A week ago, on the morning of September 11, 2001, I awoke, as millions of other Americans also did, to the unimaginable sight of the World Trade Center in New York City, attacked and leveled by two hijacked commercial airliners. (It couldn’t happen here. Snapshot of airplane a second before it hit.) Columns of thick black smoke rose from both towers, trailing across the sky as our innocence burned away. (It was the cover of newspapers across the nation.) Hopeless office workers jumped from the buildings to their deaths. (Look away…) A couple held hands as they leaped. (Shut your eyes.) At 9:35 am, I tuned in to see this unforgettable unreal tragic spectacle. (Seeing is believing or is believing seeing?) Twenty minutes later, the south tower of the WTC collapsed. (Double-take.) Soon news came that The Pentagon at Washington DC was also hit. (What?) The north WTC tower collapsed one half hour after the first. (God,no,god,no,god….) Yet another plane crashed at the outskirts of Pittsburgh. Chaos spread over America during the hours of the morning, like some sickly piece of linen, as reports of car bombs and even more hijacked airplanes ran unconfirmed across the land. Terror paralyzed the nation, inflicted upon thousands by men driven by an incomprehensible zealously fueled obsession. (It couldn’t happen here. But It did.)
     We now live in a different country. In moments, everything’s changed. Thousands have died; some bodies, their forms burnt to ash or grounded to anonymous flesh, perhaps will never be recovered and identified. The hearts of countless families have been shattered. Our resolve as a nation was cut deep to the very basic fabric of our democracy. We’re no longer innocent. No longer thrusting. No longer invulnerable. We’re now a nation at war. At war, not necessarily with a man named Osama Bin Laden, nor necessarily with the Taliban regime of Afghanistan, but with the present threat of Terrorism and the will of men intent to cause death and devastation indiscriminately at a mass scale in the name of their various religious and political agendas. In the desperation of their powerlessness and intensity of their hatred, these men have created a new evil monstrosity for the civilized world to contend with. And I’ve no doubt that what I witnessed that morning a week ago was evil.
     The shock I felt, as the media played and replayed this catastrophe. The image of that second plane crashing into the WTC once and again and again and again, each time it becoming realer than real, will stay with me for the rest of my days. The anger soon came, as I felt the sting of injustice these hatemongers committed. Incomprehensible to me how people can demonstrate such little regard and respect for fellow human beings. On later days, I dove into the deep sorrow of the tragedy which took place. I sobbed at times. The concept of such massive loss of life in a matter of seconds overflowed my mind with pain and sadness.
     It was merely a week ago. Now we wait. We wait for the bodies to be recovered. We wait for the funerals. We wait for the response of the civilized world against those responsible. We wait in airports to travel in safety which will never be again and was never there to begin with. We wait as if to awaken from this nightmare, be held in warm arms and be told that such a thing never happened. We wait for one day to perhaps recapture what America was moments before these events--self-assured, free, and secure.
And for me, all this brings perspective--on the foundations of this nation, which we have forgotten through years of petty infighting. Perspective on how all strangers drifting along our lives, are now urgently closer to us than ever before. Perspective that too much negativity, criticism and rather unfounded anger clouds our days. We wrongly have believed that these squabbles actually meant something or that in winning them gained us something. But we’ve lost. We all lost something in the day of September 11th.
     Retaliation isn’t the answer. Hatred of entire races and religions isn’t the answer. Ranting about ‘them towelheads’ isn’t the answer. Gunning down a random arab-american, as it’s happened in the last week, isn’t the answer—it’s just more hatred spilling profusely from an open wound. No answers to be had. Justice is indeed needed, as also is the systemic eradication of the sources of Terrorism around the world. The civilized nations of the world will have to join together to fight for years to prevent such a tragedy from occurring again. Many retort that this was America tasting some of its own medicine, but this was concentrated, vomituous bad medicine, and yet again who doesn’t know that life at times is one immense gray area—there’s no good reason for what has happened. What was done is indefensible. Blood will be spilled, yes, but as spiritual and civilized as I am, I can’t fucking kid myself--this is beyond any sort of civilized discourse. This crosses beyond the limits of sanity.
     I was witness to the unimaginable and the now all too real. I shall never forget. Shall never be the same. But I take the steps to move on. You do so also. Volunteer. Help any way you can. Live. Learn. Love. Light. Laugh. Our days are short and will end in manners unforeseen. Creation never made our lives guaranteed. Make the golden hours count. Be a beacon and burn bright. Everyday I move forward, stuck in time, herded along in the course of history, a witness to this event which now casts a chilling far-stretching shadow on our existence. My person is carried away, like the thick black smoke from the towers, through the land of the living, as the souls of the victims cross into an unknown great beyond, walking into and through us, criss-crossing our way unto Eternity.

                                                              copyright 2001  

     Armando Valle can be e-mailed at:spirinexus@hotmail.com

    (Click here to return to main page)