WE GOT OUR COMEDY CENTRAL!

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You’re welcome.

Really, that’s all I can say. I mean, I couldn’t have done it without all of your help. Well, I probably could have, but I felt like letting you play in the game as well.

For those of you who haven’t heard the good news, we are finally getting Comedy Central, and I am taking full credit for getting it here.

Now, I know what you’re saying: "Mike, you have every right to take full credit for bringing that channel here, because it was your will, your determination, and your intestinal fortitude, whatever that may be, that made it happen." And I agree with you 100 percent.

OK, OK. So I’m probably not the one responsible for Comedy Central being added to our cable lineup, but I’d like to think I had some part in it.

For those of you who don’t remember, I wrote a column many months ago calling for the addition of Comedy Central, the all comedy network. (I guess I didn’t really need to clarify that, did I? Very few people probably said, "Comedy Central? I wonder if they have some stories about the Jonestown Massacre or the Irish famine on there?") I implored the readers to call the cable company and voice their want -- nay, their need -- for Comedy Central.

I also did my part whenever I sent in my bill. Instead of writing my return address on the envelope, I would write something like, "GIVE ME COMEDY CENTRAL OR I WILL STOP FEEDING MY DOG." In retrospect, that probably did little more than disturb my mail carrier.

A short while later, the cable powers that be had made their decision. Instead of Comedy Central, we were given the Golf Channel (the Golf Channel!) and Bravo, a network with the sole intention of dubbing bad Italian movies. I called the cable company, and they told me that they had only "a few" calls asking for Comedy Central. I know this isn’t true, because one of my friends was unemployed at the time, and he spent the better part of the day trying out different voices when he called and asked for it. As far they knew, they had every nationality from Arabic to Zimbabwean calling in.

After this, I decided that I would up the ante on my quest for Comedy Central. I went to the Comedy Central website and found that you could e-mail them and they would take up the cause on your behalf. So, I e-mailed everyone I knew and asked them to e-mail Comedy Central on our behalf. Soon, thousands upon thousands of e-mails were streaming into Comedy Central. Granted, most of those had nothing to do with my cable company, but they were streaming in regardless.

After several months, I still had no Comedy Central, and my South Park was being bootlegged in by a friend with a satellite dish. (Note to authorities: If that is illegal, then it was just a joke. I have never seen South Park.)

I had begun to think all of the work had been for naught until I strode to the mailbox last Friday. There, I saw the envelope informing me of the channel addition. (We’re also getting Speedvision, a channel for NASCAR fans. I would digress into a diatribe right now about how, instead of watching Speedvision, I could look out my front door and see people driving and turning left, but I wouldn’t want to anger the millions of disillusioned people who think NASCAR is a sport. Uh-oh. Here come the e-mails.)

Regardless of who was responsible for getting the channel added, I’m just happy that it’s on its way. Hats off to you, cable company, for adding the channel that I have fought so long and hard for. And thanks for not having a restraining order placed on my friends and me. We promise to stop calling now.