith."

Faith looked around, puzzled.

"B? Where are we?"

"In my mind."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

Faith frowned.

"What are we doing here?"

Buffy shrugged.

"I don't know."

Faith took a deep breath.

"Now what?"

"I don't know?"

Faith raised an eyebrow.

"Is there anything you do know?"

Buffy smiled.

"No."

"Great."

Buffy came closer and Faith backed off, so Buffy stopped.

"What's going on?" Buffy asked.

"Where?"

"Out there?"

Faith sighed.

"I think your mom's with you."

"Really?" Buffy said, worried. She thought for a moment. "How did she find out?"

Faith gulped and looked away.

"I told her."

"What?" Buffy said, surprised. She hesitated for a moment. "Did you tell her why I'm here?"

Faith nodded and Buffy raised an eyebrow, surprised.

"Angel's okay," Faith said after a few moments of silence.

"What?" Buffy said, surprised. "But the only way… You let him drink your blood?" she asked and Faith nodded. "Why?"

Faith looked at her.

"Does it matter? He's gonna live."

"I know. I just wanted to know why you decided to save him. I mean, you did poison him."

Faith sighed and looked away again.

"It doesn't matter," she said. She looked around as the dream world began to fade. "Seems I'm still alive." She looked at Buffy. "I'll save the world for you, B," she said. "I promise."

"Why?"

Faith smiled a bit.

"Too many questions, B. Maybe, someday, I'll even know the answers to them. Good bye, B."

"Faith…"

Faith gasped and opened her eyes. She was still alive. She wasn't sure whether to be happy or scared. She sighed. She gave Buffy a promise and she decided to fulfil it. She got up and left.

Angel came a few moments later and found her gone. He immediately went back to Buffy's room, but she was not there either.

"What is it?" Willow asked, noticing the worry in his face.

"Faith's gone."

"What?"

"Faith?" Joyce asked. "Was she here?"

Angel looked at Willow for help.

"Yes," Willow said. "But she left."

"Oh," Joyce said and looked back at Buffy.

"I'll go look for her," Angel said and left.

After narrowly avoiding Angel, Faith went to Buffy's room. She observed her for a few moments and then quickly left before Angel returned. She went straight to her apartment and cleaned up, hoping that the Mayor wasn't looking for her yet.

The next day, she went to the hospital first, to check up on Buffy. Buffy was still in coma and Joyce was sleeping on a chair beside her. She observed them for a few moments, wishing she had a mother like that, and then reported to the Mayor. After explaining that an overeager vamp managed to bite her before she staked him, she went to the Sunnydale High library.

Willow nearly jumped through the roof when she saw her.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, anger and fear in her voice.

Faith gave her a blank look.

"I'm here to help you."

"What?" Willow said, surprised.

"Why should we trust you?" Xander asked.

"Because without me, you're dead."

"Em, how come you've decided to help us?" Giles asked.

Faith looked at him.

"None of your business. You can either accept my help or we all die."

"And what do you suggest we do?" Giles quickly asked, stopping Willow and Xander from speaking.

"Simple. After his transformation is complete, he will be vulnerable again."

"Unfortunately, we don't have a mountain to throw on him," Cordelia said.

Faith looked at her.

"You don't need a mountain, the school will do."

"What do you mean?" Giles asked and Faith glanced at him before looking at Xander.

"Can you get explosive?"

"How much?" Xander asked, puzzled.

"A lot. We need to get the Mayor inside and then blow him up."

"And how do you propose we get him in?" Cordelia asked. "Hey, perhaps we should ask him nicely," she answered her own question sarcastically.

"I will," Faith said and smiled when Cordelia gave her a blank look. She looked at Giles. "I'll be the bait. He may be a demon, but he will still have his human weaknesses."

"What weaknesses? He's pretty much unkillable," Xander said.

"Me."

"You?" Xander said, puzzled.

"Yeah, me. When he changes, I'll betray him and he'll follow me inside. Then you blow up the school."

