DISCLAIMER AND AUTHOR'S NOTE: All Xena stuff is the legal property of MCA/Universal and Renaissance Pictures. No copyright infringement was intended in the writing of this fiction. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies may be made for private use only and must include this copyright notice and disclaimer. There is so little subtext in this story that, if this kind of stuff is illegal where you live, if you're under 18 or you find the notion of two women making love offensive, you really don't have to reconsider before reading.

Solstice Wish
By Kristjan Brezovnik

Although there had been no pursuers following them for quite some time, Callisto's horse kept running, carrying his unconscious and badly wounded mistress to safety. When it finally stopped, it wasn't from tiredness but from a broken leg after it had stepped into a treacherous puddle in the middle of the road. It crashed to the ground, throwing its mistress off.

That was how a group of children found them a couple of hours later. They checked the unconscious Callisto and then one of them ran off while another went to the horse and started to caress it.

The child, a boy, returned a few minutes later with a young woman about Callisto's age. The woman stared at Callisto for a few moments and then checked her pulse.

"Pericles, take off her weapons," she said and lifted Callisto so that the boy could take off the scabbard and the rest of the weapons.

Then she gently laid her down again.

"Timandra, how is the horse?"

"His leg is broken," the girl reported.

"Run to the village and tell them there is a horse with a broken leg here."

The girl nodded and ran away.

"Melanipus, Alcmaeo, remove the saddle and carry it home, Glaukos, you carry the saddlebags and the weapons. Pericles, you will go with me, in case I need help. The rest of you go home and prepare a mattress, herbs, bandages and warm water."

The children did as they were told and the woman picked up Callisto and carried her home.

When Callisto woke up several days later, she had a headache and her head burned.

"She's awake!" she heard someone call and she slowly opened her eyes.

Things were a bit fuzzy for a few moments, but then they cleared up and she saw a woman smiling at her.

"Hello," the woman said and reached towards her head, "I am Ariadne and... Au!" she screamed when Callisto grabbed her hand.

Callisto then noticed that she was not wearing her own clothes. She looked around and noticed her belongings piled in a corner near her bed. She let go of the woman's hand and looked under the blanket.

"I had to change your clothes," the woman explained, noticing Callisto's concern. "I cleaned you clothes and weapons, they're all there."

She pointed at Callisto's belongings.

"How long have I been here?" Callisto asked.

"Two days. We found you down the road. Your horse broke its leg. I had the healer take care of your wounds, but unfortunately he couldn't come again to take care of them because of the snow, so I did what I could."

"Bring me my dagger," Callisto said.

Ariadne was confused.

"Why?"

Callisto gave her an annoyed look.

"Because I want it," she said.

Ariadne fetched it and Callisto put it under the blanket, beside her body.

"What's your name?" Ariadne then asked.

"Callisto," Callisto said and closed her eyes as the headache became stronger.

"It suits you perfectly," Ariadne said and Callisto gave her a sharp look, causing her to blush. "Are you okay?" she asked, noticing that something was not quite right with Callisto.

She reached for Callisto's head, but was again stopped by Callisto.

"I just want to see if you have a fever," Ariadne explained, massaging her hand.

"Yes," Callisto said.

"I'll get you a cold compress."

Ariadne got up to fetch the compress and Callisto closed her eyes.

When she woke up the next morning, she felt someone arm was stretched over her chest. She looked and saw it was Ariadne's. She pushed Ariadne away and Ariadne woke up with a start.

"Watch where you lie," Callisto said.

"I'm sorry," Ariadne said and blushed, but Callisto couldn't see it due to darkness. "How do you feel?" she asked after a pause. "Do you still have a fever?"

"No."

Ariadne picked up the compress, which had fallen off Callisto's forehead during the night.

"Are you hungry?" she asked.

"Yes."

"I'll get you some soup."

Ariadne got up and left and Callisto closed her eyes.

When Ariadne returned, Callisto opened her eyes again. Ariadne put the plate on the floor, beside the mattress.

"Do you want me to help you sit?" she asked, but Callisto shook her head and sat on her own.

Ariadne then gave her the plate and Callisto started eating. Ariadne quickly dressed up and started to prepare breakfast for the children.

When Callisto was finished eating, she put the plate on the floor.

"Do you know where I could get a horse?" she asked.

Ariadne looked at her.

"I think there is one for sale in the village, but you can't go there."

"And why is that?" Callisto asked.

"Because so much snow has fallen that we can't even open the door," Ariadne explained. "Even the windows are blocked. I think this is the worst winter in a hundred years. We're trapped in the house."

