DISCLAIMER AND AUTHOR'S NOTE: All Angel and Buffy The Vampire Slayer stuff belongs to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and Warner Brothers. No copyright infringement was intended in the writing of this fiction. All other characters that appear belong to me. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies may be made for private use only and must include this copyright notice and disclaimer. There is some subtext in this story. If this kind of stuff is not legal where you live, if you're under 18 or if you don't like the notion of two women being in love, then you should find something else to read. This story is a Buffy/Angel crossover and is set at the end of the Angel episode Sanctuary. It is a companion piece to Who Are We?
Who Am I?
By Kristjan Brezovnik
The helicopter left and Buffy turned around.
"Faith?"
But Faith was nowhere to be seen. Buffy swore and went to the roof door. When she came around the roof windows, she first noticed blood and then Faith, lying on the floor with a nasty shot wound in the head. She stared at her for a few moments, shocked. Then she snapped out of it and checked Faith's pulse. She was still alive, but her pulse was weak. She stared at her for a few moments, considering whether she should let her die or call an ambulance. The sight reminded her of when she had stabbed Faith and the memory wasn't pleasant. She decided to call the ambulance.
After three hours of surgery, Faith was finally taken to her room. Kate immediately went to the surgeon and Angel followed her. Buffy decided to stick close to Faith. Just in case.
"Doctor, how is she?" Kate said.
The woman looked at her.
"Are you her family?"
"Yes," Angel said.
"No," Kate said and glared at Angel. "I'm Detective Lockley of LAPD. I'm in charge of the prisoner."
"I see. Well, I'd say she's one lucky girl. The wound was severe and it caused some swelling. I hope it won't cause any permanent damage. We'll know more when she wakes up."
"And when will that be?"
"I'm hoping sometime tomorrow afternoon. She might suffer amnesia."
Kate rolled her eyes.
"Just great."
"Thank you, Doctor," Angel said.
The Doctor nodded and left.
"Stay away from her, Angel," Kate said, glaring at him.
"She needs help, Kate."
"She's gonna get all the help she needs. In prison."
"Kate…"
"Angel, she's a criminal."
"I've done worse. And besides, she was about to turn herself in and make a statement."
Kate stared at him for a few moment and then sighed.
"Just don't get close to her when I'm not around."
"Okay."
Kate went to the officers, gave them specific instructions and then left.
Angel went to Buffy.
"Buffy?"
Buffy glanced at him.
"How is she?"
"She might have amnesia," Angel said.
"Oh, just great," Buffy said, rolling her eyes. "Does that mean she's not gonna go to jail?"
"I don't know."
"When will she wake up?"
"Maybe tomorrow afternoon."
Buffy stared at Faith for a few moments, who was now tied up to the bed, and then left. Angel hesitated for a moment and then followed her.
When Faith woke up late next afternoon, the first thing that came to mind that she had one hell of a headache. She slowly opened her eyes and frowned. It was dark. She waited for a few moment, but nothing changed. She was confused, because she heard people talking and walking. She tried to move, but she couldn't, she was tied. She panicked. Was she blind? Where was she? She frowned. Who was she?
"Hello? Is there anyone? Help me! Please." She heard a door open. "Hello?" she said, scared. The door closed again. "Don't go! Please."
There was no response and Faith was getting scared. She didn't see, she was tied up, she didn't know where she was and, most importantly, she had no idea who she was. After a couple of minutes the door finally opened.
"Hello?" she asked.
"Hello," came the answer.
"Where am I?"
"In the hospital."
Faith frowned.
"Why?"
"You were shot in the head."
"What?" Faith said, surprised.
A hand touched her face and she jerked.
"Can you see?" the voice asked again.
"No. Why was I shot?"
"I don't know."
Faith thought for a moment, trying to remember.
"Who am I?"
"Your name is Faith Spencer."
"Faith," Faith repeated quietly, hoping it would stir some memories. It didn't. "Do… Do I have… a family?"
"I don't know, but there are two people here who have been waiting to talk to you."