"What about you?" Giles asked.

Faith shrugged.

"Nothing. I either get out or I get eaten. And besides, you'll have plenty to do. The solar eclipse will happen when he transforms and he hired vamps to contain the kids and their parents. You'll have to include the others as well, if you wanna survive."

There was silence as the Scooby Gang thought about it.

"Why did you stab Buffy?" Willow then asked.

Faith sighed.

"It was an accident."

Xander snorted.

"Right," he said. "Like the last time."

Faith gave him a cold look.

"It was an accident," she repeated. She looked at Giles. "I'll come back later and you can tell me what you decided."

"How do we know you won't betray us to the Mayor?" Xander asked.

Faith gave him a blank look.

"You don't," she said and left.

"Now what?" Cordelia said when Faith was gone.

"We try to think of something else," Xander said.

"Like what? She came up with the only workable plan."

"She has a point," Giles agreed.

"You don't plan to go along with it, do you?" Willow asked.

"Do you have a better plan?"

Willow opened her mouth and closed it again.

"Does that mean I have to go get the explosive?" Xander asked.

Giles thought for a moment.

"Unless anyone has a better plan."

Nobody did.

"Great," Xander murmured.

"Oh what are you complaining?" Cordelia said, annoyed. "We're probably gonna survive because of her."

"You're on her side?" Xander asked, surprised.

"I'm not on anybody's side. And let's not forget you gave Angel a second chance."

"Yeah, but he had a good excuse for what he did."

"And how do you know that Faith didn't? I mean, it's not like you were best friends or anything. You probably only looked at her breasts and Willow was probably worried that Buffy would have another best friend. And let's not forget that you were all after her hide when she killed Finch. And that was an accident. If I remember correctly, the only one really interested in helping her was Buffy."

"Hey, I tried to help," Xander said.

Cordelia snorted.

"You were a one night stand, Xander, not her friend."

Xander blushed.

"I…"

"Is there anything you want me to do?" Cordelia interrupted him and looked at Giles.

"Ah, no, not at the mom… Actually, yes. While Xander is getting the explosives, someone will have to tell the students to prepare themselves."

"Fine, I'll do it," Cordelia said and left.

When the final hour came, Faith went to see Buffy one last time. Joyce had just gone to get something to eat, so she was alone with her. She took her hand and stared at her for a while.

"I'm sorry, Buffy," she said quietly. She leaned down and kissed her on the forehead. "I love you," she added and took a deep breath to calm down. "Good bye," she said and left.

When she got to Sunnydale High, she saw that the kids were getting ready for graduation. She noticed Xander and gave him a questioning look. He gave her an affirmative nod and she took a deep breath and continued to the Mayor.

The ceremony soon began and Faith watched as that disgusting principal delivered his opening speech and then stepped aside for the Mayor. The Mayor started his speech and Faith realized it was actually a good speech, if he had meant it. He realized that he was hypocritical in a way, delivering a speech on moral values just as he was about to walk all over them.

Then the sun finally disappeared behind the moon and the Mayor's transformation began. Faith watched, amazed, as he turned into a giant snake-like demon. She realized that he was evil. He may have treated her nice and gave her love, but he was evil and he had to go. She took a deep breath and looked at Xander. She gave him a nod and he ordered the first wave to attack just as the Mayor ate the Principal. Well, that was one person who would not be missed.

"Hey, Boss!" Faith called and the Mayor looked at her. "You suck! And you're so stupid!" she called and threw one of her two swords at him.

The sword hit the mark, but did no damage.

"Faith, I'm very disappointed in you," the Mayor said.

"Like I care. Guess what I'm gonna do after I take you out! I'm gonna go to your officer and make it dirty."

She started backing off and the Mayor followed her. She started to run and the Mayor still followed her. As she ran through the halls of the Sunnydale High, she could hear him crash right through the walls. When she got to the library, she stopped, ready to let the Mayor kill her, but then she realized that Giles probably wouldn't blow up the school until she was out, which meant that she had to get out.