Callisto bit her teeth. She didn't like to think that she would have to spend an entire winter in this house. She looked around.

"Why is everyone sleeping here?" she asked.

"Because we couldn't get enough firewood, so we're saving it."

"And the children?"

"They're orphans. I take care of them."

Callisto didn't comment. She lay down and thought about the last fight. Most of the wounds she remembered were not dangerous, but at least two were. She touched them and the pain warned her that she should be careful. She closed her eyes and rested.

When the children woke up, Callisto ignored them. The children dressed up and ate their breakfast and then they played. When Ariadne cleaned up the dishes, she came to Callisto.

"It's time to change your bandages," she said.

Callisto opened her eyes and looked at her. Then she removed the blanket.

Ariadne hesitated for a moment and then opened Callisto's shirt. Callisto didn't resist and Ariadne started to remove the old bandages. Callisto quietly observed her and examined the wounds. She saw that they were healing nicely and she was satisfied.

When Ariadne was done, Callisto covered herself again and closed her eyes. She was just considering what to do for the next few months when she heard a familiar sound. She opened her eyes and saw a girl mess around her belongings, obviously trying to get the chakram. Callisto grabbed her dagger and threw it at the girl.

The girl screamed as the blade pinned her hand to the wall and she started to cry. All other children froze, astonished.

"Aegle?" Ariadne asked, worried, as she came running and froze, astonished, when she saw what had happened. "How could you do that?" she asked Callisto, not understanding.

She ran to the girl and pulled the dagger out of her hand.

"Clean up the dagger and bring it back," Callisto said and closed her eyes.

Ariadne stared at her for a few moments, confused.

"It's all right," she then said and hugged Aegle. "Come, let's take care of your hand."

She picked up the crying girl and took her away.

Callisto heard her when she returned. She heard her hesitate and she knew that Ariadne wanted to kill her.

"Go ahead," she said, "I won't stop you." She opened her eyes and smiled at Ariadne's confused look. "Go ahead."

Ariadne hesitated and then put the dagger down. Callisto's hand appeared from under the blanket and took the dagger.

"Why?" Ariadne asked.

"She should know better than to mess around other people's belongings."

"She's just a girl."

"Then she better start learning fast, world is full of bad people," Callisto advised and closed her eyes again.

Ariadne stared at her for a few moments, not understanding how someone could be so cruel.

Callisto lay still, still trying to figure out what to do in the coming months.

When Ariadne came around to change Callisto's bandages, Callisto noticed that she was not as careful as she was the previous day. She ignored it for a while, but when Ariadne was even more rude, she had enough.

"I suggest you be more careful," she said, "or you will suffer the same fate as the child."

Ariadne paled. Callisto smiled and closed her eyes again.

Next morning Ariadne woke up to the sounds she had never heard before. She listened and realized they were coming from Callisto, she was talking in her sleep. She listened closely and discovered that Callisto was having a nightmare and that she was calling her mother. She was surprised, she had seen how mean Callisto could be, but when she saw her sleeping like that, calling for her mother, she realized that there was another side to Callisto. She caressed her and then gently shook her.

"Call..." she started, but was interrupted by Callisto, who grabbed her hand and twisted it. "Au," she moaned.

Callisto realized that it was just a dream and that Ariadne had woke her up and she let go of her. Ariadne massaged her hand, still surprised by Callisto's sudden reaction. She observed her and noticed that she was breathing faster and that she was obviously badly shaken.

"Are you all right?" she asked.

Callisto gave her an angry look and then closed her eyes, trying to calm down.

Ariadne was confused by the angry look and she realized that the nightmare was something very personal to Callisto, something she didn't want anyone to know about. She considered caressing Callisto, but decided against it, remembering the past experiences. She looked around and decided that it was time to get up.

After the breakfast, Callisto lay for a few hours but then she finally had enough of lying around, it was driving her crazy. The children stopped playing when they saw her get up. Callisto smiled, noticing their fear.

"Wait, you should be lying," Ariadne said when she saw that Callisto was up.

"I have enough of lying around," Callisto said and tried to stretch.

"But..." Ariadne started and stopped when Callisto gave her an annoyed look.

Callisto then went to her belongings and examined them. When she was sure that nothing was missing, she took her sword and a whetstone. She sat down next to her bed and started to sharpen the sword.

The children saw that she was not going to hurt them and they started to play again.

When Ariadne noticed that Callisto was observing the children while absentmindedly sharpening her sword, she decided to try and find out more about her. She went to her, but before she could speak, Callisto spoke.