"There are?" Faith said hopefully. "When can I talk… Doctor?"
"Yes?"
"I think I'm starting to see."
"That's good," the Doctor said as she monitored the responses of her irises.
"Yes, I can see, I can see," Faith said excitedly. She tried to touch her eyes, but her restrains stopped her. "I'm tied. Why am I tied?" she asked, scared.
"I think you're a prisoner."
"What?" Faith said, shocked. "What… What did I do?"
"I don't know."
Faith bit her lips, scared. She had done something and she didn't remember. It was a terrifying thought.
"I'll come back later, Faith," the Doctor finally said. "You are regaining your eyesight, which is good. Your memory still worries me, though. I will schedule another scan to see how the swelling of your brain is doing."
"Could you send me someone who could tell me more about me?"
"Detective Lockley has been informed. She should arrive soon."
"Oh."
The Doctor left, leaving Faith alone in the semi darkness with her fear and confusion.
Outside, Buffy and Angel heard Faith's calls and went to the door, but the officers stopped them. One of them informed Kate and then left to get a doctor and the other one kept guard. The Doctor soon came and went in. She closed the door, but Buffy kept close to it and could hear what they were saying. It was disturbing. Faith blind and without her memory? It sounded like a bad joke. Perhaps it was and Faith was only pretending. It was quite possible. But she needed to talk to her in person first.
"Doctor?" Angel said when the Doctor came out.
The Doctor looked at him.
"Are you family?"
"No," Buffy snapped.
"Yes," Angel said, glancing at Buffy. "We're the only one she has."
"I see," the Doctor said and thought for a few moments. "She has lost her eyesight and has amnesia. Fortunately, her eyesight seems to be returning."
"Thank you," Angel said.
The Doctor nodded and left.
"She's faking it," Buffy then said.
"You don't know that," Angel said.
"I know," Buffy said angrily and went back to her seat.
"Angel," Kate said when she arrived and she finished conferring with the Doctor.
"Kate."
"Can we go in now?" Buffy asked.
Kate glanced at her.
"No. I need to talk to her first."
"She has amnesia," Angel said.
"We'll see about that," Kate said. "Wait here."
When the door opened again, Faith saw it was the Doctor.
"Hello, Faith. How is your eyesight?" the Doctor asked as she checked Faith's eyes.
"Fine, Doctor. I can see clearly now."
"Good." The Doctor turned when Kate entered. "Faith, this is Detective Lockley," she introduced her.
Faith gulped when she saw the hostile look in Kate's eyes.
"Hello," she said.
"Angel said you wanted to turn yourself in and make a statement. Is that true?"
Faith glanced at the Doctor and tried to remember, but she couldn't.
"I… I don't remember." She paused for a moment. "Who's Angel?"
"Don't play with me, girl," Kate snapped, and Faith flinched.
"Detective," the Doctor warned her. "She has amnesia."
"Detective," Faith said shyly.
"What?"
"What did I do?"
Kate stared at her for a few moments.
"You beat up a couple of people and started a couple of fights. And you are wanted for questioning in some murder cases."
Faith's eyes went wide.
"Murder?"
"Yes."
Faith gulped.
"Detective, perhaps her… friends, you know, that young man and the girl who are waiting outside, could help her," the Doctor suggested.
Kate considered the idea.
"How long will this amnesia last?"
The Doctor shrugged.
"I don't know. A day, a week, a decade. Maybe till she dies."
Faith gulped at the prospect.
"Isn't there anything you can do?" she asked.
"I can't. Perhaps if your friends tell you more about yourself, it will stimulate your memory."
"I hope so," Faith said, wondering why she had beat up those people and whether she had really killed anyone and why.
"Detective?" the Doctor said.
Kate hesitated for a few moments.
"Fine," she then said and went to the door. "Angel, you two can come in," she said.
Faith nervously awaited the two strangers. First, a handsome young man entered and he smiled. Faith was relieved, finally a friend. Then a petite blonde about her age followed and Faith dropped her jaw, she was absolutely gorgeous. But when she saw her eyes, she gulped. There was hatred there. Probably one of the people she had hurt, Faith thought, although she couldn't understand what the hell she was thinking when she was hurting this girl. She must've been really screwed up.
