Title: How it happened...Harry's version
Author:Tauna (blktauna@shawstudios.com)
Series: VOY
Part: 2/2
Rating: R
Codes: P/K
Summary: Harry looks back on life with Tom.

Archive as you will. I'd love to know if you enjoyed it. Constructive criticism is welcome. Flames are not.

**Disclaimer**
Paramount owns Tom and Harry, I just play with them. Remember People, this is fantasy.
You should be over 18 and not offended by two boys in love to read this.

How it happened...Harry's version 2/2 (VOY: P/K) [R]
by Tauna

You know I always wondered if you wrote Sandrine's for me.

I remember when we met on DS9. I could feel your eyes boring into me. That was the real reason I was so flustered, not because of that annoying ferengi. You scared me. No one had ever looked at me that way before and well, I liked it...

I liked you too. As much as you scared me because you were a convict and everything, I just knew I could trust you. Maybe my head was swelled or something but I knew right away you would look after me. I can never thank you enough for that either. Without you, that first year would have been impossible. I swear though, your whole goal was to see how far you could corrupt me. I know you enjoyed it when the Delaneys thanked me and I had no clue why. You're such a pig sometimes.

You confused me alot that first year too. You used to purr in my ear. It was the weirdest thing. I really didn't know why...then... You used to do it to all the Paris Conquests. Eventually I sort of came to the realization that maybe you wanted to expand the threshold of Paris Conquests, but that strict upbringing you torture me about never really touched on that possibility, so it took awhile for that concept to occur to me. I wonder if you know how many times I used to just stare at you while you were piloting the ship. I would just watch your hands fly all over the helm and I'd get all squiggly. The hardest thing I ever had to do was admit to myself that I wanted to be a Paris Conquest. You were so patient. I know that's why you ended up with B'Elanna for so long. I'm still sorry for that.

I still have nightmares about Akritiri. I still dream that I killed you. At least now you're there to comfort me and I know right away that it isn't true. That's always been my biggest fear, losing you. I'd never make it now. But even after prison, I could finally admit things to myself but I still couldn't go through with it. When I stood over you and said "this man is my friend" you knew then it would only be a matter of time. You just didn't know how long... I know ...I know... I can be remarkably thick sometimes. When we lay there, everything touching, it was all I could do not to kiss you. I still don't know why I didn't because I know that was what we both wanted most.

You always were grabby though. Sometimes my butt would be sore from you sneaking feels. It not that I didn't enjoy them but... B'Elanna used to give you such dirty looks. She knew what was going on. Maybe one day she'll forgive us.

Then there was Tal... I know you still hate her. I loved her almost as much as you... maybe she was just a substitute, I don't know, but when she didn't join Voyager to be with me... I thought you were going to explode. I was really hurt when you wouldn't talk to me about it, but I know now how hard that whole thing was for you.

And the thing with Seven. I know you still don't understand what I see in her, but we are the same, she and I. It was a comfort to be with someone who's emotions were as open as my own. I was really the only man who she felt she was able to ask about courtship rituals and copulation and stuff like that. Even she knew I couldn't lie to her. She's the one who asked me if I had a "thing" for tall blondes. Trust me she's more perceptive than you think...

After you and B'Elanna had the big fight, I knew it would happen. I wanted you so badly. I had finally come to terms with the whole sexuality thing but I'm not the most forward of people so... Even when I played that Cole Porter song for you..."I love Paris" ... you didn't take me up on it. I swear I thought you got the hint after that time in turbolift, when I said "I feel funny.." You made me limp onto the bridge. I know that was a payback. Sometimes I think you're the big tease, not me... You always asked me why I never wondered about the chains in Capt. Proton. Who needed to wonder, I knew what you were doing... I still have that Buster Kincaid belt. The buckle is completely mangled. I have no idea how you got that off of me without breaking something... on me or the belt.

I think the best part about you is the true spirit of exploration you have. Well exploration of me, anyway. I didn't even know about the foot thing until you did it. There's lots I didn't know about myself until you helped me see them. I have never thanked you, but I think I might know a good way to fix that.

You are a continual amazement to me Tom Paris and I love you more than anything in the universe.

I want the Text Version