DISCLAIMER AND AUTHOR'S NOTE: All Buffy The Vampire Slayer stuff belongs to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and Warner Brothers. No copyright infringement was intended in the writing of this fiction. All other characters that appear belong to me. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies may be made for private use only and must include this copyright notice and disclaimer. There is some subtext in this story. If this kind of stuff is not legal where you live, if you're under 18 or if you don't like the notion of two women being in love, then you should find something else to read. A snippet.

The End, The New Beginning
By Kristjan Brezovnik

It was a cloudy night when Faith arrived to Sunnydale. Just being there made her feel strange, afraid. And as she approached Buffy's grave, the feeling of unease increased. She hadn't seen her sister Slayer since the night she turned herself in and now it was too late. For everything, to tell her she was sorry, to tell her she…

She shook her head and pushed the thought away. She sighed and wiped away the stray tear that slid down her cheek. And then she saw it, the headstone. She gulped and slowed down her approach until she reached the grave. She read the words and she had to agree with them, even though she found the last part lame yet typically Scooby Gang.

She hesitated for a few moments and then sat on her knees. She quietly stared at the grave for a while, until her eyes started to get wet. Then she wiped them and reached for her bag. She took out a package and unwrapped it. Inside it was a single red rose. She took it out and laid it on the grave.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm so sorry." She glanced at the sky. "I don't know if you can hear me, I hope you can." She paused for a moment and then looked up again. "You were my first real friend, the first…" She hesitated for a few moments and then took a deep breath, "the first person I fell in love with," she finished the sentence quietly. "I never meant to hurt you, I just wanted to be near you." She sighed. "I'm sorry I wasn't there to help you, we would've kicked that bitch's ass." She smiled a bit and sniffed. "Anyway, I promise I'll protect Dawn for you. And even your friends, whether they like it or not." Tears came into her eyes and she sobbed for a few moments. "I just wish I could've told you how much you meant to me, and that you wanted to help me even though I screwed you over."

She bowed her head and cried for a few minutes, until she suddenly felt that she wasn't alone. She quickly turned around, ready to fight, but she dropped her jaw when she saw who it was.

"Buffy," she whispered, shocked. Then she realized that it was the robot she was told about. "Shit, you look just like her," she said and slowly got up.

"What are you doing here?" Buffy asked.

"Wow, you even sound like her." She sighed and glanced at the grave. "Just came to tell her some things I couldn't tell her while she was still alive."

"What things?"

Faith shook her head.

"It doesn't matter anymore."

"You're crying," Buffy observed.

"Yeah," Faith said and sniffed, wiping her eyes.

"Why?"

Faith smiled a bit at Buffy's inquisitiveness.

"Because I miss her."

"But you were enemies."

"Yeah," Faith quietly said.

"Then why do you miss her?"

Faith took a deep breath and looked down.

"She was my first real friend," she said quietly and looked at the grave. "She was the first person I fell in love with."

Buffy's eyes went wide with surprised.

"You loved her?"

Faith sighed and looked at her.

"Yeah. And I blew it, just like I blew it with everything else. And now she's dead because of me."

Buffy frowned, puzzled.

"But you weren't even here."

"Exactly."

"But there was nothing you could've done."

Faith smiled a bit.

"I could've watched her back and made sure Dawn wasn't hurt." She sighed again. "That's another reason I came back here."

"To make sure Dawn doesn't get hurt?" Buffy asked.

Faith nodded.

"Yeah. Though I hear you've been doing one hell of a job pretending to be her."

"Yes."

Faith hesitated for a moment.

"How is she? Dawn, I mean."

"She is fine. Willow and Tara are taking care of her."

"Oh." She took a deep breath. "Man, that just sucks. And the rest of…" She trailed off as she suddenly got a very distinct feeling. She stared at Buffy, shocked. "Buffy? You… You… But… I mean… You're alive?"

Buffy nodded.

"Yes."

Faith slowly stepped closer and then even more slowly reach out to touch Buffy. Buffy wanted to back off, but when she saw that Faith wasn't trying to hurt her, she let her touch her.

When Faith's finger hit Buffy's skin, she quickly pulled it back and then slowly touched her again, hoping she wasn't imagining it.

"You're alive. Oh my god, you're alive!"

Faith quickly hugged Buffy and Buffy nearly pushed her back before she realized that it was just a hug.

"God, I missed you so much," Faith whispered, holding Buffy in a fierce hug, crying.