"Hello, Faith," the man said.
"Hello," Faith said. "Em, are you Angel??"
Angel's smile disappeared. He glanced at the Doctor, who nodded.
"Yes."
"You know who I am?"
"Yes."
"Can you tell me?"
"I'll tell her," the blonde said, causing Angel to look at her.
"Buffy…"
"I know her better than you do, Angel."
Angel hesitated for a moment.
"Okay."
Buffy looked at Kate.
"Can we have some privacy?"
"No," Kate said.
"Then I'm not talking."
"Em, Kate," Angel intervened, "not everything is connected with her… criminal activities. We can tell you more about that later."
"You can tell her while I talk to Faith," Buffy said.
Angel nodded.
"Yes."
Kate thought about it.
"Fine."
She left and Angel followed her.
"I'll leave you two alone," the Doctor said. "Oh, Faith, I've scheduled the scan for eight o'clock."
"Okay."
"Good."
Buffy waited until the Doctor left and then got herself a chair. She stared at Faith for a few moments before she sat down and she saw that she was nervous, even afraid. It surprised her a bit, but then again Faith had amnesia. Well, it was time to take care of that.
"So, you wanna know who you are?" she asked.
Faith gulped and nodded.
"Yes."
"Everything?"
"Yes," Faith said, having a really bad feeling, and seeing the malicious look in Buffy's eyes only increased it.
When Buffy was done, Faith was shocked. She lay still, trembling occasionally, holding the rail to which the cuffs were attached. Her face was wet with tears and she didn't even notice when Buffy had left.
Kate came in a few moments later, but Faith just lay still, staring in front of herself, shocked.
"Buffy?" Angel said when Buffy came out.
"I told her," Buffy said shuddered. "I need to go freshen up," she said.
"Okay," Angel said and went to the door of Faith's room.
When she got to the restroom, Buffy looked in the mirror. She wasn't sure what bothered her more, that the memories still hurt or the look on Faith's face when she was done. She thought Faith had been faking it, but Faith was really shocked, she knew that now, and she felt sorry for being so brutal in telling the truth. Damn, she hated being sorry about Faith. She had been sorry for so long and she got hurt because of it. Why did her life have to be so damn complicated? She splashed cold water in her face a couple of times and then growled, frustrated.
After she calmed down, she returned to the waiting room to find Kate had already gone. Angel told her to go to his place and get some rest, but she refused, she didn't trust Faith. She went to the waiting room instead and commandeered a sofa. Angel stayed for a while, but Cordelia had a vision and he had to leave.
Buffy was awoken in the middle of the night by cops running around busily. She immediately knew it had to do with Faith. She ran to her room, but she was gone, the cuffs broken and covered with Faith's blood. She looked around and saw a cop go down the emergency stairs. She followed him, but when she got to the stairwell, she stopped. Faith was smarter than that. She looked around and noticed a very small blood stain on the stairs which led to the roof. She cursed herself for not seeing through Faith's charade, and ran upstairs.
When she got to the roof, she immediately spotted Faith, who was standing on the edge, staring down.
"Faith!" Buffy called and Faith turned with a start. Buffy approached her and she could see that Faith was crying and trembling slightly. "What do you think you're doing?"
"What does it look like?" Faith said, sobbing, and turned back.
Buffy stopped, staring at her, astonished. Faith was trying to kill herself? She gulped, feeling guilty for telling her the entire truth so ruthlessly.
"Faith, don't," she said.
Faith slowly turned and stared at her for a few moments before speaking.
"I'm a monster," she then said, "I don't deserve to live."
Buffy stared at her, surprised, this was so unlike Faith.
"Wait," Buffy said when Faith started to turn again.
Faith stopped.
"Don't you want me to go to Hell for what I've done? To you, to… others?"
Buffy opened and closed her mouth.
"No," she finally said.
Faith managed to laugh for a moment.