Just as she jumped through the window, the Mayor barged into the library. He stopped and looked around.

"Oh gosh."

"Do it!" Faith called as she got up from the roll.

Giles made the contact and Sunnydale High and the Mayor were no more. Everyone stared at the burning school, shocked. Faith looked at the vampires, but they immediately started to retreat. She took a deep breath and looked back at the school. The Mayor was dead, the world was safe and she was still alive. She didn't know whether to be happy or sad about it. A couple of sobs shook her body, but she managed to pull herself together before she started crying.

Then she heard sirens and she decided to turn herself in. She was tired of running and at least in jail, she would have the time to think things over. She looked around for the nearest police car and that's when she saw Buffy. Her eyes went wide and she stared at her sister Slayer. She realized she was scared, not of Buffy or what she would do to her but of confronting her, of looking into her eyes.

The gang also noticed her and immediately surrounded her. Faith noticed that Angel wasn't among them. She looked around and noticed him standing beside a fire truck. She looked back at Buffy and saw that she had noticed him as well. She wondered why they weren't running toward one another at full speed. Then something strange happened, Angel left. It seemed that the brief eye to eye conversation was all that was needed, though she had no idea what it was all about. She sighed. It didn't really matter. She gave Buffy one last look and then headed toward the cops.

When Buffy had woken up from the coma, only her mother was there. When she found out what day and what time it was, she immediately ran to the school and she came just in time to see it blow up. She looked around and saw Faith, Giles and her friends. She was relieved that they were all okay. Faith was the first to notice her, but she immediately looked away. And then, before Buffy could do anything, her friends noticed her as well and they immediately surrounded her. They had a thousand questions, but Buffy didn't listen. She looked around and finally noticed Angel. They had said what needed to be said and Angel was leaving, she knew that. After a few moments of eye contact, he was gone. She sighed and looked at Faith, but Faith was not there anymore. She almost panicked for a moment, but then she saw her walking. She wondered for a moment where she was going, but then she saw a police car and she guessed that Faith wanted to turn herself in. And as much as a part of her wanted Faith to go to jail, the other, louder, part demanded, needed, answers. So she excused herself and hurried after Faith.

"Faith," she said when she caught up with her.

Faith glanced at her.

"Hey, B… Buffy."

Buffy raised an eyebrow, surprised that Faith had used her whole name.

"We need to talk," she said, deciding to ask Faith about it later.

"What's there to talk? I screwed up royally and now I'm going to pay for it."

"By turning yourself in?" Buffy asked and Faith nodded. "I didn't know you were a quitter."

Faith stopped and looked at her, puzzled.

"What do you mean?"

"Even if they do have enough evidence to put you away, it would be like a vacation for you."

Faith raised an eyebrow.

"Jail's hardly a vacation, B… Buffy," she corrected herself again.

"How come you're calling me by my whole name?"

"You don't like it?"

"I do, I'm just curious."

Faith sighed and for a moment she looked old and tired to Buffy.

"I gotta start somewhere."

"Start what?"

"Doing what's right." She hesitated for a moment. "And besides, I only called you B to piss you off."

"Oh. Wait," she said when Faiths started to walk again. "Look, I want to know why you did what you did, why you went to the Mayor and why you decided to come back."

Faith stared at her for a few moments and then continued to walk. Buffy took her hand.

"Please, Faith, I need to know."

"Why?" Faith asked and pulled her hand free.

Buffy sighed.

"Because in spite of what you did I still care about you."

Faith stared at her for a few moments.

"You're kidding, right?"

Buffy shook her head.

"No."

Faith thought for a few more moments and then started to walk again.

"Please, Faith. Why can't you tell me?"

Faith sighed.

"It would only make things worse," she said quietly, avoiding Buffy's eyes.

Buffy frowned.