"I was wondering whether I should put them out of their misery," she said.

Ariadne paled, shocked, and she immediately stepped between Callisto and the children.

"Over my dead body," she said determinedly.

Callisto looked at her.

"Yes, so?" she asked.

Ariadne was confused.

"Why?" she asked.

"What do you think will become of them when they grow up?" she asked, observing the children again.

"I don't know," Ariadne said, confused.

"Whores? Thieves? Murderers?"

Ariadne was horrified.

"No," she said determinedly.

Callisto looked at her and smiled.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," Ariadne said.

Callisto looked back at the children.

"Well, perhaps they'll all become happy farmers," she said. "Which is probably worse."

Ariadne stared at Callisto for a few moments.

"Why are you so cruel?" she then asked.

Callisto gave her an amused look.

"And why not?" she asked. "In case you haven't noticed, it's a cruel world out there."

"That's not true," Ariadne objected.

"My, aren't you naive? Just look at the children," Callisto said and pointed at the orphans. "Why are they orphans? What happened to their families?"

Ariadne bit her teeth, realizing that Callisto had a point. Then she remembered Callisto's dream.

"And what happened to you?" she asked.

Callisto frowned. She gave Ariadne an angry look, but it was immediately replaced by a serious look as she thought about the past.

"Xena happened," she said and got up.

Ariadne wanted to ask more questions, but Callisto walked past her and put her sword and the whetstone away. Then she went to a door which led into other parts of the house.

"Where are you going?" Ariadne asked.

"Inspect the house."

"Do you want me to show you around?" Ariadne offered.

"No."

Ariadne stared after Callisto, thinking about their conversation.

When lunch was ready, Callisto joined others at the table. She ignored the children's glances and quickly ate her food. Then she went to the barn, which was connected with the house, and practiced.

When she returned, she noticed that Ariadne was fixing some ornaments on the tree.

"What's with the tree?" she asked.

Ariadne looked at her and smiled.

"It a Solstice tree. We decorate one each year for Solstice."

"Why?"

"To celebrate the good in the world. On winter solstice, the nights starts to get shorter and the days longer."

Callisto raised her eyebrows, but didn't comment. She went to the fire instead and stared at it.

Callisto was having the nightmare again the next morning, but Ariadne was already in the kitchen this time. Callisto awoke with a scream. She sat up and closed her eyes, trying to calm down. Suddenly she felt she was being watched. She opened her eyes and looked at the children angrily. The children immediately hid their heads under their blankets.

By the time Ariadne arrived, Callisto was lying again, her eyes closed. Ariadne looked around the room, confused, and then went to Callisto. She noticed that she was trembling a bit and she realized that she was the one who had screamed.

"Are you okay?" she asked quietly when she kneeled beside Callisto's mattress.

Callisto gave her an angry look.

"Do I look like I'm okay?" she asked.

"Sorry, I didn't mean..." Ariadne started, but Callisto closed her eyes again.

Several days passed and most of Callisto's wounds had healed. She was feeling trapped and she desperately wanted to get out, but she had confirmed Ariadne's claim that they were trapped. It was driving her crazy to have to stay in and with children on top of it. She thought about killing them but decided against it, having nowhere to deposit the corpses.

She tried staring at the fire and she tried to practice harder, but nothing worked and she was slowly going insane.

When Ariadne came to the barn several days later to tell Callisto that lunch was ready, she found her hitting a wooden support determinedly. She was confused for a moment, but when she noticed that her knuckles were bleeding, she got worried.

"Callisto," she said, but Callisto ignored her and kept hitting the wooden support. "Callisto," she said louder and stepped closer, but there was no response. "Call..." she started as she touched Callisto's shoulder, but was stopped by a powerful blow to the head, which sent her sprawling across the ground.

She looked at Callisto, shocked, but Callisto kept hitting the wooden support as if nothing had happened. Ariadne touched her head where Callisto had hit her and felt wetness. She looked at her palm and noticed that it was red. For a moment she thought it was her blood, but when she ran her hand over the spot, she realized it was Callisto's.

Suddenly Callisto stopped hitting the wooden support and looked at her knuckles. Then she apparently noticed Ariadne and looked at her, confused at first, then lost.

"Am I dead or alive?" she asked.

Ariadne was confused.

"You're alive," she said.

"Then why does it feel like I'm in Tartarus again?" she asked and went into the house.

Ariadne was surprised. She got up and followed her. When she got to the main room, she saw that Callisto was sitting in front of the fireplace, staring into the fire. She hesitated for a moment and then went to her.

