Katamon 93230
Dating in Hell: Part One

By Shoshana Sullivan,
pop psychologist

                    The Game
        By Shoshana Sullivan         
Dating is brutal. I think the great Kenneth Rogers said it best when he sang "The Gambler": "You gotta know when to hold 'em. Know when to fold. Know when to walk away. Know when to run. You never count your money while you're sittin' at the table ... there'll be time enough for countin' when the dealin's done."
    Dating is a lot like that. Survival it seems is contingent upon one's poker face and ability to bluff. A friend of mine is always telling me that my whole problem is an obvious lack of poker face. I don't know how to play that game. I've always been much better at Go Fish  ... "Let's see ... have you got anyyyyyy ... uh ... commitment phobia?!"
   Whether we like it or not, there will always be a certain level of necessary game playing to achieve our desired objective. Ah, but wouldn't it be great if we could just ... (gasp) ... talk about what we're searching for?! What if we could actually speak about our heart's desire without being labelled the dread name "needy" (eew)? What if ... what if. But as it is we must follow unwritten rules which state that we must not bring up the reason we date ... if you do, you will likely find yourself amidst a dust cloud where your date was standing the moment before. Very Roadrunner-esqe of him (and yes, sometimes her) and you, poor soul, will feel much like Wile E. Coyote with nothing but your Dating for Dummies to guide your way.
   As for me, in the meantime, I am reading up. I've got the Mars and Venus books, pop psychology this, self-help that and, of course, those indispensable Cosmo quizzes. Yep. I feel pretty smart. If I have doubts about a particular guy I just take the "Loser Guys and How to Spot Them" quiz and bingo! Ha ... who knew?
    A while ago a guy broke up with me because he had "asked" the tarot cards if we were going to make it. "They said that this is not good," he informed me. "But they don't even know me," I whined. "That's why I asked them 9 times!" he shrugged.
   Okay. Do not ask me WHY I argued with him, but I did.
  All kidding aside ... one should only consult one's heart,mind and the occasional psychic (just kidding) when choosing a mate. It's a very serious decision ... probably the most important one anyone ever makes. (Well, that and which tattoo to get.)
  

Hey there ...
Have you got something to say? A comment?
Perhaps a question?
If you do, simply click on the dancing monkey below and share your thoughts.

TOP 10 COMEBACKS TO THE AGE-OLD QUESTION: "Why aren't you married yet?"
10. I feel that marriage would take all the spontaneity out of dating.
9. I am married to my career, but we are considering a trial separation.
8. My fiance is awaiting his/her parole.
7. My co-op board doesn't allow spouses.
6. We really want to, but my lover's husband just won't go for it.
5. Just lucky, I guess.
4. Because I just love hearing this question.
3. Why aren't you thin?
2. I guess it just goes to prove  that you can't trust those voodoo doll rituals.
1. You havn't asked yet.

FYI: There's a little island on the coast of Australia where one can find "fairy penguins". I thought penguins were these cute little creatures ... but apparently not. As my flatmate said,"Those king penguins are like a meter high. Flippin' scarey!"

This gadget should not be taken seriously, okay???

Have a cup o' joe ...

"Since we are capable of change and modifications ... the future will be in many ways only as good as we have the courage to make it."

Favorite Web Sites:

Some of my favorite things:

www.slate.com

Poems By Dorothy Parker....

Click for more "Katamon"

Poem by e.e. cummings.....

A love letter ................

Click on the picture for Ray-Jez and Mozart

Click on the kitty!