"How can it make things worse?" She sighed. "Please, Faith, tell me. I don't want to lose you again."

Faith looked at her.

"You never had me," she said and Buffy frowned.

"What do you mean."

Faith shook her head.

"It doesn't matter."

"It does," Buffy said. "To me. I need to know, Faith. We were friends once."

Faith took a deep breath.

"We were never friends, B. You had your friends and I had none. You only hung out with me when we were slaying or training. And when you did invite me somewhere, other things came between and I was left alone. And…"

Buffy stared at her, shocked. Then she realized that Faith hasn't finished.

"And what?"

Faith shook her head.

"It doesn't matter, B."

"Are you trying to piss me off?" she asked, noticing that Faith started using the nickname again.

"I don't really care, B," Faith said, tired of the conversation. She hesitated for a moment. "I want to make up and the only way I can think of is to go to jail," she said quietly.

"You can't make up for anything in jail, Faith. Nobody cares about you there." She sighed. "Look, I know I was a lousy friend, but I had so many things on my mind."

"Friends share, B."

"I know. I'm sorry."

Faith chuckled.

"You're apologizing to me?"

"Maybe, if I had been a better friend, you wouldn't have done the things you've done."

Faith thought about it.

"Maybe. Maybe not." She sighed. "It wasn't only your fault. I had my own issues to deal with and instead of dealing I ignored them and ended up screwing you." She gulped. "I'm sorry," she said and looked down.

Buffy stared at Faith, surprised by the apology, though she quickly realized that she really shouldn't be.

"You want to make it better?" she asked.

Faith looked at her and nodded.

"Yeah."

"Then talk to me, Faith."

"I want to make it better, not worse."

"I know. But you can't make things better if you don't tell me everything." She hesitated for a moment. "Does it have anything to do with what you said while I was in coma?"

Faith frowned.

"I just said that I'd saved Angel and that I'd save the world."

"No, not then, later."

Faith frowned.

"That was the only time I talked to you."

Buffy shook her head.

"No. You said something not long before I woke up."

Faith thought for a moment, puzzled, but then her eyes went wide with realization.

"Oh."

She gulped and turned away.

"I'm not mad, Faith. And… And perhaps, now that Angel's gone…"

"What do you mean?" Faith interrupted her, puzzled.

Buffy sighed.

"We broke up. Things are just too complicated to work between us. We're still friends, but, well, he moved to LA."

"Oh."

Buffy took a deep breath before she continued her previous thought.

"Anyway, perhaps now that he's gone, I'll be able to return your feelings," she said and blushed, nervous.

Faith frowned first, but then realization hit her and her eyes went wide.

"I don't want to be a rebound," she said bitterly.

"Me neither, that's why I want to take it slowly."

Faith stared at Buffy for a few moments and then turned away.

"Faith?" Buffy said, worried.

Faith thought for a few moments. She didn't want to be hurt again, but if she could work things out with Buffy, well, it was better than jail. And Buffy wasn't angry. Yet. She turned back and tried to look into Buffy's eyes.

"I went to the Mayor because I wanted to feel useful, respected." She hesitated for a moment. "I stayed because he gave me what you couldn't, love."

Buffy stared at Faith, wide-eyed.

"Those… Those… innuendoes," Faith hesitantly continued, "I… I was just trying to figure out if you would be interested."

"Oh," Buffy said, thinking about the innuendoes. "They kinda freaked me out," she said.

"Yeah."

"Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed being with you, but your come-ons freaked me out. Not to mention my other problems." She sighed. "I hate Sunnydale."

Faith almost laughed and Buffy smiled.

"I'm sorry about Angel, I was… jealous of him."

Buffy nodded.

"Yes, I figured that by now. I'm sorry I tried to kill you."

Faith sighed.

"That was the plan."

Buffy frowned.

"What do you mean?"

"I knew you would come for me. And even though I worked for the Mayor, I wanted you to end it for me, to become like me. But I screwed up again and you ended up in the hospital instead of me."