"You're bleeding," she said, but Callisto ignored her.

Ariadne hesitated for a moment and then slowly put her hand on Callisto's shoulder, ready to back off if Callisto decided to hit her. But Callisto didn't move. Ariadne considered for a moment and then fetched water, herbs and bandages. She cleaned the blood off Callisto's knuckles, but when she wanted to apply the herbs, Callisto looked at her.

"Leave," she said.

"But you're wounded," Ariadne objected.

"Leave," Callisto repeated and returned to staring at the fire.

Ariadne hesitated for a moment and then left.

Callisto stared at the fire for a while longer and then looked at her knuckles. They were baldy bruised and some cuts looked pretty severe. They hurt as well. She had wondered whether the pain in her heart was any different from the physical pain, it was. Not to mention the annoying feeling of being trapped and helpless, it was driving her insane. In a way, she felt like she was back in Tartarus, alone with her thoughts and her pain.

Suddenly something fell down in front of her. It was a doll over which Aegle was fighting with another girl. When the children saw where the doll had fallen, they stopped playing, afraid of what Callisto would do.

But Callisto merely picked up the doll and stared at it for a while. Then she looked in the direction from which the doll had come and saw how the children stood still, waiting for her reaction. She quickly discovered who had thrown the doll.

"I believe this is yours," she said to Aegle and offered her the doll.

Aegle hesitated for a moment, but when Callisto didn't do anything and even put on a brief smile, she carefully approached her and then quickly took the doll and backed off. Callisto then returned to staring at the fire and the children resumed doing what they were doing before the incident.

Callisto kept staring at the fire, but her thoughts kept returning to the doll, not Aegle's but her own, the one her mother made her when she was little. She remembered that her mother had also made one for her sister and how they often played together.

She shook her head to chase away the memories, which, even though pleasant, led to the horrible ones. She looked around the room and saw that the children were either playing again or helping Ariadne. She noticed that Aegle was playing with the girl with whom she was fighting before. She observed them for a while and then got up and went to them, needing something to do.

"May I join you?" she asked and both girls looked at her, surprised and a bit scared.

"You want to play with us?" the other girl asked.

"Yes."

The girls looked at each other, confused.

"Okay," the other girl then said and Callisto sat down.

"What's your name?" she asked the girl.

"Maera."

Callisto looked at the dolls.

"And what are their names?" she asked.

Ariadne was in the kitchen, preparing lunch, when one of the children came to her.

"Mom."

"What is it, Timon?"

"Come, you have to see something."

Ariadne followed the boy to the door into the main room and immediately noticed Callisto, playing with Aegle and Maera. She was surprised at first, but then she smiled, she was glad to see the other side of Callisto. She caressed Timon and returned to the kitchen.

When it was time for lunch, Aegle and Maera looked at Callisto questioningly, but Callisto merely gave them the doll and got up.

"What did you want with the chakram?" she asked Aegle, noticing the chakram among her belongings.

"With what?" Aegle asked, afraid that she had done something which might have angered Callisto.

"My chakram."

"What's that?" Aegle asked, not recognizing the word.

"That circular thingy," Callisto said and pointed at the weapon.

Aegle looked and when she realized what Callisto meant, she took a step back, afraid that Callisto might hurt her again.

"Well?" Callisto demanded.

"I just wanted to put on top of the Solstice tree as an ornament," Aegle quickly explained, not wanting to anger Callisto.

Callisto looked at the tree and then at the chakram. She considered for a moment and then got the chakram and threw it at the top of the tree.

"Like this?" she asked the surprised Aegle, who nodded.

Callisto glanced at the chakram and then went to the table, ignoring the children's surprised looks.

When she went to bed in the evening, Ariadne came to her.

"Tomorrow is Solstice Eve and the children will be up longer."

"Why?" Callisto asked.

"Because it's Solstice Eve and we will celebrate."

"Whatever," Callisto said and turned away.

The next evening, after a holiday dinner, Callisto retreated to the barn, not feeling very festive.

After making sure all children were okay, Ariadne went to Callisto. She found her sitting in the barn, wrapped in a blanket, and she sat beside her.

"Why don't you join us?" she asked.

Callisto slowly looked at her. The look in Ariadne's eyes was so sincere and innocent, sort of like Gabrielle's, and it made her sick.

"And celebrate what, exactly?" she asked.

"Solstice. Life," Ariadne said, confused, and Callisto burst into laughter.

"Life, hmm?" she asked. "I don't think so," she said and looked away.

Ariadne thought for a moment.

"What happened to you?" she then asked.