She was afraid that if she let go of her, Buffy would suddenly disappear. She didn't want to lose her again.

Buffy hesitated for a moment and then slowly hugged her back.

They stood still for a while and Buffy slowly got used to holding Faith in her arms, even though everything that she'd just found out still puzzled her, including Faith crying. Faith finally realized that she was still holding Buffy and she quickly let go of her.

"Sorry, I just…" she said as she wiped her tears. "Man, I can't believe they sent you back. You sure must've scored a lot of points."

Buffy frowned.

"With who?"

"The Powers, who else?"

"Oh."

Faith frowned.

"It was them, right?" She noticed that Buffy was hesitating. "It wasn't," she guessed. She frowned. "Then how…" Her eyes went wide. "You are alive, right? I mean, you're not a vamp or anything?"

"I'm alive," Buffy confirmed.

"Then how… I mean…"

"Willow and the guys brought me back," Buffy explained.

"What?!" Faith freaked. "I can't believe it! What the fuck were they thinking! Idiots." Then she realized that her ranting might seem a bit odd to Buffy. "Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you're back, but I thought you were sent back, not ripped out of Heaven. Shit."

Buffy's eyes went wide when Faith mentioned Heaven.

"How… How did you know?"

Faith frowned.

"What?"

"That I was in Heaven."

Faith's frown deepened.

"Where else would you go? I mean, you're the best Slayer ever. Sure, you stabbed me, but I'm not holding that against you, I deserved it." Then she frowned again as she remembered what she had been told in LA. "Wait, they thought you went to Hell?" She noticed the look in Buffy's eyes just before Buffy looked down. "Fuck! I can't believe it! how could they think that? I mean, you died in the line of duty."

"They thought that because I died when I was sealing that portal," Buffy explained.

"What? And they thought that because of Angel, right?"

"Yes, I guess."

"Man." She thought for a moment. "Do they know?"

Buffy hesitated for a moment and then shook her head.

"No. And I don't want you to tell them."

Faith shook her head.

"I won't. It's not my secret to tell."

They were quiet for a few moments.

"How come you're out?" Buffy then asked.

Faith shrugged.

"Got released on parole. Good behavior and stuff."

"Oh."

Faith hesitated for a moment.

"I'm sorry about your mom, she deserved better."

Buffy nodded.

"Yeah." She thought for a moment. "What did you come to tell me?"

Faith looked down, nervous.

"I… I…"

Buffy hesitated for a moment and then reached out and gently lifted Faith's chin, making her look at her.

"I want to know, Faith. I want you… I need you to be honest with me. Please?"

Faith stared at Buffy for a few moments, surprised, and then nodded.

"Okay." She hesitated for a moment. "What do you want to know?"

"What you came to tell me."

Faith took a deep breath and looked away.

"I… I came to apologize." She glanced at Buffy, but Buffy didn't interrupt. "For screwing you over and for not being there when you needed me. To tell you how much you meant to me, how much I missed you. And that I'd protect Dawn for you."

Faith stopped and Buffy realized that Faith was finished.

"Didn't you leave something out?" she asked.

Faith gulped and refused to meet Buffy's eyes.

"I don't think that matters anymore, not after what I've done."

"You've changed, Faith, and so have I," Buffy said. She sighed. "I just want to understand, Faith."

Faith looked at her, surprised. Then she sighed.