"Don't lie to me. Or yourself. I saw the look in your eyes when you told me about me. You hate me and you want me to suffer. Well, what better place to do it in than Hell? And neither of us will have to worry about me hurting anyone ever again. And besides, if I die, another Slayer will be called and she can do what I couldn't."
Buffy bit her teeth, realizing that Faith was right. Still, Faith didn't remember any of this, which made her innocent. Sort of like Spike. Faith turned back and Buffy went closer. Faith slowly spread her arms and looked at the sky.
"I'm sorry," she said and let herself fall.
When Buffy saw Faith lean forward, she moved as fast as she could. She swung her arm, sweeping Faith from the abyss and back to the safety of the roof.
"No!" Faith screamed and tried to escape from Buffy's grasp. "Let me go!"
"Faith…"
"No! I'm a monster, I don't deserve to live! Let me go! I'm a monster!"
"Faith!" Buffy said and pinned Faith's arms to her body and then wrapped her own legs around Faith's body.
"No! I have to die! I'm a monster! Let me go!" Faith screamed, trying to escape Buffy's grasp. "I'm a monster! I'm a monster! I'm a monster!" She sobbed. "I'm a monster," she said and started to cry. "A monster," she whispered. "Monster."
She cried and Buffy just held her for a while, not knowing whether Faith would try to jump again if she let go of her. She finally slowly released Faith's arms and Faith cuddled up to her. Buffy was surprised and for a moment she thought Faith would attack her, but Faith continued to cry. Buffy hesitated for a moment and then hugged her. For some reason she wanted to comfort her and it confused her. Why did this innocent Faith make her care for her again. And why did she give her another chance when she knew that she would only get hurt again once Faith regained her memory?
When Faith finally stopped crying and realized she was in Buffy's arms, she quickly backed off.
"I'm sorry," she said, avoiding Buffy's eyes. "I'm so sorry."
"It's okay," Buffy said.
"It's not okay!" Faith said and wiped her tears. "Why did you stop me?"
Buffy hesitated for a moment, not quite sure what the answer was. She sighed.
"I don't know. I'm a Slayer, it's my job to save lives."
"Then you should've let me die."
"Faith…"
"No. Every choice I've made was wrong and people got hurt because of it and I'm afraid that if I don't end it now, more people would get hurt. I don't want that. I want to do at least one thing right, something that would benefit the world. When I die, another Slayer will be called and she can help you fight evil."
"The new Slayer will probably be controlled by the Council and it will take time before she becomes as experienced as you."
Faith laughed.
"Experienced? I'm a killer, a monster. I should…"
She trailed off as she remembered what Buffy had told her and that memory caused extreme disgust. She turned away and vomited.
Buffy stared at Faith with mixed emotions. She was so vulnerable now and her heart ached for her. She was surprised that she still cared about Faith, after everything Faith had done to her. And others. She sighed at the memories. Still, Faith now had a better chance of… She wasn't sure what. Redeeming herself perhaps?
When Faith stopped vomiting, she slowly got up and approached the edge again.
"Faith, don't," Buffy said and put her hand on Faith's shoulder. She sighed. "Look, I haven't told you everything."
Faith turned around.
"There's more?" she asked, having a very bad feeling.
"Yes. I don't know exactly what had happened after you tried to kill Angel, but Angel said that you wanted to make up for what you've done and I heard that cop mention that you apparently wanted to turn yourself in."
Faith stared at her for a few moments, thinking.
"So?"
"So there's still hope for you. I think it will be a bit easier for you now to turn over a new leaf."
Faith thought about it.
"But what if I remember again?"
"Then you'll also remember what you have done while you didn't remember and you would see that you're not a monster."
Faith stared at her for a few moments.
"Why do you still care?" she then asked. "I hurt you the most."
Buffy sighed.
"Before those Council guys started shooting, we had a short conversation and you said some things that made me think. I'm not saying I completely understand why you've done the things you've done, but I understand better. And I keep wondering if there was anything I could've done to help you." She thought for a moment. "I… I cared about you, a lot. I didn't think I would ever allow myself to care about you again, but I do. And I want to help you. If you'll let me," she said and offered Faith her hand.