"Oh," Buffy said, shaken by the thought that Faith wanted to die.

"You know," Faith said, thinking, "beside my Watcher, he was the only one that made me feel like I mattered."

"I'm sorry," Buffy said, feeling bad that she couldn't make Faith feel like she mattered. "You do matter, you know, to me."

Faith glanced at the Scooby Gang, who was watching them warily.

"I don't think they'd agree."

"It doesn't matter whether they agree or not." She thought for a moment. "I want to start over again, Faith. You think we can do that? Become friends?" She hesitated for a moment. "Maybe more?"

Faith thought for a while.

"I don't know, B… Buffy." She hesitated for a moment. "I want to, but I don't want to be a burden to you."

"You're not."

"You don't know just how screwed up I am. I have problems that would occupy shrinks for years."

Buffy smiled.

"So do I. But I have friends and my mom to share them with and they help me through. I want to help you through and I think Mom would too."

Faith raised an eyebrow.

"She knows I stabbed you," she pointed out.

Buffy hesitated for a moment.

"Talk to her."

"What?" Faith said, puzzled.

"Talk to her."

"Why?"

"It helped when you talked to me. I mean, we're not done talking yet, but for now we are. The guys are still angry, but I know that Mom is confused and she wants to know what is going on. She likes you and she's also worried."

"She is?" Faith said, surprised.

"Yes."

Faith thought for a few moments and then took a deep breath.

"Okay."

"You'll talk to her?"

Faith nodded.

"Yeah."

Buffy smiled.

"Okay. And if things work out with Mom, maybe you could move in with us."

"What?" Faith said, surprised.

"If you want. I mean, we're supposed to be friends, right? And I can't exactly let you stay at a motel." She frowned. "If I hadn't found you so annoying, I might have invited you to stay with us when you first got here." She shook her head. "Anyway, I don't want you to be alone anymore. You'll have your own room if you'll want to be alone. I mean, if you want."

Faith stared at Buffy for a while, thinking. She liked her independence, but it was lonely sometimes. And even though the Mayor made her feel like family, the apartment never really was a home. Buffy's house was a home and Buffy was inviting her to become a part of it. Sure, she would lose some of her independence, but she would gain a home, especially if she and Buffy eventually became an item. She usually didn't let herself hope, but right now, she was at her all time low and things could only go up from here.

"We'll see how things work out with your mom," she said.

Buffy smiled and nodded. She offered her her hand and Faith stared at it for a few moments before taking it.

"Let's go tell the guys that we're going home."

Faith didn't exactly look forward to facing the Scooby Gang again, but she followed Buffy.

"We're going home," Buffy said when they got to her friends.

"Both of you?" Willow asked.

"Yes."

"But…"

"It's okay, Willow."

"Are you sure?"

Buffy nodded.

"Yes. We'll see you tomorrow."

"Both of you?" Xander asked.

"Yes, both of us," Buffy said determinedly. She looked at Giles. "Good night, Giles."

"Good night, Buffy. Faith."

The gang watched the Slayers as they left.

They didn't talk while they walked to Buffy's house, hand in hand, and Faith even managed to calm down a bit, numb herself. But the closer they came to Buffy's house the more nervous she became.

"Are you sure she ain't gonna freak out?" Faith asked as they walked up to the door.

Buffy gently squeezed her hand.

"No, but I'm on your side."

Faith gulped, hoping that Joyce wouldn't freak out.

"Mom!" Buffy called as they entered.

Joyce immediately came.

"Buffy…" She trailed off when she saw Faith. "Faith."

Faith gulped.

"Hi," she said, avoiding her eyes.

"Is everything okay?" Joyce asked Buffy after a moment.

"Yep, Faith saved the world."

"I…" Faith started to object.

"And the guys, of course," Buffy added.

Joyce stared at them for a few moments, thinking.