"There's not really that much to tell," she said and looked away. "Mom was a drunk and I didn't know Dad. The first person I trusted was my Watcher and I let her down. I ran away and I came here because I thought I could escape Kakistos, but he found me. If it hadn't been for you, I'd probably be dead." She sighed, thinking. "And I was so jealous of you, I mean, you had everything, a great mom, a great Watcher and great friends that stood by your side. I really wanted to belong, you know? But I always felt like I was the spare Slayer. And then Angel came back and that Post bitch played me and I didn't trust anyone after that. I wanted to trust you, but I was afraid I'd end up… hurt again. I mean, I know you tried to help me and all, but every time something came up. You and Cordelia were kidnapped for the Homecoming Dance and on Christmas, you had to go save Angel again." She paused for a moment to calm down. Then she took a deep breath before continuing. "And after I killed Finch, everyone thought I was a monster. I know you wanted to help me, but you too gave me that feeling. And I wanted to run away, ignore it. I was so scared. Angel just about started to make sense to me when Wes barged in and messed up." She paused to think. "I'm still not sure why I went to the Mayor. Either because I wanted to convince you that I wasn't a bad girl or to become the bad girl you thought I was." She shook her head. "Anyway, the Mayor surprised me. He treated me like family, you know? I mean, I knew he was evil and that he only wanted me because I was a Slayer, but he made it look like that didn't matter, like it was me that mattered, you know?" She sighed. "I was ready to do anything for him, hell, I did anything for him." She thought for a moment. "But in spite of all that, I slowly started to realize that what I was doing was wrong. I felt angry with me and I took it out on you. I felt so bad I wanted you to kill me." She sighed and wiped her eyes, which were getting wet. "After I woke up from coma," she continued, "I was angry, I mean, eight months of my life, wasted. And then I found out that you had a new boy toy and it pissed me off." She sighed. "The Mayor left me a perfect gift. I stole your body and I finally had everything I envied you." She paused for a moment. "But being a hero kinda grew on me, that's why I went to that church. And when I saw you, I saw me and I was so angry with myself. And then you took it away from me." She gulped. "I went to LA and I kept sinking lower and lower. I knew I was bad, but I didn't have the guts to end it. And then those lawyers offered to erase my past if I killed Angel. I took the job and at first I really wanted to kill him, but then I realized that maybe he could end it for me. But he wouldn't, not even after I tortured Wes." She shuddered and then looked at Buffy again. "And I didn't mean to come between the two of you."

Buffy nodded.

"I know." She sighed and thought. "You know, right at the beginning, I was jealous of you too," she admitted and smiled a bit when Faith raised her eyebrows. "You were so carefree and the guys all listened to your tall stories." She thought for a moment. "I loved spending time with you, but at the same time, I had so much on my mind. I'd just gotten back to school again and I was trying so hard to be normal, you know? Though I admit, we never did try to include you more, but that was because of your attitude, we thought you didn't care." She sighed. "And then Angel came back and I couldn't think about anything but him. And I should've told at least you about him." She thought again for a moment. "I know I should've trusted you more, but your attitude, especially after you killed Flinch… It scared me. I knew you were scared, but the way you handled it, it made me look at you as though you were a monster. And yes, Wes screwed up when he tried to take you back to England." She paused again. "I shouldn't have stabbed you, but I was just so furious with you and I lost it. It wasn't until I stabbed you that I realized what I was doing." She sighed again. "After you woke up, I didn't want us to be enemies anymore, but it was so easy falling into that old routine again and things went downhill again. Don't get me wrong, I still love Angel, only…" She frowned. "I mean, I still care for him a lot, just not… like a lover. And as for Riley, I thought he was just a normal guy and I wanted normal, you know? Only he wasn't as normal as I thought, he worked for a government agency who experimented with demons." She sighed. "Anyway, he left." She thought for a few moments. "I wanted to die, you know? Not just because I had to save Dawn or the world, I felt tired of all this crap." She bit her teeth. "Sometimes I just wanna scream. At the guys, for bringing me back." She shivered. "Sometimes I just hate them," she added quietly.

Faith stared at Buffy, surprised.

"Dawn needs you," she said.

Buffy stared at her for a few moments and then nodded.

"I know. And I need the guys, that's why…"

She trailed off, shaking her head.

"That's why you didn't tell them the truth," Faith finished and Buffy nodded.

Buffy took a deep breath, quietly observing Faith for a few moments, making Faith feel nervous.

"Will you stay?" she finally asked and Faith looked at her, surprised.

"You sure? I mean…"

"I'm sure. I know you've changed." She sighed. "So have I." She hesitated for a moment. "I need you."

Faith stared at Buffy, astonished.

"I'll be there for you, Buffy."

Buffy shook her head.

"No. Don't make any promises just because you feel guilty or anything. If you want to stay and help me, then do so because you want to, not because you feel you have to."

Faith stared at Buffy for a few moments.

"I want to," she then said.

Buffy cocked her head, thinking.

"Do you still love me?"

Faith's eyes went wide for a moment and she gulped. She knew she didn't deserve Buffy, but she didn't want to lie to her either. She sighed.

"Yes," she said quietly and looked away.

Buffy smiled.

"Let's go home now, I need to think."

Faith frowned.

"About?"

"You, me. Us." She sighed. "I want things okay between us, I want to trust you again. and I want you to trust me."

Faith thought for a moment and then nodded.

"Okay," she said and picked up her bag.

Buffy offered her her hand and Faith stared at it for a few moments, startled, then took it.

The End