Faith stared at her and at the hand for a while, hesitating, and then took it. Buffy smiled.
"How about we go back to your room, the cops are going wild."
Faith gulped.
"I'm scared."
"I know. But I'll be around. And I'll talk to that cop and tell Angel to tell you what happened after you tried to kill him."
Faith sobbed for a couple of moments and then nodded.
"Thank you," she whispered.
Buffy nodded and led Faith back inside.
After Faith was lying in bed, Buffy went outside and looked for a cop.
"Excuse me," she said when she found one.
"Not now, Miss," the cop said.
"I know where the prisoner is."
The cop looked at her, surprised.
"You do?" he asked suspiciously.
"Yes. She's in her room."
The cop glared at her.
"That's not funny. Now why don't you…"
"Go take a look, if you don't believe me," Buffy interrupted him.
The cop considered the idea and then decided to look. Better he wasted a few moments than failed to find the prisoner.
When he saw that Faith was indeed inside, her quickly reported his find.
Buffy went inside and sat on a chair beside Faith's bed. Faith, in the meantime, had fallen asleep.
Kate came a few minutes later, followed by Angel.
"What the hell?" Kate said.
"Shhh," Buffy said. "She's asleep."
"Where the hell was she?" Kate asked, trying to keep her voice low and not really caring if she succeeded.
"I'll tell you," Buffy said and got up. "Outside."
Kate hesitated for a moment and then followed Buffy out, leaving the door open so she could keep an eye on Faith.
"So?" she asked when they were outside.
"She wanted to kill herself," Buffy said.
Kate blinked, surprised.
"What?"
"She wanted to jump off the roof. I barely saved her."
"Why?" Kate asked, puzzled.
Buffy sighed.
"I told her what I knew about her and it made her sick. She thinks she's a monster and that she doesn't deserve to live. I managed to convince her that she's not a lost case and that she still has a chance to redeem herself. She's not gonna run away again."
Kate thought about it.
"I'll double the guards," she then said. "If she tries to escape again, they'll have orders to shoot her."
"Kate…" Angel said, but Kate silenced him with a glare.
"I've had enough trouble already," she said.
"Can we stay here?" Buffy asked. "If she has company, she won't think about running away again."
Kate thought about it.
"Fine," she said and looked at Angel. "But I hold you personally responsible."
Angel nodded, and Kate went to the cops guarding the room to give them instructions.
"Is she always such a bitch?" Buffy asked when Kate was gone.
"Normally not. Vampires killed her father and she knows I'm a vampire."
"Oh. Anyway, I think it would be good if you told Faith what happened after she tried to kill you."
Angel nodded.
"I'll tell her in the morning."
"Okay."
Buffy went to Faith's room. The guards stared at her curiously as she passed them, but she ignored them. She closed the door and sat on the chair. Then she observed the sleeping Faith.
When Faith woke up in the morning, she was surprised when she saw Buffy had spent the night. She let her sleep and used the opportunity to observe her. She was truly gorgeous and she couldn't understand how she could've been so stupid and hurt her.
Buffy woke up when the Doctor came in, followed by Angel, and Faith quickly looked away, blushing a bit.
"Good morning, Faith," the Doctor said.
"Good morning."
"How do you feel?"
"Better. I still can't remember anything."
"That's okay, it will probably take time. Let me check your eyes again."
Faith let the Doctor check her eyes.
"Good," she said when she was done. "I've scheduled a few tests and if they turn out alright, you will be released today."
Faith gulped, knowing that that meant she would go to jail.
"Do you know when that Detective will get here?" Buffy asked.
"I think she's been informed."
"Oh." Buffy looked at Angel. "I think you should tell her the rest now."
Angel nodded.
"I also brought some clothes," he said and put the package on the bed. "Cordelia gave them."
"I will come back later, Faith," the Doctor said and left.
"I'll wait outside," Buffy said.