Callisto looked at her.

"Xena happened," she said, her look serious.

"And after Xena?"

Callisto got angry.

"None of your business," she said and looked away.

Ariadne hesitated for a few moments and then decided to take a risk and press on.

"Look, Callisto, I don't know you long, but I know that you are alone and hurt. I want to help you, but I need to know more about you."

Callisto slowly turned her head and gave Ariadne a long look.

"And just why would you want to help me, hmm?" she asked and Ariadne blushed.

"I... I..." she stammered.

Callisto grinned.

"You aren't in love with me, are you?"

Ariadne blushed even deeper.

"I..."

"Oh, I noticed your looks."

Ariadne gulped.

"So?" she asked defensively.

"So why do you really want to help me, hmm? Perhaps because you hope I'll stay with you if you succeed?"

Ariadne blushed again and tried to pull herself together.

"I know you won't stay," she then said and Callisto raised her eyebrows, surprised. "But I want you to be happy and that's why I want to help you," Ariadne confessed.

They stared at each other for a while.

"And why would you want me to be happy? Hmm?"

Ariadne blushed. She thought for a moment and then decided.

"Like you said, I'm in love with you," she confessed.

Callisto stared at her, surprised. She had expected some sort of lame excuse, not a confession of love. She never cared much about love nor did she think about it. And when she did, it was in terms of man and woman relationship, not woman and woman relationship. She looked away, considering whether she should just kill Ariadne and be over with it.

After a few moments, she looked back at Ariadne, who was waiting patiently.

"Okay," she decided, "I'll tell you."

And she did.

When she finished, she looked at Ariadne and saw that her eyes were wet and that she was obviously holding back the tears.

"I'm sorry," Ariadne said.

Callisto was surprised, she had expected a lecture.

"What, no lecture?" she asked sarcastically.

Ariadne shook her head.

"I'm sorry about what you had to go through," she said and paused. "If the circumstances were different, I could have become like you."

Callisto was surprised, not many people would admit that.

Ariadne took a deep breath to calm down and then smiled.

"Why don't you come in, it's cold out here," she said.

"No."

"You don't have to celebrate, you can just sit there, it's warmer than here."

"No."

Ariadne sighed.

"You don't have to punish yourself," she said, "it wasn't your fault."

Callisto looked at her, confused.

"What are you talking about?" she asked.

"It wasn't your fault your family died."

Callisto frowned as she stared at Ariadne, surprised. Was she really punishing herself?

"Explain," she said.

"You feel guilty because you survived and your family didn't. There was nothing you could have done, you were just a child. It wasn't your fault, stop blaming herself," She paused. "I may not know your pain, but I know you deserve to be happy."

Callisto stared at her for a few moments.

"So you think you know me better than I know myself?" she asked, angry.

"No. You also know all this, but you don't want to admit it to yourself. And if you didn't think I was telling the truth, we wouldn't be having this conversation."

Callisto bit her teeth and looked away. Ariadne hesitated for a moment and then got up.

"Come in soon, no matter what you decide," she said and left.

Callisto turned her head and stared after her until she was gone. Then she returned to thinking.

Deep down she knew that Ariadne was right about everything and, in a way, it scared her that someone knew her so intimately. She didn't know whether to feel lucky that that someone loved her or not. But that wasn't so important at the moment as the fact that for the first time she was forced to consciously accept the fact that she was punishing herself. She couldn't understand why she would punish herself at all, after all, there was nothing she could have done. Yet she still felt guilty that she hadn't died along with her family, like she should have.

Ariadne was reading the children a story when Callisto returned. She smiled at her and kept reading. When she was done, she told the children to sing a song and then went to Callisto, who was sitting at the table.

"There's some tea to warm you up," she said, smiling, and pointed at the jug.

Callisto glanced at the jug.

"When will you stop celebrating?" she asked.

"As soon as they finish the song."

"Good."

Ariadne smiled and returned to the children.

When the children were done, Ariadne tucked them in and then went to bed herself.

Callisto was already in the bed and she observed Ariadne.

"Aren't you curious about what I decided?" she asked when Ariadne lay down.

Ariadne looked at her.

"Nothing has changed," she said.

Callisto was surprised.

"So now you can read minds?" she asked sarcastically.

Ariadne smiled sadly.

"No. If you had decided to change something, you would have told me."

"Oh, really?"

Ariadne smiled.

"Yes," she said. "I wish you would find happiness some day, even if it is not here, with me. Good night, Callisto."

Ariadne smiled briefly and then turned away. Callisto stared at her back for a few moments before turning away herself, feeling very strange.

