WORK IT OUT

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Sometimes, you just have to let them work it out.

My wife and I were enjoying our Sunday morning ritual, which consists of

sprawling out on the den couches, spreading out the paper and occasionally glancing over to see just how many things our children have taken out of the entertainment center.

So it’s usually a pretty peaceful morning. Our kids are both pretty good at playing without too much controversy. Of course, on occasion, they get a little bit rowdy, and we have to don our referee jerseys and say things such as, “If your brother was meant to fly, he would have wings.

Now get off the table and stop eyeing the ceiling fan.” My daughter is 4 and my son is 18 months, so usually my daughter has the advantage. But as Parker gets older, he is getting a little bigger, a little tougher and, let’s face it, a little spunkier. (Or, as my wife

calls it, “a little meaner.”)

For example, the other day, Allie was watching a movie in the playroom. She was sitting quietly, which is a fairly uncommon occurrence, so I vividly recall the moment. Parker was sitting on the floor playing with a car when, all of the sudden, he looked up, cut a glance to Allie, and then stomped over to her and, before she knew what was happening, he grabbed her by the hair (for those of you who read a couple of weeks ago, you will note that this was BEFORE what is only referred to as The Incident), and dragged her over onto the ground. It was a very cavemanesque move, something we generally frown on in our households. (Another caveman no-no: Drawing on walls.) I have to give credit to Allie, who stood up and looked over at me as if to say, “Uh, are you gonna handle this or am I?”

I praised Allie for not responding, and explained to her that Parker was still little and he was learning. I tried to talk to Parker about what he was doing, but he saw a ball on the other side of the room and decided his only answer for his actions would be, “BALL! BALL! BALL!” Apparently, that’s a toddler’s version of pleading the fifth.

So back to Sunday morning. Parker was doing his morning exercises, which consist of going to the window and pointing at the dogs. He will then say, “DOGGIE!” over and over until the dogs see him and run up to the window to lick the window. Parker will then run screaming from the window as if a velociraptor had just approached the window, rather than an old mutt and a Basset hound. He will then wait about five seconds and repeat the process. Allie, meanwhile, was making soup. You see, she’s old enough now that she should be making our dinner. Enough of living off the system.

HA! Kidding, of course. It was pretend-soup, and this version consisted of magnet letters and puzzle pieces. It looked far more appetizing than her previous soup, with primary ingredients of dirt and bird seed. During one of Parker’s frequent screaming passes from the window, he noticed that Allie had left her soup temporarily unattended. Parker looked at the situation and, to the best I can tell, thought, “Hey, nice bowl.”

So Parker dumped the soup on the floor and proceeded to proudly show off his snappy new bowl. Allie was returning to her soup detail when she saw what was happening. Allie announced to Parker that it was HER bowl, and that SHE was playing with it. She reached for the bowl, at which point Parker made it very clear that he was not going to relinquish control.

As my wife and I looked up from our papers, we saw a Tupperware tug-of-war ensuing. A very loud one. So at this point, we’ve got a decision to make. In our house, you have to share. But also in our house, if you leave something to play with something else, your play item is up for grabs. Of course, screaming is not our preferred method of communication.

“So, what should we do?” I asked my wife.

She sighed and thought for a moment. “Sometimes, you just have to let them work it out.”

I would love to tell you how they resolved their conflict, but the truth of the matter, I simply can’t remember. It was not a big deal. Just siblings being siblings. And children need to learn to deal with things in life. Why not start with the little things? So while I don’t remember the precise details, I can tell you this: They worked it out.