"Em, Faith, did I hear you correctly when you said that you stabbed Buffy?"

Faith gulped and nodded, avoiding her eyes.

"Mom…" Buffy started.

"Why?" Joyce asked.

"I-It was… an accident."

"An accident! Buffy nearly died."

"Mom, please," Buffy said. "I started it."

"What?" Joyce said, surprised.

"Look, it's a long story."

"I have time."

"But we're not ready to tell it yet. We both need some time to talk things over."

Joyce stared at the two Slayers for a few moments.

"Alright," she agreed. "But I want to know what happened."

Buffy nodded.

"You will." She hesitated for a few moments. "Can Faith move in with us?"

Joyce glanced at Faith.

"Why?"

"Well, she lives in a lousy motel and I thought it might do her good if she moved in with us."

Joyce thought about it for a few moments.

"Why didn't you invite her when she first came to Sunnydale?"

"Well, I had… other things on my mind then."

"I see." She looked at Faith. "Very well then. Do you have anything to wear?"

Faith looked at her.

"I… Em…"

"We'll pick up her stuff tomorrow," Buffy said when she noticed that Faith was not exactly coherent.

"Oh. Are you two hungry?"

"I'm starving?" She looked at Faith. "Faith?"

"Me too," Faith said quietly.

"Good. Buffy, show Faith to her room and I'll prepare dinner."

"Okay, Mom," Buffy said and took Faith upstairs. "This is your room," she said when they got to the spare room. "You like it?"

"Yeah," Faith said, not really caring.

"Let me show you where things are in the bathroom, so you'll know when you take a shower later. I'll get you something to sleep in."

During dinner, everyone was quiet. Buffy wolfed down her food, while Faith ate more slowly. Joyce observed them for a while, especially Faith, but then she left them alone.

"Buffy, can you help me take some trash from the basement out?" Joyce said after dinner.

"Sure, Mom," Buffy said and looked at Faith. "You okay?"

Faith nodded and went upstairs.

When Buffy and Joyce were done taking out the trash, Buffy went upstairs to go to the toilet. She opened the door and realized that Faith was taking a shower.

"Oh, sorry, I…" She trailed off when she noticed that Faith was sitting in the shower booth. "Faith?"

She stepped closer and heard sobbing. She hesitated for a moment and then slowly opened the booth door.

"Faith?"

Faith didn't respond and she opened the door wider. She was surprised to see Faith sitting, hugging her knees and crying. She turned off the water and kneeled beside Faith. Faith finally noticed her and seemed to shrink. Buffy was shocked by the look of hell in her eyes. She hugged her and she felt Faith tense in her arms.

"It's okay," she said and caressed her. "It's okay."

Faith slowly relaxed and continued to cry and Buffy quietly held her and occasionally caressed her.

Joyce came up a few minutes later and saw the light on in the bathroom.

"Buffy?" she said and looked inside.

She saw Buffy's legs in the shower and she heard crying.

"Buffy?" she said as she approached the shower booth. "Oh," she said when she saw Buffy hugging the naked and crying Faith.

Buffy looked at her and Joyce nodded and left.

Finally, Faith stopped crying and Buffy let go of her.

"Feeling better?" she asked and caressed her.

Faith flinched, but she quickly calmed down. She nodded, still trembling, and looked away.

"Don't be ashamed, Faith," Buffy said and wiped her own tears. "I don't think you're pathetic."

Faith looked at her, surprised that Buffy had guessed what she was thinking and also that she was also crying.

"You've started to deal, Faith, and crying is a part of it. Believe me, I know. The point is to allow yourself to cry, it will make it easier to deal." She smiled and caressed Faith again. "It'll be okay, you'll see." She got up and looked at herself. "Damn." She looked back at Faith. "I'll just leave the wet clothes here, okay?"

She undressed to her underwear and then looked at Faith again. "I'll leave so you can finish showering," she said with a soft smile and left.