Callisto didn't have the nightmare at night and she woke up fresh. But after several hours of idling, she was starting to get depressed. Ariadne noticed that and she approached her.

"Do you want to have something to do?" she asked.

Callisto looked at her.

"Yes," she said a few moments later.

"You can help me do my chores," Ariadne suggested.

Callisto considered. She wasn't exactly fond of doing house work, but it was better than doing nothing and going insane.

"Fine," she said and got up.

During the next few days, Callisto helped Ariadne around the house and the children became less afraid of her. Then one day Melanipus approached her when she was making a brief pause during her practice.

"What?" she asked him.

Melanipus hesitated.

"Emm, can you teach me how to fight with a sword?" he then asked.

Callisto cocked her head and observed him for a moment. Then she sheathed her sword and approached him.

"And why would you want to fight, hmm?" she asked.

"I want to be a warrior and help people."

"Oh, really? Hmm, how noble." She made a circle around him, making him feel very afraid. "But you know you'll have to kill people, don't you?"

Melanipus gulped.

"Not if I'm good enough," he said boldly.

Callisto laughed.

"Oh, really? I'm good enough, but I still kill people." She cocked her head. "But then I like killing people." She grinned when she saw the boy pale. "Tell me, little boy, can you kill?" she asked and looked him straight in the eyes.

"I..." Melanipus started, uncertain, but stopped when Callisto pulled her dagger.

Callisto grinned and offered him the dagger.

"Here, take it."

Melanipus gulped, hesitating, and then slowly reached for the dagger.

"Now kill me," Callisto said and Melanipus paled, surprised.

"I..."

"I said, kill me," Callisto repeated.

Melanipus hesitated and Callisto grabbed his arm.

"Callisto!" Ariadne said when she came to the barn after one of the children had told her what was going on. "Stop it."

But Callisto ignored her. She centered the dagger's point right above her heart.

"All you have to do is push," she said. "One single thrust."

Melanipus started to tremble.

"Callisto, stop it!" Ariadne demanded, but was afraid to go too close to Callisto, afraid of what she might do.

Callisto still ignored her.

"Go on, it doesn't take that much."

Melanipus dropped the dagger and tried to free his arm.

"Oh," Callisto said, disappointed, and let him go, "not much of a warrior, are you?"

Melanipus immediately ran to Ariadne and she hugged him. Callisto grinned as Ariadne took the children back in. When they were gone, she returned to practice, but was interrupted when Ariadne returned a minute later.

"Why did you scare him like that?" Ariadne demanded.

Callisto stopped and looked at her.

"I thought you'd appreciate that," she said. "Now he'll think twice before becoming a warrior."

Ariadne considered the answer and she realized that Callisto was right.

"You're right," she admitted. "Thank you."

Callisto was surprised by Ariadne's agreement, but she said nothing.

"But he could have accidentally killed you," Ariadne said after a pause.

Callisto shrugged.

"Then I'd be dead."

Ariadne stared at her for a while, trying to grasp the depth of Callisto's pain.

"Is life really so bad that you can't find happiness?" she asked.

"Yes," Callisto said and ended the discussion by returning to her practice.

Ariadne stared at her for a few moments and then left, sad.

Several more days passed and the winter was still as severe as when Callisto arrived to the orphanage. The children avoided her, but that didn't make Callisto feel any better, the feeling of being trapped and helpless lingered on. She tried to find someone she could yell at, but nobody volunteered. Helping Ariadne with her chores helped relieve some of the stress, but soon she needed to do something or go insane.

She restrained herself and stopped helping Ariadne first and then she went to the barn. She stopped in the center and stood still for a few moments, clenching her fists. Then she screamed as loud as she could.

Ariadne heard the scream and immediately went to see what was going on, warning the children to stay behind. When she got to the barn, she only saw Callisto, standing still, clenching her fists.

"Are you all right?" she asked, not seeing the reason for the scream.

"Yes," Callisto said without turning.

Ariadne hesitated.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," Callisto said, annoyed. "Leave."

"But..."

"Leave!"

Ariadne hesitated for a moment and then left, confused.

Callisto closed her eyes and tried to calm down.

Suddenly laughter interrupted her. She opened her eyes and was annoyed to see it was Ares. She glared at him.

"It's driving you insane, isn't it?" Ares teased.

"What do you want?" Callisto asked, annoyed.

"I came here to help you," Ares explained.

Callisto gave him the yeah-right look.

"Really," Ares insisted. "I can get you out of here, if you want."

