TWO KIDS

TWO KIDS, TWO DIETS

When my daughter first started on solid foods a couple of years ago, our pediatrician gave us lots of practical advice for keeping our child from becoming a picky eater.

The main thing, he stressed, was not to become a short-order cook. It was important, he said, that we build a habit of providing a balanced meal and not giving in for what she thought was an acceptable alternative, even if it meant a loud, screaming jag that involved several pints of tears and about six pounds of airborne spaghetti.

And we diligently stuck to his advice for at least the next two meals. At that point, the idea of being a short-order cook sounded far more appealing than being spaghetti-headed.

We have found that life is far more harmonious if we just stick to the tried and true foods that she prefers. While I would love to have her eat whatever it is we are having for dinner, we find it is just easier to serve up a large plate of blueberry syrup and let her be happy.

OK, I'm kidding. She eats well. Her mother sees to that. It's just that she doesn't have a lot of diversity in her diet. Granted, neither do my dogs, and they seem pretty content.

Fortunately, my wife has something I don't, and that something is intelligence. My wife serves Allie very balanced meals, and somehow knows what a growing child needs. I once randomly put together pasta, bananas, oranges and green beans, and my wife praised my efforts at getting a proper meal for our child. I opted not to let her know that I had actually just given her a sampler platter on the off chance that she would eat something that I gave her.

So we were kinda concerned when Parker came along. We were pretty much accepting the fact that he would be a picky eater as well, and our pediatrician would find out about it and tell us that he had EXPLICITLY told us not to be short-order cooks, and now we had let TWO of our children become picky eaters and he would fine us or take away waiting room aquarium time for being short-order cook parents.

Parker has since started on solid foods, and I think I can safely say that, when it comes to Parker being a picky eater, there is more chance that Parker will be named starting center for the San Antonio Spurs this season.

We first realized that Parker was ready for solid foods when my wife was holding him while she was having a bowl of oatmeal. He began leaning and straining, trying to get to the bowl, and making this loud groaning/wailing /grunting noise, practically begging for whatever was in the bowl. She gave him a little taste, and it was instant baby nirvana.

As we tried more and more foods, we found that there was nothing -- nothing -- this kid does not like. It was like having a little velociraptor in the house. I do not leave him alone in the same room with the cat, because every time he sees her he just stares and drools. Granted, about 70 percent of his waking time is spent drooling, so maybe the cat is safe. Or, perhaps, he is eyeing everything in his surrounding for edibles.

As he has progressed in his eating habits, he has moved closer and closer to eating what my wife and I eat. That's a nice change, since it doesn't involve any additional preparation. Just pitch him some sushi, some peanuts and a few rags eggs and he's happy!

HA! Kidding again! But that's also why my wife is there, to monitor the situation and keep me apprised of what is appropriate. ("No, I think he's a little young for a rib slab.") If it were up to me, I would allow both of our children the freedom to eat when they wanted, how they wanted and where they wanted, because that, quite frankly, is the easiest approach. Allie would be eating nothing but M &Ms while sitting four inches from the television and sound cranked to the maximum volume, and Parker would be set loose in the pantry to browse at his own leisure.

So our children have developed two very different eating habits, which is fine because, last I checked, they are two very different kids. Allie has a small but certain family of foods she enjoys, and Parker will eat anything not securely fastened.

We are, I suppose, somewhat short-order cooks, but I feel we have managed to reach a comfortable and healthy level of kiddie eats. Which should keep us from getting fined by our pediatrician.