PLEASE: We regret to inform you your FLIGHT/TRIP has been cancelled. WE DONT KNOW WHEN IT WILL BE RESCHEDULED TO. i.e. we're ripping you off big time and you don't even know it.

IN EFFECT: You're on our time. You're paying us to be on our time. WE CAN DO WHAT WE WANT WITH YOU. We have your money and your children. You have less than nothing. THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO. Sit back and enjoy the complimentary water.

LOOKING GLASS WINDOWS: Don't bother to call people you know and tell them about this. They won't care or remember. HELL YOU WONT EVEN REMEMBER IN A YEARS TIME. Just relax. Take some asprin. It's your fault anyway. Everything is your fault. YOU ARE AT FAULT. NOTHING IS OUR FAULT.

AND AGAIN: Dont worry about a thing. You will be put on the next flight we can find that is totally inconvenient for you and not heading anywhere near your original destination. NO, WE DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOU OR LIKE YOU. Stay seated and muted. Turn off your mouth and your free will. Surrender. JUST GIVE IT UP.