"And then what?" Callisto asked, not buying the whole altruistic stuff.

"Nothing," Ares said.

Callisto grinned.

"This wouldn't happen to have something to do with Xena, would it?" she asked.

Ares grinned back.

"Well, now that you mention it, I do know where Xena is. I can take you to her."

"Is that so, hmm?"

"Don't go, Callisto," said a new voice.

Callisto turned and saw that it was Ariadne. Ares rolled his eyes, annoyed.

"Don't go, Callisto," Ariadne continued, "you'll only get hurt."

Callisto stared at her, surprised.

Ares approached Ariadne and looked her straight in the eyes.

"What have we here? Another do-gooder like Gabrielle?" He paused. "I don't like Gabrielle."

He flicked his finger and Ariadne was thrown across the barn. She hit a wall and Callisto was surprised when she saw Ariadne was still standing.

"Callisto... don't..." Ariadne said and collapsed.

Callisto then saw why Ariadne hadn't immediately collapsed, she had hit a nail and it held her up until she slid off. She stared at the wounded Ariadne, ignoring Ares. For the first time someone cared for her and was willing to protect her at the cost of her own life. Callisto found it ironic that someone wanted to protect her when everybody else wanted to kill her. And not only that, Ariadne wanted to protect her because of her herself, not for some other reason, like killing Xena. She knew that Ariadne had accepted the fact that she would leave eventually. As for Gabrielle, Callisto agreed with Ares, Ariadne was a lot like Gabrielle.

Suddenly she found herself walking toward Ariadne. She stopped for a moment, frowning, and then continued, deciding to help Ariadne and give herself a chance to think things over. She picked up Ariadne and went to the door.

"I'll let you know if I need you," she told Ares and left.

Ares threw up his hands, growling, and disappeared.

The children immediately surrounded them when Callisto came into the main room, carrying Ariadne.

"Beat it," Callisto ordered and the children made way.

Callisto laid Ariadne on her mattress and took off her shirt. She examined the wound and saw that it was pretty severe. She looked at the children.

"You," she told Melanipus, "get me some water." She turned to Timandra. "Get me the herbs and some cloths."

Both children immediately left, not so much out of fear of Callisto as out of concern for Ariadne, and quickly returned. Callisto then cleaned Ariadne's wound, put on the herbs and dressed it. When she was done, she had the children clean up the mess while she sat and stared at Ariadne. She had so much to think about and she decided to take her time.

After a while she noticed that the children obviously wanted something but were afraid to disturb her. She turned her head and looked at Timandra.

"What?" she asked.

Timandra gulped.

"Ah, isn't it time to start making lunch?" the girl asked.

Callisto raised her eyebrows.

"So?" she asked.

The girl hesitated.

"Won't you make lunch for us? Please?"

Callisto stared at her for a few moments.

"Can't you cook?"

Timandra shook her head.

"Only some simple things for breakfast or dinner."

"And what makes you think I can cook?"

Timandra thought, confused.

"You helped Mom," she finally said.

"I see." Callisto considered for a few moments and then decided that she could use a little break from thinking. "Okay," she said and got up.

"Eh..." Timandra said and Callisto gave her a sharp look.

"What?"

"Ah, Aegle needs a bandage change."

Callisto glanced at the little girl she had wounded.

"Well, you know what I need," she said, glancing at Melanipus and Timandra, "bring it to the kitchen." Then she looked at Aegle. "Come," she said.

Aegle followed her to the kitchen. Callisto sat on a chair and started to remove the bandage. Meanwhile Melanipus and Timandra brought the required stuff.

"Stay and learn," Callisto told them and then started to redress the hand. When she was done, she looked at Timandra. "You will help me prepare lunch," she told her and then looked at Melanipus. "You take away this stuff."

Ariadne woke up two days later.

"About time," Callisto told her.

Ariadne smiled.

"You didn't go," she said.

Callisto quietly stared at her for a few moments.

"What did you mean when you said I would get hurt?" she asked.

Ariadne sighed and then smiled briefly.

"Well, I know how you feel about Xena and I know that if you had taken Ares' offer, he might have convinced you to go after Xena. If you met Xena again, you would want to hurt her again and you would start punishing yourself again. I don't want that, I want you to be happy."

Callisto stared at her, feeling strange. In the past, everything was clear, her mission in life was to make Xena suffer. But now, there was someone who claimed she cared for her and it brought out conflicting emotions. Sure, Theodorus had cared for her, sort of, but he was a butcher, like she was. What confused her even more was the fact that Ariadne didn't demand anything from her and was even prepared to let her go, as long as it made her happy. She frowned. It had been a long time since someone wanted her to be happy.