When Faith came to her room, she saw that Buffy had already prepared the sleeping clothes for her, a pair of panties, socks and a large t-shirt. She dropped the towel and dressed herself. Then she picked up the towel to take it to the bathroom, but Buffy was already inside. So she folded the towel, laid it beside the door and returned to her room.

When Joyce came upstairs, she noticed the folded towel beside the bathroom door. She looked at Faith's room and saw that the door was ajar. She thought for a moment and then decided to check up on Faith. She went to the door and gently knocked. There was no response, so she slowly pushed the door open and peeked inside. She saw Faith sitting on her bed, obviously having a very vivid and very unpleasant flashback. She hesitated for a moment and then approached her.

"Faith."

Faith jerked and looked at her, her eyes wide. Joyce was surprised to see so much pain in them.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

Faith stared at her for a few moments and then nodded.

"Do you need anything?"

Faith shook her head.

"Well, if you do, let me know."

Faith nodded.

Joyce stared at her for a few moments and then turned to leave.

"I stabbed Buffy," Faith finally croaked.

"What?" Joyce said and turned around.

"I stabbed Buffy," Faith repeated more quietly.

Joyce stared at her, surprised.

"Why?"

"I-It was an a-accident," Faith said, avoiding Joyce's eyes.

Joyce frowned.

"What do you mean?"

Faith hesitated for a moment.

"I-I w-wanted her to k-kill me," she then stammered.

Joyce stared at Faith, shocked.

"Why?"

"B-Because I'm a m-monster."

"What?" Joyce said, puzzled. "What do you mean?"

"I'm a murder-er. I-I killed two m-men."

Joyce stared at Faith, shocked.

"When?"

Faith thought for a moment.

"One over three m-months ago and the o-other a c-couple of d-days ago."

Joyce stared at her for a while, thinking. Then she suddenly guessed the identity of the first man.

"It was that deputy Mayor," she said and tried to remember the name. "Finch or something."

Faith gulped and nodded.

Joyce thought for a moment.

"Why?"

"I-It was an accident."

"Really?"

Faith nodded.

"And the other one?"

"P-Professor W-Wirth."

"A professor?" Joyce said, puzzled. "Why?"

Faith hesitated for a while and Joyce noticed that she was trembling.

"The M-Mayor wanted me to k-kill him."

Joyce was shocked that Faith would assassinate someone in cold blood.

"Mom?" Buffy asked as she entered the room and heard Faith's answer.

Joyce looked at her.

"Buffy, did you know about this?"

"The murders? Yes."

Joyce stared at her for a few moments and then looked at Faith. Buffy feared that her mother would throw Faith out, so she went to the bed, sat beside Faith and took her hand.

"Mom…" she started, but Joyce interrupted her by raising her hand.

Silence followed and Buffy became worried, especially since she could feel fear radiating from Faith.

Joyce, on the other hand, was thinking about what Faith had said. She didn't know what had really happened, but Faith had told her anyway, even though she didn't have to. And she knew Faith had taken Buffy to the hospital, waited for Buffy to be operated and then came to tell her in person. And the look in Faith's eyes, she knew Faith was scared and hurt. And even though Faith had stabbed her, Buffy still wanted to take care of Faith. And in spite of what Faith had so, or maybe because of it, she also knew that Faith was sorry. But, she needed to hear it from her.

"Faith," she said, but Faith didn't look at her. "Faith, look at me."

"Mom…" Buffy wanted to protect Faith again, but Joyce stopped her by raising her hand again.

"Faith, look at me," she commanded and Faith suddenly looked at her, seemingly unable to look away. "Are you sorry for what you have done?" Faith stared at her and then nodded curtly. "Say it," Joyce demanded.

"Mom…"

"Say it."

"I… I'm s-sorry," Faith said and tears started to run down her cheeks.

Joyce sighed.

"Do you want to make up for it?" she asked and Faith nodded curtly again. "Do you want Buffy's help?" she continued and Faith nodded curtly again, after a moment of hesitation. Joyce took a deep breath. "Then you're welcome to stay, if you want," she said.

