To Mom

Dear Mom:

I just want to thank you for doing your best,
To always put me last.
You tried so many times to get rid of me,
A reminder of the past.

Somehow I always found my way back,
I don't even know for what.
You made my life so hellish,
You made me want to cut.

I'd hold it tight and close my eyes.
Forget about the pain.
Tearing through my tender flesh,
I got even.  I got sane.

Thanks for always understanding
What I was going through.
Sitting there staring, like I was a freak,
It's what you turned me into.

Always trying to find someone else,
someone to be blamed.
Didn't you know it was always you?
Don't you feel ashamed?

Sometimes I sit and think of you
And all I feel is hate.
But deep down inside, I know I still love you,
It's probably innate.

©

Laura Ann Boyd
July 15, 1997