"Okay," Faith said.
Angel noticed how Faith's eyes followed Buffy until she was gone.
"You like her?" he asked.
"What?" Faith said, startled, and blushed.
"Do you like her?"
Faith blushed even more.
"I… I… Em…" She gulped. "Yes," she said, avoiding Angel's eyes.
Angel thought about it, amused. It surprised him that the thought of Buffy and Faith together bothered him less than the thought of Buffy and Riley. He shook his head.
"Why don't I tell you about what happened after you tried to kill me."
Faith looked up and gulped.
"Okay," she said quietly.
When Angel was done, Faith was relieved that it wasn't as horrible as she had expected. In fact, it was a bit encouraging, at least she had made the first step toward redemption. Perhaps Buffy was right and there was still hope for her.
"Do you think there's still hope for me?" she asked after a while.
"Yes," Angel said.
Faith took a deep breath.
"Why does Buffy still care about me?" she asked after a few moments of thinking. "I mean, before I got shot, she was ready to kill me."
"I don't know," Angel said. He hesitated for a moment. "I think she likes you."
"What?" Faith said, surprised, and blushed. "I mean, I hurt her, I stole her body, I slept with her boyfriend, how can she love me? I don't deserve her and she deserves someone better." She froze when she realized what she had said. "I mean, care about me," she corrected herself, blushing furiously, and looked away.
Angel raised an eyebrow, surprised.
"Look, Kate will be here soon," he changed the subject. "Let me tell you what I told her, so you'll know what to say."
"I'll confess."
"Yes, but not everything. They only have evidence for the fights, not the murders, and that's the only thing they can charge you with. Simply say you don't remember, which is true."
"But Buffy told me what…"
"I know, but Buffy needs you outside, not in prison."
Faith bit her teeth.
"Does Buffy know?"
"Not yet."
"But won't she…"
"No."
Faith sighed.
"Okay."
Angel was just done telling Faith what he had told Kate when Kate arrived.
"Kate," he said and got up.
"Angel," Kate said and looked at Faith. "Remember more?"
Faith shook her head, nervous.
"No."
Kate sighed and ran her hand through her hair.
"This is such a mess."
"Detective," Faith said shyly.
"What?"
"What will happen to me?"
Kate stared at Faith for a few moments.
"Well, as far as I know the only thing that we have witnesses for are the fights you caused here in LA. You'll probably do some time for that."
Faith gulped.
"Okay."
"I'll be outside," Angel said when he saw that Kate won't freak out or anything.
"Okay," Faith said, not looking forward to being alone with Kate.
"Did you tell her?" Buffy asked when Angel came out.
"Yes. And I told her what I told Kate."
"What?" Buffy asked when she saw his smirk.
"She likes you. A lot."
"What?" Buffy said, surprised.
"I think she's in love with you."
Buffy's mouth opened and closed and she blushed.
"How do you know?"
Angel smirked.
"She asked why you still care about her and I said you like her. Then she said started ranting about how she hurt you and she slipped."
"Oh," Buffy said, blushing.
Angel smiled.
"Why don't I tell you what I told her?" he said.
Buffy quickly nodded.
"Yes."
Three years later.
Faith suddenly woke up in shock and sat, all sweaty. She was confused for a few moments, but then she remembered. All of it. The memories came flowing back to her like a tsunami and it was overwhelming, not to mention sickening. How could she have done all those things? How could she have hurt Buffy? And how could Buffy still care about her? She frowned. Buffy. She would probably hurt Buffy again now that she remembered. She didn't want to. She felt sick.
She scrambled out of bed, feeling the need to vomit.
Buffy woke up when Faith fell from the bed.
"Faith?" she said, worried, when she saw her staggering out of the room.
Faith didn't respond and Buffy got even more worried. She got up and followed Faith.
She found her in the bathroom, vomiting into the toilet, sobbing violently.
"Faith?" she said, worried, and kneeled beside Faith, putting her hand on Faith's shoulder.
Faith jerked violently and backed off.
"Stay away from me," she said between sobs.