"Thank you for saving my life and for taking care of the children," Ariadne interrupted Callisto's reverie.

Callisto gave her a surprised look. She wasn't used to people thanking her and it made her feel even stranger that someone actually appreciated something she did, beside killing.

"Are you hungry?" she then asked.

"Yes," Ariadne said, a bit surprised.

"I'll get you some soup," Callisto said and quickly left.

She stopped at the door and looked back. The children had already surrounded Ariadne and were talking to her. She doubted anyone would ever be glad to see her survive. Except Ariadne. She turned away and continued to the kitchen.

As she prepared the soup, Callisto thought about her life and her family. She missed them, badly. They were the only ones that ever cared for her and now that she had accepted the fact that Ariadne also cared for her, it brought back hope, but also fear that she might lose Ariadne. She frowned, confused. Did she actually care about Ariadne? She took a deep breath, frustrated. She didn't need more pain.

Her reverie was interrupted by the soup, which had reached boiling point. She put some on the plate and took it to Ariadne. The children quickly moved aside, afraid to anger Callisto. Callisto put the plate on the floor, beside the mattress, and helped Ariadne sit.

"Thank you," Ariadne said and then hesitated for a moment. "Could you hold the plate, please? My shoulder still hurts."

Callisto stared at her for a few moments, then picked up the plate and held it for her. Ariadne smiled and slowly started to eat. Callisto quietly observed her and occasionally threw a glance at the children.

"Thank you," Ariadne said with a smile when she was finished.

Callisto stared at her for a few moments and then got up and left. She cleaned up the dishes and then went to the barn. There, she sat on the hay and thought.

She found it strangely likable, the way Ariadne appreciated her. And the way she was being nice to her, not out of fear, but because she liked her and cared for her, it reminded her of home. She bit her teeth angrily as she remembered her family and Xena. She wanted Xena to suffer. Then she frowned, surprised and confused, as she thought about what would happen if she managed to hurt Xena the same way she had hurt her, how she would feel. Never before had she thought about that and it made her feel strange as she suddenly had a bad feeling about it.

She took a deep breath and tried to imagine. She pictured Xena, defeated and broken, not physically but mentally, and then she pictured herself, standing victoriously over her. She gulped as she realized that it would be over. She realized that she would feel nothing, not even pain, just... emptiness.

She sat still for a while, letting the reality sink in. She finally took a deep breath, trying to push away the tension that suddenly started to come over her. She realized that she was afraid of not feeling anything and that she desperately needed an alternative. She suddenly realized that she already had an alternative, to stay with Ariadne and her children and become a part of their family. She shuddered at the thought as she remembered her family's end, she didn't want to lose another family.

She sat for a while, lost as to what to do. Finally, she decided to give Ariadne a chance and stay with her, not as her lover but as her sister. The winter was far from over and she would have plenty time to change her mind if the fear of losing another family became too strong. The only problem was, she realized with a frown, that she would have to change her attitude and start acting nice. She sighed, and decided to try. After all, she had nothing to lose, yet, and much to gain. She decided, however, not to tell Ariadne about her decision, at least not until she had firmly made up her mind.

She took a deep breath and got up. She hesitated for a few moments and then returned into the house.

When she reentered the main room, Ariadne smiled at her. Callisto hesitated for a moment and then smiled back. She noticed Ariadne's surprise and how her smile became even bigger. She quickly retreated to the kitchen, it was way past time to start preparing lunch. Timandra came after her.

"I have already prepared as much as I could," she said, standing at a safe distance.

Callisto looked at her and stared at her for a few moments.

"Thank you," she then said and noticed that Timandra was surprised and confused by that.

"Ah, do you need help?" Timandra asked after a few moments of hesitation.

"Yes."

Timandra slowly approached and Callisto showed her what to do. As she did that, she realized that she would have to be a mother to Ariadne's children. She sighed, she missed her own mother. Well, at least she would have a sister and ten children if she decided to stay, she thought and shuddered at the thought of losing them.

"Are you okay?" Timandra asked shyly.

Callisto gave her a sharp look, but when she saw genuine concern in her eyes and the fear, she smiled and sighed.

"No, I'm not."

Timandra hesitated for a few moments.

"Is there anything I can do?" she then asked, encouraged by the smile.

Callisto was surprised by the offer.

"No," she said and shook her head. "Just be yourself."

Timandra didn't understand, but she nodded. Callisto smiled at that. Well, perhaps she would stay after all.

The End