TOURING HISTORIC CHARLESTON
Click here to return to the recent columns.
So do I look tan and rested?
Rested at least?
Well, I certainly feel rested, having just gotten back from vacation. My wife and I went to Charleston for a few days just to unwind.
That’s Charleston, SC, by the way. Doubt many people stake out Charleston, WV as a vacation destination.
I have no recollection of ever having gone to Charleston, despite the fact that my mother swears I have been there. I think she took the other three kids and just left me at home to fend for myself. Perhaps I was the inspiration for those wacky, zany Home Alone movies.
So, according to my memory, this was my first trip to Charleston. My wife and I stayed at a very nice bed and breakfast. It is clear to me that, when beds and breakfasts were first being designed, I was the last person they were thinking of. Several times during our stay I heard my wife say the following:
"Michael, take your shoes off when you’re on the bed!"
"No, I don’t think they have a bar downstairs."
"Yes, you need to wear pants down to breakfast."
Eventually, I got used to staying at a really nice house that looks more like a museum. Fortunately, there is plenty to do in Charleston, so we didn’t have to spend our days with my being reprimanded for improper B&B behavior.
Our first tourist-type thing to do was to go on the thrill ride known as navigating Charleston’s streets. Apparently, the city planners of Charleston all got together one night, drank several gallons of grain alcohol, and started planning the roads. The roads are constantly turning into left-turn only, right-turn only, straight-turn only, or turn-right and then-bear-left only. Plus, each lane was about 17 inches wide, which was especially fun for someone driving an SUV.
Once we secured a parking place, we decided we would tour the city on foot. There are countless beautiful homes and historic homes throughout Charleston, and we wandered the city looking at the sites. It must be somewhat uncomfortable for some of the residents there having people stroll into their yards, peek in the windows, and, on occasion, come on in and search for the facilities.
Because there were so many homes, my wife and I opted to take a carriage tour through the city. This is a popular way for tourists to see the city, as evidenced by the six or seven thousand carriages strolling through the streets, with absolutely no regard for a pedestrian, in particular one who has stopped to tie his shoe.
One side note – for those of you considering a carriage tour, check and see if your wife is scared of horses before you embark. If you find she is, run – don’t walk – to the nearest carriage tour because, my friend, you can’t beat that for entertainment!
After the carriage tour, we decided to tour one of the historic homes. We opted for the Nathaniel Russell house for two reasons:
The most famous part of the home is a three-story spiral staircase with no visible supports. Basically, it just fans upwards to the third floor (making a stop on the second, of course). As I understood it, the staircase stays up because of, oh, magic or something. As the tour guide was showing us the staircase, she instructed us to head on up the second floor. Now, 150 years ago, this staircase may have been just a super snazzy idea. But sending 20 members of the Fast Food Era up these steps with no visible support seemed like a really bad idea, along the lines of Caddyshack II. Fortunately, there was enough magic left in the steps for our group to make it, although I did see the group behind us had some well fed folks, so I’m not sure if the staircase is still standing.
We hit several more tourist spots, including Fort Sumter and the World’s Most Narrow Yet Fastest Traveled Bridge, and enjoyed ourselves immensely. Upon leaving, my wife and I both agreed that we would like to return in the near future. Hopefully, they will have widened the streets by then.