"Faith, what's wrong?" Buffy asked, seriously worried.
"I… I remembered," Faith said quietly, avoiding Buffy's eyes. "Everything."
"Oh God," Buffy said and wanted to approach Faith, but Faith backed off again.
"Stay away," Faith said, sobbing.
"Faith…"
"Please, I don't want to hurt you."
"You won't," Buffy said and continued to approach her.
"Buffy…" Faith pleaded, scared, but Buffy continued and finally hugged her.
"Shh, it's alright, I'm here," Buffy said and caressed her.
Faith started to cry, but she forced herself to stop and she pushed Buffy away.
"No, this is not right," she said. "I shouldn't be here. I'm a monster." She sobbed and pulled her knees up. "A monster," she whispered.
"Faith," Buffy said and reached toward her.
Faith looked at her and chuckled.
"Isn't it ironic, B? Every time you fuck someone for the first time, something terrible happens to them. First Angel lost his soul and now I regained my memory." She buried her face in her hands. "God," she said, sobbing. "I'm sorry."
Buffy stared at her for a few moments, surprised. What Faith had said hurt, even if it happened to be true. But just because Faith had regained her memory, that didn't mean that she had to become bad again and Buffy decided to make sure that didn't happen, not only for her own sake, but for Faith's sake as well. She hugged her again.
"I love you, Faith," she said when Faith tried to push her away. "I know what you have done and I still gave you another chance. Now remember what you have done when you didn't have your memory. You've done a lot of good, Faith, and you can continue to do so. I know it hurts to remember the past, but you know I'll be there for you and we'll get through it together. If you'll let me be with you." She let go of Faith and raised her chin, forcing Faith to look at her. She smiled and caressed her. "Please stay."
Faith stared at her, trying to stop sobbing.
"How can you love me?" she finally asked.
Buffy sighed.
"Faith, you asked me that before and you'll probably ask me again. I love you. In spite of what you have done, you're still the best thing that has happened to me." She hesitated for a moment. "Even better than Angel. He hurt me too, but we're still good friends." She smiled. "I know you love me. Please don't let the bad memories take that away from you. Remember how it was while you didn't remember. Remember how you felt loved. I don't love you any less now than I did before, but it's gonna take a lot more now if we're to conquer your guilt." Please don't leave me, Faith."
Faith stared at Buffy, surprised.
"I… I… I'm scared," she finally confessed and gulped.
Buffy smiled.
"So am I," she said and offered Faith her hand.
Faith stared at it for a few moments and then took it. Buffy's smile widened and she leaned in for a kiss. Faith's first thought was to back off, but she gathered the courage and let Buffy kiss her. But as soon as Buffy's lips touched hers, she forgot about her pain and fears and kissed back. But then Buffy broke the kiss and Faith looked at her, confused and scared.
"Em, I think you better wash your mouth first," Buffy said, smiling.
Faith's eyes went wide when she remembered that she had vomited not so long ago.
"I'm sorry," she said.
Buffy chuckled.
"Not your fault. Come, I need to wash my mouth as well." She got up and then helped Faith up. "You okay?" she asked and caressed her.
Faith took a deep breath.
"Better than I was five minutes ago."
Buffy smiled.
"Good."
She quickly washed her mouth and then let Faith wash hers. Then they stared at one another for few moments.
"Do you want to talk or shall we go back to bed?"
Faith gulped and thought about it.
"I don't feel like talking right now."
Buffy smiled.
"Then let's go back to bed."
"Are you sure?" Faith asked. "I mean, look what happened when we made love. I mean, it's not your fault, but…"
"I'm sure," Buffy said and offered her her hand.
Faith hesitated for a moment and then took Buffy's hand. Buffy led her out of the bathroom and back to their bedroom.
As the lay side by side, Buffy could virtually feel Faith's fear. She pressed Faith to her body and Faith suddenly cuddled up to her and started to cry. Buffy caressed her.
"Shh, it's okay, you're not alone," she said quietly and then held Faith until she cried herself to sleep.
The End