Faith stared at her for a moment, surprised, and then nodded.

"Thanks, Mom," Buffy said, feeling the tears well up in her eyes.

Joyce nodded, smiling softly, and left.

Buffy then looked at Faith, who was still trembling and crying. She hesitated for a moment and then slowly hugged her. She was relieved that Faith didn't flinch but simply leaned into her, hugging her arms, and started sobbing. Buffy gently caressed her and let her own tears flow.

When Faith finally stopped crying, Buffy slowly let go of her. Faith looked at her and they stared at one another for a while.

"Thank you," Faith finally said in a raspy voice.

Buffy smiled.

"Anytime, Faith."

She hesitated for a moment and then got up, but Faith grabbed her arm and Buffy looked at her, surprised. Faith hesitated for a moment.

"Stay," she then said. "P-Please."

Buffy was surprised, but then she smiled.

"Okay. Just let me close the door and turn off the light."

Faith let go of her arm and Buffy did what she said she would. Buffy then returned to the bed.

"Are you ready to go to sleep?" she asked Faith.

Faith nodded. Buffy hesitated for a moment and then climbed in. Faith joined her a moment later. They lay next to one another for a few moments and then Buffy slowly cuddled up to Faith, who went stiff for a moment but then relaxed.

"I hope you don't mind," Buffy said.

"No," Faith said after a moment. "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why are you… c-cuddling?"

Buffy sighed.

"Because I'm scared."

Faith frowned, puzzled.

"Of what?"

"Of not being able to help you get through this."

Faith was surprised. Buffy was afraid? Of not being able to help her? Nobody had ever cared that much. Well, except maybe the Mayor, but she didn't want to think about him.

"Thank you," she finally said and turned to face her.

"You're welcome," Buffy said, smiling.

Faith hesitated for a moment.

"Can… Can I… hug you?"

Buffy's smile widened.

"Sure."

Faith slowly reached over with her arm and Buffy moved even closer.

"Everything will be okay," Buffy whispered. "Good night, Faith."

"Night."

After a night full of nightmares, Buffy knew a lot more about Faith than she did the evening before. And what was more, she was sure that Faith was sorry. She quietly observed Faith as she slept, exhausted from the nightmares. She looked so beautiful and innocent and Buffy just wanted to hold her and never let her go.

When Faith finally woke up, Buffy felt her tense when she saw in what position she was. Buffy smiled at her.

"Morning," she said.

Faith stared at her for a few moments and then relaxed.

"Morning."

"How do you feel?"

Faith thought for a moment.

"Like I'm gonna fall apart any minute," she said and took a deep breath. She hesitated for a moment. "Thank you for being there for me."

Buffy smiled and tucked a stray curl behind Faith's ear.

"You're welcome." She thought for a moment. "Are you hungry?"

"Starving," Faith said, but neither moved. "Can… Can we stay here for a while?"

Buffy smiled again.

"Sure."

Faith snuggled even closer and their foreheads touched. They stared at one another for a few moments and then Faith closed her eyes. Buffy continued to observe her and she immediately noticed when Faith started relieving bad memories. She was about to intervene, when Faith opened her eyes.

"Shh," she said when she felt Faith tremble, and caressed her.

Faith looked at her for a few moments and then looked away, but she didn't close her eyes.

"I… I'm… scared," she finally said.

"I know," Buffy said. "But I'll help you."

Faith took a deep breath and nodded.

"Remember, Faith, one step at a time."

"I'm not even sure I can make it through the next ten minutes," Faith said.

"Then concentrate on the next five minutes. Or just one minute. And when it passes, concentrate on the next."

Faith sighed and nodded.

"And don't be afraid to come to me if you need help. Or to Mom."

Faith gulped and nodded.

Buffy caressed her and then they lay quietly for a while before getting up and facing the day.

The End